Side-Write: Interview with Death (Patreon)

In thinking about how this world comes together, I do feel like the gods will inevitably be big players, whose influence will be felt in a lot of different situations, in a lot of different ways. The more I thought about these beings, how they'd fit into the world, and how the world would be shaped around them, the more this idea came together in my mind as something that could be fun to explore. The dynamic between gods and mortals is always a strange one, and these ones in particular push that to a pretty acute contradiction.

I did enjoy this one, and it made me wonder if interviews for the other gods might be worthwhile, or if it would just turn into more of the same. I'd be interested to know if you guys would like to see more of this or prefer something a little more down-to-earth.

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Q: Thank you very much for allowing me this honor. Ah... Just to make sure, I'm not... in danger, being this close to you, am I?

A: No, of course not. The others might let their influence run wild, but I have a hard enough time convincing people there's nothing to fear without leaving death everywhere I go. That's why I'm glad to have the chance to try and set the record straight a little.

Q: I see. So... As long as I don't make you too angry or anything, then?

A: If you make me angry, I may ask you to leave, but I'm not going to kill you. This is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of monster do you think I am?

Q: I'm sorry. I honestly know very little about you, I just--

A: You're just afraid to die. And why is that? Your instincts tell you to fear death, but those are relics of the ancient world. It's fine if you don't want to die, but this obsession, this all-consuming compulsion to avoid death as long as possible, to me that seems foolish. See now how hard it is to even sit down and have a conversation without whoever I'm talking to suddenly panicking that they might die now rather than later.

Q: ...Later?

A: Yes. Everyone dies, and everyone knows it. Someday, you too will leave this world behind and spend the rest of eternity with me. Maybe that will be tomorrow, or in however many decades, but it will happen, and you're well aware of it, aren't you?

Q: Well... yes. I suppose I just don't think about it much.

A: I don't think much about what I'll be doing in twenty years either, but that's not why, is it? You avoid thinking about it.

Q: ...Yes, I suppose so.

A: And then suddenly I show up, and you think about your own death and you panic, because you think oh, maybe it's finally here! This is what I have to deal with every time I try to talk to someone. No. I am not going to kill you. There's no reason for me to rush things. Are you ready to have an actual conversation now?

Q: I... yes. Well. I see we've hit a sore spot right away, and I'm sorry for that. ...How do you think people should feel about death, then?

A: Honestly, I think I'd just be happy if there were more variety to it. It can be hard not to take it personally when just about every single person I meet has been trying their hardest to avoid me. You know? Wouldn't you find that exhausting?

Q: ...I suppose that would be very unpleasant, yes. That sounds like it would make meeting people a... certainly not a highlight of your day.

A: It's not. But I'm doing it about once a second. And it's almost never a happy meeting.

Q: Once a second? You're... meeting... people right now?

A: I always am. Sometimes in great bursts all at once, sometimes I get a few seconds of silence, but there's always more coming in. In the time it's taken to say this, three people and two of what you would call monsters have joined me. Only one of them isn't complaining.

Q: That... does sound very difficult to have to deal with all the time.

A: Well, it's why I'm here. And... it's true that people's attitudes when they meet me is more of a personal complaint. It's always a sour place to start, but I make do. The larger issue is that I wish people didn't see death as such a negative thing. So many people seem to think of me as evil or cruel just because I embody death. Death isn't cruel, and it's not evil, any more than the end of a day is. The next day can't begin until the last ends, and what is more beautiful than dusk on a good day?

Q: I suppose that, like the night, many people fear death because they don't know what lies out of sight.

A: Would you like to know what happens after you die?

Q: I... Yes. Please.

A: After your body releases you... assuming none of that "no violence" mischief doesn't get in the way... you wake in my embrace. You no longer have a physical form, but you can speak with me and look back over the life you've led. You'll be confused and frustrated at first, usually, and I'll comfort you as you work through all of that. It takes most of you a while to let go of your habits from life, but sooner or later, you start telling me about your past. About your great deeds, and your legacy, and your accomplishments. And eventually, your mistakes, your sins, and your regrets. You find you can retrace your history more clearly than you ever could in life, and you come to realize so many things that seem obvious now. You ask, how did you not see it? How could you be so blind? And you wish that you could have done things differently. Except... the more you examine yourself, the person you were every step of the way, struggling and growing and failing and learning, the more you come to... accept yourself, and even love yourself. Sometimes you'll tell me the same stories many times over, but you'll tell them a very different way than you did the first. It can take a long time, but eventually, you become content with yourself, regrets and all, and you fall into silence. You lost the ability to do any more, to become a different person or make amends when you died, but you gained the perspective to, eventually, find peace with the person you were in life. And you share eternity with me, reflecting on the life you led.

Q: ...I, uh...

A: Would you like to know what the dead most often wish they could tell the living?

Q: Um... yes...?

A: Heh. I really am doing your job for you, aren't I? Well. There are three things the dead most often wish they could pass on to the living. First: take more risks. They wish they had been less content with what they had, and strove more for that which was hard but would have been worth it. Second: love yourself. They regret wasting so much time and energy being bitter and self-destructive, wishing they were something else, someone else. Third: love others. Even more wasted hating and fighting and fearing and refusing to trust anyone. They look back on their lives and see so many missed connections, so many petty squabbles, so many people they hurt when they could have been helping, and it takes a very long time to accept that they let their fear so manipulate them. This is the wisdom of the dead.

Q: I... thank you. ...Are the dead... happy with you?

A: Eventually, they find a sort of contentment. Often there's a lot of strife in the first months, or years for some. They do tend to feel silly having feared me so much, too.

Q: I see. So... You were talking about the timing for when people die, before. You said you don't care to rush things. You don't prefer that people die sooner rather than later?

A: Of course not. There are better and worse times to die, and it can frustrate me when things are twisted so it's timed poorly, but some lives are better suited to go a long time, while others are better on the short side. But really, that's more a matter of how much people suffer, and how happy they can be with their story in the end, than anything else. It's not anything worth interfering for.

Q: What makes some lives... better if they're short?

A: Oh, many things. A wild, violent life isn't meant to be a very long one, is it? Well, it didn't used to be. Or someone might lead a good life, then something awful happens that leaves them suffering for a long time before they finally die. Their story might have been a happier one if it had ended sooner. But then, I've also seen many people that survived awful things, and only found real happiness afterward. It's all the strange twists and turns your lives take that make them so fascinating to hear about, even after hearing so many.

Q: You've been alluding to it a few times now, I think... Are you frustrated with the, ah... the others' ban on violent deaths?

A: Well. Yes. It's hard not to feel like everyone's getting cheated out of their rightful paths here. I've known many people, before all this, that died in violent ways believing they were doing the right thing, and they greeted me happily. Others escaped terrible situations before they got much worse, or were saved from a slower, harsher death. Now, there are people that have died violently over a dozen times, and still they have to keep struggling out there. Dying itself can be an unpleasant experience, but these poor souls have to go through it over and over. And you may not know what the world was like before, but trust me, this twisted state of affairs is changing people. How they see themselves, and each other.

Q: You think it would have been better if they'd never changed how death works?

A: Absolutely. It's created bizarre imbalances in how the world works, and rather than letting things change naturally, it's frozen us in some sort of halfway state, stuck and limping along. And honestly, it's hard not to feel insulted that they would make such an attack on my domain.

Q: When you say it's frozen us, what do you mean, exactly?

A: Well, we were in a period of tremendous change. Everything was changing, and if given enough time, the creatures of this world would have found a new balance, but they wanted to save their fragile pets, so they changed the rules to suit them. I don't think it would be entirely unfair to call it childish.

Q: You mean... the fall of civilization? When all the people of the world were dying? You think that...?

A: I think that you guys had the home team advantage, and you still lost. You all should have joined me and gotten out of the way so the new ones, the "monsters," could forge a new future on their own. That's how you all had gotten to the top yourselves, so isn't that fair? But they pulled the most absurd cheat they could think of to stop it, and now you're all stuck dying over and over and still scraping by. It's ugly and cruel, and I'm sorry you have to go through it. I know you think it's good that you're alive, but honestly, it would be much more fair for you and for everyone else if your species was nothing but bones and memories today. I know better than anyone else just how much suffering this contrivance of a "rule" has created.

Q: If you'll excuse my saying so, I think this might be a valid reason for people to feel... uncomfortable around you.

A: Because I don't play favorites? Every person you've ever known and lost is part of me. All your ancestors, going back generations. I love them all. Someday, I'll love you, too. But right now, you walking around, living and breathing, represents the greatest sin against the natural order that has ever been committed. I don't hate you, and I don't want to kill you, but I hate what you represent. I hate that you're being dragged out here over and over to dance your torturous dance on a stage where you don't belong. I feel sorry for you, and for all the good, noble creatures that should have taken your place on the stage by now. None of that is reason to fear me, any more than you should fear your mother when she's angry at your father for encouraging you to misbehave.

Q: ...Are we... misbehaving?

A: You're doing what's natural for you. I don't hold it against you.

Q: ...I think you've given us a lot to think about. Um... Is there anything else you'd like people to know, before we draw this to a close?

A: Hmm. Sometimes I hear the phrase, "everyone dies alone." I do want people to know... that's not true. Every one of you is with me, when you die. You don't need to feel alone, and you don't need to feel afraid. I'm there, and I care about you, and I'm ready to help you shrug off the burdens of this world and finally relax. In the end... I'm here for you.

Q: Thank you. This has been... an incredible experience, and an honor.

A: It's not often I get to say "hello again" when a new one comes to me. I hope you won't be so nervous then.