Lith's Diary - August (Patreon)

Dear Diary,
Soooo tired.

Sorry. I've been grumpling a lot about how crazy things have been lately, huh? I'm just not cut out for the whole working and stressing and working more thing. I mean... probably nobody is really cut out for just working and stressing continuously. But me especially! I'd much prefer lying down and watching someone else work. Or maybe enticing them to give up working and come pet me.

...I guess it's a miracle I get anything done. So... good job, me! You did the thing! So many things... oof. It's getting better now, though. Settling down. Of course, that means it's time for me to start doing a bunch of stuff that was waiting for me to finish all the other stuff... so...

Ugh. Let's talk about video games or something.

Ummm... Hmm. Shoot. I haven't even played much of any game recently. I mean, I tried a few here and there, but I haven't really played enough of any of them I feel like I can say "this is a good game and here's why!" or "this is what's wrong with this game!" I don't want to have you grab a game or ignore it cause I played it for an hour and judged it by that out loud. Let's see...

Really, when I've had spare time I haven't been playing games all that much. Lately, it's been more watching the backlog of videos from this one channel on Youtube. I think I first spotted it from a random recommendation for their review of some old movie I really liked. I don't even remember what. Appropriately enough, they call their main series of reviews the Nostalgia Critic, and they basically take 15-30 minutes to run through a nostalgic movie, TV show, or even set of commercials, usually from the 80s through the early 00's. Aughts. I still dunno how to pronounce that.

They basically show a lot of clips from the show while describing the basics of the plot and where the show is strong or weak, what impressions it left, and what significance it had in its time period. It's kind of a weird mixture of review, historian, and plain old nostalgia pandering.

I think there are two things I really like about the series. One is, the guy delivering the review is clearly passionate and high-energy for all this. I've found that's been a big factor I look for in my entertainment on youtube. If I'm going to listen to or look at this person talking for a long time, I expect them to really care about what they're doing and talking about, and I want them to be excited for it, you know? I just can't keep any interest in people that sound like they're just doing this casually and being laid back or even nonchalant about the whole thing.

Which is maybe pretty ironic since I tend to be pretty laid back? But maybe that's part of it. I can be kinda low energy and my day can feel slow, so having someone high-energy to watch can give me just a little pep, maybe kick me into a higher gear for getting things done with my day. And I mean, I just appreciate sincere passion. I've never really cared for the aloof "too cool to care" attitude. Either you're lying or you're boring, and either way I don't see why I should give you any of my time.

That was a small tangent. The other thing I like about that series! They not only review shows and movies for what they did well or didn't, but they talk about that piece in the larger picture. They work to turn every review into something of a "lesson" where we can gain some understanding of what to strive for or avoid in good filmmaking and they often delve into the context around the piece and why it was a big deal at the time (or not,) and what it represented in the careers of notable figures involved in its production. Watching these shows, I not only felt like I was getting a good idea of shows I should watch (or rewatch), but like I was gradually gaining a greater understanding of how movies and shows have developed as a larger tapestry, building off of each other and the new developments in the industry over the years. It was never a big, overt history lesson getting in the way of things, they only talk about what is directly important to understanding the movie and its presence in our culture, but watch enough episodes and it starts coming together.

So in short... I like the show because it's trying to do something good. It's trying to be a positive force, spread positive messages, and even when it criticizes a show harshly and dramatically points out how awful it is, they make an effort to bring that around and make it something meaningful in its own right. I often feel like there's not enough of this out there, so going through this series has been a great little reprieve for me when I'm dealing with a lot of difficult stuff.

And yeah, I've been going through a lot, even if I can put it aside for a minute to watch a show, or ramble about the show to my Diary for some reason. But it's going to get better. I know it will, partly because I intend to make sure of it, and partly because I know I need to believe in that. I haven't always had a use for "faith" in the classic sense, but there's one thing I can admire about it. Even when things are hard, and you don't have any good reason to logically believe things will be better, you can choose to believe. And in believing, you can make things better. Doors will open to you that would remain closed if you were trapped in by fear and pain. Hope is a powerful thing.

Things will get better for me. And they'll get better for you. Remember that, if you're feeling like you're down and out, okay? Things will get better. All things pass, and with a little work and a little hope, we can get past even the worst stuff.

Just look at us now, finding new reasons for hope over in the void. We held on through some really... tough experiences, and... I was tempted to give up hope, sometimes. But we kept pushing, and now, we've finally got something that... that might really work. Finally. It's strange, sure, but change is inevitable, and if things are better after, then it's all to the good. Thank you for coming so far with me, through so much hardship, to bring us here. I know you've helped me, and you've helped Lithier, and without you we never would have come this far. Thank you, Diary. And remember...

Stay strong.
-Lith