Lith's Diary - February (Patreon)

Dear Diary,
I think this has been a pretty good month, all together! I've been getting a lot of work done, but also playing some really great games. Sure, there's been some frustration, but I think that at the moment, I'm kinda hitting that sweet spot between feeling like I'm making progress, accomplishing things, and also just enjoying myself and doing stuff purely because it's fun. Sure, part of me still feels like I should be working more still, like I could have been getting more done. But I don't think I could really call much of my time "wasted," like when I find myself doing stuff I don't actually enjoy, but just kind of do to distract myself, or to put off other things I could be doing.

So I guess I can call this month a success! Still room for improvement, which is a good thing, in a way. When you don't see how you can improve, it's a lot easier to get complacent, I think. "Ah, I've got this in the bag, I might as well relax," and next thing you know you've lost a lot of ground. That sort of thing.

Anyway, last time I mentioned Monster Hunter World, and man, I am still playing that a lot! It's funny. I hear people compare it to Dark Souls and stuff, but I enjoy this a LOT more than I enjoyed any of those games. With Dark Souls, you kinda just have to take your punishment until you learn all the little tricks I guess, but with Monster Hunter, it's a lot more about things being hard, and sometimes punishing, but through steady determination, you can beef yourself up and pick just the right tools for the job until you can finally beat up the monster that beat you up before. It's a really rewarding long-term experience where, when you run into a tough monster, you learn about it, then you go hunt other monsters to get the loot you need to make gear that's strong against the tough monster. There are a ton of little things you can do to prepare, to fight "smarter, not harder" and rise to the challenge as you discover new, crazy powerful monsters.

Also, apparently I play it completely different from most people? There are 14 types of weapon in the game, each of which plays radically different. Like, each one could be the whole set of mechanics you learn for fighting in a whole game, but you can switch between them anytime you go back to camp. Thing is, most people jump on one of the weapons with huge damage output. You've got a gigantic Buster Sword you have to throw your whole body into swinging, or Sephiroth's long sword for dodging around like crazy and doing lots of damage, or dual blades for tons of rapid fire hits, or just a big ol' hammer for knocking ten-ton monsters unconscious. Lots of very cool, dramatic weapons that can even like, transform and lodge explosives in the monsters and charge up to do even more damage and all sorts of stuff!

Meanwhile, I walk up to the monster with a really long pointy stick and a gigantic shield. So it's this giant monster tackling into me, throwing fireballs at me, rolling over on top of me and everything. And I just block all of that and don't give a crap. Any other hunter would be freaking out, dodge rolling constantly, running away until the monster settles down. Nope! I let the monster be a big baby flailing all over me, then when it stops for two seconds to take a breath... I stab it. Then it freaks out some more and does this huuuge swing that's supposed to throw me across the map. Nope! Now I'm behind it and I'm stabbing it some more. Now it's really mad. It starts spinning around, whipping its tail, jumping into the air to claw at me, dashing around the map, roaring to stun me. Nope! Stab stab stab.

Everyone else finds it really satisfying to, I guess, run away and dodge around until there's an opening, or they can stun the monster to make an opening so they can deal their big damage. Me? I like laughing in the monster's dumb face and stabbing it while it's trying to kill me. Or, more often, it plows past me and I laugh at its dumb butt (while stabbing it). I don't do big numbers, but I'm just constantly there, hitting it over and over and over, and it can't get rid of me. It almost feels like cheating. It might take a little longer, I'm not sure, but it seems to work well against pretty much every monster in the game.

Anyway! I have a lot of fun killing monsters and turning them into hats. I'm actually working on the final boss now, though I hear there's still a lot of game after that. And I've been playing some other good games too!

Anytime I play strategy games, I like doing the "turtle up, race up the tech tree, then steamroll" kind of approach. I like being super efficient with building up my resources while holding off the enemy. And I like tower defense. So I have to say, They Are Billions is working pretty great for me. It's all about building up your own town with a lot of interrelated resources you have to keep balanced while holding off hordes of zombies, both just wandering around the map and in occasional huge waves. It's still in early access and has a lot of kinks to work out, but it's really engaging trying to keep everything balanced and pushing forward as fast as possible, making full use of all your resources without ever letting the enemy through. Even just one zombie sneaking into your base before you're completely walled off can trigger a chain reaction and destroy your whole base! So you have to be vigilant, expand carefully, and build layer upon layer of redundant defenses to prepare for the worst. It strikes a great balance between brutal roguelike and village-building/resource managing, and I really dig it so far.

Actually, when I put it like that, I guess Slay the Spire is pretty similar! But I think I'll talk about that next time. I've only done one run through it so far and there's still a lot to try out, it seems. Liking it a lot as well though!

You know, it's funny. I hadn't even realized that this month has actually gone pretty well until I sat down to write to you. Like, once I really stopped and thought about it, it was obvious, but until then I was just kinda pushing on through with things. Worrying about the future, trying to figure out how to make things better, how to improve myself. But no, it's true. Even with all the problems, this was a good month. You could do a lot worse than having fun and staying productive. Sometimes, I guess it really is important just to step back and kinda take inventory. Or maybe, to stop and appreciate what you've got. That's the cliche version I guess, but it's true. We can forget to appreciate the good things in our lives if we don't stop and really think about it, but it's hard to forget about our problems. That's probably a big part of why it can be hard to stay positive sometimes.

I think we've all got more good in our lives than maybe we think about. I hope you've got a lot of good things in your life to hold you up when things are tough, Diary. I guess you could say I try to be one of them, when I can. A smile and a kind word can help someone a lot, so I try to give out lots of them. But more than that, I hope you can take the time to enjoy the good things in your life, Diary. I think you just might find there are a lot of them, if you really stop to take stock.

And... I guess that's a lesson I'm struggling wih in the void, too. But I've got you, at the very least. Even when things hurt, I've got you to help me, and do what I can't. So, thank you, Diary. Thank you for all your help, and... I'm sorry if I'm hard on you, sometimes. I really do want to be one of the good things in your life, too. It's just... it's hard, in there, right now. I'm really hoping we can figure out something better before long. But... you're helping with that, too. Thank you, Diary.

Thank you so much.
-Lith