I quite literally hit the Sunday matinee...... (Patreon)

And had a STUPENDOUS time, nay, a MARVELOUS time because NO ONE RUINED ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! SMILES : MASSIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I was originally set to go to the 9pm showing on Friday, but because of some inclement weather and because Mason agreed to go with me if I went on Sunday, I decided to do the matinee after all!!! And for sure it was quite simply the WISEST choice anyone anywhere has ever made...out of curiosity when I was purchasing my Sunday tickets I looked at the seating chart for the time I was supposed to go on Sunday, and it was S O L D O U T.........barely three seats left in the entire auditorium....for some that might sound like a dream. For ME?!?! NIGHTMARE. This morning when I checked the seating chart for our showing, there were only like at most 15 seats sold and it was one of the bigger auditoriums so I was grinning like a devil....

When we got there there were tons of people in the concessions line because there was, I think a TROLLS movie playing??? Some kinda child's movie was being played and the parents were lined up and also like stressing out??? And acting like there would be no popcorn left?? Idk man the vibes were kinda rancid at concessions LMFAOOO but my Swiftie radar was on and I was clocking a few of them in line. Much talk about the popcorn buckets, but I don't know if they ran out or if they just never had them, either way, I copped a stupid cup.

You know how much it cost?????????????????????/

19.89. For a plastic cup printed in a factory somewhere. It, TO ME, felt like being robbed at gun point because wtf am I gonna do, NOT get a souvenir?????????? But she KNOWS she's wrong for that....like come awwnnnn it could've been 15 dollars and you know it, it could've frankly been three pennies because that's the quality of the cup LIKKEEEEEE but I have it!! I got a cup. Clutter object obtained....hoarder level : 5 ....

We got probably the weirdest seats in the theater but I was being strategic...they were off to the side but they were 3-seaters that started about halfway up, so it ensured no one would be sitting directly next to us and because I got the front row no one would be directly in front of us either. So on the likely chance someone in there would stand up and try shaking ass to Cruel Summer it would NOT!!!!!!!!!!! block my view. PERIOD!!! In spite of being off to the side I was pretty happy with them lmfaoooo like we were in our own world over there. 

At first there were only about ten people in there and they were all adults and I was grinning. By the time the previews started I'd say there were maybe tops 20? 25 people? Some teen girlies, some like middle aged book club looking ladies in track suits (dead ass I was like ohhh she's got the Joan Rivers crowd.............), some parents and kids, some tweens, and then most horrifying of them all TO ME....early 20's girls wearing karma jackets bounding in in the middle of the previews looking unkempt like this was their second stop of the day after a nasty brunch with bottomless mimosas, and they were toting massive buckets of popcorn and making a ruckus on their way to their seats. My honest reaction : oh no....

But honestly. It was probably one of the better screenings you could ask for!!!! In my mind there are like two extremes that are both horrible - deathly silent, crickets, everyone acting like they're watching the Shawshank Redemption or some shit, ORRR, everyone standing up and screaming and throwing themselves at the screen and crying and losing their fucking minds. Luckily there is a happy middle ground!!!!!!!!!

Everybody clapped and cheered after every song, everyone sang along, but no one ever leapt at the screen, no one screamed, no one got up out of their seat to make a fool of themselves at the Regal Cinema, and all in all, everyone was there to just have fun and enjoy the show. There was like ZERO PERCENT nonsense. I was sitting there thinking WOW....SUNDAY MATINEE IS THE WAY TO GO!! 

Now onto the meat of the matter.......HOW WAS THE FILM........WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a deeply mentally ill experience. I actually wasn't sure what I would think of it because generally I do love live music and I enjoy concert films, but this was the first tour I'd ever seen more than once in person, and I wondered if I would be like, been there done that!!! 

I got that answer the second that clock showed up on screen counting down from 13....I was a broken soldier no I was a soldier reborn I was a soldier mounting my steed, I was a soldier putting on her helmet and her armor and riding into battle with my face paint on. I started crying AT that moment and I shit you not, I barely stopped for the remainder of the movie. To that end I've decided to go through every song / part of the show and describe my level of crying in order to show you how much I enjoyed or didn't enjoy various parts 

Miss Americana : weeping, sobbing, hands on face, can't believe this is my life!!!!!!!!! It was so jarring to hear her in like idk DOLBY SURROUND SOUND without tons of people screaming over her and she sounded so crisp and clear and LOOKED crisp and clear too like okayyyy maybe she's born with it, Maybe it's Maybelline!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cruel Summer : sobbing.....mouthing along with tears streaming down my face as though I were viewing Schindler's List in that theater....

 The Man : oddly I was still crying for this fuck ass song ajgoiaerjgioaj but to be fair I tended to cry at the actual shows too even though I don't really care for it and find it sort of corny. Idk I'm a sap something about being at the shows with all the girls and singing this song is powerful to me but that said I kinda remembered it not being THE ENTIRE SONG lmfao when she started the second verse I was like wait a second....somehow I blacked it out at every show I went to ajfoarijg 

You Need To Calm Down : tears for homophobia!!!!!!!! Shade NEVER made anybody less gay...NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Archer (MIA) : tears but only because the Fearless transition came on 

Fearless : big fat juicy tears streaming down mine own face. I had the very sudden realization that for a time Fearless was the most important record to me in my life when I had just moved to Montana and had zero friends - generally at actual shows I don't ruminate on stuff like that because there's no time, but boy, I WAS RUMINATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It made me emo. 

You Belong With Me : cried during You Belong With Me like the little bitch I am

Love Story : ..........what do you think??????????????? 

Evermore intro that skipped TTDS/NBNC : well....I didn't care because it was WILLOW O'CLOCK AND YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS I WAS SOBBING, I WAS PRAISING SATAN, I WAS CRYING, I WAS CLAPPING, I WAS CHEERING, I WAS CHANTING!!! THANK YOUUUUU SATAAANNNNNNNNN

Marjorie : haven't recovered yet....this was the one and only time anyone in that theater bothered me and it's because a few people were doing the flashlights but tbh whatever I was too busy having a spiritual connection to Taylor's dead grandma 

Champagne Problems : I liked hearing the speeches she did! Then I went to the bathroom lmfaoo wiping my tears the entire way 

Tolerate It : HONESTLY CINEMA!!!!!!!! CIN E MA !! I loved watching it on the movie because you can see the little details of what she's doing and the set up there, it made the experience a lot more moving and kinda felt more true and more real to sit it on film like that. Cried like I was stuck in a well....help meee....please help meeeee out of the well....

REPUTATION : WHOLE THEATER WENT NUTS. WE WERE PUSSIES OUT......WE LET OUR PUSSIES HANG RIGHT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Ready For It : Cinematic masterpiece rivaling a Scorsese film. The choreography is even better in HD!! Felt really dumb but yes I WAS crying during Ready For It....

Delicate : first time my tears dried up. This song is just not really much of anything to me anymore, I think if it weren't for 123LGB she wouldn't have it on the setlist necessarily. Great gowns beautiful gowns!!

Don't Blame Me : Tears came back for some reason.....well she was Aretha!!! 

LWYMMD : INTERGALAACCTICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC SLAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY getting to see all the moving parts of this performance was awesome, there's so much going on when you're at the show it's hard to see all the little details, but it was SOOOO GOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD. Omfg the intro had the girls shaking like never before it was the only time anyone really screamed but tbh I understood wholeheartedly...THIS was what The Godfather wishes it could accomplish frankly I did stop crying here too because I was so gagged my eyes weren't blinking they were wide open and glued to the screen 

Enchanted : well knowing Speak Now wasn't really having a moment much in the film kinda soured it a bit for me at first, plus she chose my personal least favorite gown to wear, but once she started singing I was fully immersed!!!!!!! And wept.....please don't be in love with someone else...etc etc....I was also doing her dramatic arm movements in the theater too. I'm sure the people behind me were loving it

Red set : the transition was kinda jarring because it goes from Taylor in her gown doing important work, and then suddenly the red box is on stage and 22 is starting. Well my tears were DRY!!!!!!!!!!!! AS A BONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS THE SAHARA DESERT FOR 10 ENTIRE MINUTES... Honestly, I thought the Red set dragged all three times I saw it in person and always chalked it up to well, being tired, it comes right after Rep and Enchanted which are high emotional tolls for me, and being right before Folklore etc etc - but honestly, it dragged just as much from the comfort of my seat in the theater. 22 is unnecessary to me...like we didn't ask...should've been Red the song. WANEGBT YIKES....I think Zack may have told me that the WANEGBT choreo is straight up bad and I hadn't ever noticed before, but boy, today I NOTICED. IT'S BAD. I WAS LIKE LMFAOOOOOOO....WOW! IKYWT idk the girls in the theater were gagging but I was busy wiping popcorn butter off my fingers with a napkin...

ATW10 : THE TEARS CAME BACK FOR 10 STRAIGHT MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!! BELLISSIMOOO ACTUALLY THAT WAS MY FIRST BELLISSIMO OF THE DAY. I SAID BELLISIMO!! INCREDIBLE!! 

The 1 : I was crying, yes!!! 

Betty : this was another moment someone was screaming. I was sobbing I was like wow someone in here REally loves Betty. It was fun idk!! 

TLGAD : the tears returned in a BIG WAY!!! I cried and also reclined comfortably in my seat and then sat right back up straight as an arrow for the bridge 

August/Illicit Affairs : WROW!! I cried, I cheered, I clapped, I saw Aretha come into the screen right before mine own eyes!!!!! 

My Tears Ricochet : noted to be my least favorite moment of the ENTIRE set. Drags on, baffling it's the entire song including the second verse - but from the second chorus onwards, SO IMPORTANT!!! WOWWWWWW A GAG!! SOBBED!!!! BELLISISMOOO 

Cardigan : was not missed. NEXT!! 

Style : THE GIRLS WERE GAGGGINNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME TOO....AND CRYING AS WELL!!! ETC ETC. This was a moment where I got to really look at the graphics and I was like...well!! It's nothing special!!! 

Blank Space : or was this the one with the graphics I thought were kinda so-so...either way Blank Space served and slayed though I did not cry because I was too busy enjoying the servitude 

Shake It Off : wept like a baby.......likkeeee you GOT to shake it off I believe it was Gandhi who spoke those words of pacifism and peace and love 

Wildest Dreams : cried for her in spirit....where did she go....why was she taken....

Bad Blood : eyes were bone dry. As I sat and watched the spectacle I remembered the hot heat of the flames on my skin when I was in section 115 right by the stage in Seattle. I don't recommend it actually is jarring and uncomfortable to be that close jaeroieroij 

Our Song : this was when I started thinking Taylor was going to win the Nobel Peace Prize for The Eras Tour Film. I was crying in a way that was unhealthy and made those around me uncomfortable, notably Mason who was understandably gagged that a song featuring lines such as "i was ridin shotgun with my hair undone" was causing me to have such a visceral reaction....

YOYOK : perhaps the darkest moment for my mental stability. Summer : went away. Yearning : stayed. I : sobbed and begged and pleaded for mercy.....INCREDIBLE!!! What I really liked about it was her grinning from ear to ear as she played it. Also when the crowd got really loud during MAKE THE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS!! BELLISSIMOOOOO

Lavender Haze : AMAZING VISUALS!! but my eyes were dry because I started noticing something about the film that like, if I HAD to make a critique (generally I wouldn't) but if I HAD TO....it would be that they were VERY into just keeping it tight on Taylor the entire time. It was most noticeable to me starting with this song because I LOVE the visuals for Lavender Haze and we barely saw them. They kept the camera on her and never really did aerial or distant shots, so we barely see the best visual of the whole show in my onion, which is when she's giant on the screen in the field of lavender. Like. That needs to be in HD...and it was not....I can't really remember if there were other songs where the visuals were just totally sacrificed like this - they didn't often show enough of the graphics on the cat walk which I was bummed about bc that's the kinda shit I never really saw bc I was always in the lower bowl or on floor. 

Anti-Hero - we cheered!!!!!!! Another case of the visuals being sacrificed. And in general the Midnights set has some GREAT visuals so I was kinda bummed and this was part of the movie where I started focusing on the like cinematography of it all so I was not crying aerjgoiaerjgioarjg 

Midnight Rain : nvm I was crying during this song arjoierjgioa LMFAOOOOOOO WHO WASN'T!!! WHO WASN'T!!!!!!!!! 

Vigilante Shit : I audibly sighed when I remembered I had to watch this but I sucked it back in because I actually think it's a GREAT part of the show when you haven't been on your feet for 3 straight hours and are sitting in a cozy chair lmfaoooo. The camera work on this part I think was great but it had to be because of the nature of the performance. Bellissimo! 

Bejeweled : my eyes were dry yes but my ass was also shaking. Bejeweled has in my onion some of the worst / most boring visuals so I didn't miss anything 

Mastermind : the most CRIMINAL robbery of visuals in the whole movie. I was really expecting them to do aerial shots of this performance to show like the chess board and all the dancers as pieces on it and it's a super interactive dance number, and again, it was just ALL focused on Taylor so I felt that it was done sort of dirty by not focusing more on the spectacle of the choreography. It's one of the best moments on the set for choreo and visuals so I was kinda let down....  

Karma : I MEANNN DUHHH I WAS CRYING...WE ALL WERE.....

Then I was a terrorist and sat and watched the credits all the way through so I could take a picture of the friendship bracelets at the end saying thank you to the fans. 

The movie theater employee standing at the front of the theater with his big trash bag waiting for me to get out so he can do his job : 

Mason waiting for me to get up : 

But I got my picture.....tears in my eyes yes.....

Overall I give Eras Tour Movie, as a swiftie, A FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS!!!!!!!! I definitely recommend going to see it in theaters if you were on the fence about it, because if you're smart and pick the right showing, you can have a REALLY good time and not deal with any of the riff raff. It kinda needs to be seen on the big screen.

-M