Jackie Jackpot (Patreon)

"Do you remember that MEAN old lunch lady from school?"

"Yeah, the one that had the OPPOSITE of butter face? She was probably HOT before she had three kids and let herself go!"

"You won't BELIEVE what she looks like now..."

"No WAY that's her! HOW!?"

"She won the lottery, split the pot with her old man, divorced him, spent an UNGODLY amount of money on plastic surgery and then moved to Damballah Island to model. Pfft- MODEL! We know what that means on -THAT- island!"

"You're full of it!"

"Dude, the list is RIGHT HERE... Face lift, lip fillers, gastric bypass, BBL, tummy tuck, 2500cc high profile saline... Bro, this list is longer than a CVS receipt!"

"Is there more of her... Ya know?"

"There's WAY more."