Chapter 366 – Unfair Choices (Patreon)

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The whiteness surrounding Tom vanished.

He had a body again. It felt familiar. He was still human. Curiously, he examined his hand. It was definitely his own. He traced the vein near the knuckle and confirmed the freckle between his little and ring fingers. There was absolutely no doubt this body had been created by someone with intimate knowledge of his physical appearance.

This was not reincarnation.

“What’s happening?” he stammered as he spun around to see the comforting metal walls of the system room. It was his own setup minus the ever-present number of questions. Confirming that did not lower his heart rate.

This was not what he expected. “Mirror.” He ordered, but nothing happened.

Another data point. This might appear to be his system room, but Tom wasn’t fooled. If it was his, he would be absolutely in control of everything. The fact he wasn’t meant something…

This was not how he imagined the next stage of his existence occurring.

“Calm down.” Dux’s voice said quietly from behind him.

He froze. If she didn’t want him seeing her, then he wouldn’t be able to do so. There was no point spinning around because if he did, she wouldn’t be there. All that would achieve would be to break the illusion of her presence… and the comfort that the idea of her being in the room brought him. It was self-delusion at its finest. He knew that logically, but couldn’t bring himself to care. With dying and all that being dead signified, he was happy to embrace small mercies wherever they occurred. .

“There has been an unexpected wrinkle and DEUS has used that opportunity to move you from suspended animation to a state of limbo…”

“How…” he licked his lips, dreading the answer. “How…How much time has passed?”

Dux laughed. “Eight hundred and seventy-nine…” She stopped talking.

“Days?” he asked his mind racing. He guessed if he was going to be reincarnated into a baby that was not that long. Two years was logically speaking better than he had expected. But it was such a long period of time. By this stage, the others would have succeeded or failed. Would he emerge with humans on the ascendency or to a lack of news which would force him to assume the worst.

Would being a baby without his traits be a boom or hindrance. His thoughts ran rampant as they explored different scenarios.

“No, not days seconds.”

Seconds? that meant the elapsed time was only fifteen minutes. His heart started beating again. “Did you have to pause there?” Then the implications of the change hit him and he felt his panic start to rise again. Fifteen minutes and then a wrinkle. What did that mean?

“Have to? Of course not, but it was fun.” Dux continued oblivious to the turmoil in Tom’s head. “Now we do have business to attend to. We’re about to transfer you to another location, but first. Deus said that she thinks it will be helpful if you experience this. I don’t know why, but she said it’s important. Potentially you can use it for additional motivation.”

Tom felt the standard connection of the system as it inserted memories straight into his brain and then he was living them. It was just like the True Dream and he was in a sub partition of his GODDESS’ mind during a meeting of the GODs. They debated with each other, and the meeting was markedly less hostile than the previous one that he had attended. They were discussing the results of the final trial and the longer the discussion went the angrier he got.

Yes, this could definitely fuel an inferno of unshakeable will.

Both the dragon’s and the giant’s lives had been saved by backroom dealing. They, the humans, had won a massive victory and then, because of the cheating, they had also lost at the same time.

With the memories completed he stood there staring blankly at the half reflective metal. From the blurry image, he was definitely in the body that he was used to. “Dux, why did she want me to see that?”

“In case they choose you.”

“Why? Scrap that. I don’t know what I want to ask.” His brain was trying to unravel the tangle of opposing thoughts that filled his head. Motivation, anger, evidence of corruption… the last felt stupid, but it wasn’t the craziest idea that had popped into his head. Why share that specific meeting of the GODs with him. “I…I don’t understand what she’s doing.”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“But you’re an avatar?”

“No, Tom! We’ve had this discussion. I’m about as much of an avatar of DEUS as you are.”

Tom felt a hint of embarrassment go through him. “Sorry I’m just… I’m just… Sorry… It’s… um… the shock.”

“I understand.” She said gently. “I truly understand. I don’t know why DEUS is playing things this way. All I can recommend is to watch and learn.”

The system room dissolved, and Tom found himself in a new place.

He was above a gathering of humans. They had been deposited in a central cleared location surrounded by pedestals adorned with fancy, expensive gifts. The contents were not static; they changed based on who was about to look at them. Adjusting to deliver the perfect temptation. Tom, having witnessed the GOD’s conference frowned in annoyance at the display. He had seen enough of DEUS’s thoughts to recognise the presentation of the possible prizes so openly was not her idea. They had been placed by the other GODs to tempt the humans into a poor decision.

He wondered if the humans chose wrong, whether she would step in as was her right. She was giving them a chance to choose, but whether she would let herself be bound by that self-determination was another matter.

That assessment of the surroundings had taken Tom only a moment, and then he focused on what was important.

Who wasn’t below him.

His eyes flicked over those gathered with mounting concern. Toni was missing, but there was no surprise there. He had seen her being torn to bits. But she wasn’t the only apparent death. Michael, Rahmat and Vidja were also missing. The loss that those four represented to humanity was significant. Rahmat had been their most powerful combatant and Vidja and Michael had been key parts of the brain’s trust.

There were other missing faces of course. Some he did not care about at all. Of the four others who had allied with Jenny, only Jane had survived. Selena’s squad more generally had been brutalised with only three surviving. Which consisted of Jane, Selena and one other. Maher was missing, which Tom considered to be the most significant loss from that group.

In fact, the numbers below were shockingly small. There were only ten in total. Four from his team and three from each of the others.

Tom shut his eyes horrified as his mind worked through the implications. It was greater than fifty percent losses and DEUS had been willing to accept those deaths.

He knew the thought was unfair and understood why DEUS had made the choices she had. Trying to block the dragon from coming back to life had been objectively the best decision. She represented too much danger and taking her off the board was worth all their lives plus some more. To buy her death for only a little more than half of their lives was like getting into bitcoin back in 2010 when they had only cost one dollar each a very profitable decision.

But to see so many of them dead… To have died himself.

He had known the odds of beating the dragon. Logically, he had understood that even victory would be bought with blood, but the amount was horrifying. To see that so few had made it through the trial.

On the side of the zone that he had been placed, the losses had not been that huge. Himself, Rahmat, Phil and Toni were the only confirmed deaths from there but based on the survivors the other half of the zone had not been so fortunate. Pretty much everyone there had been wiped out.

Clare had assigned people to locations, but she had compartmentalised the plans, kept them on an exclusive need to know basis, to protect them from enemy counterintelligence activities. He was sure she had modelled the battle and had predicted likely outcomes, but had not even shared their objectives with anyone let alone estimates of possible outcomes. So, he didn’t know if this outcome was by design or luck or more likely a factor of both. But over half of them were dead. It was a tragedy. Out of the eleven that had left the starting group, only four were still alive. But despite the lower numbers, those that had survived were far more powerful than the entire group had been before the trial. Each of those that were left would find the Underground area they had been struggling to survive in, to be pathetically weak, now. They were all a magnitude stronger than before.

Despite the losses, the logical part of him agreed with the decision to come. To seize the racial trait of a species was not an easy task. The strength they had gained here was a minimum for even attempting it.

Tom licked his lips and his eyes registered once more that Michael was missing, and he knew the truth.

That new skill Michael had received had assigned him to the ranks of decoys. Clare had probably hated it, but she had put him in the way of danger. Used him like a pawn in chess. A sacrifice to advance the rest of their forces.

Her plan Tom had to admit had been genius.

She had used people as bait and set up the opportunity to kill both the dragon and the giant. It had been a victory for the ages right until the GODs had done the deal they had.

The short-sightedness and self-interest of a single GOD had negated the sacrifice his friends had made.

Anger burned within him with an all-consuming fury.

They had won!

Against all odds, despite the hurdles, in a triumph against the meddling of the GODs, they had been victorious!

An epic achievement.

It would have been a stepping stone to… if not a glorious future then at least a liveable one.

Then the rules had been changed. That unimaginable success had been torn from them.

He wanted to scream at them. To rant and rave and ask SUPREME how what he had done was fair and then demand restitution.

Tom did nothing apart from squeezing his fists so tight that his near non-existent nails still cut into his palm. He held himself back as he trembled with repressed rage.

Unfortunately, they were GODs.

They were beyond reproach in any place outside his own thoughts.

There were no actions he could take. No higher power to complain too. All he could do was to sustain the fight. Make the hard choices and do whatever it took. Whether it would be in a continuation of this life or reincarnated in the next.

“I want to remain human and keep my memories.” He whispered, knowing that DEUS would hear him and hopefully respect his prayer.

He would not give up. There was no way he was letting an unfair playing field stop him from fighting.

Tears were running down his face.

He wiped them away furiously.

It was the injustice that did it. They had won and then lost to the fat suits cheating to give a prize to their precious progeny.

“It’s OK Tom.” Michael’s voice from beside him made him start. Tom had not sensed his approach.

He glanced sideways, and a stranger greeted him. Kind of, at least. Michael was still recognisable even if he had reverted to an old man’s form. Presumably the one he had worn on earth when his grandkids were around.

“I’m sad to see you up here instead of down there.”

“Yeah… A wador got me.”

“Damn, did you get kills prior?”

Tom nodded and then smiled. “Yes. I killed the insect champion to revenge Jingyi and Toni and I got to watch the dragon and giant be eliminated. Up until my death, it was mostly a good day.”

“If something is going to kill you that sounds like a good way to die. I wasn’t so lucky. I got smoked by a second direct hit of the dragon’s breath. Spent the entire time between my first dodge and that cowering. It was embarrassing.”

“We each did our jobs.”

“That we did Tom. That we did.”

“Do you know why you are here?” Tom asked directly.

Michael chuckled softly. “Know? Not at all. It’s by the grace of DEUS and her reasons is not for one like me to guess. But I am and if I’m chosen to have a second chance with the team, then I’ll use everything I observe to make us stronger. I’ll know who my friends and enemies are and who needs comforting because they didn’t get their choice. That will help me lead them better… and of course, if instead I go to reincarnation, then it won’t matter. Well, not fully. I will go knowing that we beat threats that were theoretically much more powerful than us. I can be proud of what we achieved.”

Tom wasn’t sure what to address from that speech. “Do you know how this chosen thing works?” He remembered FAMES at the end pushing his price up. That had been personal. It had sounded like it was going to put him at a disadvantage.

“Yes. I saw it.” Michael frowned. “And I take it you haven’t. If so, I have bad news for you barring another miracle. This is the last time we’ll chat.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You’re not giving up are you?”

Michael shook his head. “No, nothing like that. It’s just the reality of the situation. There aren’t enough points to resurrect both of us.”

“What?” He asked blankly.

No, Michael, he considered that idea. His mind struggled to understand how that would work.

Michael patted him on the shoulder. “If I don’t make it. Just know that it’s been an honour. Knowing and helping you has been the highlight of both my lives.”

“Don’t say that,” Tom said. Wiping his eyes and this time not because of anger.

“It’s the truth, son.”

“I’m not your son. I’m almost older than you.”

“I keep telling you real world experience counts more than the tutorial. Not that it matters. I’ve got thirty years on you, anyway. So I’ll call you son if I want to.”

“And you’re serious that only one of us can get resurrected. You’re not playing a practical joke or something.” From the tone of the GODs meeting, a lack of points to resurrect was a real possibility. As much as he would like to pretend otherwise, he believed the statement.

“That’s my understanding. If they’re not idiots, they’ll select you. I know for a fact that if I get a chance to present my case, I’ll be supporting you.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s about what’s best for humanity. Plus, you deserve a chance at a proper life. You were twenty, for goodness’ sakes.” Michael finished his voice breaking. “Look they’ve just realised no one else is coming.”

Below them, the living. The ones who had completed the trial had realised, the reality, that they were all that was left. They were checking faces and recognition of the losses was spreading like a wave through them. Shocked faces, tears, grief, all the negative emotions were on display.

A “Are you sure they don’t have enough rewards to bring us both back to life?”

Michael waved a hand and a list appeared.

Maximum Total Resurrection Points Available 15.

Cost of individuals

Tom – 14

Phil - 10

Rahmat – 7

Michael – 5

Toni - 4

…

Daisy -2

There was no one with fewer points allocated than two.

“Who’s Daisy?” He asked dumbly.

“One of Jenny’s team. But the question I want answered is why are you so expensive.”

He stared blankly at the number. Fourteen points was implying he was worth two Rahmats or all three of Toni, Michael, and Vidja. He wanted to tell Michael the truth that it was because FAMES was a vindictive bastard, but he held his tongue. It was likely that they were all being watched, and it was not his place to give away DEUS’s secrets. “I’m guessing based on Rahmat it’s my domain plus my titles and presumably DEUS’s Chosen.”

“That’s the name of your Oracle question trait, isn’t it?”

Tom nodded only paying Michael a fraction of his attention.

His heart ached.

Below, Everlyn was crying.

She had run around checking faces and then behind the prize pillars, looking for him and possibly Toni at the same time. She had found neither and the devastation on her face had made his breath catch in his throat.

Clare, of all people had found her and was hugging her. She was whispering low enough that no one could overhear her, but in his immaterial form Tom just had to want to know and he could suddenly hear them clearly.

“I don’t know. I tried to structure everything to keep him alive. He was told to stay clear of the giant, but maybe he didn’t…”

“But how could he die? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Bad luck. At the end of the day that’s what it was.”

“We’re only alive because of what he…”

“I know,” Clare agreed, hugging Everlyn tighter.

“He didn’t deserve to die.

“I know Everlyn, and we tried to keep him alive. I don’t know what happened.”

“A wador killed him.” Selena said quietly from where she hovered nearby, studying an intricate piece of armour.

“How do you know?”

“I saw bits of the battle…” Selena hesitated. “No, that isn’t right. I saw the wador fighting air and then I saw Tom’s mangled body afterwards.”

“A wador?” Clare asked in disbelief. “How could one of them kill him?”

“I would like to know that too.” Michael said beside him. “With the contract hindering them I would have backed you against all four at once.”

“Because they’re sapient and just like we schemed to take out the dragon. They did the same to get me. They planned everything, including a skill to delay the consequences of the contract and…”

He stopped talking. Everlyn had given up sobbing quietly and was breaking down in hysterical wails.

Michael said nothing for a long time. Then he sniffed, shut his eyes, and massaged his brow. “They found a way to cancel your dodge didn’t they.”

Tom nodded.

“Shit.” Michael punched his open palm in frustration. “Fucking hell I should have…”

“What thought of it?” Tom suggested in a slightly mocking tone. “That wasn’t your problem.”

“Yes. I should have thought of it and made you buy counters.”

“No. It wasn’t your responsibility. It’s my build. My fault. And is there actually stuff available? Because that’s kind of heartbreaking.” Given the situation, Tom had no desire to check.

“There are lots of options. It’s an arms race of course. But just like they can get a tier four skill to weaken your dodge you can get a tier five skill to strengthen it to ignore those kinds of manipulations.”

“Really?” He felt his world breaking apart once more. Another critical mistake made by someone who should have known better. He hadn’t had a high-level dodge in the tutorial, so he didn’t know its subtleties as much as some other abilities. But with the setup, DEUS had given them not knowing wasn’t an excuse. The experience shop had been available for him to research. It didn’t sound like what Michael was talking about would have taken much effort. As was usually the way, two separate instants of stupidity was responsible for his death. To be honest, he had built himself into enough of a cockroach that a single mistake wasn’t enough.

Michael caught his gaze. “Tom, don’t blame yourself for this one. You couldn’t have known.”

“Why on Existentia couldn’t I? It’s like two hours of research.”

“More than that… and the options aren’t obvious, and they’re advertised as not being a problem until you are fighting enemies well into their third class.”

“Which we were doing.”

“Yes, but remember Tom, I knew you before True Dreaming got its hooks into you. We could all see it when that skill started impacting you. You lost the energy to plan properly. Which is why we tried to help you select skills. This failure it’s on us, on me. I should have done better.”

There was movement below as everyone was gathered together.

Clare raised a hand to ask for silence. “I’m sure you’ve all seen the rewards you can get, and I would like to remind everyone that we are here to save humanity. While new toys might seem alluring, I would implore that you ask yourself if you having a better set of armour or a new trait or skill is worth more ranking points over eighty years than what we would get from resurrecting someone.” She paused and met the eyes of each of the nine people. “Whatever you were coveting will that make humanity stronger than an extra person aiding us. Now, I want to show of hands of who is willing to put all their points into the resurrection pot.”

There was no discussion about who would be resurrected only that someone would. Gerald, Everlyn and Thor led the charge to put their hands up.

There were only two holdouts and Clare glared at Keikain. “And what’s your reasoning?”

He pointed. “There’s a trait stone that can help with our bloodline.”

“That’s great. We know the name of the trait now and we can both buy it from the shop.”

“It’s not that simple. The trait’s unique. It will not be in the shop, and it might be enough to save my life. It’ll only buy a couple of days, but if we all use fate, that will be enough. For a single point, I can save my life, which is better value than any of the resurrections. At a minimum, a life saved costs two points.”

Clare smiled sadly. “Keikain listen to yourself. There are so many ifs and mights and assumptions there. Plus, do you even have the points to buy it. Didn’t you finish almost last out of us?”

He looked sheepish. “Well, to be honest I was hoping someone could chip in a bit to help me get it. I’ll pay you back like double.”

She shook her head. “No, No. I won’t do that. I won’t sacrifice certain lives for something speculative. Better to guarantee the resurrection of one of us than hope some minor trait is just powerful enough to buy you time.”

“But Clare… this is my chance.”

“No. End of discussion.”

The earth mage nodded. “Fine, I’ll put my points to the pot.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to the last holdout.

Jane stood defiant.

Clare hesitated for a moment. “How many points do you hold, Jane? You were what? Third through the portal?”

“Second.”

“Everlyn?” Clare asked, glancing in her direction.

“I was first.”

Tom was not surprised that Clare had included a safeguard. Of course, she would have wanted one of theirs to get the reward before Jane.

“So you were third.” Clare grimaced. “Which makes your reward points material. I suspect you have enough rewards to resurrect someone outright by yourself.”

Jane said nothing, but her expression told everyone that Clare had hit the nail on the head.

“Would you like to articulate why you think spending these points on yourself rather than others makes sense?”

Selena’s former bodyguard looked left, then right. She was very uncomfortable with the line of the questioning, but Tom guessed that was deliberate on Clare’s part. Finally, she shrugged. “The pedestals wouldn’t be there if we weren’t supposed to spend our credits on them.”

That justification made Tom want to scream at the GODs in frustration.

“I think they’re there to tempt us.” Clare said reasonably, somehow coming to the right conclusion despite lacking any inside knowledge. “But making that determination is the whole point of the discussion. We need to decide whether powering ourselves for the short term is better than having another human gaining ranking points or not.”

“I can buy equipment that’s equivalent to boosting me up ten ranks.”

“But will it still be useful in twenty years’ time or become obsolete when you’re stronger?” Clare asked.

Jane uncomfortably shifted on the spot. “No… but it’ll let me snowball back in Existentia. It might not be useful in twenty years, but I’ll still be much stronger for having got it.”

“That’s bullshit.” Selena interrupted in frustration. “We’re already powerful enough to snowball. Extra people have to be the better choice. I would prefer two fighters than one that’s twenty percent stronger, especially when that equipment bonus is temporary. Actually, this is not a debate we need to have. As the undisputed leader of our squad, I’m ordering you to support the collective effort.”

Jane looked around. She was obviously annoyed with what you saw. “You becoming the undisputed leader because everyone’s dead doesn’t mean anything.”

“I have the votes.”

“Those weighted votes were never intended to be used with just three of us.”

“The rules we signed up to were clear. As were the consequences. When Jenny was forcing us to do stuff that I disagreed with, I was compelled to go along with it because she had the votes. Now I’m saying your decision making is compromised. I’m taking charge and you’ll listen to me. If you don’t contribute to the collective, I’ll court martial you.”

“And what? Declare yourself, judge, jury, and executioner?”

“Yes. If I have to.”

“Why Selena? Why do this now? You would ruin our friendship for them.” She pointed at everyone else. “People you’ll never see again.”

“No. What I’m doing is what’s best for humanity. There’s no reason that forcing you to do your duty has to ruin anything. But if it does, if you think this is worth making us enemies, then I can sleep soundly at night knowing that what I did was for the best.”

“But you’re wrong Selena. What’s best for humanity is to strengthen ourselves.”

“No, that’s Jenny’s stupidity, her self-serving flawed logic infecting you. And you saw where that got her.”

That shut Jane up, and her expression told everyone that she was withdrawing her resistance.

“Are you in Jane?” Clare said quietly, pouncing on the opportunity.

With a pained expression, Jane nodded. “I am… but…” she looked up and caught her leader’s eye. “Selena, I want you to know I’m not doing this because of your threat. My mind is not compromised. We can keep working together and remain friends. And I can absolutely see the strategic advantages of resurrecting someone. But unlike you, I’m not convinced that it’s the best course.” She waved at the prizes surrounding her. “Investing in this would make us powerhouses, but I’m willing to bow my head to the collective wisdom.”

“Thank you,” Clare smiled. “That’s the easy part done. Now, we have to decide who to resurrect.”

She waved.

Two electronic white boards appeared. One had a list of names and their respective costs, which were identical to the list Michael had shared. The other was empty.

“As I see it we have the following choices.”

Three separate circles appeared on the empty whiteboard and words appeared within them.

Tom was in a category of his own. Then there were Michael and Rahmat, plus someone with the cost of three or less and the third circle was filled with the list of all the cheapest humans. Six in total.

The way it was presented made Tom’s stomach clench. If he was given this opportunity, then six other people would be denied the chance to live again. It was sickening, and he did not envy the people below. They were going to feel horrible no matter what they decided.

“Are you glad you’re not down there?” Michael asked quietly as the ten survivors studied what was being displayed. “I wouldn’t want to be part of that.”

“That’s our choice,” Clare told them. “Quality, quantity or something in between. It’s time for everyone to make a case for who gets to live.”

“It’s an unfair situation…” Michael continued.

“You’ve got no idea.” Tom agreed, thinking of why this was even happening. Part of him wished that DEUS had taken responsibility for deciding who to resurrect. No matter what happened everyone involved was going to be emotionally scarred. Being responsible for other people’s lives and deaths was not a pleasant feeling.

“It has to be Tom,” Everlyn blurted out below them. “We need to bring him back.”

“No, the second choice is better.” Gerald proclaimed. “Michael, Rahmat and Usko.”

“If it’s for ranking points then quantity is better,” Jane told them all. “Giving six people a chance to contribute instead of one has to be safer.”

Next to him Michael sighed. “This is going to be a shit show.”


AG.  I really appreciate the support of all you guys but I live in Australia and my writing for the last couple of months has not been making sufficient money to cover expenses and my wife has been forced back to one day per week due to health complications. 

I need to focus on getting Fate Points to the point of making money which is publishing properly.  For the next few months I'm going to be focused on editing Books 3, 4 & 5 to support a rapid release of the first three books as soon as possible. 

I'll still be writing chapters but the weekly word count is likely to drop. Sorry.