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We've made it! 13k words later we have a script!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AmBSAMfLsGNTet3qqTDmRGnVKocUXw00QwGhh6CrRDk/edit

13k words probably doesn't feel like a lot at this point, since the last finished essay was so long ago. True! I actually started this script back on July 4th, which is not long ago at all. I've worked on many projects in the last eight months, but I kept losing steam or coming to the conclusion that I just didn't have anything that interesting to say.

I've got documents started on Zootopia, Ludonarrative Harmony, The Case of the Golden Idol, Signalis, Beastars (the horror of coming of age), "Aggretsuko, Stan, and Why You Don’t Want to Be a YouTuber," "Pathologic is Fun, Actually," "Overwatch Shouldn't Exist" (6k words), Fear and Hunger etc.

I've said this before, but I've had the added uncertainty of knowing that I've likely already peaked. "Legoshi is Gay" was a success on an unfathomable scale, and a deeply personal project on top of that, so I've been struggling conceptualize what a "normal" video looks like, going forward. They can't all be deeply personal, nor three hours long. I'd love to do an hour long video every other month, or something like that. The issue is in deciding what is actually good enough to continue with.

I've also been spending the year becoming increasingly convinced that I have ADHD, so that's fun to juggle. I'm very good at not accomplishing anything all day the moment I step out of my Let's Play environment, which is frustrating. I WISH I could say I was procrastinating by doing fun stuff, but instead it's more like I'm working without working, just losing the day and being mad about it at the end. Cool.

Anyway, more recently I had a video idea about the Myst series that got me excited, and I re-listened to all of the books on audiobook. I feel like that script is going to happen at some point. But a few thousand words in, it was dawning on me how long it's been since the last video, and this project was going to require me to revisit three books and eight games. How long was that going to take?

So I put it on hiatus, opting to write about the comic Plush. It's a horror comic about furries that is clearly written by non-furries, so "I Don’t Think Plush Knows What a Furry Is?" sounded like a quick and easy project that could breathe life back into the channel for a bit while I worked on other stuff. I got 11k words in, hit a point where I hate the script (this usually happens), and ended up watching Black Mirror Season 6. So here we are, a later.

Before you ask, yes, I did also get sidetracked by another project in the middle of Black Mirror, too. I've got over 3k words written about Before You Depart, but after a couple days I forced myself to get back on finishing Black Mirror.

So here it is! I hope at least some of it is interesting. I'm gonna not look at it for about a week, then come back and incorporate feedback as I also re-read and revise it. At that stage I look for unstated assumptions (gaps in the logical flow) while also rephrasing sentences so that they read better aloud, as a favor to my future self. I might finish the Plush script in the meantime, since it's pretty far along, and have two videos to film and edit. BYD should also be a nice short project. Surely I can't hit 10k words on that one, right?

I really need to think of a title for this video.

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Comments

seyren

I can't help with most of these essay topics, but I am looking forward to the eventual Myst video (still have all the novel paperbacks on my shelf). On the topic of ADHD, best of luck navigating all that. I've had my ADHD dx for roughly a decade now, but I'm currently on a similar journey into neurodivergence wrt Autism Spectrum Disorder. While I'm still on a waiting list for official diagnostics it's already been quite helpful in reframing and making sense of a lot of things in my life and subsequently developing better coping mechanisms (I've found some ASD YTers to be quite helpful in this, both with being relatable af and in pointing out some of the challenges and what helps them deal with those). So I hope that similarly, in the long run this will be a good development for you (just one example out of many: developing more kindness towards yourself for those times when the ADHD brain messes with your work flow). Brains are cool, but some of the dumb stunts they pull on us can be a real pain ^^

Remus Wolfram

Try not to fret too much or worry about 'peaking' or forcing on some sort of mask. I know that is a tall order, to not focus on a mountain of very real anxiety and ADHD concerns to go with it, but I would think many of your viewers will be happy with whatever project you pick up and hammer away at. Be it essays, games, a podcast episode or a bit of meandering fun with friends, we come for your ideas, takes and overall vibe. Keep at it and don't forget to care for yourself.