Revision Notes (Patreon)

Writathon is winding down and although I’ve realized that I won’t make the 55K word count goal, I’m still pleased with my output in April. I wrote more than 30K words. But realizing I had no chance of writing the remainder required in the amount of time left allowed me to reflect on a few chapters.

Revision note #1: I’ve revised the Badass Tiger Guard Dog chapter so that Logan thinks about Asthea in a positive light. I realized that his negatively didn’t make sense considering what she’d done for him in the previous chapters. The structure of the chapter is the same. https://www.patreon.com/posts/chapter-65-tiger-101265108

Revision note #2: The Bug Chapters! Reading it back after enough time passed made me realize that Logan’s viciousness wasn’t consistent with his character. To make it work, I basically had to write another chapter, so everything has gone up a chapter in comparison. It might be worth a read, since there’s new content here. https://www.patreon.com/posts/chapter-69-meat-101969493

If you’d prefer not to read:

Logan attempts to divert the insects to the opposite side of the room, sending the insects an image of a pile of meat. That lasts for a while, but then they push back when they realize there’s no meat to be found. Instead of continuing and forcing insect torture on the others, Logan tries to concede. However, this time, the System won’t let anyone concede. They’re forced to continue.

To avoid Asthea pain, he asks Arsen if he can direct the insects his way. Arsen agrees. That means that Logan has admitted that he has a pretty major skill.

After a point, Asthea can’t take watching it anymore, and she pulls out a crossbow and kills Arsen. A mercy kill.

Logan then directs the insects to himself rather than Asthea until the System eventually lets them out.

These changes mean that Arsen and Asthea will view Logan in a softer light. I’m revising chapters 71 – 76 to work in that factor, although I don’t foresee any major changes.

Thanks all!