hi guys <3 (Patreon)

This one is going to be a bit of a longer one so the tldr is at the bottom for those of you who are interested in the gist of it.

To put things bluntly, I have been having a pretty awful couple of weeks. As I am closing out the end of my semester, I have been the most busy I have ever probably been in my life. I am in my senior year of university, a full time student, plus I work another job outside what lovely contributions you guys give to me. When I tell you I have had enough time and energy to make exactly two short(er) videos since I got my new recording setup, I'm not joking.

I also, unfortunately, deal with some pretty serious mental health problems. When I initially began my channel in October, it was when I was coming out of the worst mental health breakdown I had ever had, and I was looking for something to bring me joy but also keep my mind off of things I didn't want to focus on. I go through a lot of ups and downs, which is also often why I say something is going to happen, and then I forget, or it has to be pushed back because a bad day hits.

All this to say: the combination of having to try to figure out an entire new computer in the middle of the busiest time of my life while also feeling unending amounts of guilt for missing uploads and letting you guys down? Doesn't lend itself well to mental health and productivity in general, and I can already feel myself spiraling a bit into what I had similarly experienced last fall. Which, obviously, is scary and not something I want attached to something I enjoy as much as I enjoy sharing my reactions to you all.

So, as much as I am beating myself up for this too, I am going to take a bit more time to try and pick myself up from this downwards spiral. I am the most sorry I have ever been that I have to ask you to sit and wait a bit more for my brain to work properly and for me to have enough time in my day to be able to even sit down in front of a camera, but I hope you understand. I'm hoping to be able to record on Wednesday, the next day I won't be out of the house for over 13 hours straight, but I will keep you updated on any changes. I promise I will catch up on the videos missed, one way or another. Once the semester is finished that will be easier for me as well :]

I've also had a plan for my 1000 subscriber milestone for a while for you guys, and once I am free from the shackles of school hopefully I can start to roll that out as well. Just need to get back to a nice consistency first.

Thank you for reading if you did, and thank you for staying with me if you do. 

tldr: my brain is mean and the universe is actively fighting against me, and I need a bit more time to make it better and to create videos for all of you. uploads should resume mid to late next week, and the most apologies I can give for making everyone wait. thank you for sticking by me. <3