So, Uh, Yeah. (Patreon)

If you've been following my stuff for a while, you've probably noticed that I've changed some things on my socials over the weekend.

The tl;dr of it is: for all intents and purposes, I am Kiyone, and Kiyone is me. Please refer to me by she/her, and by the name Kiyone, or Kee for short. 

I won't get upset if some folks occasionally call me Demo or refer to me by he/him pronouns; after all, DemoWeasel is the name that I've become most well known by thanks to all the icons commissioned by wonderful customers over the years, though I do ask that folks try to get used to the new default. This is something that I expect will take some time for folks to adjust to, but I'm a pretty patient and understanding person, and I will generally grant a lot of leeway (as long as it's all in good faith, of course).

Peter Steiner, The New Yorker

I've been in a bit of a rut with my art lately, and drawing my own stuff has helped me sort of start slowly working my way out of it. Specifically, drawing my spy vixen Kiyone (self-given codename: Scarlet) has done the majority of the heavy lifting in making me feel better.

Whenever I felt the urge to draw something for myself, I'd default to drawing her. Something about it just made me feel good in a way that I'd been missing with art in a long time.

Fast-forward to this past Friday, I was looking over the stuff I'd drawn recently, and I ended up having an intense emotional reaction to my drawings and coming to the realization that, well...

I am Kiyone, and Kiyone is me.

Kinda fucked up but still kicken ass

To put it in a more high-falutin' sense, I saw my soul in her. 

When people think of me, I want them to picture me as her, since the truth is that we are one and the same.

All of my characters have a little bit of me in them, for sure, but I haven't ever had such a strong emotional response to any of them as I have had with Kiyone.

Art by @The_Galactabee on Twitter

I spoke with some close friends and my partner about this. It doesn't even really particularly feel like solely a gender thing, nor does it feel like it involves being a plural system. 

Being perceived and treated as her feels very soothing and comfortable in a way that is natural to me. Costuming as her, casually role-playing as her, drawing her; all of it has made me feel so good.

It's me!

It feels like this has been a long time coming, honestly. Kiyone's been around for at least 15 years by now and has gone through about as many changes as I have. For quite some time now, I've been getting commissions of myself and my partner together in casual or domestic scenarios, and in them, I'm always Kiyone. Hell, before I was even with my partner, I would get art of myself hanging out with friends as Kiyone.

I doubt this was a mistake.

Art by @ferretface on Twitter

Something folks might not know is that Kenji, Kiyone's twin brother, came about a good while after she first appeared. Hindsight tells me, "Oh, you wanted a socially acceptable way to express yourself as this fox girl within your assigned gender, so you made a character nearly identical to her that would let you do that." I'm not going to say that's an incorrect reading of it, so... good job, subconscious!

The first ever Kenji drawing, cropped for innocent eyes.

There have been a lot of tears and emotional conversations since this revelation, but I think all of them have been had for the better. 

I guess if I had to slap a label on myself, non-binary feels the most accurate. 

I’m okay with not being seen as Kiyone by meatspace randos and family and the like, because I don't necessarily feel the desire to be affirmed by them in this fashion. I am a cute animal girl, and I don’t really have much of a longing to see a version of my meatspace self that is female.

Among friends, whether online or in meatspace (and really, as far as anyone on the internet is concerned) I am Kiyone, a friendly, feisty fox girl who isn't the best at what she does, but is certainly trying with all her might.

So... Hey there! I'm Kiyone, and it's nice to meet you.

Art by @art_sponge on Twitter

Au revoir~