Cursed Mead (Patreon)

Astarion: Shadowheart, dear do please watch your drink you almost ruined my new coat!

Shadowheart: Pfft. Your new coat? Didn't you just steal that off a dead body we just looted on the way here, Astarion?

Astarion: What can I say? The corpse had amazing taste. Besides, was I to let it go to waste just because our lovely companion Karlach killed him after all?

Karlach: “Hey! How was I to know he'd run into my beauty of a weapon?”

Shadowheart: He ran into your weapon 17 times.

Karlach: Man loves cardio, that's all I'm hearing.

Astarion: Assumptions and accusations aside, this is a nice coat and I would like to keep your spirits off of it! While it looks like you, dear ladies, don't appear to be wanting to keep your grab on at all.

Shadowheart: What did you just say to me? Are you calling me no better than a streetwalker!?

Karlach:I've killed for less, and enjoyed ever second of it in the process, so I would watch that tounge of yours unless you'd like to see it cut out of you.

Astarion: Ladies, do not misinterpret me. I am just pointing out to you that while you be arguing over who killed what and why, your clothes seem to be slipping right off of you.

Shadowheart: You best not be asking to neak a peak at my bits.

Karlach: I'll show you my bits if you think you can handle them, they are the biggest in all the land.

Astarion: I'm seeing that those bits are getting smaller and smaller even as I speak.

Karlach: I did not think you drank little one.

Astarion: I do not.

Shadowheart: And yet you want to risk your livelyhood by insinuating that we be no better at dressing ourselves than common street women.

Astarion: I mean to inform you that your clothes are falling off of your body even as I speak. It seems as if you are getting smaller.

Karlach, Small?  I am anything but small, you and everyone here must look up to me.

Shadowheart: EEP! My dress!

Karlach: GASP! My coverings as well!

Astarion: oh my!  Your tits!

Both Ladies: stop staring!

Astarion: It seems as if my penchant for staying off the booze pays off, seems like you've been drinking the curs-ed Mead:

Shadowheart: Cursed mead, What devilry is this?

Karlach: my kind had nothing to do with this.

Astarion: It appears as if you may have caught the eye of the giant bartender over there, especially you dear Karlach. Why look his cock do arisen at the sight of your shrunken form.

Karlach, first I'll satisfy it, then I'll cut it off so I can play with it whenever I like.

Astarion: and what of you Lovely Shadowheart?

I'm still trying to figure out how much smaller we're going to get, but I'm also naked!  AGH! Don't look at me!