Random sketches (Patreon)

I tend to just use one file and make another layer rather that start a new file. It's not a very good system because it makes things very difficult to find.  I would post higher res versions of these, but I can't figure out what file I drew them in.  I just used the screen capture to get these rather than saving from the file.  Someday I may run across the originals again, but for now this is all I have to share.  I was thinking of using them to test out vector pens, but I wasted a lot of time searching.  

Grandpa got over being sick and is doing well in the assisted living place now.  They have him doing physical therapy and whatnot.  Mom seemed pleased by the results.  

I'm still not "right".  It's hard to explain exactly what's wrong, but I know my head isn't working properly.  My creativity is stunted somehow.  It's not like depression.  I know what that's like.  It's something different.  I still don't feel like I'm sleeping when I sleep.  I just stop being aware then I'm suddenly awake again.  It's like I'm not getting repaired when I sleep anymore.  

I don't know...  You aren't paying me to complain about my phantom ailments, so I'll give it a rest.  

Now that the holidays are approaching I have no idea what the hell things are going to be like.  I kind of felt like maybe we were just done with them now that grandma has passed, but who knows.  Most of my family didn't acknowledge my presence at the wedding.  For all I know I wouldn't be welcome if they did do anything.  Part of me hopes I'm not.  Since no one tells me anything and I cut everyone off on social media over grandpa I don't know what the holidays are for me anymore.  If they're anything at all.    I may get dragged into something new or just sit here in my room and keep trying to put my life back in some kind of order.  You guys would probably be shocked if I showed you pictures of my areas.  It's still a total disaster even after getting rid of that cursed bed.  Getting sick, hurting myself, emptying my grandparent's house, and the wedding, screwed up my progress.  

Anyway, I guess it is what it is.  I'll just keep doing what I can.  Maybe someday it will be my turn to be happyagain.