Black Velvet (40) (Patreon)

(A/N: I know which scene the original readers may think is coming after this scene, but it isn’t anymore, so don’t be upset with me 😭 That scene will come later... I’ve pushed out the more overtly sexual scenes to make way for romantic/growth scenes first because I want my babes to experience love first!

Also, I’m working on the next WICKED BOY/Darling chapter right now, I’m only putting this chapter up of BV so you have something to read in the meantime. I’ve been juggling appointments for my daughter this week and work and it’s been hectic. I promise those chapters are coming!)

—

At some point, the lights flicker off.

Halloween noises filter through the speakers on either side of the room.  It's still marginally well-lit, glowsticks lining the furniture, but it's an effort to navigate.

A considerable effort, especially when near tears.

I blink them away quickly.

"Excuse me,"  I take the plastic hoop and push through the crowd in front of me, hoping for a quieter area with less familiar faces, or maybe a massive fan of Galaxy Geeks, or any sort of lack of interaction that can quell the sinking of my stomach. "Pardon me."

Why did that hurt?

Why did it hurt?

"Oliver."  It's Tobias. I know it is, but I can't help but pretend I didn't hear him at all.   "Oliver."

I can't hear you. No. I can't see you — the music is too loud, too many people are talking, a girl kissed your cheek, and I just hurt my only friend.

It's an unwelcome mantra, and I blink hard as the Halloween lights flicker from orange and back to red, the loudness that was fine a few minutes before grating every nerve in my body.

I keep working towards the vacancy of the backyard.

I almost reach it. I even almost think Tobias has given up — that is, until he delivers a sharp tug to my hula hoop, sending me barreling back against the plastic and his chest.

"You trying to avoid me, or are you stalking me?"  He's not whispering, I wouldn't be able to hear him if he was, but his head is cocked right by my ear, enough to have his breath on my skin. "'Cause I don't think you know either."

"I wasn't staring."  I try to roll my shoulders against his chest, an attempt to increase the distance between us, but there's a gathering of half-naked animal women right in front of me, fuck,  "Um. I mean, stalking."

I can feel Tobias' cheek fall against my own, can see his fingers curling around either side of the hoop,

"Don't cry," he whispers. It's barely audible, but my stomach flips.  I wipe at my eyes hurriedly with the back of my hands,

"It's the noise,"  I say.  But it's a lie.  "...And the lights."

"...What are you supposed to be?"  Tobias' grip on the hoop is firm, has me flush against his front in the dark.  I tilt my head to the side, away from his lips that graze my ear when he speaks.

"Saturn," I swallow the butterflies that have worked their way up through my throat, altering my voice. I motion to the hula in both of our hands,  "Saturn's ring, get it?"

Tobias laughs, actually laughs — deep and low, turning my head.  I can smell raspberry Bacardi and mint in the same breath. I can feel the vibration of his happiness through my back,

"Clever."

I try to turn myself around, stuck in the plastic contraption, but find myself now plastered to the man's front.  He pushes the hula back, back again, somehow steering us out the open back door without any odd look cast our way.

My shoulders hit the brick exterior wall. It's quieter, vacant, and the moon is hidden behind high treetops.

For some reason, it feels easier to breathe.

"Better?"

I inhale, exhale, inhale again, and nod.

"... So, what do you want?"  Tobias' is looming, strong hands still looped around the hula hoop like a vice. He scans my face, cocks his head,

"What?"

"Do you want to go back and comfort Charlie-Anne... Or do you want me to tell you to comfort me instead?"

I blush, nothing forming past tangled thoughts.

"...You don't know what you want, do you?" Tobias hasn't stopped watching me.  The relaxed set of his shoulders is the only indication that he's drunk. He takes my silence as an answer. "... Do you at least know who you want?"

"I do."

"Then why did you push?  Huh?" Tobias is smiling, but it's false. He's been waiting to ask this question; it would be too abrupt if he hadn't been, "Or hold my hand and then cling onto someone else?"

"No, that's not it..." I think of Charlie-Anne, her eyes clouded with tears, hands cupping each other for comfort, and my stomach twirls nastily, "you've got it wrong."

"Then what was it..?" He touches the hoop, "Was it too much — what I said?" His dimples show as he laughs, low and thick. "What I wanted?  ...Was it fucked up?"

You want it to be.

"It wasn't." My voice is firm, so firm that it surprises me. Tobias looks down at me, dark lashes shielding the majority of his eyes, "I want more than that. From you — so it wasn't."

"From me?"

I suddenly understand what this is.  It's insecurity.  It's childish jealousy — but it's exactly what I felt moments before.

"From you,"  I say this with even more confidence.  It's what we both need.  "Not Charlie-Anne.  I want it from you.  I probably — want more than you do."

Tobias' surprise is hidden quickly.

"You can't want more than I do."

"I do."

"Yeah?"  He glances away.  "What about this part of me? ...The parts like this?"

"I like every part of you."  It startles me like most of my ferocious word vomit does. Tobias' gaze lowers to meet mine, and he lifts the hoop, sliding himself inside, gaze steady and assessing. I press on. "Every part that I've seen — I've liked.  And... I didn't like it.  I didn't like when that girl kissed your cheek.  So.  I understand that you're uncomfortable right now.  But.  I don't feel that way.  Not about Charlie-Anne."

"... Is that right?"

"What are you doing?"

His legs are touching mine, the width of the hoop calling for close contact. He observes the hoop around us, one that looks silver under the nearby porch-light. We're mostly still hidden in the dark — but that one silver strand of hoop reflects brightly.

"Are you Saturn now?" Tobias slips his hands over the plastic. His eyes meet mine, and I can't tell if they're tired or hopeful — or everything all at once, "are you really Saturn? ...Or are we binary stars?"

"I thought you,"  my corduroys slide against the rough fabric of his black jeans, binary stars. There's a flutter in my heart, something rabbit-like and soaring,  "I thought you were a serial killer."

Tobias chuckles genuinely, sliding the hoop into my hands — his own making their way to the edges of my hips.  He gives them an experimental push backward, against the wall,

"Binary stars,"  he chuckles, head bent next to mine, "we're always orbiting each other."  His thumbs are under my shirt, on my skin.   I suck in a ragged breath, and his eyes lower to meet mine. "Or am I the ring around Saturn?"

"Saturn's ring is countless particles —"

"All drawn right to you. Does this turn you on?"  he smirks in a lopsided, inquiring way, drunken and open. "or would it be the same if I just said that I want to kiss you?"

I startle, and everything in me in that moment just wants.  I realize that's one thing that I never knew — I want Tobias to kiss me. I want that. Suddenly it's all I can think about, head dizzy with it.

"I can't kiss you. You're drunk — and... Someone's going to see us." I squirm, tugging my lower half from his grip, "they're going to get the wrong idea."  My words jump with a sudden flex of his fingers, a shocked gasp cutting me off, eyelids heavy with the touch. "It would be bad for you."

"Yeah?" Tobias whispers. He watches my lips for a second before he continues, "... What do you mean, the wrong idea?"   The man's arms are bracketing me in now, elbows bent to shield my face from passersby.  His lips are close to mine, one arm slackening to tilt my chin upwards,  "bad for me?"

"I mean the wrong idea.  They could..."

They could what?

"Do you think they'd get the wrong idea about anything? Seems pretty clear to me."

"Tobias."

He laughs again, but this time lower, gravel, black sand,

"I shouldn't have said what I said last night,"  Tobias is stepping back, hands still on me. He looks just a bit unguarded, stripped under the influence of alcohol. "Or held your hand today.  Or wanted to kiss you. I did, though. Why do I do that with you — why do I become less?"

"I don't know."  I swallow. Tobias' eyes are dark, chasing the movement of my Adam's Apple. "Is it less? It feels like more — like you're more."

He makes a soft, frustrated noise, body slinking close enough to hide his expression.

"You kept saying things,"  his thumb drags a rough swipe over my hipbone and up my stomach, "like wanting to make me happy. Then I realize how I'm not. I'm not happy."

"I know," I breathe out, trying to find the will to drag my hips from his. He pushes his forward instead, interlocking me between him and the exterior wall. "But I'll keep saying it because I want to. I still do."

"You should stop,"  he's humming out a low sound — I can feel it on my neck, and everything is new with his skin against mine, "we should. What if I hurt you?"

"Would you?"

Tobias backs up then, gracefully unhooping himself.

It's over.

"I think so." He says, carefully building a wall between us.

"Then why don't you stay away?"

"...Because you're Saturn." Tobias smiles, and maybe it's meant to be a joke — but it doesn't feel like one.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, feel the warmth on my cheeks. His retreating form is nearly back inside before I can muster up my voice,

"Wait."  He pauses long enough to look over his shoulder, "I'm your designated driver too, right?" I lick my lips because suddenly they feel dry, "I mean...  You're staying with Nic tonight?"

Tobias nods, and I bubble with some kind of longing to be near him again,

"If you need me — or to talk," I can't look at him, so I look at the brightest star in my view, although it feels just the same, "my door doesn't lock. I'm always here."

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