45 - Epilogue [T1] (Patreon)

45.

I was mashed. Decision fatigue. Overstimulation. Too much football. Too much progress.

Or maybe just too much champagne.

Emma took the car keys and I fell into the passenger seat.

She concentrated until we got onto the M56. Those ten minutes were good for me. Regenerative.

My car's heating was having one of those days when it didn't want to work too hard. Emma had her Broughton beanie on. Blonde hair poked out. She pushed a few strands away and glanced at me. "Sometimes I really like you," she said. I smiled and waited for her to explain. She didn't. That was top.

***

A while later, the conversation resumed.

"So," she said. "You lost."

"I did?"

"You said the biggest win would be if you never had to set foot in Chester again."

"Yeah," I said, with a smile. "I did say that. Feels like a win, though. I've finally got a job where I can make a difference. Do things my way."

"I'm glad."

"If it works out."

"What?"

I leaned forward, then squirmed back. I felt guilty. I had to tell her my secret. I'm sure I had a cheeky grin on my face. "After the whole, you know, scene... MD came over. A bit sheepishly. The idea of me racing off to Telford made him speak out of turn. Jump the gun. He said there was one minor hurdle. Little more than a technicality. But since he's creating a new position, it'll need to be approved by the owners. That's the fans. He'll have to get the Board on board."

"The board on board?"

"No, the Board. Capital b. The Board comprises seven fans. Members. They oversee Mike Dean. I'll have to meet them and charm them."

"Oh."

"I know one of the seven. No chance that prick'll vote for me. But there's no reason the others won't. I'm a million-pound player and all that. Also, not many people know this, Emma, but I can be quite charming. Anyway, if I can't persuade four fans that I know what I'm doing, none of this would work anyway."

Her fingers twitched on the steering wheel. "One thing I didn't like. Are you really going to kick those two kids out?"

"No. Not right away. They're Chester fans. I'll give them a chance. When I said that, I was testing MD. How far's he willing to go? His limit is somewhere between cutting two kids and firing a failing manager. That's fine... for now. But look. In this job I'll have to do some shitty things to good people."

"And what about Darlington?"

"I'll stay for the time being. Once I've met the Board and they've made their decision I'll tell Cutter." That didn't sound right. "Or maybe I should talk to him already in case word leaks out."

"That would be the mature thing to do."

I glanced at her. Tried to read her lips. "Do you think I'm immature?"

"I think you're more mature than most 22-year-old men."

That pleased me. It was days until I realised she'd tricked me into thinking it was a compliment.

She shifted gear, literally and conversationally. "What was the last thing that helped you make your mind up? It wasn't managing a girl's team."

I frowned. "It was you and Gemma."

"The fact that we'll be able to do double dates all the time?"

"No, I don't mean that. But that might be nice. In moderation... No, I was thinking of your relationship. You're such good friends. I don't have that. I don't have a real friend."

Emma opened her mouth, but chose to keep her thoughts to herself.

"As Director of Football, I might have to fine Henri. One day I'll sell Raffi. I might decide the whole club has to play 4-3-3 and that'll be the end of Aff. I'll be a fucking non-stop pain in the arse for Mike Dean. Do you get what I'm saying? There's no way I'll still be friends with all these guys when I'm an old man." I rubbed my hands together and studied the folds in my skin. Being an old man was many years away. "But one. I can save football and have one friend, right?"

"What did you say?"

"I can save Chester and have one friend, can't I?"

"Of course you can. Why not?"

I thought about it. About my failings as a person. "Oh..."

"What?"

"I forgot to give Shona her Tupperware. Fucking hell, Max."

She patted my hand. "I did it."

"You did? Wow." My little moment of melancholy was gone. I smiled at her. "Sometimes I really like you."

***

I opened my cursemail.

Quadrennial Assigned TINO Accumulator/Reducer

VERSION COPA MUNDIAL

-- COMPLETED --

TINOs gained: 3728

Converting TINOs into Experience Points...

At the bottom of my vision was a loading bar. As it progressed, sometimes quickly, sometimes not at all, the curse told me what it was working on.

Assessing multipliers...

Adding World Cup final victory bonus.

Minutes watched bonus... applied.

Entertainment bonus... applied.

Funky formation bonus... denied.

TINOs spotted... majority.

TINOs celebrated... most.

Applying deduction for lack of interest in the third-place playoff.

Applying penalty for mocking the fashion choices of talented FIFA executives.

Processing...

The loading bar hit 99% and stayed there for ages. I thought it had crashed. Would it stay in my vision forever? How could I reboot it? Turn myself off and on?

The wait gave me time to reflect on the whole MUNDIAL farce. I'd watched most of the matches from Qatar and answered trivia questions or managed the teams. Why? Obviously it was a test. But a test of what? What was it preparing me for? Had it all been worth it?

Process complete.

Your multiplier: one.

Converting TINOs into Experience Points.

You have been awarded: 3728 experience points.

Your XP balance: 4465

Thank you for playing COPA MUNDIAL.

***

I'd have earned more by going to watch park football instead of doing the MUNDIAL thing. But somehow the time spent didn't seem like a waste. In a way I couldn't put my finger on, I felt more complete.

One thought that had been nagging at me was the timing of the perk. It had arrived when I was talking to James, and I'd spent more time with him than I'd planned. I'd also spent more time with Longstaff and Junior. I'd reconnected with Jackie and had an excuse to call Henri when I suspected he was feeling down. I could have done all that without the mini game, but I wouldn't have. It had given me a little shove in the direction of connection.

And the effort had earned me some XP.

Time for some retail therapy! I went to the curse shop and saw all the things I had available - formations, statistics upgrades, attributes, and the mysterious perk called Playdar.

I exited the shop and blinked - the entire Mundial interface was gone.

That saddened me in some small way. It had been a big part of my life and now it was just... not there.

I shook it off. Things change. So, what to buy? The formation I would use with the women's team depended on which players I could find, but I'd almost certainly start with 4-4-2. Loading up on new formations could wait a few weeks.

As DoF, I'd surely be able to get access to real-life scouting data, maybe even a subscription to that scouting platform paid for by the club. Which lessened the benefit of buying a statistics upgrade.

One thing was for sure: I'd get a lot of use out of any attribute perks I bought. That was a slam-dunk investment.

But what of Playdar? I read and re-read the description.

Playdar. 8,000 XP. This perk directs you to the most talented footballer not in your database who is currently playing football within a certain radius. Can be upgraded.

I hated when the curse was vague like this. Certain radius? Could mean anything. Most talented? Did that mean CA or PA? There was only one way to find out, really, and that was to buy it.

I expected I'd be underwhelmed at first, have a major case of buyer's remorse. Then over time I'd realise it was a top perk and be thankful I bought it.

There were two major factors in this decision. One was the fact that I was over halfway to being able to afford it. I wasn't sure I'd be able to save up for months to buy it without buying every formation and attribute perk as soon as I could afford them. So it was sort of a now or never situation. Two, as DoF I'd be immersed in football and XP would surely come thick and fast. Especially if I paused my playing career for the rest of this season. That would free up two match days a week. I wondered if a Director of Football would get free tickets to watch Newcastle? Probably, right? So that would be 630 XP.

I'd mostly made my mind up, but then remembered I had an assistant.

"Emma. If you were me, you'd need to scout loads of players, right? I'll be scouting an entire squad of women."

"That seems like a zany 1990s comedy."

"And I'll be looking at loads of boys to restock the youth teams. And the men's team have a couple of weak spots. Could use a left-back. And so on, right? So imagine I had money for an assistant. Would I want him to be able to find hot prospects, or to give me more detailed info about individual players?"

"I don't get it."

"Let's say he was with us this morning watching Chester. Option one. He'd point to Tyson and say 'he's the best one'. Or option two. He'd point to Henk and say 'he's got good passing but bad leadership'. That's... that's the choice."

She pushed her bottom lip out. "But that's not hard, is it? The first one. Find the best players. You need to find lots, quickly. They're all going to have flaws, aren't they? If Henk has bad leadership, does that mean you wouldn't sign him? Doesn't it simply mean you wouldn't make him captain?"

Yeah. That seemed right. Buying Playdar was risky compared to unlocking attributes, but I was more than halfway there, and the payoff was potentially much greater. I fancied a quick break from football, but then I'd be grinding hard. Playdar was too intriguing not to aim for.

I closed the shop.

***

I got a text. "Babes. What is FWIW?"

"For what it's worth."

"Ah."

Jackie: FWIW I think you made the right choice. Chester's lucky to have you.

That was nice. Thoughtful.

"BTW is by the way, right?"

"Right."

Jackie: BTW. Now that I think about it, it's good Ziggy didn't sign for FC United long-term. You'll be able to bring him to Chester next season. And James. The next manager's going to have a decent team. Isn't he?

There was no smiley face. No party horn emoji. But I felt him smirking at me.

"That fuck!" I said, slapping the dashboard. Emma's eyes widened and the car slowed a little. "Sorry," I said. "I'm calm. It's all good. I just realised I've been played. And how I've been played. And who MD has got lined up to be the next Chester manager."

"Oh," she said, worried. "Is it bad?"

"No," I said. "It's top." I realised what it all meant and let out a tiny, orgasmic groan. "Oh! With him in charge, we'll win the league next season. For sure. He gets it. Oh, that was the only cloud on the horizon. Now it's gone. Whoo! Yeah, we'll win and he'll develop my players. Oh, fuck. To think I nearly went to Telford. This is much better." Suddenly I was laughing. Laughing hard.

"What?" said Emma, laughing because I was.

"It's all top, but the toppest of all? I'll be his boss."

***

I finished wiping the joy from my eyes and sighed. "Best day ever," I said.

I sensed Emma doing something weird with her face, but by the time I turned, she was normal. "Maybe now's a good time to ask, then."

"Oh, shit."

She smiled. "Nothing bad. I understand if it's too early for you but... do you want to come to Christmas dinner? With my mum and dad."

For some reason I thought of Beth. When we'd started our fling or whatever the word for it was, I'd been scared she'd get clingy. I was afraid of commitment, big time. If she'd invited me to meet her parents I would have run a mile. Now, I was more alive. More social. More willing to meet people. To connect. "Like a real boy."

"What?"

"I didn't say anything. Um... yes. Let's do it. I'd like to meet your dad."

"You already have."

That was a thinker. Of course I hadn't. "Oh!" I imploded into a tiny ball of shame. "Your knight in shining armour. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you were pretending not to get it. I thought it was a weird prank."

An older guy who'd paid her way through university. Duh! "Fuck me. That's the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"I doubt it. Well, great. Christmas with Max Best. I'll let them know!"

A road sign showed the distance until Manchester. We'd drive around and head to Leeds, then turn towards Darlo. "Hey, since we're doing family Christmas and stuff. And seeing as Manchester's right there..." I double-checked I wanted to finish the thought. I did. "Let's go see my mum."

"Oh! Yes! Of course. But it's Sunday night. Will they let you in? Don't they have rules about visiting times?"

"Emma," I said. "I'm a 22-year-old Director of Football." I leaned back, looked out of the window at the world I was about to conquer. "I make my own rules."

***

End of Book 2

***

Senior Management Stats

None

Your Status

Your Reputation in England: Unknown

Your World Reputation: Unknown

XP: 4465

Playing Stats

Darlington FC 22/23

Squad number: 77

Appearances: 5 starts, 2 matches as sub

Goals: 9

Assists: 3

Man of the Match awards: 4

Yellow cards: 0

Red cards: 0

Average rating out of 10 (as estimated by Max Best): 11

...

Book 2 CTRL-S CTRL-P woot party!

Absolutely would not have happened without your support. Thanks a million!

Did I forget anything for the final scenes? The Brad disaster is yet to come. That's not forgotten. Any open threads annoying you that I should consider closing?

Also, I completely lost track of the real-life Darlo vs Chester match. I was going to do a watchalong. Anyway, it was April 1st so maybe you'd have thought it was a prank. There seems to be a good chance both teams will get to the playoffs. There could be a Chester vs Darlo match to see who gets promoted! Epic!