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<rubbershark> 13p (Patreon)

Published:
2021-11-05 16:40:05
Edited:
2022-04-10 12:33:44
Imported:

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Criminal shark 


Big thanks to Euphemural for Spanish translation!

Big thanks to Laviner for Chinese translation!

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Comments

Russell Benton

EN Translation. "But if you stay obedient" Or "But if you'll be obedient"

No1isHere

One little fix could be "I will stop selling fake milk" Instead of "I will stop to selling fake milk"

Anonymous

Rewrite of the flow/script for clarity and tone: "Is this because of what I've been doing? I will stop selling fake milk... and stop touching other people... I will be... nice..." "I don't care what you have done out there. I only care what you will do for me." "And when you are obedient, I will let you out." "Until then... you are mine."

Anonymous

My rewrite has a more domineering flow to it. For instance, instead of offering the 'but if you obey' as a bargain, he is saying 'and when you obey', which implies that he is stating that there is only one path he considers possible.