2020 wrap-up and thank you — it was the best of times, it was the worst of times (Patreon)

2020 was somehow the longest shortest year I have ever experienced, but I wanted to take a little bit of time to explain just how vital you all are to the way my life works, and how you have fit in with those ups and downs — financially and personally. 

The pandemic has dominated this year, but I am fortunate enough that my job actually wasn't affected a huge amount. New Zealand dealt with it pretty well with a hard three month lockdown before it got out of control. Everyone had to work from home or, in some cases, not work at all. During that time, my job was able to continue unimpeded. It is true that ad rates on YouTube went down during this period, meaning my income from YouTube was drastically lower in those months. Patreon, however, remained steady, stable, but again, I reiterate that I would not want anyone putting themselves out to support me when they have more dire things to take care of. 

2020 was a momentous year in another way, too. My girlfriend Laura and I moved into the house she designed for us — literally the day of the lockdown. Within 24 hours we had to organise insurance, power, a moving truck, moving itself, internet, and for the duration of those three months of lockdown, we had no real carpet in our house. It was an experience, but having my own space, an office that was truly my own for the first time really did make this job feel more real. It made it easier too. 

It's hard to underestimate the importance of physical space when you work at home. A space where you work, a space where you don't work, and a space that helps you work. I finally really had that. Prior, we lived in a tiny flat with a tiny kitchen and I worked in a tiny office. Space alleviates the immensity of cramped corners and tiny rooms, which when you are there all day everyday, can feel oppressive. 

Throughout this year of economic tumult, your financial support has meant I have not needed to worry the way that so many others who do so many more important things that I do have had to. Necessarily, moving into our own place means Laura and I now share a mortgage! Yes, we are ensnared by death bondage. Having a patreon behind me like you all has made planning for that so much easier and less stressful. 

You will also see in the graph attached in the images above that the viewership of the channel has had its ups and downs. This is a different kind of health I need to be aware of, a different kind of emotional tax, I suppose. When The Last Airbender hit Netflix, my channel received a massive boost, but it has been demoralising to see my channel reach its lowest point in a year and a half over the last few months, with every month being less successful than the last.

Yet, I do know why this has happened. Patreon is connected to it too. See, YouTube is a Darwinian ecosystem: cruel in what it casts aside, the survivors being the fittest, but not necessarily the kindest or most valuable. Patreon is a parachute in this sense. It allows me to do videos like Everything You Love Will Die and The Last of Us Part II that may not satisfy the insatiable hunger of the algorithm but are more personally fulfilling to me. I can allow for videos to be less successful in views and more aimed at doing things that I enjoy or are simply better quality. 

The best example is in my On Writing series. Patreon means that I've been able to make my writing and worldbuilding videos longer, more in depth, better sourced and better edited — things which take a time and effort that I would not be able to do if I had to be purely concerned with views. YouTube might like longer videos, but it doesn't like academic videos or ones without flashy editing and jokes every minute or so. I don't feel my style quite fits that, and you allow me to pursue that tone and style that fits me more.

I've also been able to experiment a lot more this year. I hired Alex, my editor, last year, and he has immeasurably improved the quality of videos we get. None of that is possible without you.

This is why patrons like you are not just vital for the work I do financially but personally. Having to make creative things that are purely focused on views is... emotionally taxing. That flexibility and experimentation means I've remained passionate this year about my work, and how am I meant to thank you for that? Remaining passionate, being given the opportunity to care, is a gift few experience with their job!

My videos On Writing Fight Scenes were some of my best work in the series, and I wouldn't have been able to do it without buying tons of books/ebooks/audiobooks to study, taking the time to compile all that information. It was also a very text-heavy video, which the algorithm isn't a huge fan of. Not as many flashy fight scenes because we were able to focus on the writing, which is what I'm here for.

But 2020 saw something even more important on a personal level happen for me — I finished my book. I don't mean I finished the first draft. I mean I rewrote that first draft twice, edited it multiple times, scoured it with a red pen, and now it's with beta readers. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm on a real road to publishing. People often ask me, 'Tim, how do you make time?' but the truth is that I'm not the right person to ask that — because I have you guys. 

Having a financial incentive but also a financial safety to even take time to write a damn book is so different to what others have to deal with. Yes, the last half of 2020 has seen my channel tank a fair bit as I took probably 2-3 months to purely work on my book, but that was a sacrifice I could make because of patron support. I cannot understate how important you were in this. 

There has been nothing more fulfilling for me this year than finishing [new undisclosed title]. At the end of this, I hope you find my work... authentic to who I am. It may not be what you expect, but it will be very me. That will make itself clear once it's out, perhaps in 2021 or 2022. 

What can you expect in 2021?

I've been a bit slack on the channel due to working on my book, but I want swing right back into it hard. For starters, the first video of the year will be my longest video ever. It's the video on M Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender, and it's currently with Alex being edited. It should be anywhere up from 2 hours long (longer than the film itself). 

Secondly, I want to host of writing and worldbuilding content in the opening months, as well as a number of Avatar pieces I've been dwelling on. 

Thirdly, I'm already working on a grand personal project for next year on the cyberpunk genre which may or may not intersect with the game I will not shut up about. Ten points to anyone who knows what that is.

I also hope to do fewer sponsorships, as I have found them tedious.

The bottom line

I want to say thank you, that you make my life immeasurably better, and that your support isn't just an element of what I do, but a foundational bedrock that makes it possible. 

I have attached a picture of Momo as thanks. 

Finally, I want to ask what you want of me in 2021? Let me know down below.

Stay nerdy, and I'll see you in 2021,

Tim