Love Collector Ch. 19 (Patreon)

Sorry this took a bit, I was hung up on 19 because of the lack of outline since again most of what Oliver and Bradley were supposed to cover had already been said. 20 is almost done though, and then I'll make a blog about my plans.

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"[Wowza Dowza], that IS one [Hell of a Strategy]!" Bradley exclaimed after Oliver finished telling him his intentions. "Are you SURE that's how you WANT to do this?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

The plan was simple.

There were a lot of skills that could potentially help with his goal of impressing Mia and asking her out, but Oliver wanted to start big. How could he not? After having seen the kinds of things that were waiting for him in the top tier, the temptation was real. Oliver had enough to buy two top-tier skills and still have 15LP left over, leaving him not far from halfway to affording Selective Hearing.

He hoped that by subjecting himself to neverending, low-quality, royalty-free music, Oliver would feel pressured to push himself with Mia. He knew he would get another five points later for texting her for the first time and calling her would net him another five whenever that happened, too. From there, he'd only need to get another twenty-five points to end his aural torture once and for all.

No big deal, right? It just meant that the skills he picked out for himself instead of Selective Hearing had to be so good that they distracted him from his suffering, and there were plenty of options that could do precisely that.

Oliver and Bradley deliberated over many options, arguing points in favor and against each other's choices. Bradley proved to be a wise counsel and could provide alternative perspectives that challenged Oliver to make better decisions, but his mind was made up early on. He had his eyes on two utility skills, one for its immense game-breaking potential and the other for its recurring value and personal appeal.

The first skill was named Free Ride.

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Free Ride

Live without fear of worrying about living expenses ever again. Your rent, utilities, groceries, taxes, and other basic necessities such as personal hygiene products, insurance, and medical expenses are all taken care of from now on. Does not cover dining expenses and housing assistance is scaled to your overall income.

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It barely has to be said why Oliver would want such a thing, as everyone deserved a life free of worrying about their continued existence. Tricking yourself into believing otherwise was to willingly fall for the propaganda of the rich and powerful oligarchs who received more 'free rides' in the form of corporate bailouts and government subsidies than anyone else.

This was a dream come true for a guy down on his luck who was barely making ends meet. Coupled with never having to show up for work unless he wanted to, Oliver's schedule would become truly free to explore his powers and train his stats however he pleased.

Free Ride wasn't just a level-up for Oliver alone but for his entire sandbox, and there was nothing in the world greater than absolute financial freedom.

The only downside to it was the last line, which was seemingly slapped on to prevent him from going out and moving into the most enormous mansion in Starry Steps. That sucked, but it did seem fair when Oliver forced himself to look at it from a gameplay perspective. He still needed an incentive to work beyond getting money to spend on dates with Mia, he supposed.

Oh, well. Just another thing to work toward.

Without any hesitation, Oliver did the thing.

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Skill Purchased!

Free Ride

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"Weird," Oliver looked around as if expecting something to happen. "I thought that permanently escaping from the ever-present jaws of capitalism tightening around my neck would feel like a bigger deal than it actually does."

"What were YOU expecting to HAPPEN?" Bradley smirked. "For a [Cadre of Wealthy Elites] to barge IN and prostrate themselves before you, humbly admitting you have defeated [The Man] once and for ALL?"

"You know, that would've been pretty damn great..." Oliver laughed. "Not sure what I was expecting, though. It's not like anything would be meaningfully different right off the bat."

"I wouldn't SAY that! Why NOT check your [Food Stocks and Other Household Supplies]?"

Oliver inspected the situation in his fridge and pantry at Bradley's behest.

Both were full to bursting with essential foods that he liked, primarily snacks since he couldn't cook very well, but it was still a far cry from his instant ramen situation the day before. Poking around around the rest of the apartment revealed some more logical additions that he didn't initially think would happen. He suddenly had an unopened package of toilet paper, fresh paper towels under the sink, and his toothpaste, shaving cream, shampoo, and bottle of body wash were all as full as the day he'd bought them. Oliver smiled, thinking he could definitely get used to this.

After seeing what the first skill did for him, Oliver was ready to move on to the second. Admittedly, his choice here was less than logical, and it was the main thing that he and Bradley debated.

The one Oliver had his eyes on was named Lucky Bastard, not to be confused with the similarly named and much-maligned Lucky Pervert skill, which was entirely its own thing. Oliver didn't have any interest in (accidentally)knocking into women and somehow landing face-first in their crotch. That kind of thing always annoyed him in anime, and he doubted doing it in real life would endear him very much to Mia- or any other heroine, for that matter.

He wanted to guarantee his current streak of fortune would continue, and this skill seemed to promise everything he desired.

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Lucky Bastard

Manipulates probability to ensure things go your way more often than they don't. Expect fortuitous events to occur more frequently, unexpected blessings to appear when you least expect them, and to have a slight edge in games of chance.

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The main point of contention over Lucky Bastard was that it was very vague about what precisely would do for Oliver. It didn't make massive promises- it simply told him he'd have better luck. That good things would frequently occur without hinting at what those good things might be like.

Going off the description alone didn't make Lucky Bastard sound all that game-breaking. Oliver thought otherwise and argued that it would pay for itself if you looked at the value it would generate over time. A bit of good luck here and there for the rest of his life would add up, even if it wasn't immediately apparent how.

His intuition told him that Lucky Bastard was worth the investment, but that wasn't his only motivation for wanting the skill. It all came down to Oliver not considering himself a very lucky person.

The only good fortune he'd ever had was that he was born to a decent upper-middle-class family who loved him. That wasn't a small thing by any means, and not everyone was as lucky as himself in that regard, but Oliver often felt as if that one sizable blessing left his luck reserves drained dry. This lack of luck was a big part of why he was so excited about his abilities, seeing them as a long time coming for all the bad hands he'd been dealt.

While plenty of other skills promised immediate benefits and arguably more overall value than Lucky Bastard did, this one appealed to Oliver directly. There wasn't much arguing with that.

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Skill Purchased!

Lucky Bastard

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Before he could say anything to Bradley, Oliver's phone started buzzing in his pocket. He kept it outside his inventory since his cell phone plan presumably didn't include hammerspace coverage. Reading it caused two new notifications to appear.

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Lucky!

Order canceled.

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Received $15!

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"Huh," Oliver remarked. "Lucky Bastard just activated, then PizWiz messaged me saying they had to cancel my order, and they refunded me my fifteen dollars. Was that pizza a thoughtform, too?"

"Correct! Could you [Taste the Difference]?"

"Not really. I guess I was just starving when I bought that skill, and my subconscious bundled you with my food out of convenience, seeing as how you're supposed to support me and all that?"

"I didn't see YOU complaining, my friend!"

"Hey, it was good!" Oliver shrugged, feeling no desire to make it more complicated than that. "Can't say getting fifteen bucks back is a great demonstration of Lucky Bastard's potential, but at least it's something."

"[What's Done Is Done], there WILL be chances to [Purchase Additional Skills] in the future AFTER you've grown closer to [Tutorial Girl Mia Rosas] and any other ADDITIONAL heroines you decide on [Romancing]!"

"Right..." Oliver rolled his eyes at Bradley's innocent implication, still not believing things would ever get to the point where pursuing more than one woman was a viable option. The most he thought he could justify was maybe asking Stacy for her number and texting her if he ever needed an extra 10LP, but it was a huge maybe.

Aside from narrowing down the tier 3 choices, Oliver and Bradley scoured the other tiers for useful standouts and things that might appeal to Mia. It didn't do much good, returning to their lack of intel. The only skill they came close to agreeing on was Spanish Lv. 1, but it wasn't like she'd be all that impressed if he showcased basic fluency in America's second most spoken language.

The skill discussion had taken a while, and it was now 8:30 PM.

One nice thing about never having friends was it meant Oliver had never experienced an awkward situation where he had to tell someone to go home after growing tired of their company. He'd warmed up to Bradley in the short time he'd known the off-kilter thoughtform, but his body was weary from his long day spent on autopilot, and he was more than ready to start texting Mia. It turned out he didn't need to bring it up, as Bradley was in the know from the moment Oliver began to think about it.

"I think we've HAD a productive [First Day of Friendship], Oliver, my [Best Bro], but I see you're starting TO grow tired of MY company!" Bradley suddenly stood up and went to grab his PizWiz jacket, throwing it on.

"That's not how I was planning on phrasing it," Oliver felt called out and looked away sheepishly. "I'm just not used to this much social activity. That, and I want to text Mia."

"And what KIND of a [World's Greatest Wingman] would I be if I GOT in the way of your [Romantic Endeavors]?" Bradley smirked in what was clearly meant to be a charming display. It failed at the charming part, but it otherwise got the point across. "A [Terrible One], that's what. My [Cellular Telephone Number] has already been retroactively ADDED to your [directory]. When you're done texting [Tutorial Girl], update me on any PROGRESS you've made and let me know WHETHER you require my [World-Class Assistance] on [The Morrow]!"

Oliver wasn't going to let his new friend leave just like that, not without a proper goodbye. He was new to the concept of friendship friendship, but he knew how to show his gratitude. He forced himself to stand up despite his aching body and intercepted Bradley on the way out, extending his hand.

"Thanks for everything so far. It helped a lot to have someone I could talk to about all of this, and I'm going to lean on you a lot from now on. I hope that's okay, Bradley."

Bradley looked at Oliver's hand like it was a puzzle to be solved. Something akin to understanding appeared in his dull blue eyes after a few moments of silence, at which point he smiled more subtly than Oliver was used to. It was a human smile, or close to one, at least... maybe?

Okay, Bradley still had a long way to go, but there was definite progress, and Oliver had to respect that.

"It's more THAN okay, Oliver! I've got YOUR back. You aren't [Horrifically Alone] any longer, and if YOU'RE willing to put in the work, you NEVER will be again." Bradley said, taking Oliver's hand and squeezing it firmly. His skin was cold to the touch and oddly glossy, yet it otherwise felt real enough.

Oliver returned Bradley's smile before a creeping realization dawned upon him and he pulled his hand away to glance at his new best bro with renewed skepticism. During their brief, tender moment of friendship, he'd forgotten entirely about Bradley's true nature and the implications that might have.

"...Wait a minute, where the fuck are you even going?"

"Ha ha HAH!" Bradley pulled away, smirking and shooting finger guns. "Don't sweat the [Small Stuff], my FRIEND! I'm my own [Person?] now, and what I DO when I'm not actively [Furthering Your Desires] is [No Big Deal]. I haven't [Existed] for very long, so I'd like to go out and do some [Existing] to see what I've BEEN missing out on!"

This sounded like a recipe for disaster, and Oliver was uncertain that leaving the newly created thoughtform to roam the streets and shores of Vista Venus was the wisest of moves. He thought that Bradley might've been the kind of character who only showed up when needed and that he'd disappear when Oliver wasn't looking like an NPC despawning when you moved far enough away from them. That wasn't the case, and Bradley existed independently of Oliver, with his own desires and everything.

Oliver would have to live with the fact that he'd psychically willed a deeply unsettling caricature of a best friend into the tangled, convoluted web of creation.

"I get why you feel that way, but... I'm worried, dude. You're cool and all, but you're also fucking weird, and I don't want you wandering the streets scaring people or getting jumped by the homeless."

"The ALTERNATIVE is that I stay HERE with you in your [Cramped and Pathetic Studio Apartment]!"

Oliver smiled and opened the door for Bradley. "Try not to do anything that'd land you on the news."