Coye 5.20 (Patreon)

Fun fact, I didn't even have an outline for this one and yet I'm insanely proud of it lol. All of this was rattled off the dome.

ONE CHAPTER LEFT

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Chapter 20 - The World’s a Stage

Coye spent the last hour and a half at home with Shayla, performing light training exercises as his mind focused on the battle to come. He'd never fought a Mage before, but his father taught him the basics long ago, just in case Coye needed to know. There were only three rules to remember. Be ready for anything, break their hands, and cut out their tongues. None of the rules were conducive in this specific case, but at least he wasn't alone.

Not that Shayla was the most encouraging of partners.

She remained skeptical of this whole affair from top to bottom. Dorothy could say he believed in Coye as much as she liked, but he couldn't work miracles. The idea of fighting Britni was enough to panic the Pixie, but now they'd jumped so far past that level of danger that it wasn't even funny. The only solace she took was that Auguris wanted Coye alive, so at least he wouldn't kill the boy.

It wasn't as if Coye ignored the potential for defeat, either. He knew how in over his head he was, especially after the crazy amounts of adrenaline he'd worked up in the cafeteria had worn off. He was nervous, but Dorothy told him she believed in him. More than that, she called him her hero- twice! Coye had the stupidest smile during his warm-ups as he remembered how warm inside he felt when Dorothy said that. It had a nice ring to it, Coye thought. He wouldn't mind if she started calling him that more often.

"It's getting pretty close to the time you need to head back, isn't it?" Shayla sighed. "Come on in and gear up already."

"Alright," Coye had just finished up his footwork drills and was running out of things he could practice. He followed Shayla into the cabin, where she flew onto the table and sat on its edge.

"I know it might not seem like it with how worried I am, but... no matter what happens, I..." Shayla was trying to express herself, but the closer she got to the emotional bit, the harder that became. "Ugh. I'm trying to say that you were really cool today, baby. No idea where it came from, but-"

"I think it was the dust," Coye quickly admitted. "I've always wanted to stand up for her like that, every time I saw Dorothy getting treated like that... until now, I just never had help getting me to do it."

"You're welcome, I guess..." she laughed. "Fuck, this just means you're going to keep on doing stupid shit and getting into trouble, doesn't it? It's only going to get worse from here on out...!"

Coye smiled as Shayla's level of exasperation just about caused her soul to leave her body. "That won't be a problem."

"No? And why is that?" Shayla dredged her defeated eyes up to look at him.

"Because I have the best partner I could ask for, obviously. You're going be helping out, aren't you?"

"Uh, no shit. You probably don't even stand a chance without me!"

"Probably not," he nodded casually.

"If you want my help, though, you need to make it look like you're casting spells or some shit. Byng knew something was up because you weren't doing anything, remember?"

"Yeah. I was planning on leaving the shield at home so I could focus on speed for this fight, anyway, so I'll just gesture with my left hand whenever I want you to do something."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Anything else you want to say before I gear up?"

Rather than rushing ahead, Shayla closed her eyes and made sure they covered all the bases. "You know what's gonna happen if you lose, right? It's bigger than Auguris not listening to Dorothy. I'm not even talking about the financial shitshow Tammy turned this into, either. I'm talking about your reputation."

"You mean how people will never let me hear the end of it? I know." Coye approached his wardrobe and rested his hand on the handlebar. "It'll be just like it was in Roselake. Probably worse, since I went and hyped myself up as Dorothy's hero..."

"You're not gonna let that stop you, are you?" Shayla guessed.

"Nope. I'm gonna win."

"You ever seen this guy fight at full strength before? Any idea on how strong he actually is?"

"Pretty damn strong. That's all I know."

"Right, right... but are you actually confident that you can win this, or are you just talking out of your ass?"

"Shayla?"

"Uh... yes, baby?"

"Why would I ever charge straight into a fight where the odds are against me, already believing I'll lose from the outset? Whether or not I can win doesn't actually matter. What does is that I will win. You get it?"

Shayla hung her head, feeling stupid for how negative she'd been until now. This whole time, Coye was focused on building a positive mentality, and all she'd done was drag him down when she should've helped prop him up.

"Yeah, I get it now..." Shayla stood up. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You're just worried about me," Coye smiled. "I know what'll help."

"Yeah?"

"You know how it goes, c'mon," Coye raised his hands to both sides of his cheeks and waited for Shayla. She laughed when she realized where he was going with this, then followed his lead. Together, they slapped their cheeks until they were nice and red.

"Fuck, that stings!" Shayla winced.

"That's the point."

"I know, I know. I didn't say it was bad or anything. In fact, it's kinda nice. I get why you do it. You know you just lost your sword's power for the day, though. Right?"

"No, I lost it when I hit my hand on that stone wall. Remember?"

"Damn it, you're right. Are you ever going to get a new one? There's gotta be a nicer one out there with a more reliable power than 'fires a hurty beam as long as you haven't been injured today', you know. Marlie seems into it. Maybe see if she'll trade you one of hers?"

"I like my sword," Coye got strangely defensive as he looked at the weapon in question sitting to the side of his wardrobe. "It gets the job done."

"If you say so," Shayla shrugged. "C'mon, baby. We've chatted long enough. Get dressed and pick out which of your toys you're bringing to the playdate."

Coye nodded, knowing that was the hard part. After donning his adventuring gear, he pulled out a large chest filled with the many Adventurer's First trinkets he'd ordered over the last two years. Some were survival tools, others were weapons or magical implements with little use outside of very specific circumstances, but none were useless.

This was going to be the biggest battle of his life, and Coye didn't know which of them to bring. Luckily, he had pouches aplenty and stuffed them full with everything that would fit. It looked a little silly, but that wouldn't matter if the tools helped him win.

His boots tied, his sword slung over his back, and his Pixie stashed under his hat, Coye left home and made for the Guild.

At the same time he was departing, things were starting to look very different back at the Guild. Before today, its backyard was a scarcely used location. There were a couple of picnic tables, an open field, and nothing else. After Auguris had his way with the land according to Dorothy's instructions, the yard had a new selling point.

There was now a small-scale arena present.

Two large rows of stone seats were arranged on opposite sides of a square-shaped tiled platform that took up most of the area, and on the far side of the venue was a roofed dais featuring a prominent seat of honor where none other than Dorothy Whittle was seated. She was the one who drew the illustration of how Auguris could structure the new additions but seeing that scribble brought to life was intimidating now that the seats were filling up with people from all over the town.

A lot of Dorothy's new confidence left her at the same time as Coye, but she'd held herself together knowing he'd be back soon. That, and her present company helped alleviate her troubled mind through meaningful conversation.

"I don't think he's turned a single page since he started..." Byng said, leaning over the arm of the obnoxious throne.

"Not everyone reads at the same pace," Dorothy sighed and looked to Auguris, who'd been standing in the center of the arena platform since he finished constructing it.

In his left hand was a book titled 'Rock Jokes And You - Vol 1'. As Byng assumed, Auguris had indeed not turned any pages during his time as an unmoving statue. The first gag in the book read, 'Why wasn't the geologist hungry? They'd lost their apatite.' For his life, Auguris couldn't understand why this might prove humorous to someone. The double irony was that no one would find that 'joke' funny, but even that truth eluded Auguris.

"I wouldn't know," Byng shrugged. "Orcish doesn't even have a written component. My people communicate with glyphs and pictures."

"But... wait... you know how to read, don't you?" Dorothy tilted her head in confusion. "I've seen you read quest posters all the time!"

"Well, yeah," Byng laughed. The linguaball she ate before her journey to Karnalle came complete with reading and writing skills, as most ones of the modern era did. "But it's not like I've ever picked up a book or nothing, gahaha! Not any that didn't have cute drawings of boys, at least."

"Ahaha... I, uh, I wouldn't know anything about that sort of thing..."

"Maybe they'll change sooner than you think, Dotty?" Byng grinned.

Dorothy smiled weakly at her strange companion and then looked to the growing audience, sweat pooling down her brow.

Her anxiety couldn't help noticing even a few minor Lords were in attendance, their banners held high by bannermen unhelpfully blocking the view of anyone seated behind them. She'd made a joke about informing the nobility of the event but didn't expect any would actually show up...

Gods, At least none of them were important ones...

"Byng?"

"Sup?"

"Is it wrong that even after everything I said back in the cafeteria, I'm having second thoughts?"

Byng gave Dorothy a long and thoughtful glance before breaking her personal boundaries. Sitting on one of the throne's arms and then reclining against the other, Byng effectively sprawled across Dorothy's lap and smiled at her.

"Nah. You're not used to being large and in charge. Give it time!"

Dorothy blushed heavily at Byng's presence but didn't stop the catlike Gengaggi from doing as she pleased. Her low self-esteem forced her to take a jab at herself with, "Maybe not the 'in charge' part, but-"

"Don't-" Byng pressed her finger to her lips and shushed the Guild Mistress. "You're just asking to make yourself feel worse whenever you drag yourself down, you know."

"It's a bad habit," she sighed. "I wish I wasn't so self-deprecating, but..."

"Yeah?"

"Nothing, it's just..." Dorothy looked off to the side, ashamed. "I was about to say it'd be easier if I didn't have so many valid reasons to be critical of myself, but then I realized that was just another form of self-deprecation..."

"Geez," Byng groaned. "I can't imagine what it's like living with all those nasty thoughts swimming around in that head of yours."

"I still think I'm doing okay right now," Dorothy forced herself to smile. "Better than I thought I would be, at any rate... um... on a different topic, can I ask you something, Byng?"

"Shoot! I'm all ears," Byng twitched her long, Goblin-like and elicited a laugh from the girl.

"Why are you lying on top of me?"

"Because you haven't asked me to move?" Byng cocked her head as if this was obvious.

"No, I mean... in the first place, ahaha...?"

"Oh, that? Easy. You need this, girl. Touching other people is good for you, y'know? A little skin on skin? You leaned into my hug earlier today, so-"

"T-That was- um..."

"You don't need to make an excuse for it, Dotty! It's okay. I told you that you and I are gonna be best pals from now on, and I meant it! You're not gonna tell your best pal that having me across your lap doesn't make you feel at least a little less stressed, are you?"

"Ah..." Dorothy met Byng's eyes and started to blush. The more she thought about it, the more she realized Byng was right. This did feel good, and it did help distract Dorothy from her many fears and anxieties. "I-I think I get it now. Thank you, Byng... really..."

"No prob," Byng smirked. "You can even pet me if you want! Why should Coco get all the fun?"

"Let's save that for next time, ahaha..."

Byng raised an eyebrow. "So there's gonna be a next time, is there...?"

Dorothy smiled weakly and looked back to the audience. Most of the seats were full by now, and she guessed they were just shy of five hundred people in attendance. At least Tammy offered to start the fight when it was time- Dorothy was drained and didn't have it in her to address another crowd today.

"Do you think you can win?" She asked solemnly.

"Don't you?"

"I do," Dorothy gulped and feebly nodded her head. "But I don't have any evidence to back that up besides my heart telling me Coye's can do this. My heart and I aren't on the best of terms lately, so I'm not sure I should be turning to it for advice..."

"First of all, grim. Second, I think you should always trust your heart whenever it involves Coye." Byng smiled up at her, enjoying the way Dorothy turned bright red.

"Ah. I- um... I suppose I walked right into that one..." Dorothy scratched the back of her head. "But really, Byng... you've seen how strong he is, and I haven't. What do you think?"

"It's not like I've seen how strong Auguris is," she shrugged. "And I'm biased too, y'know? My heart is saying the same thing yours is, Dotty. No way he'll fuck this up. Not when you're watching."

Dorothy got really quiet all of a sudden and pursed her lips.

"Sorry, sorry, gahaha!" Byng cackled. "I can't help myself. Really, though. He'll be here soon enough, so try not to think about it until then. Okay?"

"Thank you, Byng. I'll try..." there was a lot Dorothy wanted to ask her new supposed best pal, but a lot of it boiled down to questions about Coye or further thoughts on the upcoming fight. Neither would do Dorothy much good to dwell on, so she shut her mind off to the world around her and allowed Byng's presence to comfort her in these trying times.

It was hard to relax, given how many people were in attendance and how many exciting conversations filled the typically dreary town of Cransmere that morning. One such discussion in the stands belonged to the Baddest Bitches, sitting together in the front seats as close to the action as they could get without being in Dorothy's little hut. Britni's reputation preceded her, and no one dared to sit next to their group in a two-seat radius on all sides.

"He's tooootally gonna fucking bail," Tiph said between heavy drags of her latest steezweed joint. "No way is that little squirt coming back. He, like, must've realized how fucked he is."

"I might've agreed with you a while ago," Marlie stared down Auguris in quiet contemplation. "But now? Now I'm not so sure. I could write off his odd behavior if it just happened that one time. Once is a fluke. Twice? Maybe. An entire week's worth of this sort of behavior? No. That's a pattern. He's changed."

"Not as much as you might think," Tiph grumbled and narrowed her eyes.

Marlie caught the nasty inflection in her voice and briefly glanced at her friend, wondering what that might be about. It sounded like Tiph knew something no one else was in on.

"Did something happen after Coco left you guys alone?"

Tiph looked away to avoid Marlie's inquisitive eyes. "Of course not," she scoffed. "I chatted with him a bit, but it was no big deal..."

"Mm," Marlie regarded, dropping the subject for now but committing it to memory.

"He's gonna win, right? Has to!" Coco had calmed down significantly once the object of her puppy love took off to prepare, but her thoughts were still a fevered mess where Coye's face and the memory of their sparring match refused to leave her alone. Regarding their match, Coye only beat her on a technicality. Strong as he was, Coco couldn't even imagine him defeating Britni, let alone Auguris.

"No way," Tiph laughed, reached over, and ruffled Coco's short, fluffy hair. "Even if he does show up, this thing will be over in seconds. For one, what was that stupid cunt thinking, letting Auguris make a fucking arena made of stone? I-"

"Don't call Dorothy a cunt," Britni sat behind her three friends like she were their superior. Her arms were crossed, her expression tense.

"Oh, fuck off," Tiph rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you were actually serious about all that."

"He stood up to me and didn't back down. Good behavior deserves a reward."

"Whatever," Tiph shrugged and took another drag. "My point still stands. Talk about stacking the deck."

"Auguris fighting on a stone platform doesn't give him any significant advantages over fighting on a grassy field," Marlie shook her head. "He's on his home turf as long as he's touching any earthy terrain. It only took him a few seconds to turn all the ground here into stone, anyway."

"Sounds bad..." Coco's ears drooped, and her tail stopped wagging. "Sounds really bad! How is, um..." For a moment, Coco became further disoriented when she tried to think of a way to refer to Coye that wasn't 'runt' and wasn't his name, which still proved too embarrassing to consider as an option. She took the easy way out, asking, "How is he supposed to win like this? Has to win! Petted Coco, has good luck!"

"Look at it this way," Marlie put her hand on Coco's shoulder to relax the poor pup. "If he wins, it'll be thanks to you."

"Me?!" Coco's eyes went starry.

"You're the one who gave him good luck," Marlie teased.

Coco thought about it for a minute, crossed her arms with stubborn pride, then adopted a smug, holier-than-thou smile. "Right! Marlie tells truth! He'll win, thanks to Coco!"

Apparently, that was all she needed to hear to be utterly convinced. Marlie admired her friend's simple outlook on life at times, now being one of them. Coye was cool with her, but speaking realistically, she didn't believe he would come out on top today. Marlie expected one of two outcomes. Immediate defeat, or a long, drawn-out affair where Coye makes it to time-out at a terrible cost to his body. For his sake, Marlie hoped for the former despite knowing it would tank his reputation.

If he managed to surprise her, though... Marlie supposed that wouldn't be so bad, either.

"He'll win because he won't allow himself not to," Britni raised her voice. "None of you bitches get it, so I guess I have to spell it out. Coye backed himself up against a corner, and now there's no other option than to fight his way out of it. You don't know what he's like when he gets like this... what he's capable of. Coye isn't just gonna win– he's gonna win so fucking hard that this entire place'll be shouting his name."

Tiph, Coco, and Marlie each looked over their shoulders at Britni, witnessing the resolute face of authority. This wasn't like Coco convincing herself of Coye's victory- the way Britni spoke made it sound more like she was stating an immutable fact. Like she'd seen it all before and knew the outcome and that everyone else was stupid for thinking otherwise.

When their leader spoke so confidently, it was nearly impossible not to be swayed by her beliefs. Each girl reassessed their predictions, now with Britni's words in mind.

"He better not. I've got a lot of gold riding on that little squirt choking down a big one..." Tiph rolled her eyes and tried to dismiss the unsettling feeling in her gut that told her Britni may just be onto something.

Back at the front desk, things had settled down. Anyone planning on placing a bet by now already did, and Coye was due back any minute now. Tammy made it through her workload surprisingly well- she didn't even need to take a break. This work proved more engaging than her typical affair since everyone dropping by the counter had high spirits- the promise of practically free gold tended to have that effect on people.

Tammy wasn't sure where this idea came from, but she was glad to have thought of it when she did. It put a lot of pressure on Coye's shoulders, but if he managed to pull this off, Tammy could at least say she helped the Guild when it mattered most– that she helped Dorothy when it mattered most.

As to whether or not Coye could pull this off, Tammy didn't know. By the sound of things, it seemed like the answer was probably not, but she couldn't be so sure. Tammy wasn't putting anything past him- not after how much entertainment Coye proved during these last few weeks.

Suzette kept a professional mask on as she helped register the bets and kept the numbers, but she was obviously worried about Coye's safety. Her heart wasn't entirely in it, and she could only hide that so much. She'd never seen a clash of superpowered people before, and although she told herself Coye was far stronger and more powerful than his size might lead one to expect, Suzette didn't know how strength would help him against that infuriating Mage.

Auguris was annoying enough on his own, but whenever Suzette thought about how he might inflict untold amounts of harm onto her Darling, well... old habits die hard, and Suzette couldn't help thinking that maybe she should've let Byng go and grab her knife.

After working together to close the front desk, it was time to join Dorothy and Byng. They crossed the stands, marveling at Auguris's magnum opus before reaching Dorothy's dais. There, the Guild Mistress was enjoying a short nap with Byng still sprawled out on her lap.

"I would've thought your narcolepsy had its limits, but I guess a crowd of several hundred people isn't one of them," Tammy raised an eyebrow at her boss.

"Huh? W-What?" Dorothy startled awake, almost knocking Byng off. Had the huntress not seen this coming and rolled onto the ground of her own volition ahead of time, she might've hit her head. "Oh, I, um... is it almost time, ahaha...?"

"Yes, any minute now..." Suzette frowned and looked at Byng. "You weren't causing Dorothy any trouble, were you?"

"Me? Nah," Byng hopped onto her feet and patted herself free of dust. "We're best friends now, right. Tell her, Dotty!"

Dorothy smiled softly and blushed. "Something like that. It's okay, Suzette... Byng is absolutely fine. She was just helping me relax, that's all. Goodness, I can't believe I actually dozed off..."

"You probably needed it," Tammy figured. "You must have been tired if you thought this throne was a good idea." She walked up to the side of Dorothy's seat of honor, tapping the back of it with her hand.

"I... um... I didn't actually- t-this wasn't in my sketch, I... I just asked for a dais, and Auguris assumed I wanted a special seat, and he didn't listen to me when I asked him to change it..." Dorothy hung her head low in shame. "Is it... is it really as flashy as it looks?"

"It's pretty bad," Tammy nodded.

"Ostentatious would be my word for it," Suzette added with regret.

"Oh, dear..." Dorothy gulped.

"Don't listen to them. You look cool as fuck on your fancy little chair, gahaha!" Byng patted Dorothy on the shoulder, but it was too late.

"I could go and ask him to change it again for you if you really want," Tammy offered.

"No, it's fine... I'll just-"

Auguris closed his book, his first sign of movement in nearly two hours. Somehow, it quieted every audience member into utter stillness as they turned to look at him. He placed the book in a pocket inside his coat and slid his wand from his sleeve, catching it in his hand before it fell. The Mage pushed up his glasses and trained his eyes on the back door entrance.

Auguris could feel it in the earth's vibrations. He was here.

"Guess it's too late for that, anyway," Tammy shrugged and started walking toward the ring. "Wish me luck."

"Tammy, wait-" Dorothy stood from her throne, clasping her hands together. "Thank you for handling the bets and officiating the match. I-"

"Save it," Tammy shook her head. "Now's not the time for big, friendship-reaffirming speeches. Not when I have work to do."

Dorothy smiled as she watched Tammy enter the ring and approach Auguris, relieved to be given the help she still clearly needed.

"So," Tammy put her hands on her hips. "Is he coming, or what?"

"Don't be foolish, Tamina Rheingald. Coye has already arrived, and the back door will open in precisely three seconds."

Four seconds passed.

"Right."

"He was about to come out," Auguris said. "But now he's heading toward the restroom."

"Please don't tell me that your magic lets you hear whenever anyone-"

"Only if I wish it to, Tamina Rheingald."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"...Do you maybe wanna follow that one up, or-"

"No," Auguris replied worryingly before thankfully finishing with, "I do not use my seismic shift-sensing magic to recreationally listen to others during their intimate time."

"Awesome. Really, really glad we unpacked that..." Tammy sighed and looked to the back door, waiting for the star of the show to arrive.

Coye was standing in the bathroom with the door locked, staring at the mirror as Shayla floated off to his side. He wasn't nervous, excited, or anything in between. He was determined- plain and simple.

"Last chance," Shayla warned. "Did you forget anything?"

"No."

"Sword nice and sharp?"

"Yup."

"How are you gonna signal for my help?"

"Gesturing with my left hand."

"And what are you here to do?"

"Win."

"Damn straight."

Shayla could never be as convinced as Coye was, but she was playing along for his sake. The fact that she was in his corner meant the world to him and made Coye feel like he could do anything, which inspired Shayla to continue supporting him with all she had.

"I'm ready," Coye said at last. "You?"

"As I'll ever be," Shayla nodded.

Coye raised his fist to the little Pixie, and she looked at him in confusion for a moment before the meaning became obvious. Shayla smiled and extended her own towards him, the two sharing the tiniest yet most impactful of fist bumps. Coye raised his cap and Shayla took her seat, putting a little extra magic on the hat so it wouldn't fly off mid-fight, and then they departed for the back door.

Coye opened it and stepped out, the light momentarily blinding him upon exiting the dimly-lit building.

'Oh, shit-' Shayla gulped the second they saw Auguris's arena in all its glory. She wouldn't say it, but she was bothered by how many people were in attendance. Sure, Dorothy told people to go and bring their friends, but Shayla underestimated how many friends those adventurers must've had.

Cransmere sure was a strange place. In only one quick glance at the crowd, Shayla saw a chubby man in mermaid-themed drag, a literal Golem, a downtrodden, broken-legged man being harassed by his wife and their many children, and all sorts of other weirdos. The farmer and his daughter from the other day were here, too. In fact, most of Coye's admirers that Shayla had spied on showed up. She hoped he still looked just as pretty for them after the match as he did now.

The crowd studied Coye harder than Shayla studied them. All the adventurers present during the morning confrontation were seated among the rafters, while even more of his peers showed up in the last two hours. People pointed and whispered, unsure of what to expect, while a few others laughed at Coye's choice to wear nearly twice as many pouches as he usually did. It wasn't his fault he couldn't pluck things from a pocket dimension like his Pixie companion could. Coye had to settle for carrying items the mundane way, no matter how silly that looked.

On the left was the Baddest Bitches, who all watched him with eager curiosity, and to the far side of the ring sat the girl all of this was for... and Coye's two other girlfriends were there with her, as well. They were important, too- just not so much at the given moment.

Dorothy watched Coye approach the ring step-by-step, hoping she hadn't made a drastic mistake because of her sudden burst of confidence. He could actually win, couldn't he? Her heart wasn't lying to her, was it? Could she even trust that stupid old thing? Dorothy had no choice but to hold on to hope as Coye took the first step into the ring.

This entire time, Coye's eyes had been trained on one man and nothing else. Auguris Aureo stood in the center of the stone platform, his wand drawn. He was so still he would've looked like a fixture of the arena if it weren't for the fluttering of his metal coat in the faint summer breeze. Where others saw an unmoving statue, Coye saw a man primed and ready for battle.

Now more than ever, Auguris seemed to fit the title of Cransmere's strongest adventurer. As Coye walked up to him and stopped five feet away, they looked at each other face-to-face and didn't say a word. Tammy was at his side, and she nudged the Geomancer with her elbow.

"I have to do the thing now. Is there any chance you could make a magic thingy for my voice, or is that outside your wheelhouse?"

"Wheelhouse?" Auguris briefly regarded her in confusion. "I am capable of creating an implement to magnify your speech, Tamina Rheingald, but first, you must-"

"Yeah, I would totally let you say the rest of that, but how about let's skip past it, and you just do the thing for me. Okay?"

"Very well. I suppose brevity is of the essence in matters such as this, yes?" Auguris asked no one in particular before waving his wand and creating a hollow cone with a handle out of the stony ring. He took his creation and extended it to Tammy. "Take it. I have changed the structure and properties of this mineral so that it will carry your voice-"

"Don't care. It's magic. That's good enough for me." Tammy cut him off again before looking at Coye. "You good to go, Killer?"

"Yup. Go ahead."

Tammy nodded out of respect and then placed the cone to her lips, addressing the crowd at an amplified volume allowing everyone to hear her as she spoke. "What's up, Cransmere? Are you ready to see some action or whatever?"

There was a mild response from the audience. Some scattered applause, a couple of inappropriate 'whoop-whoop's, and even a few cheers.

"Yeah, I thought as much. That's okay. I'm pretty low-energy, myself. The thing is, I'm not even going to try and hype this shit up. Don't need to. When these two get started, you'll all see why coming here was the right decision today. Mark my words, shit is gonna be wild."

Tammy's unorthodox style of emceeing proved more compelling the longer she talked. People were excited to hear what she had to say- her vague words and the way she led around the crowd's imaginations did all the heavy lifting.

"Now, before we begin... let's meet our contestants. Yeah? Yeah. So, this guy-" she gestured at Auguris. "Most of you must know him because Auguris got over ninety percent of the bets here, but for those who don't, keep it that way."

There was an awkward silence before a few laughs.

"No? Whatever. So, yeah. Auguris is some fancy Magicademy graduate who makes up for his complete lack of social skills by being absurdly strong. Huh." Tammy paused and rubbed her chin, then looked at Coye. "Now that I think about it, you two have more in common than I realize. As for him, Coye is something of a gigolo who goes around breaking the hearts of women wherever he-"

"T-Tammy, no, stop!" Coye blushed and made for her magic cone with his hand, only for Tammy to pull it away. The crowd liked this, apparently, and Coye earned no small amount of wolf whistles from many of Cransmere's women- the loudest belonging to Byng.

"That's my man! Gahaha!" She shouted, shaming Coye until he burned bright red.

"I'm joking, joking... for the most part, anyway. Honestly? This kid didn't stand out too much until recently. He was just another run-of-the-mill adventurer who faded into the background. Now, look at him- standing on a stage, ready to fight the strongest of his peers. The thing is, this isn't a straight fight. If it was, Coye would lose. Sorry," she shrugged at Coye. "But that's a fact as far as I know."

Coye nodded respectfully and Auguris adjusted his glasses.

"So, to make things fair, Auguris suggested a handicap. This fight is gonna last a half-hour-" at Tammy's words, Auguris raised his wand and shaped a giant hourglass over at Dorothy's dais, filling it with precisely enough dirt to accurately measure the time. "Huh. Neat. So, yeah- Coye gets a half-hour to nail this pretentious dirt slinger however he can. If he hits Auguris with his sword, punches him in the face, kicks him-"

"The attack has to visibly injure me," Auguris snuck in, which Shayla found rather suspect.

"Sure, whatever. It's your challenge. If Coye visibly fucks this dude's shit up a single time, then the match is over. On the other hand, Auguris just has to go the entire half-hour without getting damaged to claim victory. Easy, right?" There was another round of nervous laughter in the crowd. No one knew what to expect, and seeing that cute boy carrying loads of pouches in contrast to the well-dressed, fancy-looking Mage made Coye much harder to take seriously.

"Now, you might be wondering how all this started. For those who weren't here this morning, I'll give you a quick run-through-" Tammy explained, walking between the two adventurers. She then gave an informal recap of the events leading up to Auguris's challenge before covering the stakes.

Tammy raised her hand toward Coye, saying, "This guy over here wants Auguris to stop acting like a total spaz and annoying our beloved Guild Mistress, while Auguris, in a completely tone-deaf decision, apparently wants Coye to start hanging out with him on quests. Don't ask- I don't know what's up with that, either."

After another small round of laughing, Tammy extended the magical cone to Auguris after asking, "Before we get started, anything to say?"

Auguris considered it and took his creation, saying, "I remain unaware as to what I've done wrong, but I will not be changing my ways unless I am defeated. Let it not be said that Auguris Aureo is anything but a man of his word, however. I extend my mercy by way of this opportunity for you, Coye. You won't break me, but should I bend, then bend I shall."

Satisfied with his proclamation, Auguris handed the cone to Coye and allowed him the same courtesy. Coye took it and looked at the magical implement, searching for the right words.

What was the right thing to say here? Should he dedicate this to Dorothy? Should he try taunting Auguris the way he had with Coco? Coye didn't know, but Shayla ended up having a choice suggestion. At first, he was outright against it, but as the seconds passed, Coye was increasingly tempted to say it. It would be pretty funny... wouldn't it?

A slave to his whims, Coye took a deep breath and made the plunge.

"I'll bend you over, alright," Coye declared, causing the largest outburst of laughter thus far. He cringed a little internally as the sheer scale of it brought back memories from his childhood, but his fears became his strength when he realized the crowd was laughing with him and not at him.

Byng was losing it. Suzette stifled a laugh. Dorothy blushed and almost snorted. Britni was satisfied by his taunt, Coco laughed because everyone else was laughing, Marlie smirked, and even Tiph couldn't help a small giggle, if only because she was high. Auguris obviously didn't understand the wordplay, but Tammy appreciated it and broke her resting bitch face to smile smugly.

As for Shayla, she was more than satisfied. She helped Coye stick his foot in the door, and the rest was up to him. 'Don't stop now, baby. You'll never get a better chance to tell them all how you really feel. Make the most of it.'

Oddly enough, Coye didn't need to think about what he wanted to say for very long. Once the laughter settled down, he continued on with, "Jokes aside, I'm not planning on losing today. Screw the odds, screw Gold-rank, and screw anyone out there telling me I can't do this. I'll tell you why I won't lose- it's because I'm doing this for my friend."

Coye stepped to the side so he could point past Auguris to Dorothy at her dais, putting the eyes of the town solely on her. She almost couldn't handle it, but she found it more manageable to look straight at Coye instead of anything else. Dorothy would've seen the irony there if she weren't so embarrassed by getting called out

"Dorothy Whittle is more than my Guild Mistress. She was the first friend I made in this town, and... she was my first friend, period. When I was just starting out, she took great care of me. Dorothy did everything she could do to make sure I succeeded in my career... running me through quests, getting me up to speed on the local region, giving long lectures on monsters and their weaknesses so that I would survive out there... all that, and more..."

The crowd grew silent as a moonless night, hanging on his words and waiting for him to continue.

"Sorry if any of this sounds, um, unnatural or anything. I'm not good at talking. I'm not good at a lot of things- Tammy was right when she said I didn't use to stand out much. I might've started breaking out of my shell recently, but you know what? For two years, my friendship with Dorothy was all I had. Talking to her, spending time with her, telling her about my quests-"

'Do NOT say watching her from afar,' Shayla correctly predicted his following words and luckily prevented him from making that blunder.

"...and so on. To Dorothy, it might've been just her job, but for me, it was everything. I'm not gonna lie and say she doesn't have her flaws. She's stubborn and tries doing everything on her own, she talked me into buying tons of crap I don't need, and she doesn't take very good care of herself... but so what? Dorothy is special despite all her faults. If I'm the only one who sees that, then fuck it. More for me."

Coye paused to catch his breath, not expecting the crowd to burst into thunderous applause the way they did. He looked around, dumbfounded that his words would have such an effect. The vast majority were regretting their choice to vote against him right about now.

"I, um... I wasn't done. Sorry. I told you I'm not very good at this." Coye spoke again awkwardly into the hollow cone, earning some additional laughter. He looked to Tammy and asked, "Should I stop now, or-"

"Killer, you could keep talking for three hours straight and they'd still be eating out of your palm," Tammy shook her head and gave him a smile. "You got this."

"Okay. I was almost done, anyway." Coye scratched the back of his head and then continued wrapping up his speech. "I just wanted to say that what I'm gonna do to Auguris is what'll happen to anyone else who thinks they can walk all over Dorothy and get away with it. Call me an ass-kisser, a suck-up, a brown-noser, a white knight, or whatever else you want. I don't care. I'll lean into it, even. If Dorothy is in trouble, I'll jump in and save her every last time because I'm her hero."

Dead silence took hold of the arena for a few moments until Coye called out, "You got that, Dorothy?"

The entire speech took Dorothy by surprise, and it didn't let go for even a second. She expected Coye to say a few words and be done with it- to have recovered from his impulsive moment of courage and relapse closer to normal like Dorothy did. It finally sunk in that this was Coye's new normal and that his bravery wasn't a one-off thing.

From now on, Dorothy had a hero by her side. A hero who'd been there all along and who Dorothy would've given anything to have noticed sooner. She felt so many emotions right then and there as she sat on her ill-fitting throne while Coye and a sixth of the town's population stared at her. Despite being the happiest moment of her life, her anxiety and doubt refused to let up even now. Thankfully, Dorothy's negativity was browbeaten by the sheer positivity and hope welling up within her heavy heart for the first time.

She cried harder than ever as she nodded at her beloved hero in the ring, Suzette stroking her back and Byng patting her upper arm. For a moment, Shayla almost wished she could've been over there sitting on Dorothy's shoulder, comforting her in some way or another.

"I... I got it," Dorothy forced herself to shout through the sobs. "I understand everything now, Coye, so... so you better not let me down, okay?"

Coye smiled, not even daring to entertain the possibility that he would prove unreliable after the first time Dorothy dared to reach out to him and truly ask for help. He didn't say a word back- his smile said enough.

"You good now?" Tammy stifled a smile and extended her hand for the cone.

"Yeah, I think so..." Coye said under the crowd's thunderous applause. He handed Tammy the tool and watched as she put some distance between her and the combatants.

"Alright," Tammy spoke into the cone again. "As soon as you're both ready, head for the opposite sides of the ring. I'll tell you when to start."

Coye looked at Auguris, who was so silent and unmoving throughout Coye's dramatic speech that he may as well have been a gargoyle. Only now did he shift his posture, locking eyes with the boy.

"I hope you know that none of what you've just said changes a single thing, Coye," Auguris pushed up his shining glasses to emphasize his point in his stereotypical manner. "If nothing else, I commend you for doing a spectacular job making this all about Dorothy Whittle and your personal drama. Indeed, your story sounds like quite a colorful one, and you've gone and cast me as quite the antagonist through absolutely no fault of my own. That said, you've set such absurdly high expectations for yourself that I fear what might become of you upon your defeat at my hands."

"If," replied the unstoppable force.

"When," corrected the immovable object.

'Don't let him get to you, baby. We got this. Just waaaaaalk away.' Shayla tapped Coye on the head several times, but the boy didn't turn from his foe.

"I wish it to be known here and now that I take no delight in what I'm about to do, Coye. You will be beaten, devastated- reduced to mere specks of dust in the flowing wind that I might reshape however I so choose. No matter how much you may frame our battle, I am more than a stepping stone for you to prove your worth. I am the sculptor of your defeat."

"Are you done talking?" Coye's forehead throbbed in pain as it always did whenever he tried following along past more than two of Auguris's sentences.

"Is one ever truly done speaking until the day they are dead and buried?" Auguris mused. "I think not. However, it could certainly be argued that if one was perhaps willing to entertain the possibility of a hypothetical-"

Coye started walking to his side of the ring before Auguris inflicted more psychic damage on his pink, squishy, smooth-as-silk Half-Elven brain. Shayla was thankful. The poor Pixie was getting pretty close to hitting her threshold, too.

"Aha. Eager to hurry along your defeat, I see. Very well. I shall do the same, my soon-to-be new friend. Oh, the adventures we shall have." Auguris bowed politely to Coye and walked to his corner just the same.

'Part of me is wondering if this is all because he doesn't have any friends...' Shayla wondered, almost pitying the man who was like a bizarre reflection of her socially awkward yet adorable partner.

"Shayla, I understand like... three or four words out of every sentence Auguris speaks. I couldn't tell you the first thing about him." Coye shrugged, mumbling under his breath.

'Can't say I blame you, baby...' she was now at the point where she almost hoped Coye won solely so they wouldn't have to start hanging around Auguris from now on.

Coye and Auguris were now at their respective corners, staring each other down from a distance. Tammy was positioned in front of Dorothy's dais, clutching the magical cone tight as she held it before her mouth.

"Everyone ready for this shit?" She asked to thunderous applause.

"Are you sure?" It grew louder.

"Better, but I guess that's all this town's capable of..." in defiance, the audience reached its fever pitch and stamped their feet on the stone beneath them.

"Nice. I think we've beaten around the bush for long enough, so let's just get straight into it. Three... two... one..."

Coye drew his sword.

Auguris readied his wand.

"Fight!"