Coye 5.17 (Patreon)

Two more chapters left till end of volume!!

Chapter 17 - Dorothy’s Week 7 - A Light in the Dark

Dorothy was numb. Her mind. Her body. Her everything. A pervasive absence had taken hold of her senses and refused to let go. She couldn't see anything amid the gloaming of her life, and for that, Dorothy was thoroughly grateful.

In that ever-expanding darkness, memories permeated through her mind like long-forgotten dreams that should've stayed lost. Her mother and father, the beach of Priddlesby overlooking the Shining Bay, the Palladis Library and its echoing halls, the day she left to join the Academy... none of it mattered.

Everyone was wrong about her. She wasn't a genius, just some farmer's daughter who loved reading, and no expensive schooling could change that. Dorothy Whittle was a plain, twenty-six-year-old woman who couldn't manage her personal problems, let alone an entire Guild.

It was liberating to no longer care, to disassociate once and for all- like all those experiences happened to someone else, and she was just that person's husk who got to lay in their comfy bed and never move again. She was done leaving that bed, as there wasn't a point to it. If she did, she’d only fail at something else or disappoint someone new. No, this bed was where she belonged until the Association fired her and forced her to leave.

They better be prepared to haul her fucking corpse out of this bed, the husk thought.

Maybe that would show those fuckers that people were more than meat and grinders? On second thought, no, it most likely wouldn't. The system was fucked- rigged from the start. Decent people couldn't be Guild Masters, and she shouldn't have tried. It probably would've been better if she had stopped caring sooner. Hell, it might've done wonders for her career if she started treating people the way they treated her... but it was too late.

The husk heard a knock at her door, but she ignored it. Tammy was persistent and kept checking on her even as she struggled to manage the front desk. She didn't have it in her to care enough that her disabled friend now had to do all the hard work, but her apathy wasn't vindictive.

It just was.

There was nothing that the husk cared about. Not herself, her friend, her job, her life, anything. If she remained silent, Tammy would get the hint sooner or later, and then she could go back to her peaceful ceiling staring without a care in the world. All the husk had to do was make it through a few more of those loud, unpleasant knocks, and then she would be-

"Dorothy? Are you in there? It's me."

Dorothy shifted in bed- the first movement she'd made all day. Her neck craned toward the door, knowing that Coye was behind it. Why did that matter? Nothing was supposed to matter anymore... in fact, Dorothy convinced herself it was a fluke. She would ignore him the same as anyone else at her door. It wasn't worth the trouble.

"I'm here," Dorothy's heart answered him immediately. There wasn't a single moment of hesitation. She didn't even recall deciding to respond- it just happened. Why would she do that? Stupid girl. You're supposed to be a husk now. Stop caring about things- about people. About him.

Speaking of him, what was taking Coye so long to answer? What was he doing on the other side of that door? He wasn't coming in, was he? Dorothy's awareness expanded far enough to realize her current state. A lot of her blanket had fallen off of her during her sleep, revealing her slovenly body covered only by panties and a tank top. If he came in, then...

Dorothy sat up enough to bundle her blanket around her, using it to form a cocoon of safety and comfort.

"I heard about what happened, and I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner. Not sure if there's anything I can do to help, but... I can't have you calling me a liar, can I? I said I would always be here for you when you needed me, so... here I am."

No. Please, don't talk like that. Not again.

"I'm okay now. You can go home, Coye..." Dorothy forced herself to say.

"...Is that really what you want? Because if it is, I'll leave, but if you're just saying that because you're upset, I'm not going anywhere."

The world around Dorothy crawled to a halt. Her thoughts ceased, the boy on the other side of the door disappeared, and she became intimately aware that talking to him awoke something inside of her. Light. There was still so much dark clouding her mind and obscuring her existence, but Coye's presence lit a candle allowing her to see in front of her face.

"I don't know what I want anymore, Coye. I really don't."

"Yeah?"

"...No. I'm lying." Dorothy admitted to him and herself.

"Well, what do you want?"

"I want to quit my job."

Saying it out loud was the most surreal feeling. Dorothy harbored this desire inside herself for so long, ignoring it, pretending it didn't exist while wasting away. While it felt liberating to express, the thought of quitting brought Dorothy dismay when she considered everything that would come along with it.

"Then you should," Coye responded instantly. "If quitting your job is what it would take to make you happy, there's no reason not to."

Again, Coye had left her dumbfounded. Dorothy didn't think he would encourage her, but he always tried to help. Even now.

"Where would you go? After you quit, I mean."

Dorothy pictured sailing across the bay and watching fishermen working hard to feed their families. The smell of fresh milk straight from a cow. Sand beneath her toes. Watering a line of crops. The clucking of chickens.

"Back home- Priddlesby."

"Never heard of it."

"I'd be more surprised if you had. It's a small village across Dawnstead's Shining Bay, in Arrark's most southwestern corner."

"So, far from here?"

"Very far."

"Far enough that I'd probably never end up in those parts?"

"Probably not."

"I'd tell you I'd miss you, but I don't wanna make it sound like I'm trying to convince you to stay."

Dorothy tightened her cocoon around her body, wishing it would become real enough to protect her from his kind words and the warm emotions they imparted.

"If I left... I would miss you, too, Coye. More than anyone else."

"...Yeah?"

"Yeah..." Dorothy admitted. "But who am I kidding? It's not like going home would suddenly make me happy. I would just feel worse back there, honestly."

"Really? It wouldn't be any better than here?"

"Nope."

"Why's that?"

Dorothy questioned whether there was a point in telling him any of this, but her mouth started moving, and her words spilled like an overfilled glass.

"It's just... there was this thing when I was little-"

"You never told me you were bullied, too."

Dorothy laughed. "No, it's not that. I wasn't bullied... it's... kind of a long story. I'll try and summarize."

"Don't hold back on my account. I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh. Right, ah... well... there was an earthquake when I was a little girl. Things got difficult after that- the quake rustled up all the monsters in the nearby area, and they started causing trouble for the town I lived close to. I told you my family has a farm, right?"

"No. You never really talk about yourself."

"Huh..." Dorothy paused. It's been two years since they met- had she really never brought it up? The thought made her sad for some reason. Like she was suddenly disappointed and wanted Coye to know more about her. "Well, anyway... back then, it was a little farm. Nothing special, only two small fields, a barn, and a couple of chicken coops. We couldn't hire adventurers to come and protect us, and neither could most of Priddlesby. It's just one of those places- one of the thousands of tiny villages across Karnalle that haven't joined the modern age for one reason or another."

"Sure. On my quests, I've been to plenty of little villages like that."

"Right, right..."

"So what happened? Did your farm get attacked or something?"

"Yeah... a bunch of times. My mom was no adventurer, but she knew how to fight. Most monsters were usually no match for her whenever they tried getting past our fences, but even she couldn't handle it when it started showing up in greater numbers... the thing is, I knew how we could take care of them. I'd read so many books from the Dawnstead library, and even back then, I was always interested in monsters, so..."

"You probably had all the ways to kill them sorted out, didn't you?"

"No-" Dorothy laughed. "Not kill them, but... I knew how to make our farm's defenses much stronger. There were many measures we could've taken to repel monsters, but they didn't listen to me until... until they both got hurt. Bad. I... I had to treat their wounds myself, and they..."

"Dorothy?"

"S-Sorry, um..."

Dorothy had lived through a lot in her twenty-six years. She'd seen many powerful adventurers and impressive displays of magic, studied monsters up close at the Academy, and even more. Yet, there was only one time that things were ever truly dire for her. Experiences like that left a mark, even now so many years later.

"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to. I get it. Everyone's got something that's hard to talk about."

"I'm fine, Coye. I... I want you to know this. When I was treating their wounds, my parents were very close to dying, and they told me not to bother... they wanted me to run to the village while I still had a chance to save myself. I didn't listen, obviously. I patched them up as best I could, and while they were still out of commission, I went out and fortified our farm myself. I'll spare you the details, but it mostly had to do with placing dung strategically around the perimeter, installing new scarecrows stuffed with different herbs and spices that repelled certain species, and other superstitious-sounding junk like that..."

"And it worked?"

"The monsters wouldn't even come close anymore," Dorothy laughed again, this time with more warmth and even some pride. "As soon as my parents recovered, we shared my information with the town. Next thing I know, they started treating me like I was something I'm not."

"A hero?"

"A genius. Everyone suddenly started respecting me- a little girl- all because I read a couple books! After that, things changed a lot. The townspeople would give me little presents whenever I was around. A new book here, a basket of cookies there... gods, I used to be so much fatter..." Dorothy laughed and sighed at the same time. "My parents gained a lot of respect, too. We got better prices on goods, free farm supplies, and people even started showing up at the farm to lend a hand now and again..."

"Dorothy, I don't mean to interrupt... but... why was any of this a bad thing?"

"It wasn't! I-I didn't mean to imply that- I- oh, dear... no, Coye. Priddlesby is full of nothing but wonderful people. It's a tiny town where everyone knows each other and loves their neighbor, like... the sort of town you would expect a hero to hail from in one of those lovely little fairytales I used to enjoy. Not like Cransmere... not at all."

"Okay, then. What was the problem?"

"They... somehow, everyone got it in their heads that I would be wasted living in Priddlesby forever. They thought I was a big fish in a small pond, so everyone planned behind my back to send me to swim with the sharks where I belonged when I got old enough. Given how much I liked to read and how everyone knew monsters fascinated me, it's not surprising they thought I would be a good fit for the Association."

"Did they force you into it?"

"No. Not on purpose, at least. I was okay with the idea, maybe even a little excited. My parents took me to see the Dawnstead Adventurer's Guild once after I read this series of books about a young team of adventurers. The Association pumps those kinds of books out to inspire kids to join the lifestyle, you know how it is... so... it wasn't like I never showed any interest or anything."

"Was that the only reason?"

"No," Dorothy admitted. "I was also told that the pay for working under the Association is generally pretty great. Case in point- our Guild isn't even doing that good, and I'm still pretty well-off, you know? Of course, that just means everyone wants to work for the Association. Might as well profit off of that, right? Tuition to their little Academy is crazy high, and they want you to pay four years of it upfront."

"Oh... I think I get it now. You still owe these people money, right?"

"I wish it was that simple, but no. Anyone who paid for my tuition, I've long since paid off..."

"Then why don't you want to go home?"

"Coye... can't you imagine what it would be like? Returning to the town where you grew up, walking the streets with your head held low while everyone you know and love stares at you in silence or greets you half-heartedly. No one says it, but they're all thinking the same thing... I guess we were wrong about her..."

There was a long silence where Coye didn't say a single thing. Dorothy stressed over whether or not she scared him away with negativity, but she should've known him better by now.

"I'm so sorry, Dorothy..." it was simple, but it resonated with her, and she could feel his sympathy.

"I know it probably wouldn't really go like that, but... I'd never be able to stop myself from feeling that way whenever they look at me..."

"I do understand a little bit, though. I don't want to go back to Roselake if I can help it, either."

"Really?" Dorothy's head poked out of her blanket hood just a little bit. "Why is that?"

"It's stupid, but I was bullied a lot when I was young..." Dorothy heard a laugh. "There are too many bad memories and people I don't want to see again."

Following his cue, Dorothy also laughed even though it was highly inappropriate. She realized how awkward this was and rushed to apologize. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to- it's just..."

"You're okay, Dorothy. It's what I'm here for."

Dorothy smiled softly and stared at the door. A sudden urge came over her, and she scooted closer so that her feet hung off the side of the bed.

"I bet those bullies wouldn't believe what they saw if they got a look at you now. You're doing pretty good for yourself lately," Dorothy thought aloud wistfully. "New house, new girlfriends, a decent chunk of gold to your name... it's all so impressive, Coye."

"I'm nothing special. I just found a way to make it work."

"Yeah? What helps you get through the day, Coye?"

"Drugs. Really hard stuff." Coye responded with such a serious inflection that Dorothy almost believed him.

Dorothy laughed even louder, trying to remember if Coye was always this funny or charming. A day hadn't gone by as of late where he didn't surprise her one way or another. "I've been on a bunch of different potions if that's what you mean. None of them really helped. Eschal says that my brain resists the urge to not be sad and stressed... that, and I'm always super susceptible to their side effects..."

"I wish you didn't have to feel like that."

"It's okay... I'm used to it..." Dorothy's voice trailed off and became melancholic as she thought about how she didn't always use to be like this. She was full of life as a child. Happier, too. Where did all the time go?

Silence took hold on both ends of the conversation. The longer Coye went without saying anything, the more Dorothy feared the light would fade, and she would return to darkness. Had he lost interest? Did he see this wasn't going anywhere and give up? Dorothy wouldn't have blamed him, but she would've been disappointed if that was the case.

Oh, well. It was nice having his company one last time, if only for a little-

"Hey, Dorothy?"

Dorothy's heart leaped after hearing his voice again, her persistent negativity defeated by two simple words. "Oh, I'm sorry... my thoughts keep getting ahead of me. What is it, Coye?"

"Can I come in?"

All it took was those four words to send poor Dorothy into shock. At least this time, there wasn't a pain in her chest, but it was still pretty bad. She looked across her room, witnessing the dirty clothes, the mountains of opened books, the embarrassing amount of snacks... not to mention Dorothy wasn't even fully dressed.

Nope, there was no way Coye was setting foot in this room. Not even if his life depended on it. Dorothy felt that seeing his face might've put her back on Eschal's treatment bed, anyway. Better not to risk it.

"I'm sorry, but that's not a good idea right now."

"Because it wouldn't be appropriate?"

"N-No! Well, yes... but that's not the main reason. Honest! It's not you. It's me. I just-"

"You don't have to worry so much about it. I was just seeing if you'd prefer to talk face-to-face."

"I appreciate it, really. But I'm not in the right mind for it," Dorothy sighed, hating that she wanted Coye to stay as bad as she did yet still couldn't even invite him in. "I'm sorry that you took all this time out of your day to come here and try to make me feel better, but I don't think that's even possible at the moment..."

"If you're sorry over anything, it should be for not sending for me as soon as you woke up."

Feeling the heat rising in her cheeks, Dorothy looked at the ground. "What do you mean by that?"

"I told you I'd be there for you whenever you needed me, and I meant it."

Dorothy couldn't breathe again. It wasn't fair for him to say things like that at a time like this. Not fair at all. "Now that would be inappropriate..." she managed a laugh. "Then again... our relationship hasn't been appropriate for a while now. Has it?"

"Nothing wrong with that. Inappropriate relationships are my favorite kind."

Dorothy giggled, blushed, and smiled like she'd never even had a care in the world. Gods, Coye was forward. Not that she minded at all. Was this that 'flirting' thing she'd heard so much about? If it was, it was lovely. Dorothy wondered why Orlandis and Milse wasted so much time doing anything but this.

"I wish you wouldn't keep saying things like that," she pleaded with a sigh. "You're making me want to stay... to keep trying... to not give up even though my body is begging me to stop."

"I thought you said you couldn't stay just because of one person?"

"Maybe I underestimated how much one person could actually mean to me? Who knows..." finding herself at a crossroads, Dorothy decided to ask for his advice. "What do you think I should do, Coye?"

He didn't take long to think about it. "Work less."

"I'm trying not to work at all, but it's not going so well..." Dorothy joked, only to get a surprisingly serious answer from him.

"I mean it. You're always trying to do a million different things all on your own. You don't sleep unless you pass out, never take time to care for yourself, and then blame yourself for not working hard enough. It's toxic, and you should slow down. I can't go on adventures without a break here and there, so why should you be any different? I bet things'll go a lot smoother if you only did a couple things every day and did them well instead of a lot of things done poorly."

Coye laid out so many truths in a row it was hard to sort them all out. Dorothy was overwhelmed by his advice, so much so that she didn't know what to say. "That... I... what you're trying to say is-"

"I'm saying you should try and take things one day at a time."

She repeated that thought, closing her eyes and envisioning it. A slowed-down pace. Adequate time for herself, maybe even an occasional afternoon nap or a chance to sit down with a good book. How wonderful would that be?

The fantasy didn't last. It shattered like glass when turned back to reality and said, "That's not really an option. Did you hear about the inspection yesterday?"

"Tammy mentioned it but didn't elaborate. What happened?"

"Well..."

Dorothy recounted everything that transpired during her surprise review. Reliving the events brought back some of the trauma, causing her panic and even making her voice crack a few times. Whenever it got too much, Coye reminded her not to rush things, and Dorothy would slow down to calm herself before continuing. Other than the part where Gloria implied she should seduce Coye, Dorothy shared every last detail with him, no matter how painful.

"Shit. I knew things were bad, but... not that bad..." Coye sighed.

"It's not like I go around talking about it, you know? That'd be awful for morale... and it's not like we can't still turn it around. Or... maybe it is too late?" The poor woman lowered her head and ran her hand through her hair. "I just don't know anymore..."

"If you stick around, it looks like I've got a lot of work ahead of me."

"Coye..." Dorothy smiled softly but laughed at his proposition. "You're just one Silver-ranked adventurer. There's only so much you can do. Doing even more than you already are will just make you end up like me. Tired, ragged, rundown, and on the verge of giving up..."

"I can make my own choices, Dorothy. I'm not a kid."

"I... I know that. I didn't mean to imply that- I... ah..." her tongue-tied, the Guild Mistress clammed up in defeat. "I just don't want you to push yourself for my sake..." Dorothy muttered.

There was another silence- the longest one yet. Dorothy thought for sure Coye had left. Had she finally said the wrong thing and pushed him away? She hoped not, but-

"Can you do me a favor?" Coye asked, taking her by surprise.

"What? Oh, ah... y-yes? What is it?"

"Could you just... shut up for a minute?"

"...Uh?"

"I mean it. Stop talking." Coye wasn't asking. He was commanding. His soft voice took on a harsher tone that compelled her to listen. "Understand?"

"Yes," Dorothy answered so fast that she surprised herself. Why did she just say that agree so mindlessly? It slipped out, and before she knew it, she did as she was told. Plenty of people told her to shut up, but this was different.

When Coye was the one doing it, resisting became futile.

"Good," satisfied with her compliance, Dorothy heard Coye take a deep breath as he readied himself to say what was needed. "Don't you think it's hypocritical to tell me I'm only one person when you're trying to do everything yourself? Just because you feel bad that your town propped you up doesn't mean you have to go your entire life without relying on other people."

"I... I don't think that's entirely true, that's-"

"I said shut up."

"Y-Yes, Coye... sorry, Coye..." Dorothy responded breathily.

"Seriously, you always try pretending like you're so much stronger than you are but look where it got you. Would it really be so bad if you tried reaching out more often? People might understand you better if you did. Who knows what might happen if you made an effort to change and be more genuine?"

Dorothy hung on his every word as Coye's unexpected wisdom hit hard. She didn't know what to say other than that he was right about everything. Asking people for help was difficult, and she always tried doing things herself if she could. This stubbornness might've made her harder to work with than Dorothy realized, making her wonder if he had a point about her approachability.

"Are you listening?" His stern voice cut through the darkness straight to her heart.

"Y-Yes," Dorothy stammered, snapping out of her self-reflection. It was tempting to remain silent as she listened to Coye talk. Having him tell her what to do comforted her in a way she couldn't quantify. "I'm sorry, that was just... a lot to take in. I-I think you're right, and I've avoided that fact for a long time. Having someone spell it out for me makes it harder to ignore. Thank you... for, um, for telling me all of this..."

"Don't make me have to tell you again."

She gulped and nodded submissively even though he couldn't even see it. Dorothy felt stupid afterward, but her body just responded without thinking again. The next thing she knew, she was staring at her floor again.

"How am I supposed to ask for help, though? Besides you, the only people that I can actually trust with things are-"

"Don't think about that for today. Keep it in mind, but try not to dwell on it. Stay in bed. Rest. Don't even think about work right now. If you can clear your head and pull yourself out of this, we'll talk about it tomorrow, the day after, or whenever you're ready. Okay? Will you do that for me?"

Dorothy wanted to say that of course she would, but her rational mind got in the way of her blind obedience this time around. "But... what about Tammy? Is she doing alright? Gods, I kept ignoring her this morning, but she must be-"

"Tammy's okay. Everything's under control. The Guild is running just fine."

"It... it is?" Dorothy blinked. "How? Tammy is-"

"I found Tammy some help, and that's all you need to know. I told you not to worry about work, didn't I?"

Feeling shame for some inexplicable reason, Dorothy shrank in place and pulled the blankets tighter around her. "Yes, I'm sorry for not listening. I'm so sorry."

"You're okay, but don't do it again. Got it?" Coye used his commanding voice again, only this time it reverberated through Dorothy's entire body. She gulped yet again, fluttery sensations coursing through her. "Just do what I say and stop thinking so much."

"Yes, Coye..." Dorothy purred in a low, soft voice draped in total obedience.

"Good girl," the boy threw in as a joke.

He should've known that Dorothy wasn't in the right frame of mind to recognize humor. Her eyes widened, she clutched her chest, and her breathing grew heavy. Was it happening again? No... this... this was different. What even was this? Never before in all her life had Dorothy felt so... absorbed and totally free.

Even the comfortable nothingness of acting like a husk couldn't compare to the way it felt to mindlessly follow Coye's-

"Dorothy?" Coye called out after she'd remained silent for much longer than she'd meant to.

"Ah- oh... um... ahaha..." fighting against her stomach full of butterflies, Dorothy shook her head and tried to center herself. "I think I took you a little too seriously when you told me to stop thinking... I-I basically froze up there for a second..."

"That's okay. I'm just happy to see you're listening to me."

"Yeah? Ahaha... maybe you should try telling me what to do more often, then?" Dorothy blurted out before wondering where that had come from and why she'd said it.

"I will if you keep acting stupid," Coye teased. "You're supposed to be smart. Act like it."

"Okay," Dorothy lowered her head and struggled to fight against the crooked smile creeping across her blushing face. "So, I'll rest for today, and then...?"

"We'll see how you're feeling tomorrow. If you're doing better, we can discuss what we'll do about the Guild. I'll bring Suzette. She's really smart when it comes to business and stuff, so I bet she'd have good advice."

"Oh. I'd hate to be a bother, I-"

"Dorothy."

"R-Right, right... that sounds, um... nice...?" Dorothy struggled at the thought of Suzette going out of her way to help out, unaware she was already co-manning the front desk at that very moment. "It'll be hard for me to talk about the problems the Guild is facing, but... I'll try my best to be honest."

"That's all I want."

Why did Coye have to make things so hard for her? She was so close to giving up forever, and all it took for Dorothy to reconsider everything was for him to show up and chat with her. His mere presence made it so things weren't as hopeless as they were before.

Would Dorothy go back to that if Coye left? She tried not to think about it, but it was too frightening not to imagine. Dorothy didn't want him to go. After grappling with her anxiety, she found the courage to ask about his plans.

"How long were you planning on staying with me, Coye...?"

"Why? Did you want me to leave?"

"N-No! It's just... we've already been talking for quite a while, so I was worried you might be getting bored of me..."

"Well, I'm not. I'm not leaving until you feel better, either. Didn't I already tell you that?"

"Until I feel better, huh...?" Dorothy paused as her mind drifted away. "What's to stop me from saying I'm not feeling any better so that you'll stay here and talk with me? I could keep you all day if I wanted, couldn't I?"

"You could, but that would be awful forward of you."

"Ah... I, um, I-I guess it would...?"

"Well, you wanted me to tell you what to do. Right? I say go for it. Be selfish."

Dorothy stood from the bed. Her legs ached, and her body struggled with every step, floorboards creaking under her weight, but she made it to the door with the blanket still wrapped tight around her. She turned her back to it, sat down, and reclined.

"Coye? I'm not feeling better at all. I think you'll have to stay until you've caught me up to speed on all the different quests you've taken lately... maybe even longer..."

Dorothy heard Coye on the other side of the door sit down and lean his back against it just as she did. "How long has it even been since we've done that?"

"Too long..."

"I'd love to, but I don't know if I can handle it. I'm pretty soft-spoken. My throat might start hurting after a couple of hours."

"Eschal could give you something for that, as long as you could afford it..."

"I reason I could."

"Yeah? Well... I guess you'd better start talking, then..."