Coye 5.11 (Patreon)

Chapter 11 - Dorothy’s Week 5 - Some Like it Hot

Dorothy wasn't feeling great that morning, what with all the running around she did the day before. When she said she was going to do something, Dorothy put her all into it. She didn't just visit a couple of Cransmere's lords to beg for new quests; she ended up visiting all of them. While they didn't all have time to meet with her, most who did proved worth the effort.

After listening to countless complaints from entitled rich people about their minute problems, Dorothy returned home late with a huge stack of work for her lucky heroes.

She'd spent the entire night formatting all the notes she'd taken into the posters that now hung proudly from the quest board. It cost her any and all sleep she could've hoped for, but now things might start looking up after she'd had some rest. All those quests wouldn't mean a thing if there wasn't someone at the front desk to accept them, though, so sleep would have to wait for later.

Dorothy couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten so much exercise. Why was it that the nobility all insisted on having such lavish mansions?

'Follow me to my study on the third story, Miss Whittle.'

'Why don't you meet me in my foyer in the east wing?'

'I forgot something in the second-level basement. Would you mind following along?'

It was nonsense- complete and utter nonsense- especially given how fat many nobles were. Even though they had servants to run around for them, Dorothy would never understand why anyone would ever want to live in such gigantic houses with so many stairs. Maybe that was just the country girl in her doing the thinking, but the pain in her wobbly legs hadn't settled down even a bit since coming home.

Despite the lack of sleep and everything else, Dorothy couldn't deny how gratifying it felt to solve one of the Guild's problems for once. The new quests would hopefully last for a few weeks, but she could always pay some visits to Cransmere's wealthy merchants sometime soon if it was absolutely necessary.

Tammy had the day off, meaning Dorothy was alone to help adventurers register their quests. A few were polite enough to ask her for advice on the monsters they would be going up against, while most simply showed her what they were taking and left without many words. It was a quiet morning, a rarity these days.

It occurred to Dorothy there was a chance things could actually go well for her today. After what a rough week she'd had so far, it was hard to believe that remained a legitimate possibility. The thought of a peaceful day brought her exhausted mind calmness.

Dorothy was feeling so good that morning that her drifting mind could even think about Coye without breaking out into a stressed panic. She was lonely at the desk and couldn't help herself from wondering what he was up to this morning as she gazed into her coffee with a vacant smile. If he was still living here, he would be in the cafeteria right about now, helping himself to some breakfast. That, or he'd just be getting back all covered in sweat from a round of early-morning training.

The Guild Mistress gulped and felt a rising heat in her cheeks, but she brushed it off and found herself hoping that Coye was eating alright. Surely he was. Dorothy doubted Byng or Suzette was letting him go hungry, but he always told her how he couldn't cook for himself, and it was in her nature to worry. If anything, she should've been worried about the opposite. Byng and Suzette looked like they would've fattened him up before neglecting to feed him.

Dorothy giggled at the thought of a fat half-elf. Coye would probably look funny, she assumed.

The longer Dorothy dwelled on Coye, the more her guilt started catching up with the poor girl. She was tired of getting so nervous in his presence and wanted nothing more than for things to return to the way they were. Dorothy wanted to talk to him again, to sit down and have Coye tell her about his recent quests, or to ramble about different monsters while he sat there listening with that vacant yet pleased grin on his face that she'd come to know so well.

Maybe even more than that, Dorothy wanted to see his card collection.

Plenty of her adventurers played the RealMonster trading card game, and you could often hear the slapping of cards on tables out in the cafeteria during lazy afternoons or quiet evenings. Dorothy had tried once or twice to serve conversation with a few of her adventurers who enjoyed the game, but it always proved awkward. She didn't have the charisma it took to break the boundary between being someone's boss and being their friend, so even the ones she might've had a chance at getting to know were put off by her attempts.

Dorothy wondered whether or not talking about RealMonster cards would be another of the many things she could rely only on Coye for.

Sometimes, he really did feel like a hero out of one of those fairytale books she loved to read as a child. Coye was a dashing hero who showed up whenever she needed him most. It was almost romantic, or it would've been if Dorothy didn't think she looked more like the shriveled-up witch the hero would have to slay to rescue the Princess.

Coye might've been a hero, but he wasn't hers. She didn't have a hero, despite how desperately she needed one. Wouldn't it be nice if he was, though...? Not in an inappropriate fashion, of course, but...

The nervousness was starting to kick in. She'd thought about Coye for longer than her overtaxed mind could handle, and Dorothy needed to distract herself. She lifted her steaming hot coffee to her lips, ready to take in that bitter brew hoping it might keep her up a little longer.

Before Dorothy could take the first step, a lightning-infused kick shattered the front door to the Guild. Pieces of blackened wood charred by electricity exploded off in many directions. Dorothy screamed, her reflexes kicking in as she reeled backward and spilled the scalding hot coffee all over her entire chest.

The pain was harrowing, and it was by far one of the most unbearable experiences Dorothy had ever lived through. She'd only just poured the cup, and now it was burning her pale flesh through her clothes, singeing her collar and the upper half of her breasts. Suffering, Dorothy started to cry on the spot as her glasses fell from her face. She didn't even notice the person stomping straight toward the desk.

Britni had arrived, and there was blood lust in her eyes and little regard for anything else. She slammed her fist on the counter, her sheer strength causing multitudes of the various monster trophies scattered throughout the room to jostle and shake.

"What the fuck are you crying about? Get over yourself already and find me a quest that'll let me kill as many fucking monsters as possible in a short amount of time!" Britni demanded.

"Y-You scared me so much that I... I...! Gods, it hurts so much...!!" Dorothy blubbered, whimpering as she rubbed at her outfit to try and take some of the pain away.

Britni remained unimpressed and rolled her eyes. "Oh, whatever. It's just coffee, you drama queen. Everyone else here suffers way worse shit on the job. You can suck it up if we can!"

Dorothy ripped off the first layer of her top, several buttons flying off. Her necktie soon followed, and she even went as far as tearing off the highest couple of buttons from her dress shirt. She needed air, even if it exposed her cleavage in the process.

It looked awful. Dorothy's skin was scorched red, and she'd obviously suffered a legitimate burn. Dorothy looked down at the affected area, saw the wound, and began panicking. "No... no, no, no...!!"

At that point, Britni calmed down enough to feel more than a small measure of guilt. Dorothy was soft and weak, which was partially why she had such a great distaste for her. Even so, Britni reminded herself that it wasn't like the Guild Mistress was trained to withstand damage like she and many other adventurers were. She was just an average human, and her pain was entirely Britni's fault.

She grumbled and stuffed her hand in her purse, rifling through several glass bottles of Tiph's special Dream Defense elixir and other assorted party favors the alchemist had supplied her with. Britni rarely used any of the drugs, but it didn't hurt to have options when it came to getting fucked up.

It took her a moment, but after sorting through everything, Britni finally tracked down one of Tiph's healing potions.

"Look- I'm sorry, or whatever. I'm in a really bad fucking mood, and I didn't mean for... this to scare you. Take this and shut up about it.- you'll feel a lot better." Britni offered the potion to Dorothy, looking away with a frown and a slightly embarrassed blush.

"O-Oh?" Dorothy was shocked by this display of basic human decency coming from Britni of all people. She weakly extended her hand and took the potion, inspecting a closer. It certainly wasn't one of the ones that the Association's subscription service offered. It was many shades pinker than most healing potions Dorothy had ever seen, and it sparkled like there was glitter inside.

"Thank you, Britni, b-but... what exactly is this?"

"What the fuck do you think it is?!" Britni clapped back. It was already embarrassing enough to take pity on her and actually help Dorothy out. She didn't want to have to explain anything further. "It's a healing potion, duh. Shouldn't you, like, know that by now? Drink it before I change my mind!"

"I sort of figured that out, w-what I meant to ask was if Tiph-"

"Yes, it's one of hers. Doesn't mean it's shady or anything. Do you really think I'd use this opportunity to drug you or some shit? Yeah, right. Just take a few sips, alright? You're not gonna need to drink much to heal a burn that bad. Tiph's shit is pretty potent."

"S-Sorry, um, thank you..." Dorothy stared at the glittering vial and then at Britni. It was such a shallow show of compassion, but it meant a lot coming from her of all people. Dorothy gulped down the instructed amount and soon felt a pleasant tingling sensation on her burned flesh.

The color returned to normal, and the pain stopped, causing Dorothy to sigh with sweet relief. "Oh, Gods... that's so much better..."

"Good," Britni nodded but remained as standoffish. She extended one of her painted nails at the Guild Mistress, gesturing at Dorothy's clothes. "The next thing you need to do is use this as an opportunity to change out of that shit you always wear and find something that makes you look less like somebody's grandma."

Then, there was a twinkle in Britni's eye as she inspected Dorothy closer. Her hand closed the distance, pulling open Dorothy's exposed shirt so that her breasts were even more viewable.

"B-Britni!? What do you think you're-"

"I'm checking out the goods, dumbass. All that heavy shit you wear covers up these fat tits of yours. Find a way to show them off better and maybe you won't look like a bloated Vodnik that someone dressed up in secondhand rags as a joke."

"Ah... ahaha..." Dorothy pulled away from the blatant sexual harassment, her face now redder than her burned skin ever was. She really wished she didn't know what a Vodnik was right about now. Otherwise, that insult could've flown right over her head, and her fragile self-esteem would've remained none the wiser.

"Thanks?" Dorothy said, pulling her coffee-covered shirt closed tight. "A-Anyway, about the door-"

"Just take it from my account," Britni sighed. "Same as Milse."

"Sure thing..." Dorothy nodded meekly. "You said you wanted a quest?"

"Yeah, but do you have any idea if my so-called friends are back yet?"

"No. I'm not sure where Marlie is, but Coco and Tiph haven't returned yet..."

"Typical," Britni huffed heavily with her nostrils. "Friends are never there when you need 'em."

"I, um... I wouldn't know..." Dorothy replied on instinct, not catching her self-inflicted insult until it was too late.

"Your words, not mine," Britni smirked and went back to business as usual as far as it came to putting down the boss. "Anyway, I want something where I can kill a lot of shit all at once. Got some stress to work out. I know there's not a lot on the board lately, but-"

"Actually," Dorothy gave the adventurer a weary smile. "I put in a lot of work yesterday and wrangled up some new quests. We should be set for the next couple of weeks."

"No shit?" Britni crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, a little impressed. "How'd you pull that off? did you go around sucking dick in exchange for quests, or what?"

"Of course not!!" Dorothy yelled. "I-I-I've never-"

"Really? Never? You could've fooled me."

"Wait. Y-You're making fun of me, aren't you...?"

"Who, me?" Britni laughed. "Never."

Dorothy sighed, accepting the teasing so she could move on. "Okay, well, I think I know a quest that might suit you well..." she paused before explaining the details.

It was a little funny that she'd be sending Britni of all people out on this one, but Dorothy knew she couldn't tell the whole story. A certain someone might end up in trouble if Britni found out. That said, she was perfect for the job.

"There was an incident with a pair of adventurers last week. While on an unrelated quest, they stumbled upon a Gargant hive and after escaping, they tried to seal it up through explosives. This... um, well-intentioned mistake only riled the colony up, and that whole region has been swarmed ever since. If left unchecked, they might swallow up the entire ecosystem, and one of the lords I was talking to-"

"So, to cut to the chase- you need someone to swoop in and smash some bugs?" Britni smirked and cracked her knuckles. "Nice! That, like, totally sounds like something I could handle. What kind of dumbasses would make a rookie mistake like that, though? I hope you seriously chewed them out, Dorth."

"I've already forgotten who did this or that," Dorothy scratched her head. "These things happen. We're just lucky it wasn't near any major settlements or anything, ahaha..."

"Guess so," Britni shrugged, caring little. "Welp, whatever. I'll go grab the stupid poster and gear up. If I don't make it back today, tell my so-called friends what's up."

"Sure thing," Dorothy offered a tired smile and watched Britni leave the room.

Typically, sending a single Silver-ranked adventurer to put down wave after wave of Gargants was something Dorothy would never dream of approving. This was a job for a party of four or five, but Britni was an exception. Out of all the Silver-ranked adventurers Dorothy had in her roster, Britni was the closest one to closing the chasm between silver and gold, and it wasn't even close.

Britni wasn't simply strong- she was a monster. Her strength was almost unrivaled; she could cross large distances without a horse when her party wasn't slowing her down, and Dorothy had no doubt that Britni had tons of tricks she didn't even know about.

Really, Dorothy was expecting Britni to get a letter from the Ranking Committee offering her a rank-up quest by the end of the year, though it was hard to tell when that might happen. The Ranking Committee was a stealthy cabal within the Association that monitored quest reports, write-ups, and statements from Guild Masters to determine who got promoted and when. Many disliked how vague the system was, as ranking up mainly boiled down to 'work harder and hope you stand out'.

Even Dorothy didn't know how adventurers were chosen beyond that, though she was allowed to expedite the process by writing letters of recommendation, which had at least some merit since she'd helped along multiple promotions over the last few years. Some adventurers believed their performances were being monitored more directly by the Guild through scrying magic or other nonsense, but those rumors were mostly unfounded.

Bureaucracy was never quite as conspiratorial as it was boring.

In any case, Dorothy was just relieved the situation would be taken care of. The nobleman who put in the quest apparently owned land in the same general area and was looking to build a new vacation villa out in those parts. In a strange turn of events, Coye and Byng inadvertently helped her out by setting up that quest opportunity. Funny things worked out the way they did at times.

Now that Britni was taken care of, Dorothy's chief concern was doing something about her ruined outfit. She obviously couldn't work with her chest exposed, so she went to her bedroom on the third floor. At least Britni's healing potion helped clear up most of the ache in her legs, and the stairs didn't bother her.

While digging through her wardrobe, Dorothy couldn't help remembering Britni's advice. She wondered if she even had anything that wouldn't make her look like a grandma? Dorothy severely doubted it, but there was nothing wrong with double-checking...