Chapter 15 Revamp (Patreon)

I keep getting the numbers wrong. This time, I actually counted them. There are only 3 more chapters for real this time that need to be revamped before major work on the vol 1 release is done. This will get done in a few days, mark my words.

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It turns out that sex is way different than I was expecting. Imagine that. All the chatty maids who gossiped around the castle about what Father would do to 'em after he got his hands on them always made it out to be kinda scary, if weirdly exciting. The real thing, though? It's soooo much better than anything those wenches made it out to be.

I feel bad about how much we got sidetracked, but after everything I've been through lately, it felt nice to have a couple of days where I could just stop thinking and have some fun. That doesn’t mean that Boss isn't right, though. We really do gotta stop while we're ahead and get back into the saddle.

There's work to be done, and it ain't like the enemy is gonna sit there waiting for us to get our rocks off over and over.

I've been lying in bed for a good fifteen minutes, and by now, Boss has already done all his morning junk and left me alone to head downstairs. Now that the post-orgasm bliss is finally starting to clear up, it's time to force my lazy ass to get up off the bed and join him.

The first thing I do is stretch myself out and take in a fresh breath of air.

A calm, spring breeze is wafting in through the open window that Boss opened up. He's hoping that it'll help air out the smell of all the crazy sex we've been having, but I dunno about that. The scent is pretty damn thick, but at least the air feels really damn nice on my naked, sweaty skin.

So this is what it feels like to be free, huh? It's so strange. It may have only been a few days since coming here, but I feel better than ever before. I'm not sure if what I’m feeling is relief from having finally escaped that shitty palace and all the shitty people inside it or happiness caused by Boss and all the lewd fun we've been having, but it doesn't really matter.

Speaking of Boss, I have trouble believing that bastard at times... Goddesses above and below, I still can't get over that thing he said the other day. Love at first sight? Really? Doesn't he know how embarrassing that shit sounds!

Ugh...

The worst part is, it's not like I can think of a better way to put it, either... still, that doesn't mean he's right!

And even if he was right and what we have is kind of similar to... love at first sight... then whatever. That just means it'll be easier to wrap him around my finger so I can make him into the best damn Guild Master there is.

The creaky bed makes a rickety, groaning sound as I sit up and crack my back, determined to get up and get moving. I duck into the bathroom and wash myself up real quick. Man, I still can't believe a shitty little place like this actually has running arcane tech faucets and even a bathtub. That was one thing I thought I'd definitely have to give up on after leaving Imperalis, but I guess I'm luckier than I thought.

After a quick rinse with some soap and water, I head to the nearby desk, where I placed my armor set the other day. My get-up is sitting on top of a pile of Boss's crappy porno books, and I waste no time suiting up. As I pull on my stockings and fasten their golden belt buckles, I remember how I stole this armor and my sword from one of Father's giant walk-in closets.

I was in a rush to get away from the palace after that big argument we had, and there was no way I was gonna be able to sneak in and raid the armory with such short notice. I had to make do with what I could, and this is what I ended up with. There were all kinds of skimpy get-ups and lingerie in his closet for his wenches, but this was just about the only thing I could find that had actual armor plating.

Boss hasn't stopped making fun of me over it, but loads of chicks wear bikini armor. Hell, some Mages fight in their fucking pajamas, and no one bats an eye at that! Also, it ain't like he has the money to get me a better armor set himself, so he should shut up about it.

...Ugh, the more I think about this armor, the more it keeps reminding me about my Father. Been having a lovely few days without thinking about that bastard, but I can't keep ignoring the past forever. Funny how hard I was on Boss in the name of trying to help him get over his issues, but I still got tons of mine that I need to work through.

Most of those issues stem from one source...

The esteemed King Theostus Lundreame, Protector of the Realm of Karnalle, Sovereign of the Seven Provinces, first of his name, blah, blah, blah. For a man with so many fucking titles, 'good dad' sure as shit ain't one of them. It's embarrassing to admit, but this girl knows damn well where all her daddy issues come from. Hell, when I was growing up, my uncle and my butler were better father figures to me than that jackass.

He never had my back when it came to anything. Whether it was learning to use a sword, getting permission to explore the castle, or dropping out of those stupid girly classes, his answer was the same shit over and over again.

‘Ask your Mother,’ He’d say, which might as well just have been a one-way ticket to the nope zone.

Even worse, Father was always too busy fucking every cheap slut in the kingdom to ever spend time with me, his firstborn daughter... well, his first officially recognized daughter, but that’s a whole other can of worms. My crappy relationship with him ain't the only reason I left home, but it sure as hell was one of the biggest.

Eh. I'm doing ok for myself, I s'pose. I mean, it's not like I'm dressed up like a hooker or sharing a bed with some older dude I hardly know, right?

Whoops.

Guess Father should've paid less attention to his whores and more attention to me, but hey, it's way too late for that.

Besides, this whole thing I got going on with Boss isn't as bad as it looks, really. Even though it seems sketchy, it doesn't mean it actually is! I think.

Either way, I got reasons for doing what I'm doing with him. Damn good reasons, too. For now, I just need to stick close to Boss and make sure he trusts me because I can't risk screwing everything up.

I know I just met the guy, but there's so much potential here that it's almost crazy. Whenever I look into those dreamy eyes of his, I see a man without limits. A man who could change the world if he actually put in the damn effort. He's got something crazy in him just waiting to break out, mark my words, and I feel like that factor could make him the key to all of my plans.

Look at me go, now I'm all giddy thinking about Boss... gah.

C'mon, Sam. This ain't like you! Forget all that no-good mushy stuff for a minute and finish getting ready. With forced determination, I slip into the rest of my armor, yank on my gloves, and adjust the magic bandage that covers up the scar on my nose. After a look in the mirror to make sure I'm looking hot to trot, I slap both my cheeks to fire me up, and then I head downstairs.

The dangerous feeling of these crappy stairs under my boots reminds me that Boss is correct. We gotta get some more adventurers and earn more gold because this place desperately needs some proper care. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed the harem thing so hard since it means we'll be limiting the kind of adventurers we're looking for... but I'm gonna chalk that one up to my own selfishness.

I'll own it, I wanna mess around with other chicks, and I ain't afraid of admitting it. It'll be fine. It’s not like there aren't tons of other badass babes out there looking for work, right? Wait... hold on a sec.

I stop right there halfway down the stairs, realization hitting me like a ton of bricks to the face. "Zuzu...!" I blurt out loud, cringing at myself for being so dumb.

"Bless you," Boss chimes in from somewhere down below.

I feel a sweat break out on my brow as I remember that I didn't even tell my best friend I was running away from home. I talked with her about it a few times, and I think she knew I'd do it eventually, but Zuzu must be so upset that I took off without letting her know!

Damn it, Sam. She's basically your sister, and you ran away without a word!

I'm so embarrassed. I told myself I'd send Zuzu a letter once I got situated somewhere, but... I kept forgetting because of all the sex.

Angry at myself, I grab hold of both of my twintails and yank both of 'em until my scalp hurts. Zuzu's probably doing worse, so I can suck it up.

That poor girl is all alone in her dusty old tower right about now, and I abandoned her... meanwhile, I'm here in Dewhurst screwing around with my new man as I encourage him to build a harem of all things, and...

Wait, wait, wait.

Crazy idea incoming.

Didn't Father try and talk Zuzu into going out and getting a job a couple of years ago? Yeah, I totally remember that happening! She went and registered as an adventurer, only to come right back home after she got her license. She never used it, but Father was just happy to see her leave the castle for a bit.

Goddesses know that Zuzu is single, and she's cute as hell. Sure, she might be more than a little bit weird, but what Mage isn't? This... this could actually work, couldn't it? Oh, Sam. You devilish bitch, you've done it again!

Assuming she's up for it, that is.

Zuzu might not wanna come out here to become an adventurer for real since she has that thing going on with her magic. It also might be kinda risky to send her a letter since it's not like anyone else would ever send her mail aside from all the alchemy shops mailing her coupons for frog's breath or some shit like that. I doubt anyone would expect me to send a letter to anyone, though.

It’s no secret that words aren't exactly this Princess's specialty.

Ok, that does it. I’ll write to Zuzu! Even if she says no, then at least she’ll know I'm safe and sound. And if she says yes, then... wait... if she says yes and things go according to plan, then if she's interested in Boss, we'd end up in the same bed together, wouldn't we?

Whoa... that's... I mean, yeah, growing up, I always had a crush on her kinda, and I've spent the night in her tower hundreds of times, but I don't know if I ever really thought about hooking up with her until now.

Geez... it makes me feel super crazy lewd to even think about it. Both of us, harem sisters to the same man... hell, we'd actually end up as real sisters if that happened.

Hot damn.

Before I get lost in my own thoughts any more than I already have, reality suddenly snaps back into place as I hear Boss's voice calling out to me from nearby.

"Sam, you simply must take better care of yourself. This is unbecoming, if not downright embarrassing." He says, standing beside me on the stairs and wiping off a trail of drool from my chin using a white handkerchief from his pocket. "Surely you're not so horny that you can't even take ten steps away from the bed without falling victim to your idle fantasies, right?"

"Wha?!" I jerk away from him, almost snapping a plank of wood beneath my foot. He winces as it happens, but at least it didn't actually break.

"Oh, Fuck off, Boss!" My cheeks burn hot as I snap out of the stupid lewd trance I winded up in, and I give him a punch on the shoulder just a little rougher than I meant to. I can see him wince again, but he shrugs it off for my sake so that I don't feel bad about accidentally hurting him.

Damn it, why does he always gotta go and do so much cute crap like that...?

I cross my arms and make a pouty face. "Even if I really was having lewd daydreams, then whose fault is that, huh, asshole?"

Undeterred, he confidently replies, "Yours. I don't see why it would be anyone else's."

"Nuh-uh! I've always been a pretty lewd girl, I guess... but..."

Raising an eyebrow, Boss tilts his head. "But?"

I groan and start walking down the stairs without him, trying to hide how damn big my blush is getting. "I dunno, you tell me! Being around you makes me feel like I wanna be the lewdest version of myself possible!"

From over my shoulder, he says, "All I'm hearing is that you're a dirty girl and that your inner floodgates have been opened."

Even more embarrassment bubbles under the surface of my skin, and I bite my lower lip. Without looking back, I stomp my foot on the ground and give that bastard a warning. "Gods, I am gonna hit you SO damn hard...!"

And then, making things even worse for me, the jerk cracks a stupid smile and starts laughing at my threat while descending the stairs. Gods, what a... a total dumbass, right? It's not like he looks cute as hell when he laughs like that or anything...

I know what'll shut him up something good. Once he's back on ground level with me, I turn to face him, grab him by his collar, and pull Boss in for a deep kiss. He's taken off guard at first, but then he starts kissing me back hard. He's so damn good with his tongue that I feel a slight tingle coming on, so I pull away from the kiss before it can get even hotter, and we end up getting sidetracked again.

He smirks, peering at me over the rim of his glasses. I was trying to make him embarrassed, but it didn’t have that effect at all. "What was that for?"

"That... that was to teach you not to laugh at me!" His comment makes me stammer, and I reflexively hit him in the shoulder again. This time around, my punch is even more powerful, and he's sent backward, his elbow slamming into the railing on the stairs and breaking off a chunk.

Damn it, Sam.

He stares at the property damage with a weary expression but shrugs his shoulders and ignores it. "Consider my lesson learned," He sighs, making sure to prop up a sarcastic smile.

Gah, that sexy grin of his... fucking damn, damn, damn it...! This backfired, bad!

"Whatever..." I fold my arms once again and turn away from him, storming off towards the nearest table. I keep getting flustered, so I'm just gonna move on before he gets the upper hand on me. "Make yourself useful and grab me a pen and some paper, Boss. I gotta make a booty call."