New Chapter 76 Rewrite (Patreon)

Because ch 207 was already mostly done, I wanted to move forward with getting more of the necessary rewrites done. This one was so easy I could knock it out in under a day.

What changed? Contradictingly, a lot and very little. Almost the entire chapter is 'the same' in terms of what happens, but the tone is drastically different to match the new version of GM's meeting with Luxy. It's still emotional, but rather than full on depressive I think it gives a really deep look into GM's psyche and the kind of person he wants to become.

Ultimately, unlike in the old version, GM takes his depression and instead of wallowing in it he uses it as forward momentum to further push himself onward.

The text has been 100% redone and is now two chapters, with an added 1,000 or so new words.

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It still hasn’t really settled in that I promised to eventually face my destiny, even if the showdown with the Demon Lord could be years and years away from actually happening. Luxy wouldn’t confirm or deny anything specific about how bad the situation actually is, saying things were terrible, yes, but that I could also continue my leisurely, feel-good, day-to-day escapades with the girls.

I’m not sure what to believe.

So many thoughts are running through my head to the point where it’s making thinking itself feel like a painful and mountainous chore. All I know is I have to finally tell the women in my life everything I haven’t been entirely honest about. I’m not sure how Sam will react, or Meri, for that matter. Both girls are very touchy when it comes to the Demon Lord, and I hope they’ll be able to forgive me for keeping this secret for so long.

To be fair, it’s not like I was able to confirm my grandpa’s statement until today, but still...

Sam will probably get pumped up, but Meri is only starting to bloom out of her shell. There’s no way of knowing how long her newly-acquired bravery might last once she knows I plan on aiming at the greatest of evils...

As for dear, devoted, Zutiria, she’ll support any decision I make, I’m sure. That just leaves my oldest supporter, and I frankly don’t know how Opalina will react. Even though she looked after me since I was ten, I never told her about my grandpa’s presumptuous ideas for my career path. I’m afraid she’ll be disappointed in me for lying to her all these years... or even worse, Opal could get mad I didn’t tell her sooner...

Well, If nothing else, at least I can fuck better now. Glad I have my priorities straight.

After exiting my office, I leave a brief note on a table in the entrance hall where everyone can see it. I tell the girls that the meeting went rough, and I’ll be resting in the bedroom for most of the day, and they should head over to Helpful Heals if they want to be fed. I need a full-on break day, and that includes cooking.

Once sheltered in the sanctity of my bedroom, I strip down and change into nothing but my pajama pants. I darken the room as much as I can before taking my glasses off, replacing them as quickly as can be with my sleep mask. Now that the stage is appropriately set for a peaceful rest, I slip under my covers to be alone with my thoughts.

Well... perhaps not alone, per se.

I’m still not thrilled knowing that the bratty Goddess can listen in on my innermost thoughts. She could be observing me this very second. Is it possible for me to ever be truly alone, short of asking Luxy to respect my boundaries? I’d ask right now, but I’m not in the mood to deal with her any longer.

It’s not even that Luxy was that annoying.

Difficult, yes, but I still kept my ground and got everything I wanted out of that meeting. I can deal with difficult people if I absolutely have to. It’s just that as of right now, my head is pounding and swirling, overwhelmed by the maelstrom of inevitability. Talking to her again so soon would remind me that my girls will have to battle the current Demon Lord and his army of darkness one day.

They could get hurt because of me... hells, they could ultimately wind up dead just because they were unlucky enough to be picked by Luxy to join my side. My views on the consent behind my relationships have been comforted since talking to the Goddess, but this is an entirely new ethical issue. I can’t force a girl to do battle against the forces of villainy if she doesn’t agree to it... but maybe Luxy has considered that, too... for all I know, that ‘app’ of hers sorts them out to make sure every girl is up for that sort of thing.

Still, even if they agree to fight the Demon Lord, my adventurers could die and be taken away from me long before that. We’ve had close calls in the past, including one just the day before when they fought the Greater Murdermoth, but this depressing fact seems more real than ever before.

I’m a Guild Master. Seeing adventurers come and go should just be something I’m accustomed to, but because of my limited experiences actually working with adventurers, I can’t say anyone has ever died on a quest that I sent them on.

Still, it could happen at any moment, which is what terrifies me. How can I possibly hope to cope with something that’s such a fundamental part of my job description? It might be naive of me, but after thinking about it for some time here in the darkness of my bedroom, I come to the conclusion that the only way forward is to reject reality and substitute my own. Instead of accepting that the quests I send the girls on could result in their untimely end, I can steel myself and work endlessly in order to ensure this never happens.

I’ll force myself to become a Guild Master unlike any other- a Guild Master so wise and experienced that he’s able to lead his adventurers home safely every single time.

I’ve failed too many times for one lifetime, so I swear right here and now that I won’t ever fail Sam, Zutiria, Meri, or anyone else who puts their hopes in me ever again. I might be depressed, but this isn’t like when Perlshaw was built, and I fell into a downward spiral. I’m not alone anymore, and truthfully, I never was. I just needed to learn how to pull myself up and keep walking down the road that leads to me getting everything I’ve ever wanted.

How can I make certain I become this sort of legendary Guild Master, though? I’ll need to study more. That’s a given, but studying alone won’t be enough to reach the heights which I aspire to.

I guess, all in all, it comes down to my desire to help the girls from afar, doesn’t it? I really need to find an answer to that, as if I could find a way to create a system that would allow me to remotely lead quests and provide real-time advice, feedback, and strategies, I feel I could dramatically increase the odds of any quest I give out.

It’s a shame Luxy wouldn’t elaborate further when it comes to my eyes. She made it sound like there’s a lot more to them than I’m aware of, and the way she phrased it was suspect. Everything I’ve been praying for, huh? That’s an awful big promise to live up to. If it couldn’t just... no, maybe if it... ugh... Gods, my head is starting to bang again the harder I think about this...

I just want to figure things out, but the more I try, the harder my thoughts spin out of control. Maybe I should’ve brought another drink with me because thinking certainly isn’t getting me anywhere...

All of a sudden, I hear a familiar sound pass by overhead- the flapping of wings and the cooing of a dove. I reach over to where I left my glasses and switch them out with my sleep mask to find that Luxy’s faithful servant is standing atop the bedside table along with an obvious gift. The heavenly bird rests on top of a wooden tankard filled with another wonderful-smelling dry Dwarven stout. Guilt hits me hard as I admit that there might be worse things than the Goddess of Light keeping an eye on your thoughts.

I take my time swallowing down the dark brew, savoring the flavor, and letting its bitterness wash away my incessantly churning mind. The further I get down the tankard, the more the alcohol does its job by allowing me a brief respite from myself. I used to drink a lot heavier during my depression, but now that I have a lot more to live for, I just don’t see the need to race to the bottom any longer.

“Thank you, and I’m sorry,” I tell the dove while placing the tankard onto the bedside table. The bird is pretty cute when it isn’t shitting on purpose to piss me off, I’ll admit. When I blink, both it and the tankard are gone without so much as a trace.

I’ve got a decent buzz going on now, and I think I’ll actually be able to get a nap in if I try. I reach for my sleep mask to test this theory out but find fate has other plans for me. The door to my bedroom opens up, and I see a familiar face standing at the entrance.

“Fuckin’ yikes, Lad. Th’ darkest pits’a the Obsidian Abyss ain’t got nothin’ on this shitehole.” Gwin says as she steps forward, her tough, Dwarven boots stomping down hard and heavy on the wooden floor. As she gets closer, she turns her nose up in the air and sniffs. “Ah don’ see no glass, but ya been drinkin’ in bed like me da’ when ‘is favorite Elven brothel’s closed for disinfectin’. Good taste tho’, Lad. By the smell’a things, it seems like yer hidin’ some dry Dwarven stouts from ol’ Gwinnie?”

--- Chapter Break ---

Now that I’m not alone, I sit up properly and throw the blankets off of my torso, revealing my topless body to the Dwarf. “It’s true. I had some just a bit ago. You’ll never find it, though. I’ve gotten better at hiding the bottle.”

Gwin chuckles a few times before blushing and eying my body without much subtlety. “Ya look like some sorta topless, alcoholic vampire,”

“Well, I certainly feel like a topless, alcoholic vampire. Lot on my mind.”

“Ye, well... um... nice pecs, tho’.” The brash Dwarf girl gives me an awkward pair of thumbs up, coupled with an increasingly red blush. “Ah saw yer note. Was comin’ on up ta fix th’ latest casualty of th’ Grekkan’s ongoin’ war with yer Guild’s structural integrity. Ya wan’ ah should come on back later?”

“You can stick around if you want. I just can’t promise to be that engaging of a host right now. Hop on the bed for all I care. You helped build it.” I only notice how awkward that sounded after I said it, but if the invitation into my bed bothered the Dwarf, she doesn’t let it show.

Instead, Gwin closes the door behind her and unbuckles her toolbelt, tossing it on a desk cluttered with Sam and Zutiria’s clothing. Rather than joining me outright, Gwin hops up on the edge of the massive bed and tilts her head to look at me. I’m treated with a stunning sight I’ve never before seen- the glowing eyes of a Dwarf in darkness. Gwin’s eyes practically burn in the absence of light, glowing and shimmering like a pair of green garnets. If I remember right, this helps her species see better in the mountains and caves of their Homerealm, Hal Moldirh.

If I were feeling a bit more like myself, I’d surely tell Gwin how beautiful they make her look, but I’m far from on my a-game right now.

“Ya wanna fuck? Cave ain’t been mined before.” She asks after looking away, presumably to hide her embarrassment.

“Not really. I don’t want you to waste your first time trying to cheer me up when I’m just having an off day. You deserve more than that, Gwin.”

“S’fine...” The fiery Dwarf sighs, perhaps out of relief or perhaps out of disappointment. I’m not sure. I can’t see her face. “Jus’ thought ah’d offer. Wouldn’ mind n’ all that... y’know... if it were you...”

I start thinking things I shouldn’t, which is fine by itself. But since I’m slightly drunk, I soon find myself saying them, which is far from advisable. “What makes me so special? We’ve known each other for what... eight days? Nine?”

This seems to draw out the anger of this Dwarven woman, and she hops fully onto the bed to look down at me. Her face is embarrassed yet annoyed at the same time as she says, “Yer special cause ah think yer cute, ya make me laugh, an ya happen ta be th’ only decent man in this whole town who ain’t a member mah own kin. Fuck’s it matter to ya, Lad? Ya don’ seem th’ type ta pass up free cunt when it stares ya in th’ face.”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s just... seeing how fast things are moving makes me wonder how high our compatibility is... what number are you?” I make the mistake of continuing my drunken contemplation, which unintentionally has the effect of setting Gwin off.

“An ain’t a fuckin’ number... fuckin’ hells, Lad. Dunno shite abou’ what yer arse is on abou’, and I get yer goin’ thru some fuck all with a Goddess or summin’, but come th’ the fuck off it for I slap ya.” She holds back tiny, angry tears, and seeing Gwin respond so angrily makes me hang my head in response.

“Gods, I’m sorry, Gwin. I promise I’m typically a much classier drunk than this... I was just thinking to myself.”

Gwin makes a long, drawn-out ‘pfft’ sound as she rolls her shimmering green eyes. “No ya weren’, ya were thinkin’ at me. Ah was there an’ ah heard it. Stop that shite.”

“Stop thinking to myself...?”

“No, stop thinkin’ in gen’ral. Yer clearly doin’ too much’ve the damn thing. S’great in small doses, but too much an it’ll kill a man.”

I find myself laughing at this simple yet powerful advice. “You know, Gwin, you’re probably right.”

“Nah, ah AM righ’.” She crosses her arms turns around as if to leave. “Ah can still go if ya wan’ that, tho’.”

I reach out to her and grab her wrist before she can get away, and I give her an apologetic smile. “I changed my mind. I’d prefer if you stayed, Gwin.”

“Figures,” She sighs and plops her ass down on the bed. “Ya darn menfolk and yer complicated emotions. Always sayin’ one thing an’ meanin’ somethin’ else...”

That one earns a small laugh from me as I reach out and reach for my sleeping mask. “If I put on my blindfold, will you lay with me, Gwin? You’re always working so hard, I reckon a Dwarf like you could use a nap right about now.”

Gwin stares at me like I just asked something unthinkable, and she breaks off eye contact to look around the room sheepishly. “Ah... if, er, that’s what yer into, ah guess?” Her cheeks redden. “Fuck, ya down’ know how to start slow now do ya, Lad...? Not that ah’m much’ve a romantic m’self by any stretch o’ th’ word, but... y’know...”

“No, oh... no, I didn’t mean it to sound like that...” I laugh and cradle my forehead in my palm. “I meant this sleeping mask. It helps me rest without accidentally opening my eyes and hurting myself.”

“Oh. Righ.” She awkwardly scratches the back of her head before giving me a playful punch in the arm while laughing a deep, Dwarven laugh. “Fuckin’ dumbarse, thought ya were askin’ for some kinky shite! So what, ya wan’ ah should jus’... um... fuck do ya Humans call it again?”

“We call it cuddling,”

“Mmm, that’s it. Ah believe in Dwarvish we call it ‘bein’ a fuckin’ pussy,’ but hey, that’s yet prerogative Lad. C’mon, scoot on over an lemme under th’ blanket, ah s’pose...” Gwin blushes, and despite her words, she’s seemingly all too happy to join me in ‘being a fucking pussy’.

I put on my sleep mask and lift up the covers. The embarrassed Dwarf crawls under them and follows my lead, pushing her body up against my side so I can wrap my arms around her as her newly dedicated big spoon. While I can’t see the girl, I’m entirely convinced that Gwin must be blushing harder than ever before.

“Everyone still training?” I ask her as I rest my chin on top of her short, spiky hair.

“W-Why’re ya askin’, Lad? Am ah not good enough for ya? Ya wan’ me ta go an get’m so they can cheer ya up instead?” An aggressively nervous tone cracks her familiar, confident tomboyish voice, her nervousness overtaking her.

“That’s not what I said, Gwin. Relax.”

“Sorry, sorry...” The young Dwarf sighs, grumbling incoherently as her posture becomes stiff as stone. “Yer feelin’ shite enough on yer own, ya don’ need me an’ ma shite righ’ now. Ah’m jus’ gonna go an- AH!”

Her embarrassment only increases as I take this chance to hug the busty Dwarven lass tighter. Gwin makes a cute grunt, but other than that, she shows no signs of displeasure at the increased connection between our bodies.

“Yer sendin’ me some mixed signals, Lad. Are ya sure you don’ wanna, uh... mess around?” Gwin shifts around in place, which might be a sign of her arousal growing, but I shrink back just a bit.

“No, not today... cuddling is nice, though, isn’t it?”

“Ah mean, ah guess so...” She mumbles, clearly wanting more. I feel bad that I can’t give the Dwarf what she wants right now, but my heart just wouldn’t be in it, and she deserves my full attention whenever we make that jump. “Do y’wanna maybe tell me ‘bout what happened with yer Goddess?”

“Soon. I’m probably going to gather everyone up for a team meeting, so to speak, and even if you don’t live here or anything, you’re still a part of the team in my book. I have a lot to tell everyone.”

“Righ’, well... jus’ lemme know when it’s time...”

“Assuming I feel better, it might be tonight. We have plans to visit the Breeding Tribe soon, and I want to devote the day so tomorrow wouldn’t work.”

“Tonigh’ would be best, mah family jus’ got a big new order in an’ ah’ll be pretty busy fer a while after.”

“Sounds good...” I close my eyes and lean into the blushing Dwarf, only for my thoughts to carry me away soon after. There’s a quietness that grows between us. Soon, the only sound in the room is the beating of our hearts and our breathing.

Gwin senses that this doesn’t bode well, and she offers me a prompt warning. “Didn’ ah tell ya t’knock that shite off? Gonna have t’pull out mah ultimate weapon here if ya don’ go listenin’ to mah advice, Lad. Last warnin’.”

Determined to escape whatever punishment the Dwarven lass has in store for me, I attempt to weasel out of it with humor. “Your ultimate weapon, huh? Gwin, I didn’t know you were holding out on me. Would you mind letting me borrow it? The Guild could certainly use more powerful weapons in our arsenal.”

This does its job in drawing out a deep, bellowing laugh from the red-headed Dwarf. “Ain’t that kinda weapon, ah’m talkin’ ‘bout mah women’s intuition.”

“Is that so? Why don’t you lay it on me, and I’ll be the judge of whether we can use it to slay monsters or not.”