Chapter 153 - Smoke Break (Patreon)

While the situation has me panicked, I come to a logical conclusion very quickly. Its... a strange idea to think about it, but short of being attacked by our enemies through arson- which doesn’t seem to be the case- I can’t think of any other cause for the smell of fire in the air.

I knock casually three times on the female restroom door. “Snow? Are you doing alright in there?”

Giggling ensues from inside, confirming my suspicions right away. “Y-Yes, Myaster! Couldn’t be better! ...Hehehe. Myaster.” Snow says that last part to herself in a dreamy tone of voice like she enjoys the way the word feels when it rolls off the tip of her tongue.

I sigh and enter the room, finding the older maid sitting on the sink with a rolled-up catnip joint. “While I’m relatively chill about harmless drugs such as this, I’m afraid I have to ask why you felt the need to light up in such a circumstance, Snowball.”

“I could have been doing my business, you know...” She laughs casually, contrasting heavily with her usual serious demeanor. “Besides, I wasn’t even gonna smoke the whole thing. I just needed to take the edge off.” Snow puts out the tip of the burning herbal joint and stashes it back inside her tracksuit’s pocket.

“This isn’t entirely about the abduction, is it?”

Sighing from her spot on the sink while stretching out and cracking her back, Snow looks to me with a dopey grin. “You’re too smart for your own good, Myaster. Heehee. No, I got stressed out from having to hear about how perfect Peri and Cherry’s new lives are.”

For a moment, she stares at me straight on as if expecting me to say something. She raises an eyebrow, and then her eyes narrow. “...Well? Aren’t you going to tell me what a jealous, spiteful bitch I am? Gods know I fucking deserve it, nyaa.”

“I’m not going to contribute to your guilt, Snow. I came to check on you because I was worried.”

“And because you want me.” She laughs cheekily, yet it has an undertone of sadness.

I take in a sharp breath of air through my nose and step forward, leaning against the sink so that I’m face to face with the Catfolk woman. “Maybe instead of looking for more reasons to wallow in self-pity, you could actually try and do something about the problem.”

Snow blushes from the close contact between us before laughing it off. “Are you gonna pin me down against the mirror and kiss me, Myaster?” She touches my cheek with a single one of her claws, tracing along down to my chin. “I think you’re going a little crazy because you’ve found something you can’t have, and you want it, nyaa.”

I don’t let her distract me. “And I think you’re going even crazier than that because you’re so desperate to have some sort of control over your life. Does that sound about right?”

“...Instead of psychoanalyzing me, I think I’d have preferred it if you just kissed me.” She sighs and takes her claw away from my face, then jumps down from the sink gracefully.

“If you want to kiss me, Snow, you’re going to have to make that choice yourself. Pressuring you into doing what I want would just be more of the same for you, wouldn’t it?”

The maid’s distant, yellow eyes narrow, and she frowns at me. “I bet you think you’re just oh so charming right about now, don’t you, Myaster?”

“Not really. I just pity the fact that you’re so miserable to the point where you can’t even be happy for the people you love.” Despite knowing full well that I’m playing with fire, I continue my brutally honest assault.

As predicted, Snow does not react well. She pushes my chest with all of her natural Beastfolk strength, and I fall back against the row of toilet stalls, narrowly avoiding tumbling to the ground. “I don’t need your pity! I... I need...”

What she just did to me starts sinking in. The maid is overtaken with shock from her own action, and she covers her mouth. “...Oh, Gods. Myaster...! I’m so sorry, I can’t believe that I just did that, I... oh, nyaa...” She rushes to my side and puts her paws on my shoulders.

“Don’t be sorry, Snow. I’m fine...” She begins dusting me off, and I let out a sigh. “I overstepped my bounds to a degree... even though I stand by what I said.”

The prim and proper woman before me twiddles her thumbs and looks askance. “Right, well... you don’t mind if I have another few puffs to calm me down, do you?”

“By all means.”

Snow groans out of relief, taking out the joint and a match to light it with. True to her word, she only inhales three more times. As a human, this drug has no effect on me, so I just watch the curious and contradictory sight unfold. Already, it has a significant impact on her mood. Snow’s mellow, relaxed smile grows wider by the second as the smoke relaxes her.

“Alright, alright. I’m goooooood now...” She hazily meows, putting out the joint once more and pocketing it again.

“Good, ready to head back and watch the rest of this adventure with me?”

“Of course, Myaster. But, um...” Despite her good mood, she shuffles in place. “For the record, I don’t light up THAT often... just so you know.”

I laugh and shake my head. “Snow, I don’t care. Catnip is harmless, and I’d be more concerned if you didn’t have some way to manage all the stress that serving the Breeding Tribe seems to bring you. Now come on, the girls are likely chatting about what we’re up to, and we don’t want to give them any wrong ideas, do we?”

“I suppose not...” She giggles, albeit unconvincingly.

With that, we return to the office.

“Nah, Snow isn’t gonna budge,” Cherry sighs, her arms folded and her eyes narrow, “Not even if he kisses her in there. As much as we all want it, it just ain’t gonna happen unless she gets her brain scrambled worse than Sam, nyaa.”

“But I want pretty kitty to stay with us forever and ever!! You two aren’t enough maids, and also Daddy wants to fuck her, and so do I!” From within the Pimpfort, Sam whines and stomps her foot down at the prospect of not getting her way.

“Sam, y-you can’t just assume Master will automatically enlist every single woman he meets into his, um... ‘services’... if that pattern were true, we’d all be sharing a bed with Nikita by now.” Meri offers a reasonable assumption.

“GIVE IT TIME!” Sam returns, stubbornly rejecting reality in her trademark way.

“F-For Snow? Or Nikita?!” Meri blushes at the thought.

“BOTH!”

“Do you girls really have nothing better to talk about in my absence?” I sigh, making my presence known.

“Daddy! Welcome back! We’re ready to do the next room now!” Sam excitedly dances in place for whatever reason, and even I can’t deny she looks cute while doing her little jig.

“Are you absolutely sure, Princess? I can give you all some more time to gossip amongst yourselves if you’d like.”

“I think we’re good, nyaa. In fact, I...” Peri starts sniffing the air as soon as Snow and I sit down at our chairs. “That smell...”

“Woah, seriously, Snow?” Cherry looks at the blushing older woman, who coughs and looks in the opposite direction.

“I’m stressed,” The older maid throws her paws up and sighs. “Get off my back, nyaa. We’re all good now.”

“Wait, what’s the matter, Snow?” Meri, sympathetic as ever, calls out to her.

“Nothing, someone just needed to get high apparently, nyaa.” Cherry giggles, making Snow roll her slightly red eyes.

“...Oh.” Meri hangs her head, embarrassed that she thought something was actually wrong.

‘Wonderful, shall we be on our way, then?’ Zutiria draws everyone’s attention by clanging the butt of her staff onto the ground, her tiredness doing nothing for her patience.

No one objects, and Sam rushes off to push open the southern door of the hallway.

This room is a circular chamber about the same size as the one the party was just in. The lighting is much darker, though, and the ever-present magical spotlights of the Pimpfort illuminate two raised platforms in the center of the room. Each platform has a long, vertical, silver pole descending down from the ceiling.

On one platform stands a recognizable woman, that one Elf who burst into the Besthal Pet Shop after the red carpet was rolled out. At the time, she had a trumpet, and she announced Pimpington’s arrival to the captive audience. She’s dressed in a golden micro-bikini just as every other member of the Pimp’s private stripper militia, and it’s of note that she doesn’t seem like she’s carrying any sort of weapon.

Not only that, but in her hand, the Elf holds the opposite boss key. She crosses her arms, cocks her hip to the side, and smiles at the party as they walk towards the platform. “Greetings, adventurers! My name is Shenarah. I have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore. All I know is that there’s a voice in my head telling me I can’t give you this key until one of you three defeats me in an erotic dance-off!”

‘Will the key explode if we try and take it early?’ Zutiria asks immediately, wasting no time.

Shenarah begins sweating and tilts her head at the loaded question. “...Uh. Yes. Yes, it will.” The Elf says with a near monotone, convincing no one.

Cracking my neck, I stretch out and give the order. “Sam.”

“Alright, Daddy, I’ll do it!” The Princess grins and jumps up onto the platform, approaching Shenarah.

Shenarah is overjoyed with relief, sighing and wiping the sweat off her brow. “Oh, thank the Gods. Ok, so here’s how the rules work. One of us goes to that pole, while the other-”

Sam punches the Elf straight in the face mid-sentence, using enough force to knock her out almost immediately. She flies backward onto the golden floor, grunting and groaning from the pain. It doesn’t take much effort to pry the second boss key from her hands after that. Sam yanks it out of her grip, and as quick as they entered the dance-off room, they’re already on their way out.