Bound Gods #11 excerpt (Patreon)

Here is an excerpt. It is unedited! Part of it will be in the Oct 4 newsletter. This one will pull at your heartstrings!

Marud did not want him.

Three days in the protected wing in Sanctuary with only Oliver to keep him company, Jessie held some hope it was all a mistake. Marud would change his mind. Maybe that's why Alton kept Jessie there rather than escorting him to where he would live from now on.

The Doxie wing.  

But even as Jessie followed Alton down a sunlit hall, the world around him a blur, the idea still refused to process. The man in front of him, his voice, static. And Oliver's hand, a formless mass wrapped in Jessie's numb fingers.

Alton opened one side of the large double doors. Young men wandered up and down the next corridor. All of them were naked except for cock cages, butt plugs and glittering bracelets, anklets, thin golden chains wrapped around their waist, and the occasion clasp in their hair.

Beautiful faces turned in Jessie's direction. These boys didn't even come to his shoulder.

“Jessie?”

Alton inclined his head in the direction of the hall.

More curious faces appeared from the rooms lining the walls.

“Master Jessie?” Oliver tugged on Jessie's hand. For some reason, the weight holding Jessie in place broke and he followed Alton inside.

“You're room is this way.”

His room.

One not shared with Marud.

Because Jessie had been thrown away in favor of bloodshed.

And not just the death of dangerous people who meant to harm Jessie, Marud, or Doxies, but innocent lives that had the potential. The if. The might. The possibility. Marud would never give them the chance to choose a different path. He would never give them a chance to correct their mistakes.

No, the god would just crush their bones and tear apart their flesh.

He would decimate millions.

He had decimated millions.

Alton said something Jessie missed. He blinked several times. “I'm sorry, what?”

“You may keep your clothes for a few more days but you'll be expected to dress appropriately after that.”

The laugh slipped across Jessie's lips before he could stop it. Dress appropriately?

Alton smiled a little. “Depending on who is assigned to training you, your apparel may vary from the others.”

Because another god would take charge of Jessie. A god he did not know and did not want. The tremor started in Jessie's legs and made its way up his spine. His teeth chattered despite clenching his jaw.

Oliver tightened his hold on Jessie's hand.

“For now, Oliver can stay with you here in the Doxie wing.”

“Wait...where else is he going to go?”

Oliver had no family and turning him back out into the streets wasn't just cruel but a death sentence. And Jessie owed Oliver his life.

“I'll arrange for him to have his own room here.”

“I was ordered to stay with Master Jessie.” Oliver even managed to lift his chin. But after putting himself between Jessie and Marud, Jessie was sure the man could look anyone in the eye.

“And Marud is no longer in charge of Jessie.”

“But I don't want to leave him.”

“The time between a Master trainer and a Doxie are their own.”

Which meant Oliver had no place. Jessie's heart skipped and his throat tightened. Was everything from the moment of peace and happiness in his life going to be taken away?

“Marud made him...” Jessie swallowed several times. “Oliver's addicted.”

Alton raised an eyebrow. “For how long?”

Jessie shrugged, “A few weeks.”

“If it's only been weeks, I can give him an inhibitor and he'll be able to quit the ambrosia.”

“But what if he can't?” Marud had promised denying Oliver of the nectar would be torture.

“We'll cross that bridge when it's time. Until then Oliver will be given his own quarters and allowance and depending on his skill set, possibly a job.” Alton looked at Oliver. He stepped closer to Jessie.

“But he's my friend,” Jessie said.

Alton put a hand on Jessie's shoulder. “I promise, no harm will come to him. And when time allows you will be able to visit.” Alton led Jessie and Oliver to a room near the end of the hall. The quaint space had a welcoming bed, beautiful view, private bath, and brightly colored rug.

Jessie already hated it.

“Go ahead, make yourself comfortable.”

Jessie stepped inside. Voices rose and fell from the hallway. A group of Doxies formed a cluster just behind Alton. All of them craned their heads trying to sneak a peek.

Alton shooed them away and they scattered. “They're just excited to meet someone new. Don't let it overwhelm you.” Alton held out Jessie's bag. The one he'd thrown together to bring with him. His paperback books, a few articles of clothing, and the pillow from Marud's side of the bed.

Jessie took the duffle bag.

“Dinner will be in a few hours. In the Doxie wing, you'll have a choice to either have an Ouium see to your meals or take them in the dining hall.” Alton pulled the door to.

And again Jessie was alone. Even with Oliver, he was alone.

There was no way around it. Without Marud, Jessie would never be whole again.

“Master Jessie, sir.” Oliver tugged and squeezed his hand. “Perhaps you should sit and rest, you're pale.”

Jessie let Oliver lead him to the bed to sit. The mattress threatened to swallow him.

“Is there anything I can bring you?” Oliver took the bag. It jerked him forward. He grunted as he dragged it to the end table. “Would you like me to bring you something to eat, sir?”

“What? Oh, no, I'm not hungry.”

“You didn't eat breakfast.”

“I wasn't hungry then either.”

“You need to eat.”

“You don't even know where the dining area is.” And there wasn't a phone in this room to call for service.

Oliver dropped his shoulders.

“It's okay, I promise. I'm not hungry. Just...” Tired. Too tired to sleep. Too tired to think. “Oliver?”

He stood straighter. “Yes sir.”

“Would you mind getting out my pillow? I'm going to take a nap.” Maybe if Jessie closed his eyes, all this would vanish.

Oliver retrieved the pillow and set it at the head of the bed. Jessie took off his tennis shoes. The soft pants and tunic he wore were loose enough to be comfortable. Jessie started to lie down. Oliver smiled.

“Um...” Jessie pushed the extra pillows on the bed over to the other side. “Would you mind?”

Oliver wrinkled his forehead.

“I want you to lay next to me. I mean, if you don't...”

Oliver took off his shoes and climbed in and lay down next to Jessie. He pulled the blanket up. Marud's spicy scent cradled Jessie's head. He rubbed his cheek against the pillowcase. With every breath, his cock ached.

But not nearly as much as his heart.

“I didn't think he would.” Jessie exhaled the words. “You know? After everything.” All Marud's promises. All his oaths. “I thought he might just want to scare me, and he'd come here to get me.” But he hadn't. Not even a note from the god had been passed to Jessie. It was almost as if he'd never existed to Marud.

“He didn't do it to hurt you.” Oliver folded his hands over his chest. “He would never hurt you.”

Jessie laughed a little. But there were no tears. Despite the overwhelming crack in his sense of self, the hopelessness, the complete confusion, he hadn't been able to shed a tear since Marud walked out of that bathroom leaving Jessie alone in the shower.

“Well, he failed.” Because Jessie hurt. And the pain was far worse than anything he'd ever felt.

“Yes, sir.”

Jessie scooted closer.

Oliver glanced his way but didn't move.

“I miss him.”  It had only been a few days.

“Alton promised it would get better,” Oliver said.

He had.

Alton seemed to think the time Jessie spent with Marud had encouraged attachment. Jessie couldn't deny it. But what Jessie felt had started years ago when the longing began. As if his subconscious had known for years who commanded him.

“I don't know if I can do this.” Jessie put an arm over Oliver and he held it. “I don't know how I'm going to do this.”

“It will be all right.” Oliver petted Jessie's arm. “I won't let anything bad happen to you.”

Oliver wouldn't have to protect Jessie. The worst had already occurred.

And Jessie didn't even have to call Alton. Marud did it for him.