Anubis Excerpt (Patreon)

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To be the man and not the monster.

The concept was almost unfathomable.

It wasn’t that Nox had carried the Anubis for so long he couldn’t remember what it was like to be without it. it was carrying it that had shown him he was powerless to escape it.

The opportunity to be human—or as close to human as possible—would allow him to be everything he wanted for Luca.

Hope hit him leaving his soul flayed and then the salt of reality followed causing the wound to burn.

But it didn’t stop him from wanting to believe Isaiah was capable of what he claimed.

Nox had been there when Koda took the ichor from his teammates leaving behind corpses. How would losing the ichor be any different for Nox?

He needed to know and he had a feeling Isaiah wouldn’t be as honest with Luca listening.

“Why don’t you go let Isaiah’s friends know he’s not feeling well,” Nox said.

“I wanted to—”

“As for Tanner, tell him to bring Jelani. They’ll know what to do.”

Luca furrowed his brow.

Nox readied himself for an argument, instead, Luca left.

When he was halfway across the pasture Nox said, “What’s the catch?”

Isaiah cocked his mouth to the side. “If it works you’ll be left a mortal man, you’ll age, you’ll die.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then you’ll return to what you were before the ichor.”

“That’s what I figured.”

“What about Luca?” Would he age and die? Or worse. “Will his cancer come back?”

“He’s a Cana, as long as he’s around us, he won’t age, the energy of our wolves will keep him from ever becoming ill, and if he’s injured it will heal him. We’ll age a bit faster, but it’s a small price to pay to keep him well.”

“You age?”

“Yes.”

“How long do you live?” It had to be longer than a human.

“Our life expectancy is based on our wolves so it’s different for each of us.”

“You’ve been alive for over a thousand now.”

Isaiah shook his head. “We’ve been existing, not living.”

Nox didn’t understand and said so.

“Think of it like hitting the pause button on a TV show. We won’t become a truly living being until we have our wolves back. Until then we can’t reproduce so when we die, there will be none of us left.”

“I’m sorry.” Apologies seemed to have become Nox’s MO.

Isaiah shrugged. “It is what it is.”

Most of the time. But Nox had an opportunity to change one thing. To make it so he wouldn’t have to apologize to Luca for at least one thing. “When do you want to start.”

“You’ll need to talk to Luca first.”

“I don’t think we have a choice.”

“There’s one other possibility, but I know you won’t do it and neither will Luca.”

Nox already knew. “Leave him here and run alone.”

Isaiah dropped his gaze. “Even if there was some chance of him agreeing to that—we both know there isn’t—the Anubis would never allow it.”

And it could very well kill Isaiah and his people for keeping Luca away from it. “And how are you going to keep the Anubis from retaliating?”

“In all the time you’ve been with the Anubis, have you ever had it worry about dying or understanding the concept of being destroyed?”

“It sure as hell didn’t like the idea of you showing up.”

“And now?”

“It’s not afraid of you but it doesn’t like your wolves.”

“No, I suspect not.” Isaiah laughed a little. “But sitting here talking about killing it hasn’t gotten its attention, has it?”

Nox felt for the Anubis’s present, it stirred but had no desire to pull its attention from the object of his obsession currently standing at the door of one of the RVs and knocking.

“How do you plan on doing this?”

This impossible thing Isaiah claimed.

“Small doses of ***.”

“Which is?”

“A kind of ichor drawn from a sack behind my heart.” Isaiah winced.

“Let me guess, your rough night.”

“Yeah.”

The door opened on the RV. “I’m going to make some room, so your people can help you.” The big man who stepped out of the RV had the Anubis’s interest but that might have been because he was close to Luca. Just in case, Nox went back to the trailer.

A lithe dark-skinned man followed the giant over to Isaiah.

“You okay.”

“Yeah, I just didn’t want to crowd them.” Luca joined Nox.

“I told you, you needed to stay in bed.” The big man kneeled.

“Just help me stand up,” Isaiah said.

“You need to let Tanner carry you.” The dark-skinned man opened a plastic box he carried. “But first let me take a look.”

“Not here.” Isaiah stopped him from taking anything from the box.

“Alpha—”

“Not here.” Isaiah didn’t raise his voice but it rang with authority in much the same way Koda’s had and Luca’s did.

The dark-skinned man closed the box. “As you wish.”

“I’m carrying you,” Tanner said it like a dare.

“Fine.”

Tanner lifted Isaiah.

“Talk to him,” Isaiah said it to Nox.

Tanner followed the dark-skinned man back to the RV.

“What did he mean by talk to me?” Luca watched them until they disappeared inside the vehicle. “Nox?”

“You need to eat.”

Luca took Nox’s hand. “What did he mean?”

“Eat first then I’ll tell you.”

Luca returned to the trailer. He picked up one of the food containers and gave it to Nox, then one for himself. “Toast, jelly, and porkchops. I’m not sure if the porkchops would be safe they sat all night.”

Nox opened the container and sniffed. “It’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’d be able to smell it if it was bad.” Turned meat wouldn’t have harmed Nox. He’d eaten worse, but Luca would get ill. The Anubis wouldn’t let him be sick for very long, but Nox didn’t want him to be miserable even for a few minutes.

“If I puke you get to hold my hair back.”

“Deal.”

They found a space to sit on the steps of the trailer and ate when they were done Nox told Luca everything Isaiah had said.

Isaiah’s people converged to the open space near the RVs and sat at the picnic tables there to share breakfast. Sunlight cut glowing shapes on the ground and the wind-tossed them back and forth.

Luca stared at nothing chewing on his bottom lip and Nox waited.

“I can’t lose you.” Luca’s voice wavered.

“You won’t. Not if it works.”

“I still lose you. You’ll age, you’ll die, and I’ll be alone.”

“You won’t be alone.” He would have Isaiah’s people.

“If I’m not with you, I’m alone.”

“As long as I have the ichor they’re not going to stop hunting me.”

“Us.”

“No. Me.”

“I don’t care if I have to run.”

“It’s hard on you. I see it. I feel it. You need a place to call home. You need somewhere secure and safe where you have a warm bed, good food. Where you can be happy.

Luca pulled his knees up and rested his arms across the top. “Why do I get the feeling you want to suggest I stay here.”

It would be better than the alternative in Nox’s opinion. “You could if you want to.”

Luca glared.

Nox held up a hand. “But I know you don’t.”

“Damn right I don’t.”

And Nox didn’t want him to stay either. He was too selfish, plus Isaiah was right. The Anubis would never abandon Luca. It would also never quit wanting him. What if it became so insistent it took Luca against his will? What if hurt him in the process?

Because doing something so horrible would definitely break his spirit.

Nox wouldn’t be able to live knowing he’d allowed that to happen, then the Anubis would take over and there’d be nothing to stop it.

“I don’t want you to be different,” Luca said. “I love you the way you are.” And Nox was thankful for that. “But you’re right. I want somewhere safe. Somewhere to call home. Someone to share that home with. And nowhere will be home without you.”

“Then we’ll try.”

“Can we wait till tomorrow?”

Part of Nox feared he’d lose his courage but he also understood why Luca asked. If it failed, and Nox died, this could be the last day they had together. “I need you to make me a promise.”

Luca shook his head. “No.”

“Please.”

“I know what you want to say and the answer is no.”

“Luca.”

“No, Nox. No. If this kills you, then I’m not staying with them. I don’t care if my cancer comes back. So you better make sure you survive if you want me to survive too.”