Memberbeans: Happy Screw Columbus Day! (Patreon)

In honor of Indigenous Peoples Day, here's our video take-down of the Columbus myth. This was probably the longest, hardest monologue I ever had to memorize while at Cracked, because (even though ultimately the footage was edited) it was filmed entirely in one shot. I wrote the script, which helped, but I was still pacing around in my pumpkin pantaloons sweating bullets at the LA Youtube Space trying to get the wording right. Fun fact: that's the day Abe saw Arnold Schwarzenegger, also at the Youtube space. I missed Arnie, but I'm told they arm-wrestled and Abe won.

And yes, we had a lot more DED Talks sketches planned, but the site folded, so now we don't. We made Edison, Disney, and Tesla, but I'm still aggrieved we never got around to producing the Abe Lincoln, Julius Caesar, or H.P. Lovecraft ones.