Chapter 7: Big Sis Astra (Patreon)
Content
“Tch.” Astra clicked her tongue with displeasure. “You should have told me that you were suffering from qi poisoning. Otherwise, we would have stopped sooner.”
“In my defense,” I said, slurring my words. “I didn’t know I was suffering from qi poisoning until you told me. Hell, I didn’t even know what qi poisoning was until then.”
The two of us were back in the little living area near the entrance to Astra’s immortal cave, or former immortal cave to be more accurate. We had just spent the past several hours training my mind to get used to the feeling of divine fire qi as it burned my body.
Astra would open the door to the meditation chamber, let out a large amount of divine fire qi, before closing the door and purging the divine fire qi from the spherical antechamber. She repeated this process over and over again, keeping the door open for longer and longer periods of time. Meanwhile, I did my best to endure the pain. We didn’t take breaks, except for meals.
As Astra said, my body wouldn’t get used to the divine fire qi. It was too inimical to my demonic nature. That meant tempering my mind, so I could overcome the pain through willpower alone. It was hell, and I almost gave up several times. Yet, each time I thought about giving in, I gritted my teeth and continued.
However, after a certain point, I started to suffer from qi poisoning. As demonkin, small doses of divine qi were painful but not lethal. Repeated exposure to divine qi over a long period of time was lethal to demonkin, resulting in qi poisoning. It sapped me of my physical strength and left me nauseous.
It was a phenomenon any cultivator could suffer from if exposed to the wrong kind of qi. For humans and divine cultivators, this included demonic qi. The only solution was to purge the poisonous qi and let one’s body rest.
When Astra realized that I was suffering from qi poisoning, she dragged me back to the living area and had me lie down on the bed as she purged the divine fire qi from my body. Afterwards, she lectured me on understanding the limits of my body. I listened and promised her that I would be careful going forward. She then blamed herself for not noticing it earlier. I could blame my inexperience for what happened. She had no such excuse.
I realized then that this was a learning experience for the both of us. Astra wasn’t infallible. Oddly enough, this increased my faith in her instead of lowering it. Her mistakes, as painful as they felt for me, made her seem more…human. Relatable.
That said, I made a mental note to keep a better eye on my condition. At the end of the day, I was responsible for myself. Blaming Astra helped me not at all.
After experiencing qi poisoning, I realized why there were so few divine demons. For demonkin, unless they gave up, they risked suffering from qi poisoning. I suffered from a mild case, which left me debilitated and in pain. In extreme cases, qi poisoning resulted in permanent injury or even death. I imagined that divine cultivators suffered from the same issues when trying to practice demonic cultivation.
“What time is it?” I asked, trying to sit up on the bed and failing. I had little physical strength left.
Astra, who stood next to the bed, gave me a flat look.
“Time for you to rest and recover,” she said.
“No,” I said. “The sooner I cultivate the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique, the better.”
“Darian, you just suffered a case of qi poisoning. You need to rest.”
“I read that the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique can steady one’s heart and clear one’s mind,” I retorted. “This is the perfect time to start.”
Wearing a stern expression, Astra leaned forward until our faces were inches apart. Her golden eyes seemed to bore right into my soul.
“No amount of mental fortitude will help your body overcome qi poisoning,” she said. “You need to rest. A single night’s sleep should suffice.”
“But-…”
“I said no, Darian.” Astra pulled back a bit and frowned at me. “Why are you in such a rush? I told you, we need to take small, incremental steps. If you rush ahead, you’ll stumble and fall.”
I frowned.
“If I take too long, then I won’t be ready for the entrance exam next year,” I said.
Astra stared at me in disbelief.
“That’s why you’re in such a hurry?” she asked. “Darian, while I initially thought you would be ready in time, I know that’s unfeasible at this point. You’re better off waiting until the entrance exam in six years.”
My frown deepened as I looked up at Astra.
“What about our deal?” I asked. “Isn’t it better for you if I join the Dawn and Dusk Sect sooner rather than later? If we miss the upcoming entrance exam, you’ll have to wait longer to become an elder of the Dawn and Dusk Sect. Wasn’t that why you started helping me in the first place?”
The thought of joining another sect or becoming no longer crossed my mind, not anymore. It was either the Dawn and Dusk Sect, or nothing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to become a divine demon. I wanted to prove to myself and others that I deserved to join the Dawn and Dusk Sect.
However, the reason why I was in such a rush for Astra’s sake. After everything she had done for me, despite her mistakes, I wanted to pay her back. A far cry from my initial feelings towards her.
A part of me was also afraid that if I didn’t become strong enough in time, she would abandon me. My mother gave me up at birth (or died), my father went into seclusion to save his life, and my clan had turned their backs on me. If Astra abandoned me as well, it would break my heart.
I had only known her for two days, and yet she had already become one of the most important people in my life. Pathetic of me really, when viewed from an objective point of view. Astra was a stranger, and a demon at that. For me to become so attached to her after such a short amount of time, just because she was kind to me, illustrated just how starved for affection I was.
At my words, Astra’s expression turned stricken.
“Oh ancestors,” she breathed. “What have I done?” She closed her eyes and clenched her fists. “This was a terrible idea. I have made nothing but one mistake after another. I should have just brought you to the Dawn and Dusk Sect right away instead of playing around like this.”
Astra opened her eyes, before she knelt on the floor and kowtowed before me.
“I’m so sorry, Darian,” she said. “It’s clear that I’m not qualified to teach you, even temporarily. It would be better to take you to the Dawn and Dusk Sect and find someone more suitable.” She paused. “And I’m sorry for lying to you.”
I stared at her, unable to respond for several seconds.
“What…” I started to say, before stopping. “What are you talking about? When did you lie to me?”
“While it is true that I just need to earn more contribution in order to become an elder for the Dawn and Dusk Sect, that wasn’t why I kidnapped you and brought you here. There were other ways I could have earned contribution.”
My mouth went dry and my lingering suspicion of Astra flared up again.
“Why did you kidnap me and bring me here?” I asked. “And raise your head. You don’t need to kowtow to me.”
Seeing Astra kneel before me felt wrong for many reasons. Not only was she a cultivator but she was also much older than me. Plus she was a disciple of the Dawn and Dusk Sect. In terms of status, power, and age, she outranked me in all three.
Unless she lied about that as well.
Astra raised her head, though she remained kneeling. To my shock, her eyes were red, as if she were ready to start crying at any moment.
“I brought you here because I didn’t want to get into trouble,” she said, her voice thick with tears. “If I had brought you back to the Dawn and Dusk Sect right away, the others would have punished me. I thought that if I trained you and had you pass the entrance exam with your own strength, it would somehow make up for it.”
The more Astra explained things, the less I understood. Instead of clearing matters up, her words muddled them even further. To the point that I didn’t have the energy to get angry with her for lying to me.
“It’s just that I couldn’t stand seeing you suffer anymore,” Astra continued. “It took all of my willpower to not intervene and kill that Zayne brat when he assaulted you. I didn’t want to leave you in the hands of Clan Wind Dance, so I took you away from that place. However, after I calmed down and I realized what I had done, I knew I would be punished for it. So I took you here.” Her shoulders slumped and her tail drooped. “And I lied to you because I knew you wouldn’t believe me if I told you the truth. You were so suspicious of me, so I made up that whole story about needing to earn contribution.”
I grabbed Astra by the shoulder and shook her, otherwise I would never get a coherent answer out of her. She must have felt guilty for lying to me, because she let it happen.
“What are you talking about?” I asked her, enunciating each word. Well, as much as I could while suffering from the aftereffects of qi poisoning. “What others? Why would you get in trouble for taking me away from the Dawn and Dusk Sect? Just…What is going on?”
Astra made a face, before looking away from me.
“Who am I?” she asked.
I gave her a baffled look.
“What?”
“The answer is relevant, I promise. Who am I?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. Her evasiveness angered me, but I decided to humor her. It seemed like the fastest way to get answers. It wasn’t like I could force them out of her.
“Astra,” I said.
She shook her head.
“True,” she said. “But the wrong answer. Who am I?”
I glared at her.
“What kind of game are you playing here?” I asked.
Astra remained silent. I swallowed my anger. Yelling wouldn’t help, so I had little choice but to keep humoring her.
“A disciple of the Dawn and Dusk Sect,” I said.
“Also true, but still the wrong answer.”
I wanted to throttle her. What kind of answer was she looking for? It was like trying to solve a riddle without knowing what the riddle was.
“Big Sis Astra,” I said out of exasperation.
However, as soon as those words left my mouth, my anger dissipated as the truth dawned on me. I put together the puzzle pieces and saw the picture they formed. The clues had all been in front of my face this entire time, I just hadn’t recognized them for what they were.
Astra’s kindness and affection towards me, her willingness to teach me despite the time and effort involved, her concern for my well being. Why would she act this way towards me? Simple. We were family. She acted like an older sister teaching her little brother because she was an older sister teaching her little brother. It was something I had noted without realizing the significance behind it.
I stared at Astra with wide eyes. She gave me a sad smile.
“I told you the answer was relevant, little brother,” she said.
***
I stared at Astra with my mouth hanging open, unable to form a coherent sentence. I avoided thinking of my mother as much as possible, since it was a pointless waste of time. Why bother with a woman who gave me up as soon as I was born? More than that, she was a demon. I doubted that she was even capable of feeling maternal love towards her offspring, or so I used to think.
Despite this, I did think about her from time to time. Who was she? Why had she given me up? How did she meet my father? Had she seduced him through trickery, or had they been lovers in truth? I pondered these questions when I was at my lowest, usually while talking with Father. Rather, while talking to myself in front of the entrance to Father’s immortal cave.
However, in all my musings, it never occurred to me that my mother would have other children. It never occurred to me that I might have siblings, family other than Clan Wind Dance. That said, even if I had thought of that, I wouldn’t have wanted to associate with any of them. They were demons after all, vile and wicked beings. If I hadn’t met Astra, I might have spent the rest of my life hating my demonic heritage and all demons.
Astra’s revelation answered a few of my questions, but also raised plenty more. From what I understood, her kidnapping me and taking me away from Mt. Wind Dance was some kind of taboo. She would be punished for it. By whom? These “others” that she mentioned. The rest of our…family?
A knot in my heart ached. It was a wound, an old and deep one. For me, my family had always either been kin who hated me because of my demonic heritage, or absent altogether. Father might have loved me, but I never met him so I didn’t know for sure. Lucius was the only exception, but he always had to maintain a certain degree of distance between us due to my uncle. Yet, none of that stopped me from longing for family, a real family.
If it meant getting what I’ve always desired, could I really embrace my mother’s kin as my own? Even if they were all demons? After spending the past two days with Astra, perhaps I could.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said, breaking the silence. “Are you really…?”
I trailed off, unable to finish my sentence.
“Yes,” Astra said. “I’m your older sister, Darian. There are three of us in total. I’m the youngest of the three. Big Sis Sidra is the oldest, and Big Sis Estelle is the oldest after her.
I swallowed, unsure of how to respond. Three sisters. I had three older sisters. Just a week ago, I would have been grateful to have one. Finding out that I had three made me feel like a man dying of thirst who just stumbled across an oasis.
I had so many questions, it was difficult to pick which one to ask. They all tried to escape my mouth at once, resulting in silence.
“How long have you known about me?” I asked, starting with the most important one.
“Since before you were born, Darian,” Astra said, smiling. “You were such a cute little baby. Before Cultivator Connor took you away, Big Sis Estelle and I would fight over who got to hold you. She won most of the time, but I managed to beat her a time or two.”
My mouth went dry and my heart started hammering in my chest. From the warmth and affection in her voice, it sounded like Astra and…Big Sis Estelle loved me. If that was the case, then…
“Why didn’t any of you come see me?” I asked in a hoarse voice. “Why did my moth-…Why did our mother give me up?”
Astra opened her mouth to answer, but a wave of exhaustion washed over me before she could and I fell back down into the bed. She stood up and walked over to my side.
“I’ll tell you later,” she said, caressing my cheek. “Rest for now, Darian. We can finish this discussion in the morning, after you’ve recovered.”
I wanted to continue the discussion now, but my eyelids felt too heavy. It took far too much energy to try and keep them open.
“Goodnight, Little Demon,” Astra said. “Regardless of what happens, I’m glad I took you away from that place. Sleep well.”
She kissed me on the forehead. That was the last thing I knew before darkness overtook me and I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
***
I woke up the next morning feeling much better than before. At least I think it was morning. The light crystals shone, filling the cave with light, so I assumed it was morning. However, I would need to go outside and see the sun to know for sure. Plus, I needed to meditate while watching the dawn if I wanted to cultivate with the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique.
Before all that, I took stock of my body’s condition. While I felt better, my body still ached all over. My mouth felt dry and tasted foul. Even my lungs felt a little tender. Hunger assaulted me, and my stomach rumbled with discontent. If I didn’t feed it soon, it would start eating itself in protest. Other than all that, I felt fine.
I sat up and turned, placing my bare feet on the cold stone floor. Astra was nowhere in sight. Thinking of her brought back memories of last night’s conversation. A part of me wanted to deny it, to believe it was all a dream, but I couldn’t. Rather, I refused to. Astra was my sister. All my experiences with her corroborated this.
Unless Astra was a superb actress and had been lying to me the entire time, which wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility. Still, what would be the point of pretending to be my sister? And even if this was all an elaborate act on her part, I would still prefer that over my life with Clan Wind Dance. At least Astra treated me well.
I stood up from the bed and drank from the water basin, before giving myself a quick wash. Just as I started stretching to warm my body up and loosen my muscles, the entrance to the cave turned transparent and Astra walked in. She stopped when she saw me and gave me a wary look, as if unsure of how I would react to her presence. Her tail twitched.
“Good morning, Darian,” she said.
“Good morning, Astra,” I said. “Did…Did last night happen or was that all a dream?”
Astra shook her head.
“No, it wasn’t a dream. It happened. I am your older sister.” She grimaced. “I know you’re angry at me for lying to yo-…”
Before she could finish her sentence, I rushed over and pulled her into a hug. My arms completely engulfed her. Astra had such a big presence, that it was easy to forget how much smaller her body was compared to mine. She felt warm and smelled like sandalwood. I decided that I liked it.
“I don’t care about any of that,” I said, hugging her tight. “I’m just happy to have an actual family for once in my life.”
Of course, there were still several issues that we needed to discuss. If my mother’s kin loved me and knew about me, why hadn’t any of them come visit me before now? Why had our mother given me up? Why would Astra get into trouble for taking me away from Mt. Wind Dance? However, for now, I would just enjoy the experience of hugging my big sis.
“Aw, you’re going to make me cry,” Astra said, hugging me back. “However, as touching as this is, we don’t have much time. Dawn is approaching. If you want to start cultivating with the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique, we need to leave now. The peak of the mountain is the best place to watch the sunrise.”
I pulled away from Astra with some reluctance and nodded. The world continued on, despite last night’s revelations and the questions they raised. If I wanted to become a divine demon, then I needed to start refining my mind so I could withstand the pain from the divine Fire qi. Even if starting with the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique made it impossible to cultivate with divine qi, at least I was still going to become a cultivator. I wasn’t going to complain because I didn’t get the best result possible.
I followed Astra as she left the cave. When I made it outside and saw the area around us, I stopped and stared in shock. The pre-dawn light was strong enough to give me a decent view, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to see anything at all.
Mountains made from black stone surrounded us as far as the eye could see. Tall and steep, they looked like the teeth of some titanic creature. Their peaks jagged and sharp peaks seemed to pierce the sky. Each of the mountains was bare. None of them bore any trace of life.
A purplish-black mist blanketed the land at the base of the mountains, obscuring the ground. It roiled and writhed, as if it were a living creature. The mist also felt malevolent, as if it had nefarious intentions.
The entrance to Astra’s old immortal cave was located near the peak of one of the mountains. A jutting cliff, about the size of a small courtyard, served as a natural platform. Steep cliffs flanked it on all sides. No trail led to or from the platform. In order to reach it, one had to either climb up the steep cliffs or fly.
Despite the height, I didn’t feel cold. In fact, the temperature felt nice and comfortable. Neither did the wind touch me. I heard it howling in the distance, sounding like a pack of angry spirits, but the air near the entrance remained calm. It smelled acrid and bitter however.
After taking in the sights, I turned towards Astra and gave her a look of absolute disbelief.
“The Black Mist Mountains?” I asked. “Are you insane? You set up your immortal cave here?”
While I lacked a lot of knowledge when it came to cultivation, I wasn’t uneducated. My uncle forbade anyone from teaching me anything about cultivation, but he ensured that I wasn’t completely ignorant. He had arranged for several tutors to educate me on a number of different subjects, putting me on par with the average young master from a mortal noble family. Two of the subjects I learned were geography and history.
A number of forbidden areas dotted the Northern Region of the Azure Dragon Empire, mysterious places filled with extreme danger. While it was possible to find great rewards in these forbidden areas, one had to brave great risks in order to reap those rewards. The Black Mist Mountains were once of those forbidden areas.
It was a mountain range located along the center of the Northern Region’s central continent, running from north to south in a jagged vertical line. As its name suggested, a black mist filled with poison and demonic qi blanketed the entire forbidden area. It killed anyone who breathed it in, unless they took the proper precautions.
A number of demonic beasts also made the Black Mist Mountains their home, aggressive and vicious monsters that attacked anyone who dared to intrude into their domains. The demonic beasts who lived along the edges of the Black Mist Mountains were quite weak. However, the deeper into the mountains one went, the more powerful the beasts one encountered. According to my tutors, the demonic beasts located within the heart of the Black Mist Mountains were as powerful as Nascent Soul cultivators.
For mortals and weaker cultivators, this area was a death trap. Coming here unprepared and without enough power was akin to committing suicide. And my sister chose to set up her immortal cave here.
“What?” Astra asked, wearing a defensive expression on her face. “I wanted privacy when I set up my first immortal cave and this place was perfect. No one ever comes here, and this place is abundant with demonic qi.” She gestured towards the rest of the mountain range. “Besides, we’re only in the outer edges of the Black Mist Mountains. Nothing here is powerful enough to threaten us, so we’re safe here.”
“Nothing here is powerful enough to threaten you,” I pointed out. “I’m a mortal.” I gestured to the mist. “Just breathing in the air is enough to kill me, and that isn’t even taking the demonic beasts into consideration.”
Something roared in the distance, as if to punctuate my point, the sound echoing out.
“It’ll be fine,” Astra said, rolling her eyes. “I took the proper precautions before I brought you here.” She gestured to the platform. “The entire upper half of the mountain is protected by a number of arrays, so you don’t have to worry about anything. Even a Nascent Soul cultivator, or a demonic beast of equivalent power, would have trouble breaking in. You’re perfectly safe here. I even went through the trouble of setting up an array to keep out the wind and the cold.”
I gave her a doubtful look. While I trusted Astra, I didn’t think she knew what it meant to be a fragile mortal. What she considered safe and what I considered safe were two different things.
“Now come on,” Astra said. “Let’s go.”
I looked up. Despite our proximity to the peak, it still looked too far away for my tastes. The idea of heading up there filled me with unease.
“How?” I asked, dreading the answer. “I don’t see a path.”
Astra gave me a mischievous grin in response. Before I could react, she grabbed and hoisted me over her shoulder. She then jumped and flew towards the peak. I screamed in terror the entire way there.