The one child policy makes cross cultural relationships tougher! (Patreon)

So, you're in a relationship with a Chinese woman (or man) and you're a foreigner, thinking of inviting your spouse to live with you in a different city or especially a different country? Get ready for some serious hurdles!!!

As discussed many times before on both SerpentZA and ADVChina, the Chinese extended family unit is one that came about from a need to survive in a country that in essence offers very little in way of security and social stability, you need your Children to take care of you when you're older since you most probably won't have a pension or enough resources to look after yourself, so spend a lot on your Child's education so that they can get a good job and then sit back and reap the rewards of your investment in your old age as your son (of course preferred) or daughter takes care of you financially and you get to live with them and cook and clean and look after your grand-children during your retirement.

This is in fact a very effective system and works very well as the family is always there to help each other out financially and of course in other ways too. 

Take away that investment however and you'll be met with fierce resistance! Worse yet, due to the one child policy, instead of having various different investments (multiple children), you're stuck with all your eggs in one basket and then some bloody foreigner comes along and wants to take your heavily invested nest-egg away from you! What are you to do?..... Well you get the picture!

This is especially a problem with first time marriages, if you're marrying a divorced Chinese woman/man, you'll have the upper hand since if the parents try to complain you can always remind them that there is zero chance of their son/daughter (daughter especially) finding another Chinese husband or wife as marrying a divorcee is strictly taboo in China. If however you are the first husband / wife to your Chinese spouse, there will be heavy expectations thrust upon you, be prepared to fight for your right to get married, financially support your in-laws, constantly have them hanging around and possibly moving in with you (the horror), if you're trying to move overseas, expect huge drama and possibly the task of having to bring what are essentially your adopted children (even though they're your in-laws) with you and boy oh boy do I wish you the absolute best of luck!

To conclude, cross-cultural marriages are difficult no matter what two cultures we're talking about, but Chinese and Western families are very different so strengthen your resolve and prepare for battle!

- Stay Awesome!

SerpentZA