The Gamer Chapter 1338 – Building an Alchemist (Patreon)


‘Different weighting this time around. Claire got 2 Monster Girl Perks, Skill Focus, and 2 Skill Perks for free. I guess this is because Delicia was way weaker than Claire was before and more focused on a craft.’ “So, what would you prefer?”

“You mean what I want, right? Because I make all the choices, right?” It was in her tone and the way she teasingly leaned forward that she just asked to make him say that she was indeed right.

“Uhh… right.” His brain was lagging at the moment. Those massive tits in the maid uniform made thinking clearly near impossible. It would have been a lot easier to stay concentrated if he had used her eating break to blow a load or ten. “So, what will it be-“

“OBJECTION!” Sylph suddenly screamed. She landed next to Delicia with enough force to scatter ash away from the fireplace. Only Delicia reacted with any kind of surprise to the heavy gust and the crackling lightning. Everyone else just wondered what shenanigans were afoot. “I have a grave aesthetic objection! A problem of the greatest of great magnitudes. You! Stand straight!”

“Uhm, uh, sure?” Delicia stammered.

‘That is pretty great,’ John thought. It was entertaining to see the smug brat overwhelmed by the straightforward, borderline insane ditziness of Sylph. It also gave John an opportunity to get some blood back in his brain. ‘Can’t believe I got enticed that intensely by some ogling… 19 haremettes in and adorable women still give me the brainfreeze… God, I hope that never changes.’

“See?” Sylph asked loudly, standing straight next to Delicia. “YOU SEE?! This is a grave issue!”

“She’s curvier than you?” Salamander asked.

“Psh, if that was my issue I would have asked for thirteen breast reductions for you already, Sally! No, Sally, look, look closely! She is a centimetre smaller than me! A whole centimetre!” The arcvolt elemental gestured between her head and that of the shortstack.

Funnily enough, John had not registered any attempts by Sylph to get that fact out of his memories. She had actually perceived that difference. This was exactly the kind of minute detail Sylph would get hung up on though. “Is that bad?” Delicia asked, confused.

“It’s the worst! I am the tiniest, most adorable concubine. That is law!”

“Statement: maids also must have green eyes, and white hair,” Beatrice added.

“What about her?” Delicia calmly pointed at Claire.

“I’m a failure,” Claire responded with a dramatic sniffle. “My hair may be white but my eyes red. My hair may be red but my eyes green. I cannot have both. I cannot have perfection. I cannot properly please.” She looked at her Master, pleading and hoping he would ask her to prove differently.

“I’ll have you serve me later, until you cannot believe that anymore,” he told her. “First, we deal with this. Sylph, you might have to live with not being the shortest anymore.”

“Noooooooo!” the arcvolt elemental collapsed on all fours. Pouting, she turned to Delicia, grabbing her hand. “Please, if you get a Perk that lets you change your appearance, you have to grow a biiiiiit!”

“Addendum: and change your eye and hair colour,” Beatrice insisted. “It is of imperative need that patterns continue.”

Aclysia threw a guilty glance at Claire, before stating, “Affirmative. Patterns are important. Exceptions are… difficult to accept.”

“Wouldn’t blue work nicely as the opposite of red?” Delicia asked. “So it’s fine if I get the white hair, right?”

“”…Compromise accepted,”” both Aclysia and Beatrice answered at the exact same time, in the exact same tone. Sometimes, the faux-twins were perfectly in sync.

“All of that aside, what choice do you go with?” John asked, still having the option between the Monster Girl or Skill Perks before him.

“What’s better?” Delicia asked him.

“The Monster Girl Perks, by a mile,” the Gamer responded flatly. “With the 2 Monster Girl Perks plus the 1 all my new contracts get, you get to 3 Monster Girl Perks which then gets you a powerful Monster Girl Ascension Perk. 4 Skill Perks get you 4 Skills in whatever your Skill Focus is – probably the ability to brew some special potions on a cooldown. It’s good, but I think the Monster Girl Perks are better.”

“Hmmm, do I get special potions or do I listen to this clearly biased pervert?” Delicia asked out loud, tapping her chin in the process. She turned her gaze to Sylph, who was still pouting up at her. Her smug grin grew borderline malicious. “Ooooh, well, guess I need to change my body for this pathetic little thing, don’t I?”

“Y-you would?” Sylph asked, grabbing her hand.

“I meaaaan, whatever can I doooooo?” Delicia’s magnanimous tone was as overdone as the drama of a first year acting student. “Guess I need to turn into a hot monster girl, just for you!”

“So magnificent! You are the best Delicia! I’ll eat you out until you can’t walk anymore.”

“Yes, yes, worship me-“ Delicia stopped in the middle of her third self-satisfied nod. “Oh, oh wow, uhm… I don’t even know what I expected from you, Sylph, but you are…”

“A super adorable sexy little multi-kink volt bunny, yes,” the arcvolt elemental babbled. “Now grow and bleach your hair so we can do the stuff that is fun!”

Delicia was visibly recuperating from the rapid acquisition and loss of control over the conversation she was experiencing. ‘Better get used to that,’ John sent her mentally. ‘Sylph is our little chaos fun time.’ They had talked before, but it was clear that the alchemist would need a bit to get a proper handle on Sylph being Sylph – if she ever did. Part of the fun of having the arcvolt elemental around was not knowing what she would do next.

“Anyway… yes, Monster Girl Perks, hit me up now.”

“One monstergirlification coming up,” John stated and pressed the button.


“Yo, hit me up with that Homunculus juice immediately!” Delicia declared.

“Wasn’t it experimenting with untested mutagens that got you in your previous mess?” the Gamer wanted to know.

“Are you breaking our contract, hmmm? Do I need to find something else to wear, since we just don’t care about terms and conditions anymore?” She covered her cleavage with her arms. “You’ll find somewhere else to stare.”

“Would this really be fine?” Nightingale asked, understandably worried that they would actually find themselves in the same or a worse situation that Delicia had started with.

“What even are mutagens?” Rave asked.

“Roughly speaking, alchemy does three things,” Delicia explained to her and all the other haremettes that had no idea, “carefully bind magical effects in consumable substances, transmute inanimate materials through careful enrichment, or mutate animated materials through manipulation.”

“Why did you have to drop the careful for that last point?”

“Not a lot of care in mutating living tissue.” Delicia shrugged, still grinning. “Anyway, mutagens are alchemical compounds that are supposed to create a rapid mutation that typically lasts a limited time – Unless they don’t. Having a body that can accept and reject mutagens at will is super double awesome for an alchemist.”

“And it gives the white hair,” John gave the most important bit of info. Homunculus would have been his personal choice as well. Her being even shorter did nothing for him, nor did it diminish his enjoyment of her body in any way. From the sound of it, Goblin would have shrunk her butt and Gnome her boobs. Those were transgressions he could not stand. Plus, mutagens would probably be able to give him all the greenskin goodness he wanted, when he wanted.


John looked up from the window for a moment to double-check the statement under the title box. Delicia’s hair had indeed been drained of its remaining colour and she stood ever so slightly taller than Sylph. Something the arcvolt elemental was so ecstatic about, she zapped off with a scream of jubilation.

“She’ll get that out of her system.” John laughed and then read out the choices to everyone. “What do you choose there?”

“Mutagen Library, easy choice,” Delicia said.

Again, John had to agree. Overdrive was probably really good for some kind of combatant – which Delicia had already said she had no interest in becoming and John had no need for either. It would be good if she could defend herself, but that would be covered by the natural high regeneration of her new body and a couple of points in her Physical Stats. Mutagen Restoration sounded almost useless. It was one of those Perks that was maybe strong if there was a rare, potent mutagen that she had to carefully dose, but otherwise why bother with it? Mutagen Library was better even in that case anyway, since she could have that rare thing permanently.


“Mutagen Mixer, done,” Delicia let him know before he even asked the question. “The other two choices are too boring. Give me the best nose in the alchemy field!”


“HAH!” John laughed out loud while reading the middle one.

“What’s so funny?” Delicia wanted to know, not yet capable of looking through his eyes on demand.

“Alright, so the left choice makes it so you can be a cat-wolf-goblin girl chimera without any destabilization – which I assume means that if you take too many non-compatible or competing mutagens that you start growing not so pretty protrusions and teeth in weird places.”

“Uhu, uhu… sounds useful, what else?”

“Right choice is that you are more limited with your mutagens, but you can manipulate your base form a lot more. Says you basically turn into an alchemical slime girl. I assume that mutagens you then use are a lot more effective because you can shape your body around them.”

“I kinda like having bones – no offense, Undine.”

“None taken.”

“Middle choice is that I make you a portable device that can do all 49 basic alchemical processes with an output of up to ten litres per day.”

“…Wat?”

“You heard me. Further: the produced potions can be drawn from you in whichever way you please.” John looked up from the window to take in all of her priceless expression. Delicia stood there, blinked, tilted her head, and watched him grin away, while dumbfounded herself.

Delicia found her voice again, took half a step forward and pointed her finger at him. “Wait a fucking second, you KNEW this would happen?!” she asked, outraged. Now it was John’s turn to mockingly laugh at her, while she got angry. “Well, this isn’t what I wanted!”

“What do you mean?” the Gamer responded teasingly. “You said, exactly, that you wanted me to make you a portable device capable of exactly these things.”

“I am not a device!”

John clicked his tongue and looked at Beatrice. The passive maid immediately played along. “Device, definition: an object or machine that has been invented for a particular purpose.”

“Yeah, I am not an object or a machine!”

“Are you sure about that?” John leaned back in his camping chair, folding his hands in front of his chest. “Last time I checked, I turned you from a person into an object to avoid your condition. That’s ignoring how broad the definition of the word object is on its own.” He slowly leaned forward. “And I can objectify you in all manner of different ways.”

“Wawawawa-whatever do--- WHATEVER!” Delicia declared and threw her hands up into the air. “Yeah, whatever, fulfil our agreement, you bullshit system provider. I hope you’re mighty proud of yourself, invalidating a millennia of research at the press of a button. Ha-haaaa, you are so great!”

“No, you’re great, I’m enabling you to do this,” the Gamer told her with a wink. “Don’t forget you are part of my bullshit system now.”

John actually had no idea which of the three choices was the best as he pressed the button. Chimera Homunculus and Pure Homunculus sounded once again better for a combatant. What he couldn’t deny was that the thought of a second slime girl in his harem was enticing – almost as enticing as the chimera would have been. The adorable ears of a cat paired with the green tits of a goblin and the fluffy tail of a fox, that would have been nice.

For all he knew, Universal Catalyst could allow her to sweat aphrodisiac that she was producing internally. Maybe her pussy juice would get as delicious for him as his cum was for his women. Perhaps she could even lactate healing potions. John wasn’t even sure he was into that, but the option intrigued.

“Alright, let’s continue. Still got the Skill Focus and then this round of level 50 Perks to go,” John reminded her.


Only one of those was a non-combat Skill Focus, so the choice was pretty obvious. Now John just had to select one more Perk and one Skill from the usual Artificial Spirit selections and he was done with her.


‘Wait a second, that’s the old UI!’ John thought. ‘I was promised a new UI in the patch!’


‘…I accept this perfectly fine reasoning, because I’m not a totally ungrateful customer,’ the Gamer thought. “I’d personally recommend Arc Lance so you have something to defend yourself with.”

“Hmmm, fine, just this once I’ll listen,” Delicia said.


All three of these were pretty good – although the third one was only good as a meme. There was such a thing as tits that were too large. Her F-cups were already straddling that line, and G-cups would be nearing the point of no return. John was already wondering when Delicia had last seen her toes.

“You want the safety or the convenience?” the Gamer asked the actual question. “My personal choice is always safety, but you have to tell me.”

“Yeah, I’d rather not die after I escaped a slow and crawling death into an immortal body… give me that Emergency Exit,” Delicia told him.

And with that, they were done. Well, Delicia was done, John had five more sets of 2 choices to go through. “If you would excuse us,” Nightingale told the gathering, “Delicia and I should have a conversation about the future.”

“Jumping right into it, eh, Gale?” Delicia asked, while following after the harpy towards the bus.

John was pretty sure the outcome of that talk would be good for him.