The Gamer Chapter 1317 – He be Gaming (Patreon)

It felt like a topsy-turvy world, for him and Sylph to return back to the summoning room and for her to be the one who had to leave. Like him, she had a lot of things to get in order so the vacation could happen without any hurdles.

‘Man, the administration must be annoyed with me at the moment,’ John thought. For the head of the executive and the entirety of the Collide Guild to switch in and out of the protocols about who they had to get signatures for was a chore. It muddled up the entirety of the bureaucratic processes, to have various leadership changes and stewards in a short period of time. John had been working uninterrupted for less than a month and already was telling people he would be off the grid for another month already. This time, without a good reason.

The Gamer didn’t actually have to wonder about what his administrators thought about all of this. There were spiders on the walls that let him know. General opinion was that they were indeed annoyed, but that they understood that one wanted a vacation after freeing another world from tyranny. That not being the actual reason was something John happily kept to himself. It sounded more heroic than burnout.

For today, Jake was doing the work. His second double was churning through all the paperwork he still could. As for his real body, the Gamer had been told that his face would be sat on if he showed it in his office. While that was a tempting invitation, John took the hint and resolved to stay home for the next week. An easing period, until he was ready for the actual vacation.

John returned to his apartment. There, he found Aclysia, doing as a housemaid did and wiping down every last surface with a dust wiper. Claire was with Nia today, getting some introduction on the inner workings of the elite side of the military.

“You’re the best,” John told his weaponized maid and kissed her on the cheek.

Aclysia stopped wiping a shelf to put a hand on her cheek and squeal happily. She jumped from one foot on the other. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she chanted. Her happiness was intense – way too intense for a simple kiss and a compliment. John just smirked, while she followed him with love-filled eyes. Motivated, the maid continued with her work after he laid down on the Couch.

The Gamer was always in the mood for a bit of lewd action. That being said, Aclysia had a house to keep clean. To delay her, he was not horny enough. Besides, it was fascinating to watch her do her job. The modern housekeeper had a great many utensils to make their job infinitely easier. Vacuum cleaners instead of brooms, dishwashers and washing machines instead of manual scrubbing, all of that with warm water in the house, to name only the largest contributors. Running a modern family home was far less of a chore than it had been two-hundred years ago.

There was a stark difference between the modern family of three or four people in a moderately sized apartment and a twenty-person household. Especially one marked by copious amounts of sex. Without the Cleaning Slimes crawling over the floor, removing the particularly clingy stains, both the main apartment and the attached spa area would have doubtlessly been an utter catastrophe or a charge of several hours per week.

As it stood, Aclysia was done with the majority of the apartment within thirty minutes. Only the bedroom remained. John accompanied her there, wanting to witness all of it and either serve as an entertaining conversation or as help.

Rarely did he think about the difficulties of changing the bedsheets on the harem-sized monstrosity they had. Superhuman strength was required to even lift the thing. As it turned out, both the mattress and the sheets were specially made. There were hooks around the rim of each sheet, which grabbed into special indentations at the bottom of the enormous foam construct. By having it designed that way, it was possible to get around the oval mattress and assure the sheets were nice and taut all the time.

“I’ll probably have to replace this one soon,” John said.

“Please inform me of new dimensions a week in advance so I can have several sheets tailored.”

John nodded, that was a more than reasonable request. Throwing this bed out was something he did not feel too bad about, since this was a Guild Hall created piece of furniture. The sheets, however, were crafted, so all of them would end up in a shredder. It was highly doubtful someone else had an appropriately sized bed.

There was no immediate need for this replacement. The harem had grown to a size that it started to be cramped in the current iteration. Much as John loved cuddling, with about 20 people involved, some of which were prone to moving in their sleep, there was such a thing as too much closeness. Space would alleviate such issues.

After the mattress, Aclysia went through the massive assortment of pillows. “I only change these every three days,” she informed John, her tone sounding apologetic. Three days were still ten times as frequent as the month John had given his bedsheets at a minimum when he had lived with his mother. Not that he had been a standard of cleanliness anyone should emulate.

John at least lent his help when it came to this, and ten minutes later they were done with the last bit of the bedroom.

At that point, John moved to the freshly cleaned and orange scented gaming room. He sat down at one of the many stations and dilly-dallied time away by going through several rounds of Slay the Spire. Card games like that were incredibly engaging to him these days, as were round based games in general. Whenever he played active games, like League of Legends, he felt he was cheating with his superhuman reaction times.

Most haremettes returned for lunch, although some were too busy with their things. Enough were present that John said, “I was thinking I should finally invest those three Class Levels I have flying around.”

“New Perks sound fun,” Rave agreed.

“First time I get to see this,” Claire said excitedly.

“What Classes are you thinking?” Momo inquired.

“I got three levels available and I’d like to just get all three out right now, for the hell of it. So I was thinking Golemcrafter, Martial Artist, and Harem Gamer, I have level ups for those three available.” The selection was arbitrary, in large part. Golemcrafter made the most sense, improving his double further was never a bad idea. Martial Artist he went with because he wanted to see if he could get an improved version of Mind of Work, thus preventing future problems. Harem Gamer was just a comfort Class that he was interested to see where it would take him.

The harem approved of his selection and he went through them in order.


“Well, that’s a pretty dull choice,” the Gamer said out loud and pressed the Hand of John option shortly after everyone had read it. John needed this third body to be a manifestation of general physical ability, of course he would take the general physical scaling option. “Let’s hope there’s something more interesting in the next Class.”


There was not. As a matter of fact, John found these even duller than the previous selection of three. That Martial Artist was a base Class among base Classes was incredibly apparent by just how weak these options were. Hit Combo was gutter tier trash. Beatrice would have been interested in it, but Beatrice also was a Dexterity build.

He effectively had a choice between 20 Endurance or 10 Endurance and 10 Strength. This was up from the previous iteration that gave him 1 Endurance every 100 levels. No difference to the Gamer. “Would you like me to be broader or a bit taller?” he asked the gathered harem.

That sparked a surprisingly heated debate. When voices were raised, they typically did so in playful frustration. Still, underlying that was a firm question: would they rather he be taller or have more chest width to cuddle.

The opinion of each haremette could be connected to their own height. The tallest and shortest haremettes were for Hale, either for reasons of wanting him to stand even taller above them or getting closer to their height. Those in the middle were for Sturdier Body.

In the end, the coalition of shorties and amazons won out, and John grew to 186 centimetres that day. “Alright, last one for today.”


This was considerably more interesting and yet also easily decided. Harem Proximity could be useful, but it was very niche and John’s additional senses already covered most of that distance. It would take a very, very specific situation for that to come in clutch.

Pleasing the Harem was tempting, as all increases of his girls’ enjoyment of life were. 5% were relatively little in the grand scheme of things.

Better Harem Comms were busted. There was no other way to put this. Giving every last haremette in his circle the ability to take pictures with their eyes was incredible. Communication aspects aside, the utility for spying was endless. Siena could infiltrate an area, take a bunch of ‘photos’, and Scarlett could then extract them from the system.

So, yeah, that was another choice were everyone agreed.

“That was quick and uneventful.” The Gamer leaned back. It was nice to get back into the swing of his abilities, in whatever small or big way there was. He grabbed his glass of orange juice and downed it in one go. “By the way, I found out where to go regarding the elemental Quest.”

“Oh? Where will it take us?”

“You won’t believe me when I tell you.”

“Is it Oklahoma?” Momo asked.

“…It is Oklahoma,” John grumbled. “Reading my mind is Jane’s job.”

“I don’t even bother when ya make it that obvious,” his girlfriend said. “Anyway, why there?”

“Apparently that’s the core of the tornado alley. Most of the tornadoes in the US spawn there. It’s the best bet we have.”

“That’s a lucky stroke of fate… kinda,” Momo said. “No overworking!”

“Let’s be real, a hurricane dragon is as much a threat to us as a prairie dog is to the average person,” John said.

“Speak for yourself,” Lee reminded him. “I’m weak.”

“Too bad, we’ll need you for this, since we have to locate a Natural Barrier.”

“…If I die, I’ll make you cry.”

“As if I would let you die, who else would I tease during school hours?” John asked and, with a little tension of his mind, made Lee moan where she sat. Of the many things he could control with his phone, the most fun thing certainly was the egg vibrator that Lee always had inside her on campus. It was easier than ever to regulate it, now that he could travel the signal waves. It also let him use her phone as a pitstop. That was especially nice because he could use the camera to see her reactions in real time.

“Can you not tease her when this is serious, perv?” Momo’s overly upset tone lined out how serious exactly she thought this actually was – which was not particularly.

In response, John snapped his fingers. “Momo, Trance.” After a few seconds, he decided to snap his fingers again. “Claire, Trance.”

Both maids slouched on the Couch, as if all life had suddenly been sapped out of them. Breathing calmly, eyes closed, they were the perfect showcase of relaxation. “What’s that about?” Rave asked with a smirk, poking the defenceless sassy maid in the cheek.

“Just keeping my afternoon entertainment here,” John told her with a smirk.

“Man, I’d love to see this, but I got stuff to do…” the feline Lightbearer sighed. “Ya gotta send me pictures with your mind.”

“Will do,” the Gamer promised.

“Ya also gotta promise me that ya won’t take the Quest too seriously,” Rave steered the topic back to the hurricane dragon. “I get that the dragon is, like, dangerous for mundane people and we’ll stop it before it goes nuclear. Still, can’t have ya go out there and stress yourself over that.”

“I’ll do my best not to let it get to me,” the Gamer promised. “By the way, how are things downstairs?” The question was directed at Nightingale, who had taken up the duty of being Fusion’s main representative to the guests from the Divided Gates. Most of those that had arrived two days ago were still around. The only notable person that had left so far was Osman, who had taken a flight back to Turkey this morning. Everyone else had made an announcement that they would stay for the week and have more of a look around. Totally understandable, John would not cross an ocean to only stay the weekend either.

“Nothing unusual to report. I have been conversing with Luna and taking her input on the design of my tea chamber.”

Truly nothing unusual then. He asked the other haremettes questions about this and that, while he still had them. One by one, the necessity of the day pulled them towards the door. Eventually, John was alone with just the two entranced maids, who remained motionless.

John changed that by picking both up and throwing them over his shoulders. Any reasonable woman would have snapped out of the trance by now, but they remained obediently unconscious. He carried them all the way to the Sex Dungeon.

It was time to have his afternoon fun.