May | Patch Notes 🌻 (Patreon)

HERE COMES MAAAAAAYYYYYYY! THE SUN IS FINALLY OUT!!! :D ☀️

🎶 i'm walking on sunshine, wooooooahhhh i'm walking on sunshine 🎶

Welcome to the May Patch Notes! I've been basking in the sun almost every day in the past week, it feels so nice to have the warm weather again. Hope you guys had a great April, and as they say, April showers brings May flowers, which means we've got more content coming your way. Anyways, let’s jump into some updates and fun for the sunny month of May!

📦 SHIPPING + FULFILLMENT UPDATES

PEEPs shipments are rolling out smoother with the introduction of our fulfillment partner! The only thing to note: some of our shipments through USPS have been getting incorrectly flagged as a small envelope delivery rather than letter postage. Because of this, some of you might have been getting charged extra for postage by USPS. Unfortunately, this is out of our control as USPS has been inconsistent with the way they categorize their packages. We’re still looking for a way to avoid this from happening, but if you were unable to receive a PEEP because of this issue, please let us know through Patreon DMs or through store@offlinetv.com and we can handle it from there!

🌼 ANNUAL SUBBIES - Ring + Plush / May Updates

Rings and plushie orders have been processed, and we’re aiming to receive them this month to ship them out to you guys ASAP in late May or early June! Keep an eye out for upcoming updates later this month or early June, but for now hold on tight our beloved Annusubbies 🫡

Have no fear, for we’re about to go through the tiers. (did i cook with this ?? bars ??)

1️⃣ Tier 1

• ⏱️ POOP 1: An Outdoor Adventure | TBD: Suns out, which means we’re finally touching grass again! Tune in for May’s POOP to see some fun outdoorsy activities we’re embarking on 🌱

• ⏱️ BREAKDOWN 1: DRUNK PRESENTATIONS 2 | 05/11: we’rewabreakign iaudown durnak presentaitons . … . !!! — wait, sorry, I sobered up a bit, let me rewrite that… We’re breaking down DRUNK PRESENTATIONS 2, an upcoming sequel to our last boozy banger!

• ⏱️ BREAKDOWN 2: RATATOUILLE | 05/25: Some of us know how to chef things up, some of us… not really. Come watch us break down an episode of talent cooking a liiiiiittle too much. 🧑‍🍳

• ⏱️ CLIPPIE 1 | 05/27: New month, new clippie! See what Lauren has in store for May’s clippie at the end of this month! If you haven’t already, make sure to check out her most recent April clippie - “Siblings or Dating”!

2️⃣ Tier 2

• ⏱️ OTV TRIES 1: Microwaves | 05/10: MICROWAVE RECIPES!!! A college staple is to try out different ezpz microwave recipes! We’re challenging talent to see if they can chef things up with some microwave magic.

• ⏱️ OTV TRIES 2: Mowing Lawns | 05/24: Remember how I said suns out, which means we’re finally touching grass? Well, we’re taking it on a whole new level, touching grass and mowing lawns for this month’s OTV Tries!

• ⏱️ CREW POD | TBD: We love sitting down and talking about what’s been going on behind the scenes, so don’t miss out on our crew’s updates for the month of May and future plans in store for the summer!

• ✅ OTV PODCAST: Full + Bonus Episode #4 | 05/06: Brodin and Jodi are back with another episode of the Patreon-exclusive bonus podcast! This time, they’re joined with Scarra to talk about all things content, and some bits and pieces about their job histories before streaming!

3️⃣ Tier 3

• ⏱️ LIVE WORK WITH US: Cleanup Time! | 05/15: We’re due for some cleaning! Tune into a little cozy and productive Work With Us stream where we Marie Kondo the OfflineTV house. 🧹

• ⏱️ LIVE CREW POD | TBD: Another month, another live Crew Pod! Come chat with us for this month’s Crew Pod. Date is TBD, but we’ll make sure to give you guys a heads-up 24 hours before the stream goes live!

• ⏱️ LIVE CALL-IN BRAINSTORMING SESSION | 05/21: Remember last month’s brainstorming session? We’re bringing it back this time, but call-in radio style! ☎️ We want to hear YOUR thoughts on all things regarding content, apparel, and everything in between! More info will be sent out on May 14th.

Yipee, that concludes May's Patch Notes! But before I sign off, I've got one last thing for you guys:

We all know QOTDs right? I introduce to you a new monthly Patch Notes addition: QOTMPN!!

QOTMPN (Question of the Monthly Patch Notes):

Who was your childhood cartoon/animated crush?

Me personally — hear me out: Cosmo from Fairy Odd Parents... no comment :D ANYWAYS, hope everyone has a great May, and happy graduation season to those who are graduating high school or college! See you guys for some fun in the sun for June! 🏖️

Swinging out,

Yan // Patroni’s Aunt May, OFFLINETV ☀️

(i’m running out of signing out puns for the months AHHH)