Closing the Orgasm Gap Updates (Patreon)

Thank you for the support here! It is a great help in allowing me to be off stream more to read, study, write, and otherwise engage in the creative labor that creating video essays will take. Here are some updates on what I’ve been doing!

I’m still considering myself in the research phases of making a video essay on the orgasm gap, though I have pages of script written. I really want to do well researched video essays. The sources I’m currently reading and pulling from are: Becoming Cliterate, Bow Down, and 12 Rules for Life.

Becoming Cliterate

A silly, sexy book aimed at getting you to open your legs so we can close the orgasm gap.

This book was continuously recommended the more I read about the orgasm gap. It’s educational and full of fun little sex puns. The author is shameless when it comes both to cumming and punning. Unfortunately, she may be shameless in spreading a bit of feminist misinformation, as well. She acknowledges she isn’t a historian (she’s a sex therapist), so she relies on other sources for a mini history section in her book. The history section is really interesting and made me realize a history section is helpful for understanding the problem at hand. Unfortunately, when looking for sources outside of the two feminist books she pulled from, I realized that at least the section on vibrators has been being presented as historical fact when in reality it appears to be a story pulled from a historical hypothesis that the original source has been trying to explain to people there isn’t support for the idea. I’ll be exploring this further, it’s a good reminder to cross reference sources. That tedious work is very important.

So I’m on my second read-through of this one. Even after reading multiple articles, research papers, and a literature analysis on the orgasm gap, this book helped shift my understanding on how to think about and approach the problem. I expect it will be an important source for my essay. Misinformation aside, I would recommend it for people with clitorises that are trying to orgasm for the first time or are trying to transfer their ability to orgasm through masturbation. There’s also a useful chapter at the end for people who may have sex with partners that have clitorises, which I’d also recommend!

Bow Down

Bow Down features a variety of good perspectives from pro dominatrixes and sex therapists while talking about the philosophy of domination. The book gets into plenty of conversations about kink, gender, power, and life.

I picked this up right after I agreed to dom a friend to explore my own intentions and philosophy. I immediately started seeing crossover with philosophies and conversations from Becoming Cliterate. Now, a week or so after picking the book up, I’m about to finish my first read through of it. I feel fairly critical of some of the ideas in it, though it does handle quite a few topics well. My main concern is it may slip into validating certain toxic masculinity behaviors as a way to break out of internalized sexism, but that could also be me working through my own gender traumas. On my second read through, I will aim to write down and further concern the ideas I feel critical towards. One area I feel critical towards her is regarding her perspective on fifty shades of grey. I need to flesh out my own perspective more deeply on the topic, I may consider re-reading it, but I’ll need to get ahold of the book. I feel particularly inclined to re-read it for my own sake as a kinky person moving through the world and talking about kink and sexuality, but additionally because it comes up in 12 Rules of Life and that dialogue is also of interest.

Undeniably, this book has helped me take my first steps into a dominant role I’ve always wanted to try to embody.

12 Rules for Life

The infamous Jordan Peterson book where he tells you that you’re surprisingly like a lobster in the first chapter, twists some basic self-help concepts into a conversation about how inherent hierarchy and patriarchy is, and other fascistic bullshit.

12 Rules for life I’m still reading and processing, but it is a slight interest to dive into Jordan Peterson as a Christian “scholar” or Jordan Peterson as a Christian and the ideas that he takes out of his understanding of Christianity. I’d like to see other prominent Christian and other prominent religious perspectives on the same topics I’d like to dive into regarding Jordan Peterson’s perspective: his ideas around sexuality, evolutionary psychology (certainly doesn’t seem typically compatible with Christianity), and reproduction. I want to acknowledge that some of these prominent ideas are anti-orgasm gap relievers, except in the rare case that getting a woman off becomes a part of their masculinity. However, because of how insecurity around masculinity often functions and how overemphasized and salient it is for the people that read and consume this kind of content, this sexuality being tied to ego problem is not good for closing the orgasm gap, but further reinforcing a problem we already have: women lying to protect their partner’s egos.

Jordan Peterson on red-pillers and incels would be particularly interesting. My thesis here may end up being that these ideologies do damage that you will have to unlearn. They may seem based in “reality” but in reality they are mostly going to do damage to one’s self-confidence and direct anger towards women, rather than directing the person towards exploration and learning the skills to become a compassionate, kind lover.

But would an alpha male care to be a compassionate, kind lover?

Video Production Side

Outside of researching and writing, I’ve also been considering other elements of the production process. I’m thinking of two separate characters to read the script. This will be my first attempt at trying to play two different, distinct gender roles. The concepts right now are a dark, sexy femme, and a soft masculine dark academia professor. I’ve been looking for clothes for them, specifically the dark professor look. I’m hoping both to film with these looks and do little photoshoots with them for the patreon as a way to explore gender, power, sexuality, and fashion.

I’ve also decided I will edit this video. There’s a lot of work to do still, but I’m proud of how much I’ve done so far! Thank you again for making that possible.