Why Should I Smile? (Ch 1) (Patreon)

I guess everyone was right. You can’t be a hero without a quirk. My entire life I held onto that dream. The dream of being a hero. It’s what got me through the abuse, the vitriol thrown my way as thoughtlessly as nodding to a stranger you accidentally made eye contact with. I never even felt the need to use the accommodation made for quirkless people by the government. I always thought that I’d become strong enough that I wouldn’t need it. But now…

I stare out at the city from the rooftop, abandoned by my idol the same way everyone else in my life has abandoned me. My friends. My father. Really, the only person I have left is Mom.

Which is why I won’t do it. I won’t take Bakugou’s advice. She’d be heartbroken, and I don’t want to die knowing that I’ll be the cause for her to spiral into her own depression. I don’t want to risk her following me, on the chance that she blames herself.

But… I’m tired. Tired of a world that approves of the actions of those with powerful quirks, regardless of what those actions are. I’m tired of the blatant discrimination against those without quirks. I’m tired of the beatings, of hiding my bruises from Mom. Of being told my dreams are worthless, over, and over, and over again.

Maybe dying wouldn’t be so bad? It’s not like there’s any worth in me being alive anyways. Like Aldera loves to say, quirkless are remnants of a bygone era. Me dying would just be making more room for the next.

Eventually I sigh, making my way down from the building. But when I walk through the front doors, I hesitate. On one hand, I can head home, but what would I even do? More studying? I’ve basically memorized the textbooks for my year level, and I’ve at the very least skimmed through most of the high school level books.

It turns out that when you don’t have friends or any form of social life because everyone hates you, studying becomes one of a person’s favorite activities. Well, that and online games. But I was always more focused on learning as much as I could in the hopes of being a hero. Still, online, nobody cares about quirks, as long as it’s not something that’s letting you cheat. There’s a couple people I regularly game with, so at least I wasn’t totally alone growing up?

But…I just don’t think I can handle Mom seeing me like this right now. I sigh as I head in the opposite direction, towards the villain fight I heard from the rooftop. Sure, it’s probably over by now, but maybe I can see if any heroes are helping with the aftermath? And if the area is severely damaged…

Well. I may not want to kill myself, but I wouldn’t complain if a building were to fall on me.

`~`

When I get to the site of the fight, I can’t help but be surprised at what I see. The Sludge Villain who attacked me earlier is pulling the same trick with someone else, and I can tell exactly who it is by the explosions destroying the area.

I wait a second for it to appear. The fear. The worry. The overwhelming desire to save my childhood friend turned bully. But, there’s nothing. Just a dreary sense of emptiness. I should probably be concerned about that, but it doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s not like I’m going to be a hero, saving and reassuring people with a smile on my face.

Speaking of heroes, why are these ones not doing anything? The situation for Backdraft and Kamui Woods is at least a little reasonable, but they’re both experienced pros. Shouldn’t they be able to focus on the most pressing issue? Taking care of that one would reduce, or even eliminate the others! Instead, Backdraft is fighting the fires, simply switching targets whenever Bakugou explodes something else. Kamui Woods has his arms crossed and is glaring at the Sludge Villain, evidently worried about the flames. But… he could just extend his wood and pull my bully out. It’s not like he’ll go up in flames the moment fire touches him, and heroes are meant to help people even if they get hurt themselves. I never did find out whether or not he can feel the woods he extends…

Death Arms doesn’t even have the excuse of the flames though, merely saying that he’s not strong enough to punch away the slime. Is he stupid? He doesn’t need to punch away the slime! Just walk up and pull Bakugou out, which would let Backdraft put out the fires, Kamui Woods trap the villain in his Lacquer Chain Prison, and Mt. Lady to keep over watch for any potential developments!

Really, she’s the only one mostly justified in her hesitation. It’s still not acceptable, but it’s at least understandable. She doesn’t have the experience the other heroes have, she barely debuted today. Not to mention how a lot of hero schools tend to turn out heroes too reliant on their quirk. And it’s clear that she didn’t graduate from Shiketsu or UA. They have an air of confidence around them, of pride from graduating from such prestigious schools.

She doesn't. Instead she’s staring down at the villain with clenched fists while she chews on her lip from frustration.

I sigh, walking over to a nearby vending machine and buying a bottle of water. I grab it then quickly make my way towards the hero in question, maneuvering around the crowd watching and recording everything. Not that I’m one to judge, I’ve spent most of my life hunting down hero fights to watch and analyzing their quirks myself.

“Now that I think of it, it’s pretty surprising that I’m not dead already. I mean, how many times have I scrambled to the front of a crowd to watch a hero take on a dangerous villain? Then not even flinch when the fight ends up practically right in front of me? Maybe I’ve just…never cared about my life? It would make sense, especially when you take into account how often people tell me I’m worthless. Even if I just accepted that myself, I guess I’ve always been looking to die.”

“Uh, kid? Do you…need a hug?”

“Huh?” It’s only when I hear a concerned voice that I realize I was muttering again. Except instead of analyzing quirks, I was analyzing how little my life matters. Which is true, but that’s no reason to get other people concerned about me, especially…Mt. Lady?

I blink at her for a second, staring at the unease on her face even while she shoots glances back towards the sound of explosions. “Shouldn’t you be focused on the villain?” I ask bluntly, confused about why she’s suddenly in front of me.

She winces, letting out a huff as she crosses her arms defensively. “There’s nothing I can do. They’re too far away from the entryway for me to reach when I use my quirk. I also can’t go in without potentially collapsing the buildings. And…” She gestures down at herself with gritted teeth. “I don’t have any kind of physical enhancements that would let me go in and take them on, not when they don’t have a solid body.”

I blink again. “Huh. That’s a surprisingly well reasoned argument.”

“The hell do you mean-!”

I interrupt her sudden shouting by thrusting the water bottle in her face, which she instinctively takes. I have enough experience with Bakugou to know that the only way to keep perpetually angry people calm is to stop them before they work themselves up. “Keep the water in your mouth when you grow.”

“Huh?” Now it’s her turn to blink at me as she alternates a confused look between the water and me. “Uh, why?”

“Because it will grow with you, then you can spit it out on the villain and dilute him enough that the hostage can get free. Even if he can’t, at the very least he’ll have to stop making explosions, which will allow all of you to make a move to capture the villain.”

“How would-”

I hold up a hand to stop her. “Believe me or not, the choice is yours.” I turn around, deciding to go home. It’s not like I can do anything anyways. And like Bakugou always says, we’re not friends. If he finds out that I even appeared concerned for him, he’d probably attack me. Not that he won’t do that anyways, but it would probably be worse than usual.

“Kid! What’s your name?”

I look back at the hero and raise an eyebrow. Why would… Oh well, it’s not like the reason really matters.

“My name is Izuku Midoriya.”

And with her question answered, I take my leave. 

`~`

My dinner with Mom is done in silence, and I purposefully ignore the frequent glances she sends me over her bowl of katsudon. Eventually though, she puts it down and fully looks at me, wringing her hands as she does when she’s worried.

“Izuku… is everything ok?”

I tilt my head, putting down my own bowl of katsudon. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” And for once… I’m not lying. I’ve given up on being a hero, which means that I can actually deal with some of my perpetual problems.

The only reason I didn’t test out for an early graduation from middle school is because hero courses don’t accept students who do so. Something along the lines of them lacking the patience to absorb the lessons being taught. So now that I won’t be applying, I can do so without worry, which will mean I won’t have to spend another year being bullied by discriminatory classmates.

I also sent in my application to apply for the accommodation for quirkless, and it should go through before I have to return to school on Monday, which I’m sure will cause everyone there a surprise. It’s nice that I don’t have to wait for the government to send me one, since my father left his when he abandoned us.

So, not only will my bully problems vanish, but I’ll also be protected and be able to get a job! The question is what I should apply to. Or rather, what job I can apply to that won’t reject me out of hand for being quirkless. But I’ll have time for that later, right now I’m talking with Mom.

“But sweetie…” She trails off while looking at me worriedly. But before she can continue, we hear the doorbell ring. We exchange confused looks before she gets up to answer it. We learned long ago that too many people don’t appreciate someone quirkless answering the door, and who else could be coming to visit except one of the neighbors?

It doesn’t take long after I hear the door open that it closes, and I’m just preparing myself for her question when her voice sounds out from the living room. “Izuku, sweety, would you mind coming to see our guest?” Her voice is even more worried than usual, and I couldn’t for the life of me know what kind of news this stranger brings that would put her in that mood.

But I can say that, of everything, I never would have expected to see Mt. Lady standing in our living room wearing civilian clothing. She lets out a breath of relief upon seeing me. “Thank goodness I got the right address.”

“Um, Mt. Lady? I’m sorry, but why are you here?”

She looks taken aback while my mother scolds me lightly. “Izuku! That’s no way to talk to a guest.”

The seemingly off-duty hero waves the offense off to the side easily. “No, it’s alright. It’s a fair question considering I just randomly popped up at his house after a, what, five minute conversation?”

“More or less.” I dip my head in acknowledgement, gesturing towards the couch. “Would you like to take a seat? Some water?”

She takes me up on the offer and sits but refuses the water. “I’m not thirsty. Speaking of…” She trails off leadingly before pulling something out of her purse and holding it out to me. “How did you know the water would grow with me?”

I accept the empty water bottle from her, tilting my head in confusion and answering her question with a question. “Why wouldn’t it grow with you?

She lets out an amused breath while my mother lightly smacks my head. “I like the sass, but really; how did you know? I didn’t know, and it’s my quirk!”

Is it really that hard to figure out…? “Well, when you change your size, you don’t start starving when you get bigger, and probably wouldn’t explode if you were to eat a giant portion of something for whatever reason. Which means that at the very least, nonliving things inside your body change size with you.”

“Hmm.” She rubs her chin while nodding along with my explanation. “That does make sense… But what about other things? Like, say, the rubble from a building gets in my mouth somehow and I accidentally swallow it, what would happen?”

“Well, either it would still change shape with you, you wouldn’t be able to change back until it’s expelled from your body, or you’d be forced to throw it up in order to change. Though I suppose that it’s also possible that your quirk’s inherent safety measures might not account for such a situation, in which case you’d probably just die as your body tries to shrink around an object larger than it.”

I wave the thought away dismissively, ignoring the way her face turns slightly green and my mother stares at me with wide eyes. “Of course that last possibility is extremely unlikely. So long as you don’t swallow anything living, then you shouldn’t have a problem.”

“...Kid, you’re kind of creepy.” Mt. Lady delivers her assessment bluntly, to which I shrug.

“I get that a lot. I just enjoy analyzing quirks.”

“Which actually brings us to why I’m here.” She leans forward and rests her elbows on her legs while bringing her hands together in front of her face. “How would you like a job?”