The Daily Grind - Chapter 274 (Patreon)

"The world sees the armor, the shield, the lance, but in private, to gentle beats, a knight shall dance." - Sir Cedric the Harmonious, Lofi Beats for the Medieval Knight You Always Wanted To Be-

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James didn’t have to go too deep into the Research basement to find who he was looking for, which was a small mercy.  It was seven AM, he felt like he shouldn’t be awake, but this was a big day for a lot of people.  And James had prep work to do.

He’d woken up with too many people in his bed; Arrush and Keeka curled up in the coveted soft middle section, with James and Anesh pushed back to the edges over the course of the night and the way both ratroaches seemed to be aggressive with their tails while they slept.  Alanna and Sarah were already up by the time James had yawned himself awake and extracted himself to throw on pants and head out.  The two girls engaged in some kind of flirtation war in the kitchen, which James had slinked away from with a smile and the intention to not intrude.

It was a great way to start the day.  But it did mean that he hadn’t gotten coffee or anything before coming into the Lair and starting to run down the checklist of final preparations that he’d been setting up all week.

Some of which had brought him here, to Research.  A place that seemed to share James’ opinion about seven AM; it was quiet down here, even the shellaxies were asleep.  But at least, with the Lair having its own real living quarters now, the old style of having napping camracondas curled up in corners of the hallways was done.  Now the basement was just cluttered, but in a way that felt like people knew where everything was.

His prey were the only two people who were awake, sitting in the middle of the Big Room that Research had stopped using as personal workspaces, and instead transitioned fully into using as some kind of mad scientist lair.  The shellaxy pen in the middle was surrounded by screens and whiteboards and corkboards, and while the former were all off the latter were covered in drawings and formula and recovered material and printed reports.  All that was missing was some magnets and red string to connect….

Oh, no, there it was.  James hadn’t seen it on entry, because he’d been looking at the board that was all purple orb variations by species, and that didn’t have any red string.

The room had a muffled feeling to it.  Like all the ideas and tests and clashing systems of magic that got picked apart down here were taking a morning coffee break themselves while two men sat on rolling chairs on opposite sides of a desk piled with boxes and Officium Mundi dungeontech and talked in soft voices.

“I’ve been looking over the civil logistics training documents that Karen gave us, and I’m starting to realize that a bag of holding might not be as useful as we thought.”  Reed told Nik, swirling something in the mug he stared down into.

Nik was leaned precariously back in his chair, especially considering the chair had wheels.  “Really?”  He asked, more out of an obligation to the conversation than actual curiosity as he stared at the ceiling with tired eyes.

“The throughput is too low and there’s no specific pain point to apply it to.”  Reed explained with the voice he used when he was walking through a problem himself.  “You can’t stock a supermarket by hand, you know?  You use a forklift.  Mostly.  The point is you can’t forklift a bag of holding.”  He hadn’t noticed James approaching, instead staring at what was left of his drink like he wasn’t sure if he wanted it or not.

“… what about… a standard sized shipping container of holding?”  Nik asked, rocking back and forth on the swivel chair, his feet propped against the underside of the desk.

Reed raised his eyebrows.  “Now that has legs.”  He said, deciding to drain the dregs of whatever he had in the mug.

Abruptly stopping, Nik focused on his fellow Researcher with a rapid shake of his head, short black hair whipping against his forehead from the force. “No we shouldn’t do that, James would get mad.”  He said.  “Also when it goes wrong I don’t want to fight an ambulatory shipping container.”

“It’s true, I would.”  James introduced himself to the conversation, leaning on the edge of a standing whiteboard that had ‘teleport totem tests today, blue trials canceled’ written on it.  “Gentlemen.”

”Don’t you call me that.”  Nik said as if on reflex as Reed tried not to jolt in surprise.

James paused, not quite sure how to reply to that from Nik in particular.  “Uh… I don’t…”

With a sigh, Reed waved a hand over the stack of cardboard boxes that obscured half his form.  “He’s been doing this for everything.  Ignore it.  Good morning.”

”No it’s not.”  Nik said, like being a contrarian was just on his to-do list today.

Actually, James wasn’t sure if it wasn’t.  “Is this an infomorph thing?”  He asked.  “Is that what’s happening?  Wait, no, I don’t have time for this.  I’m here for several things, so this is an interrogation now and you’re going to give me what I want because while I have been informed that I don’t make the rules, I certainly do get a lot of access to weird things I ask for.”

”…Yeah, okay.”  Reed said, like he’d understood that.  “This is for the ceremony today, yeah?  Not some new thing?  Because I’m already awake at 7 AM and I can only be pushed so far.”

James nodded at him, or at least, in his general direction.  Maybe Reed could see him at the angle he was sitting, James didn’t know, and he was comfortably leaning now.  “Correct.  First, my special request.”

Reed’s hand came up and opened one of the boxes, fishing around without looking before the young man eventually got annoyed enough to heave out a sigh and stand up to look for his target.  “Here.”  He handed James a smaller cardboard box, the corrugated cardboard intently familiar to James’ hands that had a lifetime of shoving trading cards in boxes exactly like this.  “Tests have been really hard to do for this, because it seems to be… ugh…”

”Vibes based.”  Nik grimly chimed in.  “Which you’d think I’d love, but it’s just hard to explain what it does.”

”Yes.  Well.  That.”  Reed sat back down, shoulders tense as he licked his lips and tried to explain to James anyway.  “Poetic might be a better way to say it.  The thing clearly has its own consistent definitions for both ‘winner’ and ‘momentum’, but they’re nebulous and flexible in a way that’s hard to write reports on.  Anyway, I’m using a lot of words to tell you that it should do something.  But what it does is tricky.  I don’t think it’s gonna send Alex into a wall though.”

Nik sighed.  “There goes my revenge plan.”  He said.

James and Reed both flicked narrowed eyes to him, expressions concerned and annoyed respectively, before they looked back at each other.  “Well, thanks.”  James said, deciding to not ask why Nik was seeking revenge.  He shook his head like that would shove that part of the conversation into its own convenient box. This just wasn’t the day for it.  “How about the packages?  Or should I ask the armory guys about that?”

”You should ask your boyfriend about that.”  Reed said, and then rolled his head around before James could say anything.  “The human one.  Wait, that might not… Anesh.  Anesh would know.”

”I also know.”  Nik say cryptically.

”Are you okay?”  James asked, ire and concern mixing in his words.

Nik spun another loop in his chair.  “I dunno.  I feel like I lost focus on what I actually wanted to do here, long term.  And the whole thing today is just driving it home for me, that I held myself back.  I got distracted hanging out here and making friends with mimics and playing with magic items, and I forgot I was supposed to be a hero or something.”  He said in the same even tone that he’d been using all conversation.  A little snarky, but like there was nothing particularly weird about what he was throwing out there.  “Also I’m tired.  Anyway, the packages are in two parts stored upstairs, and they’re labeled for if you need them for the ceremony or if they’re for after.”

”He’s been doing this too.”  Reed explained to James.

”…what, having a midlife crisis at the age of… Nik, how old are you?  Eighteen?”

”I’m twenty six.”

”Jesus, really?  I mean…”

”No, it’s too late, you said it.  I’m putting you on the revenge list.”

James bit his lip and nodded.  “I’ll look forward to it.”  He settled on.  “Alright.  Back to the actual questions, the gathering space?”

”I’m heading up there in about twenty minutes.”  Reed said.  “We have an interlocked totem setup that’s been tested for exactly this kind of thing, but it does mean basically everyone in Recovery and anyone they have kidnapped for this are gonna be helping us move furniture in and out of the space.  Twice.  But hey, at least I’ve got exercise potion.”  He said it glibly, but James suddenly noticed just how different Reed was looking now than what his mental image of the guy was like.  He wasn’t some kind of specimen of peak human capability, he was still soft and plump, but there was a layer of muscle under it now.  “We should look into getting another place.  An actual gathering space for big events, and not just a room that we can adjust the orange totem slider on.”

”I think we can probably do that.”  James said.  “Hell, we can could probably get a good spot in Townton.  Maybe build an amphitheater or something.  I dunno.  I feel like we should get some weird public works projects going on.  Anyway.  Thanks, I’m gonna get moving, I’ll see you two sciency boys tonight?”

”Don’t you-“

”Nik I feel like you’re causing unintentional gender conflict here.  You, specifically.  For these specific statements.”

NIk paused in his spinning.  “Oh.  Hadn’t actually thought of that.”  He said.  And then smiled, chest shaking with a few silent laughs.  “I hadn’t even considered it.”  He repeated softly.

”Okay, that’s really cool.  I’m gonna keep calling you whatever.”  James said with a snap of his fingers, glad that someone was having a good morning.  “Later!” He walked off, Reed raising a hand behind him to send him on his way.

_____

James left a different way than he’d come in, heading for a different stairwell that would take him to a different basement.  The elevator was convenient, and weirdly nowhere near its throughput limit for the Lair’s population, but he felt like walking.  There were people around now, even his short conversation bringing the time up to the point where Researchers who either just woke up or hadn’t slept arrived to their various projects.  Humans and camracondas, mostly, but James was happy to see a few ratroaches around and helping out as they adapted to their new world.  Also at least one inhabitor, though he had to catch himself as he realized his brain had the stray thought that they were ‘kinda human’.  That was reductive, incorrect, and also kinda just rude, though as far as James knew no inhabitor would care the first or last quality.

He passed by several rooms with safety glass observation windows, closed off spaces that were set up as workstations or design labs.  In one of them, a couple engineers that James was pretty sure never slept were tinkering with an increasingly complex prototype design for a space elevator; impossible magic making the fundamentally simple device a potential reality.  In another, a cluster of computers sat powered down, waiting for testing with the latest half-organic skulljack enabler programs.  Another room had a workbench covered in construction tools and a series of half-assembled totem components, the lights off but the orange orbs on a high shelf illuminating it in an almost grim light anyway.

It was comfortable.  Familiar, really.  This wasn’t just a basement they stuck random collected dungeontech in anymore.  This was a place where professionals - homegrown or otherwise - came together to learn about the magical world and turn weird effects into tools.

And James would love to just spend a month down here.  But today was a big day.

He headed past a dozen different cool ideas and experiments that were being kept isolated for safety, moving through the mildly confusing concrete basement halls until he got to the stairwell that would take him down to the living quarters.  From there, it was actually really easy to get to where he was going, because this basement was kind of just two big rooms with a couple small connector halls.

And one of those big rooms was artificially, magically, impossibly big.  What had just been something like an underground structural support or maybe part of a parking garage now repurposed into apartments.  Nice apartments, in three different styles, replicated by orange totems and compressed into a space they shouldn’t have fit in.  Not all of them were occupied, and some were used as small community spaces instead of living quarters, but this one basement still had the capacity for maybe six hundred people.  Well, six hundred humans.  The number went up a bit when you considered that a lot of camracondas preferred living with larger groups.  And then went down when you accounted for ratroaches who needed more personal space for safety and mental health reasons.

The courtyard had a sunrise coming through the skylight overhead, amplified by a couple green orb effects, painting the healthy greenery that had been laid down into the artificial garden in beautiful light.  There were already a bunch of people up and about here, setting up long tables and some simple decorations.  James had vetoed whoever had tried to get a confetti cannon.

He was here to meet with a few people, but a pair of younger girls spotted him first as they were leaving one of the spatially convenient doors to the internal apartment hallways, and headed his way.  One of them was still too young for it to show, but it was bizarre to James to see in the older girl a close mirror to Alanna.

”Hey uncle James!”  The younger girl said with the kind of devious smirk that younger kids had when they knew they were doing something transgressive and annoying.  Which, of course, made it funny.

”Rae shut up.”  Erin, the older sister shoved a hand down on the younger girl’s head.  “Do you know where our sister is?”  She asked James more directly, with almost the exact same bluntness that he had come to be familiar with from Alanna.

James grinned as Rae struggled to escape the grip on her head that Erin had going on.  “Be nice to your sister.”  He said softly.  “And I haven’t seen Alanna today, but I think she’s on shift right now.”  He took a brief moment to query the Order’s constantly updated roster with his skulljack.  “Yeah, she’s down… up… she’s in another basement on standby.”  James had given up knowing which basement was which.

”Oh.”  The older sister’s face twisted in the same way Alanna’s did when she was trying to avoid showing anger, and suddenly, James realized that wasn’t an Alanna trait.  That was a defense mechanism.  “Is she… okay?”  Erin asked a probing question.

With a tilt of his head, James tried to figure out why she was asking that.  “Yeah?”  He said.  “Why?”

”No reason.”

James didn’t believe that at all, and in retaliation, decided to use his secret weapon against teenagers; earnest vulnerability.  “Is this because you’re worried about her having the same kind of job as your dad did?”

Erin’s eyes sharpened into a vicious glare as her younger sister went silent.  ”How-!”

”Come on.”  James said softly.  “You think the thing with your sister is a casual fling? I’ve known her half my life.  I knew before I made a habit of kissing her.”  James let a grin take over his face as he watched Rae make a childish gagging.  “Point is… I dunno, she’s good at this, and she’ll be fine.  She told you she was bulletproof, right?”  James was never sure who knew what about who could do what.

”We need her for something!”  Rae told him with all the pure assurance someone her age could bring to bear.

”Yeah, she’ll be back in about an hour.  So unless you flooded your kitchen and…” James measured their reactions.  He didn’t have Alanna’s empathy power, but he was pretty sure if he’d guessed right they would have done something.  “…I don’t think you did, you should be okay, right?”

”Yeah.  Just thought you’d know if she’d ditched us.”  Erin said with annoyance.

”That happened once, as far as I know, and it was because of a… well, it’s fine.”  James didn’t want to talk about what had happened.  “Also, I’m kinda busy!  I’ve gotta go bother some people who didn’t do anything wrong.  You kids need me for anything?”

”Don’t call me a kid.”

”Bye uncle James!”

James gave a relaxed laugh as he left the two to their own devices, which might be a mistake.  He kinda wanted to correct Rae and say that, if anything, he and Alanna counted as common-law married and that would make him her brother in law.  But that would feel weird, and then Rae would just call him ‘brother James’, and he wasn’t nearly monkish enough to pull off that title.

He wove his way through the stone planters and the rows of bamboo that made the courtyard garden feel alive and cozy without actually blocking lines of sight that much.  The paths that led to the different entrance doors of the apartments were actually mostly just straight lines, for efficiency, but there were a few loops and curves in the greenery that made for small seating areas or walkable spirals if someone just wanted to stretch their legs.  Or whatever limbs they walked on.

It was in one of those spaces, on a bench with a pair of smoothed stone bowls on each of its curved ends for camracondas, that James found his prey.  Alex, Simon, and Spire-Cast-Behind.  Partly waiting for him, partly looking like they were waiting for their own executions.

”You guys understand this is supposed to be a fun day, right?”  James asked them as he settled his butt on the chunky natural rock someone had brought down here to use as a centerpiece of this part of the garden.  “And we aren’t actually going to murder you if you go off script.  When she said that, Karen was being… I mean I’m pretty sure Karen was… look I won’t let her actually murder you.”

“I hate you.”  Spire-Cast-Behind said bluntly.

”Yeah, I regret this a lot.”  Simon said.

Alex just broke out into a high pitched giggle that ended with her pulling her fingers down her face like she was trying to yank her skin off.  “Why did we say yessssss.” She groaned.

”You’re all kinda dumb.  It’s one of the requirements.”  James told them with a beaming cheerful smile.  “So, I don’t see Sarah, is she-“

”Here!”  Sarah announced herself, sliding around the side of the bamboo in a three-point stance before she kicked off the ground in an actual freestanding flip, landing in the perfect position to lean back against the same rock James was.  Arms folded, not even breathing heavily, the sky blue skirt she was wearing completely unruffled.  “Alright, are we ready to go over the ceremony outline?”

Simon faced James, jutting a finger out at Sarah’s relaxed form.  “Make her a paladin.”  He ordered James.  “How did you even do that?!”

”I’m kinda curious too.”  James asked.  “Hey, remember when you had your neck broken?  And look at you now.  Navigating like you’ve got a dodge roll and a hatred of pots.”

”First off, all the pots around here were made in the pottery class, and I would never break any of their stuff for gems, you ding dong.”  Sarah tapped James on the nose as he held still and failed to react to the prod.  “Also, we have three things that heal bones, and my own Health, so I’m fine.  You especially don’t get to fret over me, mister ‘look how many bullets fit in my shoulders’.”

”Okay, ow.”  James said, holding a hand to his heart.

”Yeah, that’s what people like you say when you’re shot!”  Sarah’s nod was a whiplike blur.

”I just wanted to make sure you were safe to kick flip off of concrete!  Why am I the bad guy here?!”  James demanded lightly.

”It’s been two years since that!”

”No shit?”

”Well, not exactly.  But it’s been a while.”

”Yeesh.  I feel like it was a lot less.”

Alex leaned over Simon to whisper at both her fellow paladin aspirants at once.  “Mom and dad are fighting.”  She said in a dramatic stage whisper.

Spire-Cast-Behind had been twitching her head back and forth between Sarah and James as they bantered, but now she settled back into her curled position.  “At least they are-“

”Alright, enough joking.”  Sarah said with the glowing smile she was so well known for.  “I’m just here to make sure we go over cues, and the general outline.”

”Curse.”  Spire said, covering the word with a hiss.  Their reprieve had been short lived.

Sarah pretended she hadn’t heard that, while James just covered an abrupt yawn with the back of his hand.  “Now!  You three poor innocent souls have two points that are your main roles, and that all works around James here.” Sarah suddenly had a clipboard in her hand, despite everything being available through their skulljacks.  She liked the immediacy of paper.  “Let’s do a quick run of the timeline.”  She pointed at James with a pencil that might or might not be a deadly weapon.

”Right.  So, we open with just me, I introduce the conceit just in case anyone forgot why they’re there…”

”Ooh, I like how that sounds.”  Alex said.

Sarah shushed her.  “It’s your celebration, you dummy!”

”…then I’ll introduce these three one by one.”  James motioned to the paladins.

”Do we need to give speeches?”  Simon asked.

Like an unrelenting royal executioner, Sarah nodded.  “It’s important!  Are you all ready for that?”  Every one of them said ‘no’ in unison, including James.  “Excellent!”  Sarah said.  “Now, after that, there’s more James talking.  And then a cue, Jaaaaames?”

”Yeah, so, it’s hard to miss.  I’ll say something about our shared future, and throw to you three, and you’ll be presented with the world’s most dramatic USB drive.  Then you’ll take your oaths, which you absolutely must have ready,” he met their eyes, the joking mood pushed aside for a second, “like, actually.  This is something that might feel silly, but it’s not.  This is an important part of it.  So if you need help, speak up now.”

”No, I know what mine is.”  Simon said, squaring up his shoulders and giving a confident nod.

Spire-Cast-Behind turned her head.  “TQ helped me write mine.”

”I’m pretty sure mine is gonna be the worst, but I’m good to go.”  Alex confirmed with a shaky thumbs up.  “But… I know it’s way too late to complain now, but you guys are way too into this, right?  Like, is this actually necessary?”

James turned to look at Sarah, and inclined his chin when he saw she was waiting to see which of them wanted to answer.  “Go for it.”  He told her.

Swishing her skirt as she leaned forward and stepped away from the rock, Sarah started talking with wide sweeps of her arms.  “It’s not necessary, but neither is food beyond a protein bar!”  She told Alex before spinning on her toes and facing the soon to be paladin.  “This is a show.  For everyone else, so they have a memory to mark the important moment, and for you, so you know that things have changed.  We’re using ceremony and extravagance to create a cognitive rubicon, because it’s important.  Because it lets us tell everyone including you - especially you - that things are different now.”  Sarah took a deep breath.  “And it reminds us of something we need to be reminded of.”

”What?”  Simon asked.  “That we have a lot of free time?”

James snorted.  “No.”  He said, folding his arms and pulling in on himself a little bit.  “That it’s okay to hope.  That they can be less afraid.  Because you’re there for them.”  He let Sarah tag him in a high five as they switched who was explaining.  “You three are nervous, I get that.  I am too.  But this is important because it’s more than just changing a line on the roster for my obscure title.  This is showing off.  It’s telling you that you’re ready, and everyone else that we believe in you.  Got it?”  He didn’t tell them the other, secret reason.  But that might not even come up, and it certainly wouldn’t make them feel any more comfortable.

“I don’t think I got it.”  Alex admitted.  “But I’m kinda dumb.”

”Touche.”

Sarah made some kind of squeaking noise at them as she fluttered her hands and tried to get them to stop bantering.  “No, no time for this!  I have to get back to helping Melody with the sound setup!  Now go through the outline!”

”…Our sound tech is named Melody?”  Simon couldn’t help it, he had to ask.  Then he got a wide eyed begging look from Sarah and his resolve crumbled.  “Right, sorry.  James talks, introduces us, we talk… uh… what order do we go in?”

”I wish to be second.”  Spire-Cast-Behind said.  “It would be strange for me to be first, but I do not wish to give the impression that I am last due to being the outsider species.”

”I’m cool with going last.”  Alex said magnanimously, tipping backward on the stone bench and sticking her head into the bamboo behind her.  “And not just because I don’t want to give a speech.”

Sarah made a note and then updated the outline on their skulljacks, her integration with the technology that she had been so terrified of previously shown off with casual grace.  “So we’ll go Simon, Spire, Alex.  And then?”

”Then it’s back to me.”  James said.  “I talk, direct them to make a choice and take an oath, they do that… same order?”

”Same order.”  Sarah confirmed.

He nodded, shifting on the convenient sitting rock.  “And then back to me, I make a dramatic gesture, and make a formal announcement.  Then people clap a little, and-“

”Camracondas do not tend to clap.”  Spire-Cast-Behind reminded him.

”…I don’t… Spire it’s not even 9 AM, please.”  James begged.  “I would love to sort out camraconda species-centric cultural indications of adulation later, but Sarah’s gonna explode if we keep her too long.” The serpent, quietly hiding her own nerves, just nodded at him.  “Anyway, a little audience participation, and then I step back and you three are set loose into the crowd to talk to people and be seen.  And that you have a say in.  We’ll basically be having a day-long event, but you don’t need to be around for all of it if you don’t think you can handle it.”

”I can, I’ll be fine.”  Simon said, the one extrovert in the group showing off without even trying.

“I can’t, cause I’ll fucking die.”  Alex stated.

Spire-Cast-Behind twisted to look up at her.  “I know this is not true, because I have done tests, but I agree.  I will tolerate twenty minutes of festivities exactly, and then I will hide.”

”You’re allowed to leave and come back!”  Sarah said.  “We’ll have isolated spaces set up for some of the ratroaches who wanted to participate but need an escape route, and you’re welcome to use those too.  It’s okay to take quiet time.  And this whole space is going to be part of the celebration, so you’ll be near your apartments if you need a break.”  She gestured to the multi story front of balconies set into the back wall in a visual folding that was surprisingly easy to get used to.

That knowledge relaxed the trio, even Simon.  Being able to be around in stages was a lot more manageable than being asked to spend a full eight hour shift in the thick of a crowd.  Even the kind of chill crowd the Order would probably end up being.

James pushed off the rock, dusting off the feeling from his hands as he took a deep breath.  “Hey.”  He said with the kind of voice you used when you only half believed yourself.  “This’ll be fun.  And then we can get back to what we were already doing. What you were already doing.  Helping around the Order.  Among other places.”

”And now, I’m awayyyy!”  Sarah said, spinning again as she shifted her feet to start backpedaling.  “I’ve got minions to manage!  You’ll all do great, though!  I believe in you!”  She cheered them all on before nearly backing into someone walking past and stumbling away, laughing and making conversation with the man she’d nearly run into as she wrapped around the row of bamboo, still in sight through the incomplete wall of green.

Slithering out of the stone resting bowl, Spire-Cast-Behind gave a long hiss as she touched down on the ground.  “I am going to my nursing duties before we begin.”  She said.  “I will see you tonight.”

”You’’re working?  Today.”  Alex stated, staring at her fellow paladin.

”It is not as if the work goes away for convenience.”  Spire retorted.  “You could also accomplish something.”

Alex sighed and stood, making to follow the camraconda.  “Yeah, fuck it.  I’m gonna go help out in the kitchen.  See if I can get my home ec lesson up to the next tier and pick something other than Timing this time.”

”What were the other options?”  Spire-Cast-Behind asked casually as the two headed out in the same direction.

”Enthusiasm and Materialism.”

”Interesting.  Perhaps do not pick those.”

”Yeah I was sorta leaning that way.”  Alex threw her arms back behind her head as she and Spire left.

James shook his head as he watched them take off through the garden courtyard.  “Welp.  I’ll see you tonight.  Make sure you’re at least a half hour early, right?”  He told Simon.

”Yeah, hey, one thing.”  Simon said before James could leave.  “Can I ask you something?”

”Of course.”  James stalled his departure, swiveling to land his foot back where he’d started.  “What’s up?  Actually having second thoughts?”

Simon snorted.  “No, not really.  It’s about the Sewer thing.  The little… I mean, it’s a symbiotic… thing.”  He pulled back the long sleeve of his shirt, revealing a dry organic eye sunken into his skin.  It would have been hard to tell it was a different creature entirely, if you didn’t know that humans weren’t supposed to have red unblinking eyes in their arms.

”Wow, that’s a little unsettling.”  James said without thinking.  “Is it… stabbing you?”

”Kinda.  It doesn’t really hurt if I don’t think about it, and Deb gave me an anti-infection plan to follow.  Took me a little while to work up to trying.”

James wasn’t sure if it was rude to ask, but he did kind of need to know.  “Are you an idiot?”  He said.  “No, wait, sorry, that’s…”

Simon laughed.  “I mean, I did this.”  He rolled his shirt sleeve back down, covering his new addition.  “Look, we need to know one way or another, right?  And I’ve got that purple for regenerating missing flesh.  So worst case, I get anest… annast… knocked out, and have it cut out.”  He shrugged.  “But I think it’s fine so far.  Like, it’s not eating me, except a little blood.  It’s definitely not ‘a person’ though.  Not yet.”

”Think it might be?”

”I don’t know how.  It doesn’t have a brain, it’s literally just the eye, a couple glands, and the barbs.”  Simon shrugged.  “But Rufus is a stapler and he’s getting a degree in education so what do I know?  Anyway, point is, it does do something.”  He set his mouth in a line, and took a breath while James waited patiently for him to explain.  “It makes me stronger the angrier I get.”  He said.  “Not in every way.  But it definitely lets me hit harder.  Bite harder, too; I took a chunk out of my cheek on accident.  Deb says it’s partly chemical but she doesn’t know what it is.”

James frowned in thought.  “That’s… hm.”  He didn’t know what to say, and worried he was about to start rambling.  “I dunno what help I can be here.  If you want it removed… well, you’re right.  We can do that.  And we should probably do it early.  If it’s a Sewer reward… we know they can grow over time; it already does that with the lessons, right?”

”I had that thought.”  Simon said.  “I don’t think it makes me angrier though. It just feeds off it.  And it could be useful.”

”So what did you want to ask me?  If I had a clean yes no for you?”

”Pretty much.”

James shook his head.  “Simon, you’re the least angry person in the Order.”  He said.  “If there’s some kind of hidden trap in there, you’re the least likely to trigger it.  You are perpetually chill.”

”Me? Not… oh, hell, Harvey or Karen or something?”

”Have you talked to Harvey?”  James barked a laugh.  “We’ll need to figure out policy on those things later.  I’ll bug you about it on a less busy day.  For now, I mean… it’s your body, share it how you want.  But keep an eye on…” He trailed off as Simon gave him a flat look.  “…okay yeah, I just got it, sorry.  Pay attention to your emotions.  Tell your social group too.  If anyone notices, knife time.”

”I’m good with that.”  Simon said.

”Good.  Now.  I’m gonna go make sure the totem team doesn’t blow up our secret headquarters, and then… oh, a lot of stuff you don’t need to know about.  You good?”

Simon nodded, resting his elbows on his knees.  “I’m good.  I’m gonna go stare at a spellbook for six hours and hope it makes me stop freaking out.”

”Good call.”  James nodded.  “It won’t work, but it’s good to try things.  I’ll see you tonight.”

He headed to handle a million tiny pieces of setup, and hoped he wasn’t lying when he said that things were going to go great.

_____

“Check one!”  A young man’s voice rang out through the warehouse space from overhead.

James was on the ground, which put him in the minority among the people working to get things ready.  He’d been one of many hands making sure the whole place was clear of furniture; a hundred desks and tables and whiteboards and filing cabinets and computers moved into storage or out to the back parking lot for the night.  He worked with a quiet smile, and while everyone around him thought he was just in a good mood over the upcoming gathering, in reality he was just having a constant sense of amusement that most of these desks had been stolen from Officium Mundi.

But now, the whole place was empty.  Not exactly a box; there were still sealed cords running down the walls, ventilation ducts and insulation overhead, the skeleton of a structure peeking out of the ceiling.  But it was a lot emptier, and it echoed when people took steps.

And up in that ceiling, a group of engineers were putting orange orb totems into place.

James was resting on the floor, drinking a can of something caffeinated that Daniel had handed him and wishing that it were less… whatever flavor it was.  Something else.

”I don’t hate it!”  Zhu said as he listened in on James’ thoughts.  Or maybe just read his expression as James glowered at the can in his hand before continuing to sip from it.  “It’s interesting.  Enjoy novelty a little more.  You’re supposed to be the one that likes weird things.”

”I like weird things that I can flirt with.”  James grumbled good naturedly.

“Is that why we’re friends?  Has it been one long seduction?”  Zhu’s feathers rippled along James’ arm and shoulder, his eye twisting around so that its point looked up at James’ chin.  “I don’t think I want to be your boyfriend.  I know we joke, but it doesn’t feel right to me.  Maybe I’ll change, but I don’t want you to wait on it.”

James tugged one of his legs into place as he sat on the concrete.  “Honestly, I’m okay with that.”

Zhu flicked a long talon across James’ shoe.  ”I know, I’m inside your head.”  He said.  “But I still worry.”

”I get ya.  But nah, it’s fine, I didn’t even really think we were flirting at all anyway.  Alanna I think just has fun shipping me.  It’s cute, but I’ll tell her to back off on this later.”  James sighed.  “You doing okay?”

”I’m not broken, please stop asking.”

”I’m asking because I felt literally the same way for less time than you and I was prepared to lay down and die by the end of it.”  James said softly.  “And even if we’re not kissing, I still love you and want you to be okay.”

”Then stop asking.” Zhu said, voice like tires on gravel.  “Are we in the way?”  He asked suddenly as Chevoy and Texture-Of-Barkdust passed around them, the two raising up a cord they were hauling so as not to get it caught on the living obstacle in the middle of the floor.  “I feel in the way.”  The navigator changed it from a question to a statement as the cord almost whacked into the part of James he was manifested on.

From just behind him, Chevoy yelled out to someone standing on a tall ladder and hidden among the ceiling.  “Check one!  Looks good!”

”Same!”  Came another shout from the other side of the warehouse.

”Position is correct.”  Davis said from near the rolling shutters in the back that were currently open to let warm afternoon sunlight splash in.  He didn’t shout as loud as the others, just sort of made a statement and let Planner pass it on as he stood with a series of laser guided survey tools planted on a tripod, watching the overhead activity like an aged hawk.  “Start on the next one.”

James scooted back a bit, but didn’t move to get up.  “I think we’re fine.“ He said, an instant before Chevoy hit him in the head with the cable on accident.

One apology later, James decided to get back up and get back to work.  Or rather, to get back to the important task of waiting for there to be more work.  As “check two” started getting thrown around, he walked the edge of the warehouse, watching the engineers work as they used copied dungeontech items to fix totems in place hanging in the air overhead.  Taking a short break before he helped set up the stage and seating once the space was expanded.

”We really need a dedicated space for this.”  James sighed.

”We could hunt one down?”  Zhu offered.  “It could be a thing.  The thrill of the chase, the stalking of prey.  And eventually, the strike, and acquisition of a new structure.”

James pressed his eyes closed and then held his arm up to try to meet Zhu and his satisfied air in the eye.  “Is this a house hunting pun?”  He asked.

”Yes.  Was it too subtle?  Or not enough?”

James dropped his arm again.  ”No no, I love it.  But we’ll need some kind of heavy ordinance if we want to take down a whole theater.”

”It’s catch and release, we use tranquilizers.”  Zhu informed him.  “For… structures.  Tranquilizers like… like… this is harder to keep up than I expected.  What would you stun a building with?  Help me with the joke.”

”Concrete?  Zoning laws?”

Zhu shook himself, feathers a unique kind of irritant against James’ sweaty skin.  ”Mmh.  We are both bad at this pun.  Let’s move on.”

They kept out of the way as they watched work progress.  The team in charge of enlarging the space for later tonight was being meticulous, and not just because Reed was standing nearby and loudly reminding everyone that the last time they’d fucked up a totem they’d sent him to the hospital.  Though that probably helped.

Every position was checked multiple times.  Every totem was secured in place and locked down with at least two different effects that had been tested beforehand to make sure they weren’t going to explode on activation.  And everyone was evacuated behind the safety line when they finally announced that it was time to turn the things on.

“This part is so cool.”  Zhu said.  “You can’t see it all the way, but there’s an artificial horizon around the totem when they put the orbs in.  Watch.”

”You just said that I-“

”No I mean face that way so I can watch.”  Zhu corrected.

James laughed and rolled his eyes, but did so anyway as Nik slid the first orange orb into place and the room changed.

The warehouse was larger now.  The floor stretched for an extra few hundred feet.  If anyone had looked closely, they could have seen the poured concrete repeating the exact same whorls and lines, over and over.

An expanded space was kind of easy for the Order to pull off now.  This was simple.  This was just a rectangular room that had a larger floor profile.  What came next was the impressive part.

A second orb was placed into a totem, and the lines of sight shifted around them.  The big empty echoing room no longer felt like a rectangle, but a wide arc with a central focus point.  It wasn’t clear now, but later on, when the place was full of decorations and chairs and people in those chairs, it would be more obvious that the focus point was easier to see from no matter where you were.

A third totem activated, and aisles of easily accessible walking paths opened up radiating through the room.  Getting in or out of a seat would require only a couple of steps.  Or slithers.  Or wheelchair… rotations?  Rolls?   James should look up the term. The point was that Research had actually taken the time to make their professional spatial distortion wheelchair accessible, and that had been the part that took the most time in this action.  Reed has complained that making the totems not react badly to wheels had nearly killed him all over again, but James was pretty sure that was a lie.

Okay James hoped that was a lie.

A fourth totem, and the room shifted again.  Something had changed, and it wasn’t immediately clear what, aside from everything brightening slightly.  This one was for ventilation; making sure that packing hundreds of people into a room didn’t end up being a stifling nightmare of an experience.

And that was it.  People climbed down off of ladders, and began moving through the twisted spaces.  Everyone who’d stayed on the edges did too, using long wooden poles to sweep the whole of the expanded meeting space, testing for any wrinkles or twists in space that would be problems.  Because a single bad interaction or uncontained edge could be a lethal danger.

James and Zhu helped, but after going over the whole room for the fifth time, the safety check was deemed complete, and the place ready for use.

”Now.”  James said, rubbing his hands together as he thought about all the things that still needed to be dragged in here.  “For the fun part.”

That was a lie.  The fun part would come later.  This was just simple labor, and a little banter with Zhu.  And yet, it felt important.  He was relaxed by it.  Put at ease, at least for a little while, until it really sunk in later just what he was building a stage for.

All too soon, the fun part was done.

____

It had all come together so fast.

James was standing backstage, still reeling at how quickly the process of raising a scaffolding and affixing a duel curtain had created a backstage.  He and Zhu had spent hours unpacking and assembling, working with others to bring together pieces of the structure.  Working with Sarah and her assistants to set up the sound system.  Working with the volunteers who were serving as ushers and aides to make sure they were all on the same page about the proceedings.  Working with everyone to just make the whole night seem seamless and smooth to everyone who would be attending.

And now here he was.  Shifting back and forth as he peeked out of the curtain and saw more and more people filtering into the room, taking chairs and benches and beanbags as they chatted and filled the room with the sound of a growing crowd.

There were… more people than James had really processed.

When they’d started calling themselves the Order of Endless Rooms, it had been… almost a joke.  James was just trying to come up with something that could sound kinda neat, as a way to let a bunch of survivors feel a sense of safety that they needed.  But they hadn’t stopped.  They’d actually listened to him, and grown along with him, and there’d been a lot of hiring and recruiting and rescuing in the meantime.  And now… now James was looking at a room where people were filling up the seats a little more completely than he’d expected.

He tried to stay still as Melody, Sarah’s newest assistant and also someone he didn’t really know, affixed a microphone to his suit jacket.  James had gone for a half-professional look today; a sharp cut black jacket over a much less formal pride teeshirt.  It was a little bit like the atmosphere in general, actually.  The metal and concrete of the walls were softened by ribbons and banners of simple colored cloth, mixed with an anarchistic seating layout where benches and padded chairs and beanbags deep enough to be camraconda nests all came together.

He also tried to stop looking at the crowd, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from the small gap in the curtain.

It was everyone.

Close friends and people James hadn’t seen for a while.  People he’d helped, and some he’d hurt.  New hires and the original members alike.

A couple of Anesh were helping to seat people along with help from Marcey.  Cathy, Karen, Texture-Of-Barkdust, and Smoke were also assisting, guiding people who needed more help to their seats.  It wasn’t just them either; a couple dozen volunteers from Recovery, or just around the Order, helped keep things organized and moving along.

In the back, he saw JP slip onto a bench next to Bea, the inhabitor not even giving his friend the slightest indication that she cared about his presence.  Up front, Daniel called out Pathfinder, the two of them apologizing to the startled human man they were sitting next to for the abrupt orange beacon.  Another Anesh crossed the back of the room at a hurried pace, moving to check a speaker hookup as he helped out.

The crowd was made of familiar faces.  Mars and Chevoy were busy arguing about the ethics of building a space elevator with some of the new hires, though it might be more accurate to say they were arguing with each other and some bystanders had been caught up in it.  Deb and Frequency-Of-Sunlight grabbed a beanbag on the right side, the two sharing a quick interspecies kiss that drew confused glances from the new people and familiar smiles from the veterans.  At the very front, Ava sat with her mom, Jeanne still keeping a very close eye on her daughter. Daughters, really; the tiny form of Hidden flickering in the back of Ava’s hoodie, just as grounded as her big sister.

There were a few absences.  The shellaxies weren’t there, which was sad.  But a lot more of the ratroaches were than James had expected to want to come.  There were areas on the wings of the seating space that had been isolated and given rings of no-mans-land around them.  Safe spots, where the more skittish ratroaches - and camracondas and humans too, who needed it - could sit without feeling crowded or trapped.  James saw Ishah and Eeke and a couple others helping their people, reassuring the newer ones that they could leave whenever they needed to, that no one here was mad at them.  Some of the ratroaches had been here long enough to have gone through shaper substance surgery, and those ones were less nervous, though many still chose to sit with and comfort their friends.  Friends that included Banana, of all people, given leave by Deb to spend the day out on the condition she not exert herself and ask to leave if she needed.

Nate was also absent.  James wasn’t sure where the man was, but Nate had just said he probably wouldn’t make it, and to have fun without him.  He’d be back to cook later though.   And his absence didn’t stop most of the rogues from showing up.  Ben was there, spreading a wave of confusion as he explained to people that he wasn’t their friend.  Myles and Yin had shown up from Townton, along with another dozen humans James hadn’t met.  Knife-In-Fangs, whose status as a rogue was questionable, was also hanging out with their group, and seemed to be having a great time.

Also from Townton, the remaining ex-Horizonists.  They didn’t all sit together, but James saw all four of them through the audience.  All of them with the orange feather glow of living navigators spread around their shoulders and arms.  Kirk himself was feeding his navigator friend peanuts as the two watched the stage in anticipation.  The two surviving Alchemists were also in attendance, sitting next to each other for reasons that James could only assume were masochistic, both of them looking like they were one spark away from murdering each other, but determined to be civil adults regardless.  Nile had his arms crossed like he was throwing a tantrum, while Red just refused to make eye contact.

Keeka and Arrush had taken a seat in the midst of the crowd, Keeka pushing and pulling his larger boyfriend to sit him down on a bench next to the familiar faces of Morgan, Liz, and Color-Of-Dawn.  The youngest actual members of the Order looking up at the two from their shared beanbag with a complete lack of concern about the nature of the people sitting next to them.  Elizebeth and Keeka were soon talking about something excitedly as the crowd shifted and settled around them.

People he remembered saving.  A few of the men from that coal plant who’d stuck around and a handful of the Status Quo survivors.  Ruby and Prince, pretending to be humans but having picked the same humans they’d originally used just to avoid confusion, sat with the young teenagers they’d sworn to protect, looking on guard while their charges just looked like they were about to explode with excitement at the collective mass of weird stuff going on.

Some of that weird stuff was close to the stage.  Rufus, Ganesh, and Fredrick Umbra Armillary were all dressed up and acting as escorts for Magneto; the big magnetic distortion shaped like a dog who Simon had insisted not miss his moment on stage.  As for what a strider and drone looked like while dressed up, they both had knitted little coverings for their frames.  While Fredrick had decorated his smock in a riot of bright neon colors, wearing it proudly even if he was using it to hide his extra legs.

They weren’t the only created life either.  A couple of the paper drakes were in the very back with their handlers, though they likely weren’t old enough to have really started to develop intelligence.  Similarly, the flickers of green from the authorities that were bonded to the various members of Response and the medical department subtly showed off who had been gifted with those infomorphs.  Authorities being about as smart as a particularly clever roomba, James didn’t really count them as part of the ‘crowd’, but their bearers certainly were here too.  Also showing off a splash of green, a couple of healthy growing potted plants, one from the Office, one born right here, sat by the main doors and happily harassed incoming guests.

Not to mention people who were… not outsiders, but not familiar faces around the Order.  Hilbert and Justine, people James had put in charge of distributing cures for cancer as fairly as possible and then cut loose with a budget and a mandate, were attending and treating this as a formal gala along with the rest of their expanded staff.  James smiled lightly as he saw a middle aged Asian man standing at Hilbert’s side and staring at everything with wide eyes as their group was guided to free seats by Scent-Of-Rain.  They weren’t the only ones either; a good portion of the people James had asked to be the ethics oversight committee for Response were here too, looking equally out of place.  Except for one woman who was eagerly and loudly trying to figure out how to get a job here, and also possibly trying to flirt with every ratroach who met her eyes.

Most of the inhabitors sat in their own pod, staring silently forward, their faces the usual blank masks.  But every now and then, one of them would turn and watch something else, or they would speak to each other in low voices, or they’d show flickers of interest in the people around them.  It was harder to tell with Rho, him being a dog, but it did seem like they were slowly becoming comfortable with more expression, even if it was never required of them.  Camille sat among them, blending in as she laser focused on the stage, out of armor but still unblinking.

One of the inhabitors even shared a polite conversation with Bill as the man walked by with his kids in tow.  Bill had been busy for a while, since he’d become the main liaison between the Order and the local electric company, but he and his buddy Mark still had a lot of projects going on, and the inhabitors seemed to like working for them.  Something about how blunt both different forms of contractor were.  Bill’s kids - though at least one of them was in her twenties - didn’t want to hear a single fucking thing about material storage or ventilation hookups for new apartments.  They wanted to know what the fuck their dad had been doing for the last year if he worked here, and James got the impression from the snippets he could overhear that Bill had just told them he worked with aliens or something and they hadn’t believed him.

There were people James only knew in his role as a professional paladin.  Alice, Charlie, and… he was pretty sure the camraconda they’d adopted was named Dance, but that might be an abbreviation.  One of the teams that scouted for new dungeons, sat in a group with Vad and Thermoclese, all of them talking dungeon theory with the exception of Dance who wanted to talk about video games.  James empathized with her; he would like to talk to someone about video games right about now. It would be soothing.

There were people James only knew because it was really personal.  Like Alanna’s sisters, Erin and Rae sitting like they weren’t sure if they were even allowed to be here, or like maybe they weren’t quite convinced Alanna hadn’t just spent a few billion dollars on the most elaborate practical joke ever conceived.

Davis and John from Research hung out with Marcus and Harvey from Response, the men waiting at the back while Planner hung over them and kept an eye on everything.  Actually, Planner might be the older escort for Vera, a new assignment infomorph that was growing out of the sartorial restrictions dumped on JP a couple weeks ago.  James wasn’t sure who Vera lived in, but it was impressive how quickly assignments could grow into people when given a bit of support and a diet of purple orbs.  There were a couple other infomorphs around, actually, and when he looked for the too-large-to-be-that-small manifested forms, it didn’t take him long to spot Mercy, or Moon, or Speaker, or a handful of others.

And so many other people.  Too many to list the names of, too many for James to know.  A hundred members of Response, another fifty from Recovery.  Delvers and engineers, dreamers and makers, survivors and saviors.  There were thirty faces James had just helped to hire this last week, and he didn’t recognize half of them.  A batch of interns - James refused to call them squires - that he never really spent time with, both survivors of the Akashic Sewer and just normal high schoolers who wanted to be here, or at least wanted to try it out.  There were camracondas he’d never met, ratroaches sitting alongside humans who seemed entirely at ease with them, even human children who were from families that had been given safe shelter here, and were now growing up in the Lair.

Someone had even brought the vending machine.  Just in case.

There was a lingering feeling, too, that James couldn’t shake.  That there were other people who should have been here.  That the names written in their graveyard were missing, and that some of them at least would have loved to have seen what the Order had made of itself.

“I am.”  James said slowly.  “Utterly fucking terrified.”

”Uh…” Melody looked up from the settings on his mic pack.  “I don’t…”

”Please tell me the mic isn’t on.”  James said, staring at the curtain with a stone faced expression.  She shook her head at him but didn’t seem like she had any words of advice to offer.

Sarah came to her rescue, Alanna and Anesh trailing behind her.  “You ready?”  She asked.  “Because if I were you, I’d be terrified!”

”Thaaaaaaanks.”  James drew the word out with no small measure of sarcasm.

Anesh winced.  “I’m sure… it’ll be fine.”  He said.  He was periodically checking in with his duplicates, and this iteration of him kind of wished he was one of the ones with something to do to distract himself.

Alanna, though, met James eyes.  She stepped up to him, like nothing else in the world existed, and cupped his cheek in one of her scarred hands.  “You’re going to do great.”  She told him flatly.

”Oh yeah?”  James asked, smiling into the warmth of her touch.

”Yeah.”  She said.

James’ smile turned brittle.  “Can I tell you something?”  She nodded once, smoothly.  “I feel like this is maybe sorta dumb.  Like… I dunno, like it’s too made up.”

Alanna barked out a single note of laughter.  “Then you know what you do?”  She pointed at the back of the curtains, toward the crowd on the other side that even now was building to a louder constant hum of small conversations.  “You make them buy it.  You tell them what you believe, and you let them believe it too.  You give them a moment they won’t forget, and you tell them that moment belongs to those three back there,” she jerked a thumb at Simon, Alex, and Spire-Cast-Behind, all being fussed over by Sarah and Melody, “and you set them loose on the world.  And the whole Order will race to back them to the hilt.”

”Do you know what that phrase means?”  Anesh asked suddenly.  “I feel like it sounds like a sex thing.”

The whiplash between the two of them caught James so off guard that he laughed, before sagging down into his chair with a welcome release of tension.  “Thanks.”  He said to both of them.  “Seriously, thanks.  For everything.  For getting us this far.  Seems like a good time to tell you that I love you.”

”It’s always a good time.”  Anesh reassured him, leaning over to kiss James on the forehead.  “Also all traditions are made up.  Now, go be yourself.  We’re going to go grab seats.”  He pulled back, letting Alanna steal her own kiss.

Before the two of them vacated the backstage and left James with only a few helpers, and also the fools he’d roped into this, Alanna snapped her fingers like she’d just remembered something.  “Want me to hang onto Zhu for this one?  Just so he can watch.”

James smiled and nodded.  The navigator had been napping for the last couple hours, but with a twist of perspective and willpower, James coaxed him out into an orange feathery manifestation.  Zhu muttered something in a sleepy haze, which James still wasn’t sure on the veracity of, before flowing through the connection between James and Alanna’s hands to mantle upon her shoulders.  “Oh good.  Showtime.”  Zhu shivered on Alanna’s skin as he opened his eye to face James.  “I almost never get to watch you do this.  Don’t mess it up!”

”So reassuring.”  Alanna shook her head as she and Anesh vacated the backstage, getting out of the way and hoping to find any remaining free seats.  Alanna also took the opportunity to steal another kiss from Sarah on the way out, the smaller woman squeaking in aggregation as her girlfriend interrupted her fifteenth read through of stage directions.  “Relax!  You’ll all do fine!”  Alanna yelled as Anesh prodded her out of the way.

James took a deep breath and found that, even with the spatially warped ventilation tunnels that he’d helped set up, the air still felt solid in his lungs.

And then, behind him, he heard confiding whispers between the three people he’d picked out.  Enhanced hearing giving him the inside scoop with his eavesdropping.  Alex told the others that she didn’t know if she could do this.  Simon admitted that he still didn’t think he was the right person.  Spire-Cast-Behind felt like she was carrying her species’ future and didn’t deserve it.  They were all afraid, but their fears weren’t selfish.  They were afraid they weren’t ready, afraid of failing.

James straightened up and shifted the shoulders of his jacket into place, and looked to Sarah, who met his eyes and gave him a quick count to when they were going to start dimming the lights.  He breathed easier, because he had settled on a single goal.  Alanna might want him to sell the crowd on the idea, and he may have had another plot of his own in the works, but James was aiming smaller for the moment.  There were three people who he wanted to turn into full time heroes, and he was going to sell them on it.

People had stopped filtering in, and everyone was more or less settled now.  And after a check with their volunteer ushers, Sarah made a motion to catch his eye, and spoke quickly to one of the stagehands.  Counting down on her fingers until she hit zero, the simple but effective lighting setup rigged up a safe distance underneath the spatial totems began to dim.

The lights went down, and took the noise with them.  Conversations hushed, as the universal symbol that the show was starting kicked off.  There was still a pleasant natural light flowing in from behind the stage, but even the nonhumans who had never been to a stage play kind of knew what it meant when the overhead lights dimmed.

Sarah met James’ eyes again, and smiled at him, shooting him a thumbs up before counting down from three, then pointing him out.  She looked so professional with her clipboard as he walked by.  As he took those steps, she pulled out one of the Library figurines, and activated it, the magic crumbling the thing to dust as it shifted reality around them.

He strode through the curtains, out onto the open flat stage.  There was no podium or anything fancy; they’d decided against the enchanted stage terrain or the fiber optic cabling to go with the laser pointer that broadcast emotions.  If this went well, maybe they could do some showmanship later.  For now, it was just a raised platform with a few marks on the floor where people needed to stand, James included.

Head held up, he fixed a peaceful smile on his mouth as he walked out toward the audience.  Unlike most people, James actually liked public speaking; what he didn’t like was being unsure if he was wasting people’s time.  And now, with hundreds of eyes on him, he had to fight the gnawing sense that this was all a bit silly.

Because he could see that they didn’t think it was silly.  And that almost scared him more.

There was no more time for sighing or deep breaths; his mic was hot now and James didn’t get to stall anymore.

”Good evening.”  He opened with.  “Welcome to something important.”  James said.  And he was off. He could feel the truth and the performance and the workshopped words and the audience attention all blending together, and was forced to face the truth that he hadn’t lied, and this was important, and special, and happening now.  “Tonight we are here to celebrate the start of what I hope and plan to be a long tradition of service.  Service to each other, service to the people of this world, service to ourselves.”

He shifted, any hint of a slouch or slump gone as he stood at a relaxed stance and swept his eyes across the audience, smiling at all of them.  Even the ones he didn’t much like.  “The role of paladin within the Order of Endless Rooms is a new one, but the premise is simple.  There should be people who have the task of communication, connection, and compassion.  People who are empowered and supported, in the role of the hero.  People who we trust not to make decisions for us, or to rule us, but to empower and protect those around them.”  Behind him, James could feel through his enhanced senses as the three initiates were sent out, taking their places.  He began moving with slight steps, pacing back and forth, making sure none of them were blocked by his form all the time.

”Some of you know these three.  And that is because, without even understanding what we were codifying, they were already being the very thing we wanted to create.”  James saw some of the audience nodding and smiling along.  Up front, Simon’s magnetic mongausse gave a small shivering bark as he saw his companion on stage, the sound drawing laughs of agreement.  “Exactly, thank you Magneto.”  James said, the casual relief from the dramatic tension getting more of a laugh.  “Simon Poe, Spire-Cast-Behind, and Alex Wolly.  People who have been spending their time and effort, often risking their lives, to build a better future.  More than that, they have been people who could be relied on.  How many of you, out there, already know who they are, because behind the scenes they’ve been active helping with an uncountable number of things?”  James wasn’t exactly expecting it, but the number of hands or necks that were slowly raised surprised even him.

”They’ve seen it as their duty already, for some time now.”  James said with an acknowledging nod to the audience.  “And it’s time we let them know that it’s noticed.  It’s also time for them to address you themselves.”  He took a few steps back.

Simon stepped forward, looking like he was going to combust under the ring of white stage lights.  “It’s probably not a surprise that I didn’t have anywhere to go home to when the Order rescued me.”  He started.  “Before they were called that.  We were called that.  When it was James and Alanna and Dave, and the rest of us praying that they knew what they were doing.”  His mouth turned into a tiny smile, and while most people probably wouldn’t notice, it showed in his tone.  “They didn’t, really.  But that’s okay.  Because their strategy of saving people’s lives and then giving those people jobs has worked out pretty well.”  Simon held up a hand, palm facing his chest, and looked down at his own limb.  “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”  He admitted openly before closing his fingers into a loose fist and looking back up to stare at the faces watching him.  “But there are a lot of people out there who deserve someone like James showing up to save them.  And if I can be that… I wouldn’t want to be anything else.”

He stepped back, to a near silent room.  The lack of applause not because he hadn’t reached them, but because the simple words had everyone holding their breath, perched on the edge of a cliff.  As he returned to his spot, Spire-Cast-Behind passed him, the camraconda seeming to shine under the stage lights as she set her tail in a simple ring and raised her body up to address the audience.

”For as long as I have been here,” her digital voice rang with clarity, and the variant emotion that she had infused her speech with made her seem not human, but distinctly herself, “I have known this to be a place that was welcoming.  To victims, to innocents, to outsiders, regardless of status or species.”  The last word was said with a matching hiss, her tongue flicking over brass fangs and she dipped her camera eye down slightly.  “I worry that I will not represent my people well.”  Spire-Cast-Behind admitted openly.  “But I realize, my people are more than my fellow camracondas.  They are you.  All of you.  And I still worry.  But you have never failed to be there for us when we needed you.  And if I could give that to you in turn, I would.  Every time.”

Spire-Cast-Behind turned and receded, the audience seeming to have decided that a respectful and lingering silence was the right response for this part.  She passed Alex on the way up, the human woman’s legs shaking like jelly as she approached the mark, looking to James and pointing at the spot like he was confirming where she had to stand for her imminent execution.

Alex took a deep breath despite the mic picking it up.  “I’m kinda like Simon.”  She said, voice shaking.  “The Order saved my life.  And it really was the Order, even back then, before the name.”  She smiled, a little energy coming back to her as she found a momentum.  “But I could have left.  A lot of us could have left.  We don’t talk about it that often, but the number of times these idiots tried to set us up with nice lives and let us walk away is too high.”  She jerked her head to indicate James.  “But I couldn’t leave.  Not once I saw the magic.  And not just the magic, but all the ways it was being used to help people.  Like it was that easy, you know?  We don’t talk about how lucky we got, either.  About how many people would have used it to get rich and walked away.  But not them.  Not us.  Not me.”  Alex’s hands were clenched into fists at her sides, nails digging into soft flesh.  “I’m terrified that I’m not the right person for this.  But there’s nowhere I’d rather be terrified than right here.”

As she returned to her spot, James stepped back into the spotlight, trying to keep the wellspring of emotional tears from bursting out.  He’d expected them all to say something, but he hadn’t actually been prepared for that.

“We can give anyone power.”  He said softly, spelling out what was important to acknowledge to the hushed audience.  “So many different options, and we’ll only find more as we become the stewards for more and more dungeons and remnants.  And we will give people power.  More people than just a few special chosen ones.  Everyone who needs it, eventually everyone who wants it.  Power isn’t just the comic book superhero ability to punch your problems away.  Power is knowing how to build new things and fix broken ones.  Power is being safe from disease and injury and violence.  Power is having the tools to act.”

He swept his hand behind him.  “These three get a special kind of power, that isn’t the same as the magic or wealth or alliances that we’ve built up.  The power they get, is that their job now is the freedom to solve whatever problem crosses their path.  And they get it because they’ve already been doing it for months.”

James continued, all the joking and laughter out of his tone, replaced by an honest gravitas as he addressed the initiates directly.   “Partly this is a promotion.  Just a casual change of duties.  Your job now is three things.  Facilitating communication and cooperation inside the Order of Endless Rooms is one.  Being the face that the rest of the world will see is another.  And finally, your job is to make things better.  Not for yourself, not for us, but for the world.  For everyone you can.”

“And partly, this is something more.  The word paladin means a lot of things. Has changed over the years, from religious icon to character class. But here, now, here’s what it means to us.  You will find people who are hurting, and help them. You will find systems that cause harm, and fix them. You will encounter circumstances that should not be allowed, and you will stop them.  You will face trials that should destroy you, and walk through them with all the style you can muster.  You will wake up, every day, and face the shape of things without flinching. You will smile. And you will keep going.”

As James was speaking, three people moved out from behind the stage, each of them carrying a small wooden box, and approaching each of the paladin initiates.  Human, infomorph, and inhabitor, the three of them each moved in front of one of the trio and opened their case, offering a single small USB stick to each of them.  A strangely out of place mundane object.

“This is a gift.”  James said.  “And a curse.  From all of us.  This a small piece of each member of the Order.  Our hopes for the future, our love of those around us, our need for dignity and justice, our desire for something better, our wonder at the true magic of our world.”  He’d run the compact .mem file himself.  It wasn’t really a .mem anymore at all; they just hadn’t changed the extension name.  It was something else.  Something more.

”This won’t make you a good person.  It won’t change who you are, or force you into anything you don’t want.  Instead, it is something more potent.  This will help you understand.  To carry with you a piece of our hearts, wherever you go.”  James noted that Alex had already taken hers and slotted it into the port attached to her skulljack braid.  Simon was holding his, but looked like he was waiting for his cue, and Spire-Cast-Behind had bowed her head down to let Emm help her with hers.

“So if you truly believe you are ready, then step forward, and take your oath.  And bind yourself to the belief in a better future.”  James finished.  And then, with a flourish - and a mental prod to his skulljack to open an email - a small black leather notebook appeared in his hand.

It was such a minor thing.  A little bit of showmanship, and a simple blue enchanted item.  A book that recorded promises spoken near it.  But if this was to be the start of a tradition, then it needed trappings, in some way.  And this seemed fun.

Again, the three of them moved in the planned order, with Simon first.  He stepped up to match James in the spotlight.  Everyone was watching him, but his vision had narrowed until all he could see was James, watching him with a steady and reassuring nod.  Simon placed his hand on the back of the notebook.  “I swear to protect everyone I can.”  He said.

He dropped his hand, and James flipped the notebook open, turning it to show Simon the cleanly written sentence of text on the lined page.  He smiled at the new paladin, as the reality sunk in, that this was real now.

Spire-Cast-Behind didn’t place either of her mechanical limbs on the notebook.  Instead, she simply perched in front of James, looked him in the eyes, and stated her oath.  “I swear to build a place of kindness and safety.”  She said.  Once again, James opened the book, showed her the line, and saw the exact moment the camraconda realized that she would never be an outsider to the Order now.

And lastly, Alex.  She didn’t put her hand on the book either, which made Simon the odd one out, and James wondered if this was a calculated attempt at a joke, or just Alex being nervous.  Instead, she cupped one hand, and placed it gently over her heart before she spoke.  “I promise,” she said, nervousness still shining through, “to try my best.”

It was such a basic thing.  And yet, when James showed her her own words scribed into the book, he saw tears forming in her eyes, and he knew that this woman was going to spend the rest of her life trying to live up to her own oath.

As Alex returned to her standing spot, James snapped the notebook closed and dropped his hand to hold it at his side, turning back to the audience.  There was one thing that had been absent from this performance.  And it was the easiest thing in the world to give a command that could provide it.

“Celebrate our new paladins.”  James said plainly.

And a wall of sound swept across the stage.  Hollers, cheers, whistles, laughing and crying in equal measure, applause, hisses and digital musical chimes.

It wasn’t some military roar of determination or a sporting cry of victory.  Instead, it was lighter than that.  It was personal, and communal, and triumphant with nothing to triumph over, just the feeling of hope wrapped up in the sounds of an audience.  That triumph swirled around the three, the magic in the air sinking into them like invisible water into a living sponge. But that was only the literal magic, and not the important arcana.

Acceptance.  Not an apathetic allowance for the event to pass, but true acceptance.  James might have been the first person to call himself a paladin and define what the job was, but here, he saw the Order of Endless Rooms complete its transformation from survivors and companions, into a true community.  A community that saw their three new paladins and cheered for them, because these three were their new paladins.  Not just James falling into it, but knights who reached out to help whenever they could, and reached for the strength they needed to do good.

And the Order of Endless Rooms reached back to pull them forward.

James swept his eyes over the crowd even as he stepped back behind the three and forced them to take the spotlight and acknowledge the weight of the trust and love that was being placed in them.  He took the moment to look for one thing in particular, but didn’t see it.

But that was fine.  He had one last thing to say.

As he circled back around to stand in front of the three paladins, the chorus of adulation died down when he faced the crowd.  “These three don’t know it yet, but they’re going to be busy for the next month.”  James said.  “And you won’t be seeing too much of them.”  He grinned as he felt Simon shift slightly behind him, the man trying to hold his confusion in.  “The term is ‘knight-errant’, and if you let me, I’d be here all day talking about the historical and fictional background of it.  I have a TED talk prepared.”  Now was the time for a joke.

The assembled audience started looking for exits with the vibe of people who just realized that they were trapped in a room with someone who had a microphone and nowhere important to be.  James laughed lightly.  “I won’t subject you.”  He reassured them, and got laughs from the crowd in return as a few people caught onto his joke.  “But here is the long and short of it.  The world is large, and we are small, but that does not mean that we should hide away.  The Order of Endless Rooms is not isolationist; we live on this world, in this world, and we should cherish and support it.”  He stepped to the side so he could face the paladins without turning his back on the crowd.  “You will have a budget, a team, a kit, and a mandate.  Go.  Somewhere a little random, closer or farther makes no difference.  Travel.  Experience something new.  Step far outside your comfort zone.  Find something that needs you.”

James swept his hand across his body to highlight the trio as he turned to address the audience again.  “There is one thing we can’t train.  One thing we can’t practice for, one last step to become a true paladin.  We could do it here, I’m sure something would come up eventually.”  A few chuckles came his way, though the laughter was tight this time.  The things he’d been needed for had never been too pleasant.  “But there are people out there who need paladins too.  So…”

He took a deep breath, and wondered if this was even on the right track.  “Go out there.  And become the right people” James saw movement at the back of the crowd.  A fluttering coat and a figure with eyes that flickered through options, “at the right time.”

Maintaining eye contact with the Right Person At The Right Moment, James stepped up to the edge of the stage.  “But that’s not today.  Today, I’ve tricked several professional chefs into making us food.  Today, we’ve got nowhere to be, and a beautiful evening to enjoy.  Today, there’s a celebration to be had.  For Simon!”  James pointed at the man who straightened up even sharper than he was already.  The crowd, if they were at risk of losing that emotional energy before, weren’t now, and they cheered anew for him.  “Spire-Cast-Behind!”  James pointed, and the flavor of the cheers shifted as half the camracondas did their best to his and shirek their satisfaction.  “And Alex!”  Again, the volume swelled, as James stepped behind the three, leaning forward to whisper to them as he set his hand on each of their backs in turn, nudging them onward and off the stage into the audience.  “Be as proud of yourself as they are.”  He said.

And as people left their seats and circled around the overwhelmed and elated paladins, James met The Right Person At The Right Moment’s eyes, and made a quick jerk of his head toward the rear of the stage.  Got a nod in return.

Took a deep breath.  And went to meet a pillar.

_____

“I honestly did not expect that to work.”  James opened with.

”Neither did I.”  The Right Person At The Right Moment answered, flinching between being a young Japanese girl with tired eyes and an aged African man, also with tired eyes.  “Frankly, it shouldn’t have worked.  You’re not supposed to be able to summon pillars.”

”Oh thank fucking god, actual information.”  James sat in the backstage chair with a slump.  A few of the stagehands caught sight of the pillar with him, and eyes began to widen as they realized what was standing back here with them.  But James just gave them an easy gesture, and waved them off, sending them around to join the celebration and give him some space with their guest.  “What are the odds I get more than three straight answers out of you this conversation?”

”Low, and that’s counting this one.”  The pillar said.  “You can call me Nick by the way.  It’s easier, and I do think it’s funny.”

Nodding at the friendly reassurance, James almost missed that the pillar knew the private nickname that the Order had started using for it.  “We came up with that after the last time we talked.”  He said.  “When you had to meet me in a dream, for some reason.”

”Can’t go near… well, certain place.  You know how it is.”  Nick said, shrugging wide shoulders that suddenly weren’t that impressive.  “Too similar.  Too vulnerable to them.”

“I see you’re as addicted to cryptic statements as previously.”  James snorted.  “Okay.  Well, since you’re the only sane one of your people I’ve met so far, I feel like I can at least try.  Do-“

”Oh, no.  No no-no-no nooooo.”  Nick shifted between voices as it rattled off the denials.  “Sane?  You don’t understand. None of us are sane. Human minds aren’t supposed to do this. There’s a reason for the containment systems.”

“Dungeons.”  James snapped to the answer, and Nick snapped its fingers - long and slender with a wedding band on one of them - in acknowledgement.  “A lot of us think you’re delvers who got too powerful.  But you’re talking like you’re the same sort of thing as a dungeon.”

The person sitting across from James gave an easy shrug as they toyed with their glass sitting on the table between them.  James… didn’t remember when they’d sat down, or where the table had come from, or who had brought them drinks.   “Sure. Yes. No.  Actually not a bad term but not for why you think. Or maybe you are thinking it. You’re clever.  You brought me here and that’s never happened.  You’re learning and it might be in time.”

”At the risk of walking into a trap…”

”You are really good at that.  It might be why you’re my favorites, and why I’m here now.”  The Right Person At The Right Moment looked around the backstage, glancing up at the warehouse ceiling as they flicked some hair out of their face.  “I love what you’ve done with the place since I was last here, by the way.”

”…in time for what?”  James whispered.  It was so much easier to ask questions when he wasn’t dreaming, but even still, this conversation had started to feel like it was fraying at his focus.  Details were slipping away, and he couldn’t exactly concentrate.

”Good question.”  Nick said, stealing James’ drink and downing the beverage in one gulp.  James didn’t mind, since he wasn’t going to drink anything that randomly showed up now anyway.  “Also good idea.”  Nick fixed him with a stare.  “You don’t have long.  A year, maybe two.  It’s coming apart.”

”It being… what?”

”I could be dramatic and say everything.”  The pillar swept a shifting fluid arm out, voice booming with theatricality.  “But that’s a lie.  It, in this case, is civilization.  The viability of complex life on this world in general, I guess.  Well, I don’t guess.  I predict through a series of prognotechnic instruments that never shut up and that are very very hard to listen to sometimes.  The containment isn’t working like it should.  So.  Regardless, you’ll need to be ready.”

”Ready for the end of the world.”  James stared at his summoned guest.  This wasn’t the answer he’d wanted.

Nick laughed, fifteen voices flowing into each other and overlapping in a maddening sound of almost panicked delight.  ”Don’t be so dramatic, the world will still be here.”  They said.

”Is this something to do with the other pillars?”  James asked directly.  “Or you even.  The name feels a little on the nose.”

”Caught that, did you?  Yeah, the pillars of heaven, or whatever it was.  Holding up the world.  Something like that.  Oh, I know you hate the status quo oh so much, little star.  But have you ever considered that there’s two different forms of the thing?”  James wasn’t sure how he felt about being called that, but he was really sure that the Right Person At The Right Moment was starting to become more frantic in its speech.  “I am.  Sorry.  Gotta be quick.  Some of us, we don’t want anything to change.  No advancing, because every advancement is a chance for extinction, and that’s unacceptable.  Right now sucks - your words not mine - but it’s at least… close to stable.  Not really.  But we lie to ourselves.  Some of us though, we’re not interested in stopping progress.  Instead, we want to stop the slide.  The backpedaling.  The status quo should be the line in the sand past which humanity doesn’t descend again.  No more dark ages, no more holocausts, no more…” Nick’s myriad voices broke off, and the thing looked away from James with eyes that glittered inhumanly.  “I’ve got to go.”  They said.  “Soon.  I’m stretching too thin here.”

”Okay.”  James stood up and offered a hand, and the pillar took it.  They were already standing, their chair and table gone off to somewhere else.  “I’ll be direct.  I can’t trust you, and I don’t know how to help you.  But I’m not going to let the world end.”

”You’ll need more.”  Nick told him.  “That might be it.  This might be the pivot.  You’re going to need more.”

”More what?”  James’ voice shook as he realized the pillar was crushing his hand in a frantic clawed grip, bones creaking and starting to snap as the Right Person At The Right Moment continued to lose control of itself.  “Nick.  More what?”

The grip eased suddenly, and the pillar smiled gently at James.  “More of the manufactured stars, maybe.  More of them.  More paladins.  Could be wrong.  I’ve never been wrong, but it’s getting harder to see.  Things are going dark.”  They stepped backward, moving through the curtain.  “I don’t think you can do it.  I think we’re kinda fucked.  But you’re going to try anyway.  And that’s why you're my favorite.”

The pillar pushed past the first layer of cloth, and James blinked, jolting into motion to follow them out to where the audience of hundreds was still cheering for the three newly initiated paladins.  But as he pushed the curtain aside, Nick was already gone.  The pillar having vanished in the brief window it was out of sight.

James clenched his hand, feeling his fingers scream in pain, grimacing as he resolved to go get some ice before the kitchen got overwhelmed.  “Oh, you’re wrong about that.”  He said to himself.  “I’m not going to try.”

He was tired of trying.  Tired of struggling and fighting, only to be a day late and a crisis behind.  No, James wasn’t going to try to save the world from whatever containment failure the Right Person At The Right Moment had alluded to.  Not by himself.  But even with the Order of Endless Rooms, he didn’t want to call it trying.

“No stupid end of the world is going to stop us.” He swore.  “We’re going to win.  As many times as it takes.”

The notebook he was still holding recorded his own oath, underlining the other three with the scritch of an unreal pencil on enchanted paper.

_____

END BOOK FOUR