The Scrap Bin (Patreon)
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The script for EA has been complete for some time now, and all of the scenes are hashed out with basic descriptions of the actions, the dialogue, and the "tone" I'm looking to convey. It's much more than an outline, but less than a full panel-by-panel script. But on occasion, what seems to work great in the written stage for some reason doesn't jive with me when I see it drawn out. This interaction between Stryder and Adrian was one of them.
Page 176 is their first kiss, page 177 is a bit of Adrian teasing Stryder for his machismo, and then there's this. I liked it originally because of the parallel between the "touch me" dynamic here and the one in Ethan's menage-a-tease dream, but realized 1) it wasn't serving the overall purpose of the scene and 2) it's way too soon for Stryder to take such bold initiative when in the previous page he's still flustered. It comes across as sexy just for the sake of sexy, which felt hollow and unrealistic. To the cutting room floor it goes!