Monthly Drawing 25: No Laughing Matter (Patreon)

“Crappity crap crap CRAP!” Reggie swore under his breath as he watched the oil pressure in BOTH of his engines wind down.

Those who knew Reggie knew that, for a calm and collected man, this was raging profanity. He was angry. The mechanic at the N’Gumba FBO had assured him that he’d taken care of the oil pressure issue in the number one engine and now both of them were dying. 

He scanned the terrain below and ahead, looking for a landing spot. To be sure, this area of northern Tanzania had more than enough open space for a landing but, there were always ground hazards. 

“Mayday. Mayday. Mayday” He intoned calmly into his headset as he feathered first the left and then the right engines, “This is NCC7322, NCC7322. Losing both engines. Making an emergency landing at…” he paused to check his GPS and then gave the Latitude and Longitude twice, “NCC7322, standing by.”

There was no reply. That was not entirely unexpected but worrying nonetheless. He was pretty far out but, on a standard bush pilot route. Someone should have heard it and at least passed it on to the authorities. 

He had more than enough airspeed for a full-flap landing and began his descent; as though I have a choice, he thought.

Keeping a close eye on the terrain ahead, watchful for any termite mounds, he set the Cessna 340 down as gently as though he were at an international airport runway. As he began braking something caught his eye to the right; a house. A large, rambling Victorian farmstead straight out of  “Out of Africa”. He’d flown this route a dozen times and had never seen it. Strange…

He had set the parking brake and had the door open as he finished his shut-down checklist when a voice outside made him jump.

“I say! Wonderful landing!” Came the cultured voice, “I could tell you were dead-sticking it. Engine trouble?”

As his heart-rate wound down, Reggie looked over to see an old, bearded white man in classic ‘safari’ garb waddling towards him. Damn, thought Reggie, he looks like that guy from Jurassic Park!

Reggie jumped down to meet him and walked up with his hand offered.

“Engine trouble isn’t the word for for it by far,” he smiled, hoping to put the old man at ease, “Reginald Jeffries. Sorry to trouble you.”

“No trouble at all, young man! No trouble at all!” The old man shook his hand vigorously, “Actually happy you… ah… stopped by. Can get rather tedious out here with my research and all.”

Reggie looked at his hand until the old man stopped shaking it.

“Oh! Sorry! ” the old man nearly blushed, “I’m Dr. Cyril Bassington-Bassington. A pleasure to meet you. But, where are my manners? Let’s get out of the sun and get you a gin and tonic before we try to solve your problem”

“Both of those things sound great, doctor,” Reggie laughed, “Lead on!”

_________

Reggie and the doctor sat on wicker chairs on the veranda and chatted while the doctor’s daughter, Mille, mixed up the gin and tonics. Reggie watched her as slyly as he could. She was a big, blonde girl. Not overly tall and not overly fat but, big all over as though she were built to a different scale. Curves in all the right places and very pretty but, large. She’d been smiling at Reggie since they were introduced. Or, at least, Reggie thought, I’m flattering myself that she’s smiling at me. 

“Here you go!” Millie chirped as she set the drinks down. She looked at Reggie with a sparkle in her eye, “Enjoy!”.

She definitely smiled at me that time, Reggie laughed to himself. More obvious than he wanted, he watched Millie walk into the house.

“Fine girl, isn’t she? Fine girl.” The doctor said as he lifted his condensation-covered glass, “Drink up, my boy! Nothing like a gee-and-tee on day like today.”

Reggie took a sip. It was a VERY good gin and tonic.

“So, doctor, how long have you been here? It’s pretty remote.”

“About a year, now. About a year,” The doctor sipped his own drink, “Bloody annoying to get supplies out here but, it’s so nice not to be interrupted when one is researching.”

“Oh, so you’re not a medical doctor?”

“Oh, no, my boy, oh, no.” The doctor laughed, “Not that my research doesn’t have medical applications, it’s just that I have… let’s say… other ideas in mind.”

“I’d really like to hear about it.” Reggie smiled broadly, “Perhaps after you let me borrow your radio?”

“Of course, Reggie! Of course!” the doctor didn’t seem to take the hint as he continued, “I’m looking into a number of integrated fields. Biology. Genetics. Robotics. Trying something brand new and.. say, my boy, how would you like to be part of it!”

“Hmmm?” Reggie didn’t quite choke on his drink. This old guy was friendly but, Reggie had better places to be than drinking a cocktail in the shade, “Look, doctor, I’m appreciative of the drink…”

“Think nothing of it, my boy! Think nothing of it!” the old man practically bubbled,”You could definitely be an asset to the program.” he added looking over Reggie’s shoulder, “Don’t you think, Millie?”

“Oh, yes! He’d be perfect!” Reggie started at the voice behind him. Damn, that girl moves like a ninja!

“Look, guys, can I borrow that radio, I really-“ Reggie began but, the doctor and Mille didn’t seem to hear him.

“What were you thinking, my dear?” the doctor spoke to Millie over Reggie’s shoulder, “What did you want to start with?”

“I thought hyena. I’ve always liked hyena,” Mille said, “Quite attractive in their own way and she should respond well to training.”

This conversation was getting weird. Reggie kept looking back and forth between them, unsure of where this was going. 

“She?” The doctor asked

“Why not, father?” Millie smiled, “I thought we could kill two birds with one stone this time.”

“Splendid idea, my girl! Splendid” Reggie watched the doctor in rapt disbelief, “In your own time.”

“Wha-“ Reggie began and then yelped as there was a cold, burning sensation on the back of his neck.

“WHAT THE HELL?” He yelled as he jumped up and grabbed at his neck. There was something there. Something met poking into his skin. He tried to pull it out but, it was stuck fast. He turned to face the pair as they regarded him. The doctor’s face was aglow with anticipation and Millie had the trace of an expectant smile on her pretty face.

“I don’t know what you two are on about,” Reggie began, “But… but…”

Reggie found that he didn’t want to move. He wasn’t paralyzed but, he felt being still was the right thing to do. A warmth began to spread through him and he got warmer and warmer.

“Gotta get… Got-“ he stammered as he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, “Warm…” 

He shucked his shirt to the ground and looked up. Up? at the old man and the young girl. Then, he noticed the fur that his chest hairs had turned into…