Knight of the Jackelope Part 4 (Patreon)

Like all the chapters of this story, I make no guarantees any of it ever enters the main story.
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(You know damn well I'm going to use some of it. )

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Three brave heroes made their way into the haunted city of Gadobhra, it's broken towers casting long shadows as day fled away and night took over. A string of bright lights appeared, beckoning travelers to journey to a sinister-looking tower emblazoned with the ancient emblem of the land of ACME. Sir Larry looked at the tower. "Larry thinks that is a bad place, full of bad people."

Squire Squeak agreed. "Those gas lamps?! No sane person uses gas anymore. They must be evil. Everyone knows that the best lighting comes from trapping Storm Elementals and harnessing their power. Why, those lamps don't even use regulators or aiming devices! Inefficient. All it would take is one or two little adjustments and all them would blow up and produce a big ball of fire!" He pulled forth his magical screwdriver and started walking to the first light.

Sir Larry caught up with him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "We have no time to tinker with strangely inefficient lights. We have a quest!" Sir Larry understood. He'd seen his squire become oddly fixated on machinery before. It was worse than cheese addiction sometimes. "Save little girl first, make better lighting system later." He turned his squire around and walked him back to the shepherd. "He will be better soon. Especially if we find something for him to blow up."

"Blow up? Oh, that's easy. The ghouls will be coming out soon. We'll be lucky if we get halfway their before they attack."

Squire Squeak seemed cheered up by the prospect and pulled out two glowing skulls. Sir Larry approved, and they started walking into Hungrytown, looking for a clue to finding the lost little girl. They were in luck, not only did a pack of ghouls attack, but they brought a Boss Ghoul with them. He perched high on a crypt, braying at the moon, and monologuing as his pack slowly surrounded the trio.

"So, you have returned again, Shepherd? Did you lose something? Maybe a little girl you care about? Too bad, you'll never get me to divulge who has captured her!"

The wily Shepherd had dealt with this boss before. Snaggle-tongue the not-so-bad had tried to capture Squirmie before. It never ended well and his constant walks back from death had diminished him to barely keeping his boss status. "No worries, Snaggle. I'm sure she's so deep in the crypts that not even you know. Probably guarded by a real nasty boss."

"What? No! Verminfester is no nasty boss! That one simply experiments with his stupid altar! He is no match for me!"

Squire Squeak decided that the ghouls were taking far too long to attack. He through two exploding skulls at them, where they were conveniently clumped together. His skulls were filled with dwarven explosives and runes of a dubious nature. They exploded, sending ghouls flying, setting them on fire, shocking them, and burning their skin with acid. This type of skull had a short range, however, and the Squire found himself caught in the blast. He went flying backward to end up sprawling in the mud with his pants on fire. He stood up smiling. "They work!"

Sir Larry was nearly done with his ghouls. "Silly squire, pants on fire!"

The Shepherd, seeing they were running out of ghouls quickly, used his cunning mind. "We give up Snaggle! We offer you a deal. You lead us down to Verminfester and we'll kill him for you so you can steal his territory."

"Do you take me for a fool, Shepherd! What kind of deal is that?"

Sir Larry appeared suddenly, next to the ghoul, startling him. The Fey night caught the ghoul before he tumbled off the cliff and poured candy into his hands. "Is a good deal. Larry will give you twelve green jelly beans to make it a better deal. And Sir Larry will not make you make the sound of pain that ghouls make when Larry tears off their legs."

Snaggle-tongue looked at the tasty, pickle-flavored candies in his hand, and then up at the towering Knight. This was a scary one. "Agreed. This is a good deal. I will show you the secret way down the big stairs and then to the brown room at the end of second corridor. Follow carefully lest you become lost forever!"

Down into the depths the party went with their strange guide. After an eternity that was actually five minutes they turned a corner and before them was the dreaded brown room with its old, musty carpet and towering altar. Hordes of ghouls and Dreadwolves filled the room. A decrepit, ancient ghoul was threatening someone at the other end of the room. It was a little girl with a twisted leg and long white hair. She was holding the ghoul at bay with a sharpened stick, poking him when it came close. Behind her, cowering in the corner was a large butterfly.

"Squirmie! We have to save her."
"A little girl! We have to save her."

The Knight and the Shepherd looked at each other and spoke simultaneously. "Double Quest!"

Squire Squeak looked at the hundreds of ghouls. "Be quiet for a moment. I'm using my BIG GUN for this one!"

Sir Larry's eyes got big. "Oooh! This will be fun! Boom-Boom-Boom!"