Knight of the Jackelope Part 2 (Patreon Only) (Patreon)

Suzette wished that the Fae Lords come with instructions. Every single one of them was different, with strange titles, habits, and ways of doing things. It was tough to figure them out and nearly impossible not to offend them. Everyone in Sedgewick had taken to either ignoring them entirely or treating them as 'Just a totally normal guy.' Luckily, the Fae loved to go along with the play-acting. It was like they shed some mantle of responsibility and could relax.

"Sure, Larry. We have cheese. Would you like a Plowman's Lunch? It's today's special. You get half a loaf of bread, an apple, a quarter pound of cheddar, pickled onions, and a slice of ham."

The big guy in armor nodded his head vigorously. "Larry thinks that is a tasty lunch. But no pickles. Larry doesn't like pickles. One lunch for Larry, one lunch for Squire Squeak, and one lunch for Larry. Three lunches. No pickles."

Squire Squeak spoke up. "Can we have those to go? We have a busy day. Sir Larry has a quest. Have you heard about any quests in this quaint little town?."

Suzette smiled and bowed. "Sure. I'll pack up your lunches, and you can be on your way. And yes, there are a few quests. I have a rat problem in my cellar, and I need some help making a special kind of cheese."

Both the Squire and his Knight leaned forward. "What kind of cheese?"

Suzette leaned towards them and whispered. "A special kind of very stinky cheese. The most stinky cheese!"

The Squire's eyes narrowed, not quite believing her. "I'll have you know that Sir Larry and I are experts in Stinky Cheese. We'll take both quests, but I'll be the judge of how stinky your cheese is." He looked to his night for confirmation.

"Quests are fun. Larry likes Stinky Cheese."

The Fae Knight and Squire Squeak took their bag of lunches and started down the stairs to the basement. A teenage boy with a peg leg ate lunch at the next table. "You sure that's a good idea letting one of the you-know-who wander around down there? They don't think like normal people."

Suzette wasn't worried. "They seem pretty tame as far as I can tell. Maybe a little lost. They can kill some rats for me, and then I can help them with their quest. That keeps it even. You can't just do favors for the fae. Either they decide you offended them, or you owe them."

Runt shrugged. "None of my business, and you know them the best. I was getting my weird feeling again, the one I get before shit hits the fan. Is there any more pie? I can smell a fresh pie coming out of the oven."

The Quest: Rats in the Cellar has been permanently completed by Sir Larry, Knight of the Jackalope. All the rats have gone home and promise to be good.        

The Quest: Rats in the Cellar Part 2 has been permanently completed by Squire Squeak. The 'Large Rats' have pledged to be good and not steal any cheese.        

The Quest: Rats in the Cellar Part 3 has been permanently completed by Clan Hopping Hamster. The name of the Dungeon, formerly known as 'The Bunny Barrow,' has been changed to 'Happy Hamster Hollow.'

Suzette saw the notifications appear, and the quests she normally gave to players disappeared one by one were gone. "Oh, shit!"

The Knight of the Jackalope bounded into the room, his ears bending to negotiate the low ceiling. "We are ready for the Stinky Cheese quest. Questing is easy!"

Suzette smiled at the two of them, then whispered to Runt. "Run out to the field, and tell Rolly who is one the way to milk sedge beasts for the start of the quest. Help me out, and I'll have two whole pies ready for you at dinner."

Runt was out the door, running to the pastures in search of a shepherd as Suzette explained the quest to Squire Squeak. "To make stinky cheese, you must start with stinky milk; take this bucket and find the shepherd to help you milk a stinky cow."

The Knight and Squire left the tavern, the Knight asking his squire, "What is a cow? Don't you get milk from moles?"