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(Small obvious spoilers.)

I need opinions and how people reacted to the last couple of chapters. Specifically the details about an obvious badguy turning two little girls into Cheese Fiends and training them to be murder machines used in battle.

Spoiler: Things work out better for the girls in the end, they don't get torn to pieces by dwarven cannon or have to fight Milo or Larry.

The subject matter involves what is pretty much child abuse, which goes beyond 'we enslave our population and work them hard'. Wurchwitz is not a nice place, but this makes things worse.

Is this too dark? Does it bother anyone?

I can rework the story, make them older but with child like tendencies. Thoughts?

Comments

Anonymous

With stuff like this, I find that it's not the darkness of the subject that I hate so much as the purpose it's used for. The worst examples of darker subjects are just added for 'shock value' and don't really add anything to the story itself. You don't seem like the kind of author to add sad stuff just to spook people, so I think you're okay

Call0013

I think keep it as is as long as they get saved in the end.(and Crackle gets a fitting fate, like I hope Hades or what ever death god is in charge of Crackle’s fate has a Fitting punishment set up for him is The fields if punishment or Tartarus,etc). Hope Larry gets the chance to be hero and save them