Tunnel Rat Chapter 144 (Patreon)

Larry awoke early. Larry always got up early. His tummy was too growly in the morning to sleep, and he always pondered the important question: What's for breakfast?

He looked over at his Jelly Been bush that Gingersnapple and Redfawn had given him for saving their Jellybean farm from the Frozen Fog Boys. Larry had been very cold while guarding the farm all night and bopping the little muskrats on the head when they got too close. He had danced and danced to keep warm, only pausing when he had bopping to do. The happy fairies had come to Larry's house and planted a bush just for Larry. But they were still green. Too many green jelly beans could turn you into a pickle. Larry didn't like that idea, so he was patient. Except when he was hungry. Larry decided to leave Larry's house before he turned into a pickle.

He tried to find out what was for breakfast by sniffing for the smells. Little fishies were easiest. They had a big smell. Cold muffins and fruit was the hardest. Very small smell. Larry got to the porch, and many ratkin were waiting to eat. That was ok. Larry ate last. Unless Tallsqueak, or Ringtail, or Tweedle was here. Then they brought Larry breakfast early. But Larry's nose didn't smell Tallsqueak or Tweedle or Ringtail. And Larry's nose didn't smell breakfast. Larry's tummy rumbled and roared, and some of the people on porch looked worried.

Then Tallsqueak came running up. He'd been fighting. He still all sort of excited and moving quick. He settled down when he got breakfast. Tallsqueak was looking at all the people and had a look on his face that wasn't happy. It got more unhappy when Larry's tummy got more growly.  He told Larry that he'd go find breakfast. That was good. Tallsqueak was smart and always knew what to do!

Milo had no idea what to do. It was obvious something was wrong, and no food was being served. A few hungry ratkin wasn't a problem. A hungry Larry was. Mostly because he would scare all the hungry ratkin, and if someone started running...well, that could be bad. No one knew, and no one wanted to find out. Both Gilad and Bleusnout had lectured him on how to make sure Larry didn't get upset and how to keep the Hollow calm. It was indicative of how well behaved most of the ratkin in the Hollow were. If the mess hall had lights on and the doors were open, they went inside. If it was closed, they didn't.

Milo wondered if he was less well behaved, or just more worried about Larry. Probably the latter. Rank the threats, and try to solve the top ones. Hungry Larry trumped obeying the rules. The doors had a simple lock, one he could open by running a claw down the small crack between the doors, and flipping the lock. He entered, and shut the door behind him. Rifkin was throwing wood into the stoves and lighting them, just starting the day. Milo padded over to him, not trying to be stealthy, but not really making noise. Rifkin kept looking to the entrance to the cellar, nervously.

"Hi, I was...." Milo barely started before a startled Rifkin jumped and yelled.

"What?! Why are you in here? Don't scare me like that!"

"I wasn't trying to scare you, if I was, I wouldn't have yelled 'Surprise!' I only came in to see what was going on."

Rifkin looked very annoyed. "Nothing is going on, just running a little late. I bet Smiley is sleeping in and who knows what the Chef is up to." He lowered his voice a bit and whispered. "He's been acting really odd lately, if you know what I mean."

Milo had no idea what he meant. "So, breakfast is late? I really need some food for Larry so he doesn't get growly in his stomach."

Rifkin thought about that. "Oh, Larry? Yes, I'll find something for him. He took a basket, put in an apple, then two slices of cheddar, and a couple of day-old muffins on top. Here, go give that to Larry. Apples and Muffins are his favorites."

Milo knew that was wrong. "No, little fishies, Puffcakes, and Jelly beans are his favorites. And you shouldn't give Larry cheese. He doesn't eat it anymore."

Rifkin rolled his eyes. "Larry is a cheese fiend. Of course, he likes cheese. You're the one who wanted him to eat! Now you won't feed him? What are you up to? Are you trying to upset Larry? I'm of half a mind to tell Bleusnout what you are doing."

"And the other half?"

Rifkin looked at him oddly. "What other half?"

Milo pointed at him."You said you had half a mind to go tell Bleusnout. What about your other half of mind? I was just curious."

Rifkin turned red in the face. "That's it. I'm going to go find the Chef, you better leave."

Milo came around the counter. "Good idea. Go find the chef, I'll try to make Larry some Puffcakes. How do you make them?"

Rifkin got out of his way as he took out milk, flour, and Golden Puffballs from under the counter. "I don't know how! Only the chef does."

A very loud voice said. "Larry knows how to make Puffcakes!!"

Milo yelled to him. "Come help me cook, Larry. Rifkin is going to go find the Chef."

Larry opened the doors and walked in. Milo made a note to fix the lock later. Larry pointed to the cellar. "Larry can hear Bleusnout downstairs. He is asleep and snoring funny. Here is how to make Puffcakes.

Puffy, Puffy, make them dry.
If their wet, you're sure to cry.
Mash them up with milk and flour.
Ready to eat in a quarter hour.

One cup milk, from goat or cow.
Four cups shroom dust, grinded right now.
A spoon of honey to make them sweet.
A spoon of oil to keep them neat.

Heat the griddle to medium hot.
Too high they burn, too low they not.
Cook until the bubbles start to rise.
Flip them over and have a tasty surprise.

Milo stared at Larry. "Where did you learn that?"

Larry did a few hops. "Same place Bleusnout learned it. We read 'Hamster Huey and the Hungry Giant. It has the secret recipe in it."

Milo took a big bowl and began mixing up the dried Golden Puffballs, they turned to dust very easy. He followed Larry's recipe, but was unsure of what spoon to use until Larry pointed it out to him. With everything mixed up, he put a little oil on the grill and started pouring Puffcakes. He saw that he wasn't very exact in his pouring. Some puffcakes were big, some small, and some weren't even round. This was much tougher than he thought it would be.

The first batch came off the griddle. He found butter and syrup, and handed the plate to Larry, who didn't care if the pancakes matched in size. Milo looked at all the people, and realized Rifkin wasn't around. He needed to make a lot more Puffcakes. He saw Patsy and some of the Puffyfur Clan patiently waiting. He called them all and they came running. "Clan Puffyfur, I have need of skilled alchemists for special alchemy class. First job is to get four large bowls, fill them with dried Golden Puffballs mushrooms, and reduce to a fine powder by any method."

Clan Puffy fur got to work. He had Larry tell them the rest of the alchemical formula. Meanwhile, he found the large frosting bags he had seen Smiley and Rifkin using. They could hold a lot of batter, and dispense it with precision. He took batter from Patsy and filled it up, with directions to always have a filled dispenser ready for him. Then he gave a small squeeze and made an perfect 4" wide puff cake. He went back and forth across the griddle in rows, each puff cake almost touching the next one. He shifted the batter dispenser to his tail left hand, and used his tail and right hand to flip the puffcakes and put them in stacks of six to serve. A line formed and he began feeding the hungry hollow.

Patsy and the rest of the Puffyfurs were working hard to keep up with Professor Tallsqueak. The alchemical formula wasn't hard, but getting the batter right consistency was tricky. They were in awe of how fast he was cooking, with over a hundred puffcakes cooking at once on several griddles. It was like his brain and hands knew exactly what to do. He barely noticed as Rifkin came in with Old Healer and Professor Arlothe and they all ran to the basement. Absorbed with the current job of feeding the hollow, it was all he was focused on. Eventually, everyone got enough to eat, including Larry. Milo made extra big platefuls for Clan Puffyfur and himself. Larry had started on a bag of apples. No cheese at all was served that morning. A few people had asked, but Milo just shook his head and said "No cheese today. Cheese tonight." No one argued with the chef.

Milo piled the dishes in the sink, banked the fires, and washed his hands. Now he remembered the comings and goings downstairs, and began to be worried. He was wondering if he should intrude when Professor Arlothe beckoned him. "We have need of you downstairs Tallsqueak."

The Puffyfurs seemed sad about something. Milo remembered. "Oh, this is the day of the tea party? I'm sorry. I have to miss it, but..." he considered for a second, and then noticed that someone had put a lovely green bow in Larry's hair. "...would it be all right for Larry to go to the party?"

Patsy clapped her hands. "Oh, yes. That would be so fun! We'll pretend he's you."
Larry approved. "Larry likes parties."
Tallsqueak took Patsy aside. "Remember, just cookies and tea. Larry can't have cheese, he is training to be a hero."
Larry's ears heard and he nodded his head.

Larry ran off with Clan Puffyfur for a party. Milo went to the cellar for something he was sure wasn't going to be much fun. It wasn't.

Rifkin was talking. “...and that's how I found him. I came into the mess hall, and didn't see either Smiley or the chef. I started to prepare all the food to feed the Hollow, and that's when Tallsqueak came in to get his food. I ran downstairs to see if Bleusnout was down here. He was sound asleep and snoring, with his face in that box of aged Roquefort that came from the cheese hoard of Clan Emerald Wyrm. I couldn't rouse him at all."

Milo saw that the chef was laying on a small cot, covered by a blanket. Old Healer was carefully cleaning cheese off of his face and whiskers, which were colored blue.

Rifkin seemed very upset. "I just never thought he'd go this far. He's always had a taste for the bleu, but he swore off of it years ago. I think it was all this new cheese coming down here that did it. Dozens of varieties of tasty things to sample. He claimed he was "appraising" it to make sure he had the value correct.

He looked at Milo. "Isn't this all your cheese somehow? The Eels said you cheated them in a duel so that you could take all their cheese. Why would you store it down here? Everyone knows that Bleusnout has a weakness for Bleu Cheese! It's how he got his name!"

He looked around the room. "And I don't see very much of that cheese either! And Smiley is missing. He was helping the eels pack it down here yesterday. Something smells and it isn't the cheese!" He glared at Milo. Milo ignored him, worried about Bleusnout and not wanting to upset Rifkin any further. He already wasn't making any sense.

Old Healer was visibly upset. "He is very far gone. I'm not sure if he will wake up. We must pre-pare for the worst, and at the best, a long time for him to heal. I ask that we call for a full meeting of the Masters of Hollow. As Master Healer, and Master of Death, I ask a conclave to be held, immediately."

Arlothe sighed and looked at the chef laying on the cot. "As Master Mage, I call for a Conclave." They both turned and looked at Milo. More specifically, they were looking at Milo's hand.

He got the clue. He raised his hand and showed the ring. Rifkin seemed very surprised, and his eyes narrowed. "As Master of Scouts, I call for a conclave."

Old Healer straightened. "That is a quorum, we will hold a conclave. I will send word to the Master Gatherer, the Master Artisan, and the Master of Fighting."