Tunnel Rat Chapter 325 (Patreon)

Milo is heading back to Shadowport. He hasn't been in the game much lately. Or has he? 
Knight of the Jackelope was a tongue-in-cheek story I started posting on Patreon where Larry and Milo visit Sedgewick. Some readers encouraged me to actually do it officially. And that's what happened over in Butcher of Gadobhra.

Chapter 380: Larry and Milo arrive in Sedgewick described as Knight and Squire.
Larry and Milo appear in the following chapters:
381, 382, 384, 385, 386,394, 397,398,399, 401, 402, 403, 404, 406, and 407.  

Quick synopsis
Larry had been given a chance to take over the Mantle of the Knight of the Jackelope, normally held by a Lord of the Fae. Injuries kept Prince Leporidon bedridden for the next year. Finishing his long list of quests had been impossible by the rules of the Fae, with the exception of a clever mortal impersonating the Prince. The Hero of Flowertown was asked to take up the quest, along with his squire and trusty hound. Milo wasn't why a knight needed a squire and hound, but Larry needed his help and he'd volunteered.

They first journeyed to the Fae Lands and the Castle of Prince Leporidon for a small competition between clever mortals. Larry's sheer physical power had swept all of the fighting contests and his dancing had impressed the ladies of the court. Squire Squeak had proved himself able to solve puzzles, set up camp, polish armor, and outwit powerful opponents. Georgie had performed admirably, putting all the other hounds in their places. Milos's magical abilities and fighting prowess had been seen as a bonus. Most squires couldn't knock down castle gates with a Runic Force blast. With Larry dressed head to toe in an outlandish set of plate mail and Milo pretending to be human, they had set off to do quests near a small village named Sedgewick.

Things had become interesting almost immediately. Sedgewick had a lot of odd quests. The first quests they got were poorly worded and led to a misunderstanding of how best to accomplish them. Who knew that 'Deal with the large Rats in the tavern basement' meant they should kill them? Larry and Milo had given the rats a small bit of cheddar and talked to them, explaining the problems they were causing. They did the same with some of the dungeon-born Ratkin that raided the cellar.

Then they took a quest to 'Defeat the Necromancer who threatens the village of Bunnykin' and again, misinterpreted the wording. Milo had easily overwhelmed Benny Bunny, the Dark Lord of the Depths while Larry danced around, kicking his simple skeletons until they crumbled. Benny had started his career as a zombie rabbit and was trying to become a better dungeon boss. Milo had given him some tips on making bone constructs and Larry had strongly suggested he move his Dungeon further into the caves so that the small Hollow could prosper.

They'd gone back upstairs to enjoy another meal, happy that not only had they finished Complete 100 Tavern Quests, but also completed Help Mortals Found a City, one of the quests Prince Leporidon had never crossed off his list. Their next quest was a difficult one. It involved finding and milking a strange creature called 'Sedge Beast'. Larry had only milked moles while growing up in Limburger Hollow and Milo was useless when it came to any farm-related activity. But they persevered, acquired Stinky Milk, taken it back to the town, and watched a milkmaid make Stinky Cheese. They'd had their doubts about how stinky the cheese would be, but the dark brown, lumpy cheese had been impressively stinky, letting them cross off another of Prince Leporidon's quests. No Fae Lord had ever eaten a cheese so stinky. Both Milo and Larry were dubious about how stinky the cheese would be. They came from Limburger Hollow, after all, known for its pungent fromage. One small nibble and they understood why the dungeon ratkin held it in high esteem.

However, their escapes in the tavern and the new Hollow had angered the Dungeon Lord. She paid the Dungeon Keeper a visit while Milo and Larry were eating soup. When tensions rose high, Sir Larry diffused them by pointing out the solution: Make a better dungeon. Milo and Larry got to work, looking for ways to gain more mana from the surrounding area to power the dungeon. As luck would have it, the local Baron had gathered a collection of madmen, alchemists, crackpots, and a crazed engineer for a project. Milo helped by correcting their math, and Larry went ear-hunting, doing quests for the Baron and slaughtering attacking players by the dozens.

The masterminds behind the attacks were the Evil Witches of Alchemarx. They were banished forever by Sir Larry, The White Witches of Sedgewick, and a clever Squire who stole all of the magical artifacts they were renting from a Demon Lord. Milo had kept the artifacts, recognizing that some of them were like his screwdriver, predating the system.

Leaving his Squire to work on an increasingly strange set of magi-tech and teleportation projects with the assembled madmen, Sir Larry bounded off to the cursed city of Gadobha and rescued children trapped in the Endless Dance. Milo secretly worked to link all the strange places in Sedgewick and Gadobhra into one huge Mana Storage System, which would allow the Underrodent to steal power for her dungeon.

The meeting with the Dungeon Lord beneath Sedgewick had gone well. Any meeting with Wistyburblre the Under Rodent that you could walk away from was a good meeting. Milo Larry had upset her when they had unwittingly meddled with her dungeons. Helping her to improve her dungeons had set things right and helped Larry finish the last of his questing. Milo wasn't sure he wanted to ever do a quest like that again, and certainly not a long list of them.

It had helped greatly that they went undisguised. Milo had met several interesting people who helped run the dungeon and were anxious for him to outline his plans for improvements to them. Larry was treated with the utmost respect and fear. No one in the dungeon wanted to risk the wrath of a cheese fiend, no matter how polite he seemed.

Milo returns to Shadowport with a lot of experience in mad science and magi-tech, enhancement points, and some extremely dangerous pre-system artifacts:

The Black Abacus: A device for calculating the mana used in spells. It has other uses and can transfigure itself into a pair of Engineer's Goggles that see magical connections and mana flows.

The Tome of Cheating Death: Used by the Witches to send troops immediately back to battle with no death debuffs. It has many other spells dealing with cheating the system.

Dagger of Soul Flensing: Allows a willing sacrifice to give up their Levels of Experience to the Daggers Wielder.

=======================================

He was only a few blocks from the little eatery, and the memory of fish tacos was calling to him. Rather than cross the main street down low where it was lit by lanterns, he scrambled up the side of the nearest building, moving up four stories. The buildings in Shadowport were built out over the streets, sometimes even connected to and braced against the building on the opposite side. Once on the top of the highest roof, Milo had an easy ten-foot jump to the other side. He dropped lower as he ran the rooftops, moving to the small cul-de-sac that was his goal. On the last roof, three human thieves stepped from the shadows.

"Give the password, or pay over your purse. You're on Kingshark territory."

"Sure, the password is: Get between me and my Tacos and I'll carve out your guts and roast those in front of you."

The front thief saw four-inch claws appear on their victim's hands, swallowed hard, and said, "Good password. That works for me. Enjoy your meal." All of them stepped aside, and Milo dropped to the courtyard two stories below. Things looked different. The taco place was open, but the windows that had looked onto the courtyard were boarded over. Looking around, Milo saw that the two bars also looked battered. Empty bottles littered the flagstones, and two female dwarves were sleeping on the ground, leaning against an empty beer barrel.

Milo skulked past them and stuck his head in the door. Several people looked up from their eating, then relaxed when they got a look at him. He wondered what they were nervous about. Sitting at an empty table, it was only a moment until the woman he'd met before came to take his order.

"I remember you. Thank you for coming back again. What can I get you?"

"Fish tacos, please, with extra cheese."

"Sure, thing. Do you want to try a couple of our newer recipes? Fish has been tougher to get lately and we've been trying out some of the stuff from the Hollow. My husband just took out a tray of enchiladas from the oven. He makes them with spicy shredded portabello and Red Hot Milkcaps, cave onions, and three mild cheeses to contrast the heat."

Milo blinked twice. The Hollow was trading with the city? But of course, they would be. With the spider menace gone, the foragers had large caverns of mushrooms available and cheese was something every Hollow excelled at producing. He wondered if Brutus was the person bringing caravans up through the long tunnel dug by the World Boss. In any case, he had to try them.

"Three of each then." His stomach growled in agreement. Looking around, he saw that many of the patrons were eating the new dish, and the smell of roasted mushrooms filled the room.

A merchant at a nearby table nodded to him, "You'll like them. Very good texture and is one of the few dishes that is reasonably priced. It is a crime that foodstuffs coming in by sea are three times as expensive now. Honest merchants can barely survive and the restaurant owners have no choice but to raise prices. Everything costs more now. Except for the goods from the Hollow. I eat a lot of this new dish, and it is very popular."

The man looked like he enjoyed talking and Milo needed information about what was going on. "I've been away from the city. I explore the deep mines looking for ore veins. What's changed? Things seem rougher."

"Rougher? Yes, that is a word you can use. It's the damned pirates. They've invaded the city and taken over the docks. Nothing gets into the city without paying their so-called import fees. Unless you are rich enough to own an airship, little gets by the raiders in the harbor. They fight constantly with the gangs and when not in a fight, drink the slop they call beer. Some of them came here last night. They refused to pay, fought with each other, and only left when the bars had no alcohol left. This establishment survived because they were protected by the kulags. Squint likes their cooking and they pay their fees on time. The bars didn't."

That didn't sound like the crew of the Leviathan to Milo, but he only knew a couple of them well. "Pirates? Do you mean the Scavenger clan from Leviathan? Whale's crew?"

The merchant shrugged, "Is there a difference? I only know there are thousands of female pirates, mostly dwarves, tearing up the city and turning it into a shithole. It's bad for business.

Milo's food showed up, and he began the serious job of stuffing his face. The merchant rambled on for a bit, then hastily paid his bill and left as did two other tables when they saw the new customers enter. The new customers were the two dwarves Milo had seen outside, sleeping off their alcohol.

Milo was used to the Engineers, all of whom smelled better than these two, even when some of them had been half-dead zombies. The women wore worn clothes stained with the remains of many meals and spilled beer. Their hair was tossed, and shockingly, even their beards. Both sported a larger assortment of tattoos, piercings, scars, and knives than any of the scavengers he had met.

"Beer, tacos, and more beer. And make it snappy."

Rosalinda was standing near the kitchen, and her husband, Carlos, joined her. She glared at the two dwarves. "No. No food for you. You didn't pay last time and broke my windows. Leave now, or I will call for the Kulags, and like last time, they will deal with you."

The two pirates laughed. "Kulags? I don't see any Kulags. We checked to see who was eating here. By the time they get here, we'll be gone and you'll be cooking tacos without arms."

The last patrons were heading out the door, and Milo joined them. As he got to the door, the two pirates stood up but before they took a step, one felt something hard wrap around her neck and cut off her air. The other felt two sets of claws at her throat."

"You counted wrong. One Kulag is here. We're leaving this nice place or I will kill you here." He started moving backward. One followed to keep the claws off her throat. Milo dragged the other with his tail as she turned blue. He was feeling very annoyed. These people had threatened people he liked, they smelled and had interrupted his dinner.

Outside, he released both of them. They glared at him and drew knives. "You think this is over? We have a whole crew of sisters on the Black Gull who will tear this place apart when we come back. They're itching for a rematch with the Kulags." They were glaring at him, but undecided about fighting, eyeing his claws.

"I believe you."

"Smart boy. But if you're here when we come back, don't expect smarts will save you."

"Not what I meant." Both hands and a tail glowed, and circles of runes rotated around them, forming a complex pattern in less than a second. The force blast hit both dwarves hard. Milo hadn't held back at all. They lay stunned on the flagstones and were dead before they recovered.

Five minutes later, the Kulags on the bridge saw someone walking up to them, dragging two bodies behind him. Milo walked to the edge of the chasm and tossed the bodies over the edge. He calmly walked to the bridge and said, "Kulag!" The four echoed him.

"Those two interrupted my dinner. Tell Squint that Milo agrees about the new enchiladas. Very tasty. I think two people can guard the bridge effectively. The other two can guard Carlos' restaurant. Help clean up the courtyard while you're there, there are some new bloodstains."

They watched him fade back toward the shadows and disappear, heading to the docks.