Butcher of Gadobhra Chapter 391 (Patreon)

As soldiers scrambled away from the charging barbarian, Ozzy charged as well, but it was Suzette who got in the first shots. Bobby-Chuck wasn't exactly subtle in anything he did, and it was hard to miss a ten-foot-tall glowing, screaming barbarian as he leaped at you. Her sun-blessed staff appeared in her hands, and the first spell seared the air as she used her meta magic perk to double the damage. Suzette didn't have a large collection of spells like a normal wizard who had attained the fourth tier, but she was slowly increasing the power of the ones she had. The original solar arrow cantrip had barely done any damage. But when enhanced by her staff, high RAD, and Evergreen's blessing, her new spell became a powerful weapon. Evergreen's Shining Lance shot out of her staff, hitting Bobby-Chuck in the chest, burning off his shirt, chest hair, and several layers of skin. Before he could take a step, she hit him a second time, again doubling the damage. With a base damage of 200 points and another 5 damage for each point of RAD, and the doubling effect of her staff, Bobby-Chuck took 2000 points of damage as he landed and got the party started.

Like Ozzy, the barbarian was hard to hurt physically and could shrug off elemental damage. Radiance wasn't any of these, and the damage bypassed his mitigation and resistance. Anyone else would have howled in pain; Bobby-Chuck didn't even notice she'd hit him with a spell. His normal abilities of Feeling No Pain and Just Don't Care were enhanced by the amount of alcohol he'd poured down his throat. The spells that burned into him caused damage but didn't stop him. Even his alcohol-soaked brain cells could identify the threat, and he started running in her direction, building momentum. Ozzy moved to block him.

The shrapnel from the destroyed ballistae had wounded both soldiers, and Bobby-Chuck had a few minor cuts. It only took one drop of blood for Layla to use an ability that put her on his flank. Her seething red great sword slammed into his side. And stopped after cutting a quarter of an inch into his skin. The physical attack was too weak to penetrate his mitigation, doing only 30 damage, but he did lose a hundred points of health as she drained his life from him. His counter-strike came immediately, slamming a meaty fist into her head that knocked her across the tower and into the stairway. The clatter of her unorthodox descent echoed back up but was drowned by the roar of battle.

Ozzy was charging, growing in height as he went until he matched Bobby-Chuck in size if not inebriation. It would have been an even clash if not for the silvery vines that grew out of the tower floor and wrapped around the barbarian's left leg, making him stumble at the last second and robbing him of his momentum. The Butcher hit him like a freight train, wrapping his arms around the barbarian in a bear hug and driving him to the edge of the tower and beyond. The parapet of the tower shattered as Ozzy took his opponent over the edge. Suzette followed, leaping off the edge but using a levitation spell to slow her fall. Ozzy and Bobby-Chuck hit the roof of the building below and kept going.

Ares tossed rolls of bandages to the two soldiers to help with their minor cuts, then peered over the edge of the tower, watching the fights below. "So that's what Hermes is recruiting for Priestesses now? Interesting. "

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Slysnake had regained his slithering form, and he and the hedgehog began moving stealthily through the shadows toward the area where the old teleport stone had been. Marko had been abandoned in a shadowy corner. He was starting to get bigger, and Sly didn't want him in his mouth if he expanded suddenly. They got within a hundred feet of their objective and were looking for the best path through the market stalls to the center when a chunk of ceiling hit the floor, followed by Bobby-Chuck with Ozzy on top of him. Both combatants rolled to their feet, the barbarian throwing off sparks and white fire, the Butcher beginning to smoke as his furnace heated up. The earth mage and druid reversed course, both knowing how dangerous their companion could be. This wasn't a fight they wanted to be near.

The floor in front of the Shrine of Hermes shattered underneath the impact. Bobby-Chuck through the Butcher off of him and rolled to his feet, shaking his head vigorously as he tried to focus.

"Good hit, Bro! Let's get this party started!"

Ozzy rolled smoothly to his feet and pulled out his flensing hatchets, "Yeah, you said that already."

"I did? Damn, does that mean two parties? Woohoo!"

Ozzy answer was to surge forward and slash at him with both weapons, drawing blood, but not doing a lot of damage. It was like hitting hard wood with a blunt ax. He wasn't even sure if his opponent noticed. Bobby-Chuck blocked his next swing, forearm to forearm, stepped in close, and snapped his head forward, shouting, "Headbutt!"

The blow staggered Ozzy and knocked him back a few steps. He gathered himself, took a deep breath, and unleashed a geyser of fire at Bobby-Chuck. Any clothes left on the barbarian burned up except for a small loincloth. The fire singed the barbarian but again seemed to do little to no damage. The smoke of the fire formed two sharks that began to gnaw at Bobby-Chuck's ankles from behind. He ignored them and charged Ozzy, knocking him into a market stall whose sign proclaimed 'Vodspaller's fine Whelks'. Ozzy chucked one of the few unbroken jars at his opponent. The clay jar hit his head and broke, brine and pickled snails sliding off of him. Bobby-Chuck licked his lips and put a couple in his mouth. "Shelled crawdads? Salty-good, but a little on the hot side." He jumped, covering thirty feet, and stomped Ozzy to the floor again. The butcher rolled and came up swinging, axes still on the floor.

The punch hit the barbarian in the jaw, knocking out two teeth and staggering him. Ozzy followed up with a left, another right, and then a flurry of blows. Bobby-Chuck screamed in pain and grabbed the Butcher around the waist, then drove him into a wall. Momentarily stunned, the Butcher was surprised when Bobby-Chuck grabbed his ankles and swung him around, sending him flying into what had once been the Kalvek family's merchant stand.

Ozzy snarled and threw his chain at Bobby-Chuck, trapping his arms to his sides. The barbarian struggled, but he lacked the leverage to slip free, and the demon-infused chain was far stronger than he was and knew how to play this game. Ozzy began hitting him over and over. Bobby-Chuck started stumbling after a hard shot to his gut. "Don't feel so good."

Turning to Ozzy, he belched a horrible combination of gut gas and alcohol fumes that blinded Ozzy for a second. Bobby-Chuck shrunk a foot as if some of the pressure inflating his muscles was gone. He used the sudden slack in the chain to squirm free. He was about to step toward Ozzy when he screamed. "Ah! Spiders! Why does it always have to be Spiders when I get drunk? Off me, dammit!" He was surprised when they squished as he hit them. Usually, drunk spiders just crawled all over him and there was nothing he could do. "Ha! Squishy drunk-spiders."

Two shadowy hounds joined the smoking sharks, trying to get through his hard skin and do some damage. Bobby-Chuck stomped and kicked at them, and Suzette used the opportunity to blast him in the face with her staff at point-blank range and then dodge away. She felt the wind as his flailing arm went over her head. Ozzy heaved a heavy crate at him, knocking Bobby-Chuck into his own merchant stand. As he started to advance, the barbarian started yelling.

"Kings-X, Time Out, Half-Time. I've got the munchies, and I smell smoked sausage. He broke open a barrel and started chewing on a handful. "Damn, these are good."

Ozzy paused. So far, all he'd accomplished was wrecking the marketplace, and Bobby-Chuck had healed almost all the wounds except for a black eye and some missing teeth. "Glad you like them. Those are mine. I've got my own smokehouse and herd of pigs. Have all you want, but stay away from my bacon!"

"Bacon? Ooh, this fine chunk of smoked piggy hanging here? You know, where I come from, no one would leave something precious like this just hanging around. Down in the Moot, where I've got a little hole now, they're pretty down on stealing anything unless it's edible. If you can chew it, it's fair game."

Suzette looked at him in a panic, "No, not the bacon! You can't just eat the bacon."

Ozzy scowled. "You touch my bacon, and I'll thrash you good!"

"Ha, not scared. I like a good fight. Finders Keepers, and Losers...uh, something sad." He grabbed the hanging slab of bacon and bit into it with gusto, eating twenty pounds of mage’s delight in five bites.

"Oh, damn, this is better than the crawdads, but sort of on the hot side. You got a beer or anything to wash it down. I’m feeling some fierce heat coming on." He turned to look around and found he was floating.

As Suzette concentrated on the levitation spell, Ozzy snagged Bobby-Chuck with his chain and dragged him as fast as he could to an open courtyard. Swinging him around and round, he threw him into the air, releasing his chain and letting the barbarian sail into the sky. Ten seconds later, as the overdose of Burney Bacon ignited the gallons of white lightning still in his guts, he exploded in a multicolored ball of flame and lightning. For the next week, his headstone would hang there in the air, two hundred feet above the top of the main tower.

Ares looked on, appreciating the fireworks.