Chapter 42: Cleanup (Patreon)

Warm water cascades over my shoulders as I let myself sink into a small stone indent in the ground. The waterfall from above fills it ever so slowly with magic-dense liquids that steam and abrade my body, sloughing dirt and grime off into a series of thin slits below. Only the dirty water joins them according to the old Ogean woman who runs this place, and from how clear the water that rises over my legs is, I’m inclined to believe her.

“Ah, bliss.” I sigh and run my hands through my hair. “I’m really not a bath person, but it’s always nice to have one every now and again.”

Illumisia shakes herself and eyes my one-person sized stone bath. Then she looks up at the other indents in the room–none of which are filled at the moment–but doesn’t move at all.

I roll my eyes and wave her off. “You’ve done more than enough for me; I can spot you two Worth for the bath. Go take a load off.”

She tilts her head to the side, then nods. “Thank you. I have not taken a warm bath in… many, many years. I will savor this one.”

“Warm baths are overrated.” Pearl chimes in. “Cold showers are all I need, and they’re way more rejuvenating than soaking in your own dirt can ever be.”

“That’s why I sprung the extra half-Worth for the self-cleaning baths.”

Pearl rolls her eyes–a sensation that I don’t see, but only feel, and goes right back to whatever she was doing. She’s been a lot less talkative since we got into the city, and when she does speak, it sounds like she’s got something new on her mind. I don’t know how; we haven’t found a library yet, and nothing’s changed inside of her shell since the beacon.

Before I can really relax a weight settles on my very being, spins a few times, and lands with an impact that sends ripples through my awareness. I crack one eye open and summon my Class Card to see what’s changed.

Repurposing Complete.

Shellraiser Teleporter has been converted into Relocation.

Relocation? Did repurposing the teleporter give me another spell? I grin and slouch down into the water until only my head is above it as I swipe over to my spells and skills to see the new addition.

Relocation

Evolution Requirement: Spend 200 Worth on this spell.

Evolution Progress: 0/200

Designate an object or person with a lower Soul stat than yours or who consents to this spell. Trade places with the designated object, with mana or Worth cost varying based on the Worth of the object or the clearance of the person multiplied by the distance between targets.

There’s no qualifier for casting based on Worth or mana for this one. Well, there is, but it isn’t two different qualifiers like my other spells. And it already tells me how much Worth I need to spend to upgrade it. All that pales in comparison to the absolute excitement that washes over me at the idea of having my own personal teleporter. Even if it’s short range and horrifically expensive to use.

Of course, those are just my assumptions. Ones I need to clear up before something shitty happens. I summon a ghost quarter between my fingers and push the spell into the coin, feeling a tingly sense of dissociation flow down my arm into the coin, and smile down at it. I really didn’t get to revel in the feeling of casting a new spell for the first time when I got Projectile and Shield, so I’m going to savor the hell out of this one.

I shudder as the spell fully enters the coin, feeling the connection cement itself with my awareness in some kind of gooey camaraderie. It doesn’t feel like it’s as outright powerful as Projectile or as strong as Shield, but it’s a completely different sensation altogether. Like looking out of an airplane window and watching the world fly by underneath. I glance around for some things to trade places, but the room’s pretty much empty. Save for me, Illumisia, and the waterproof lockers with all my stuff.

“Eh.” I shrug and flick the coin out into the open. “Let’s see what happens when I do this.”

Magic flares from the coin for a split second. An inky person-shaped shadow appears above it at that moment, and I feel my awareness flare at the spell. At the same time, the shadow of a coin flickers in my palm. Almost like it’s asking me to confirm the targets as me and the coin. I nod to myself in confirmation.

Magic flickers, and then everything does. I blink in surprise as the world suddenly shifts to a slightly different perspective. The door’s a little closer, and I’m definitely not submerged in water any more. I reach down and feel my skin, which is still wet, and push myself to my feet with a frown.

“I thought that was going to be a lot more discombobulating.” I muse and shake my hair out of my eyes. “That was just… fine.”

Illumisia burbles out a laugh and pops her head clear out of the water. “They are your spells, system-born. If they made you uncomfortable or unable to do anything, they would be very much useless. Though I suppose mana overuse can lead to horrific sensations. And you did overdraw on awareness. But the point holds that your spells should never harm you.”

“I’m sure that’ll definitely hold true.” I chuckle and make my way back to the bath, lower myself into the water, and finally completely submerge myself. I’ve got twenty-five minutes left, and I’m going to make the most of every one of them.

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“It looks like you found that change of clothes I left you.” The old Ogean woman sitting out on the patio that doubles as the bathhouse’s front room says with a smile. “They look good on you, sugar.”

I mirror her smile and pat the loose-fitting orange shirt with my palm. “Thanks for that. I left the money for them in my locker.”

“Oh, I didn’t do this for pay, sugar. But thank you anyway. The next few times you come here is on me.” The woman takes a long pipe out of her mouth and gestures at Illumisia with it. “For both you and your painted dane.”

“Much appreciated.” I say with a wave, then pause before I can well and truly leave. “Hey, can you tell me where the Castlefoot district is? I’m supposed to meet some people there.”

The old woman raises an eyebrow, but gestures me over to her anyway. “Of course I can, sugar. Castlefoot’s where all the tourists go–cares more about style than substance, but I can’t hold it against them. They were the nothing district before the aggressive rebranding. Do you have a map in your Class Card?”

I shake my head. “The system didn’t give me one.”

“Ooh, one of those classes, huh?” The woman laughs and summons a business card and a pen with a wave of her hand. “I know what that’s like, but you humans usually get the good classes. Ones that start off with primary attributes instead of having to earn them.”

That catches my attention. “You can earn primary attributes?”

“You can, but only once. You go to the place the system tells you, complete whatever trial it gives you, and then it gives you a real class.” She says as she scribbles down some directions, then hands me the card. “Here you go, sugar. Take a right out of here, then watch out for the big signs with the pictures I drew for you and take the turns you need. Hopefully I didn’t write anything that you can’t read.”

I accept the card and flip it over from the bathhouse’s information, revealing a very detailed set of lines and symbols. With things above the lines that I can’t read for shit.

“Sorry, but are these numbers?” I point at a symbol above one line that looks like an ‘S’ made of triangles. “I can’t read them.”

The old woman leans in, then nods. “They are, but you shouldn’t need them, sugar. Just follow each street until you see the sign I drew, then take the turn as designated by the arrow. Oh, and be a little careful using your Class Card out in the open. We’re a generally safe city, but it’s never smart to make yourself anything close to an easier target.”

I smirk and gesture at myself. “Being human probably doesn’t help with that, but I’ll do my best not to look like an easy mark. Illumisia here is probably the biggest deterrent I could walk around with, though.”

“Mm… alright, sugar, if you say so.” The woman shrugs, then waves me off with thick fingers. “If your painted dane is stronger than you are, then you’ve got far more problems than showing off your Class Card.”

“Noted. Thanks for the directions, and thanks again for the clothes and bath. I might not be able to read your language, but I know when someone’s giving me a screaming deal.”

The old woman laughs out loud as I walk away, taking the price board she’d hidden as I first walked up and setting it up right next to her. My bath with all the bells and whistles was supposed to be fifteen Worth, and from the price tags on the clothes, they were at least another fifty in total. Not sure if that’s a fair price for a flowy orange shirt, underwear and a bra that fit surprisingly comfortably, and a pair of white pants that are like a mixture of pajama pants and jeans. I’ve still got my own sandals, which have held up surprisingly well for everything I’ve put them through.

“You must have a bevy of problems considering how many times more powerful I am than you.” Illumisia snickers. “If my disguise was good enough to fool that woman and the guards at the gates, I am confident nobody will see through it. Even still, it was quite amusing to be considered the weakest part of your arsenal.”

I roll my eyes, even though I completely agree with everything Illumisia just said. Then I pause just long enough for whoever’s walking behind me to scoff in annoyance. I wait for them to go around until they’re out of earshot, then shoot Illumisia a glance.

“That woman was powerful? I didn’t feel anything.”

Illumisia raises an eyebrow. “Yes, which is what she wanted you to feel. Obviously.” 

“Save the insults and give me an explanation, please.”

She snorts and rolls her eyes right back at me. “Politeness on the end of a request does not supersede the rudeness it began with. But very well; the woman emanates a sensation that I associate with those between clearance levels forty-five and fifty. And that is with whatever cloaking she is doing; she could very well be even stronger, and all I can sense is that which escapes her barrier.”

“Now that’s a scary thought.” I say as we pass a couple of the scaly-people, who both give me strange looks. Because I’m talking to myself. Right. “How would she compare to you?” I continue in barely a whisper. “And what about the Horizonguard?”

“I will let you figure that out for yourself. It is no fun if I just spell everything out for you, is it?”

“Fun doesn’t matter when my life’s on the line.”

“Well, it’s a very good thing that your life is nowhere near on the line at the moment. The system cannot do anything directly to you anymore, you have the choice of which quests you accept, and you have not made a name for yourself. You are an unknown. Anonymity is by far the best way to keep yourself safe.”

“Yeah, but how long will that last?” I stick my hands in my deep pockets as the first sign–a cup with a pair of sticks inside of it–signals me to go right. “Sure, I could sit around and do nothing, but what happens when the system gives me another ultimatum? I don’t want to get caught on my ass and scramble just like I did. Things managed to work out, but they almost didn’t. Many times.”

I glance up at the sky, and I can almost feel the seaside air caress my face. “I don’t want to live in constant fear, Illumisia. If anything, I want the system to live in constant fear of me.”

Pain lances down my right arm. I grit my teeth and force myself to keep walking, but if anyone was paying attention to me, they definitely noticed it. Damn health potion rebound and it’s damn… pain. Damn brain not working great through the damn pain.

“Are you handling it just fine?” Illumisia asks casually. “You had a very large hole in your arm and a lot of lacerations. The pain must be quite uncomfortable.”

“I’m handling it.” I say through grit teeth. “This isn’t the worst it’s been. And it’ll go away in a few minutes. Just gotta… grin and bear with it until then.”

I glance down a well-lit alleyway, then nod towards it for Illumisia to follow me. She raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything, and joins me in the safe-ish embrace of two buildings. When I open my Class Card she nods to herself, then turns around so she can watch the street for me.

“Thanks.” I grind out. “Just gotta do this before I forget.”

The free stat upgrade goes right into Soul–putting me at an even ten. I sneak out the last stat coin and flip it as discreetly as possible, then start to press the coin against my screen. But something stops me. A little voice in the back of my head that screams about how much more this coin costs than one of the under-five coins. And how my Fate is definitely not at five just yet. Instead of putting the coin into my Fate, I shove it into my pocket instead.

“Hey, what’re you doing?”

I look up and see a small scaly-person staring at me from the other end of the hallway. With bright, curious eyes that are locked on my system. …A kid. That’s what they’re called, not small people. Non-humans have kids too, Shelby–don’t forget that.

“Just checking something.” I say without smiling. “Don’t worry about it, kid.”

Instead of walking away, the kid decides to get even closer to me. “You have a class? What’s it like? Can you cast spells? What about stats–do you actually get stronger just by pushing a button?”

I send my Class Card away before the kid can get close enough to touch it. He–at least I think the kid is a he–stops dead in his tracks, goes pale, and starts to back away.

“Sorry, but I don’t really have time to chat.” I apologize and turn around, only to come face-to-back with Illumisia. Who has grown about five times bigger in the last thirty seconds. “Whoah. Hey, Illumisia, what’s wrong? We’re trying to be discreet, remember?”

She growls deep and low, sending a rumble through the stone that brings with it a sense of deadly fear. One that I shake off with a sigh, but from the sound of the kid’s footsteps, it scared him enough to sprint off.

“Is there someone behind this thing?!” A voice calls out from beyond Illumisia. “Call off your dog!”

I don’t recognize the voice, but there’s a little familiarness to it. Almost a… growl, deep beneath the words.

“Can’t do that, sorry.” I reply and pat Illumisia on the butt. “You must’ve done something to piss her off. Stop doing whatever it is, and she might back down.”

The words catch in the unknown person’s voice and come out as a terrified squeak. “Might?”

“Yeah, might. Depends on how badly you pissed her off.” I chuckle and flick a ghost quarter down at the ground, then jump as a shield ramp appears below my feet. “I haven’t seen her get this angry at anything before, so whatever you did must’ve been…”

It’s my turn to get my words stuck in my throat when I walk to the top of the ramp and finally see the face behind the voice. It doesn’t even take a second to recognize where I’ve seen something like them before; after all, I’m standing on quite possibly the most powerful one to ever exist.

Seeing a humanoid painted dane was definitely not on my bingo card for today.