Totem: 23 - Memory Trip (Patreon)

So, our fight against the third corrupted beast was a complete disaster.

Annika and I decided that because Russell was going nowhere fast, and we both had our totem cores running on empty, it would be pretty dumb to face something else today. No matter what Ash said.

We spent an uneasy night out in the forest away from the ruined village. It wasn't much better, but Annika had me watch over Russell as she went through the forest and picked up the supplies that she needed. I'll give it to the woman. She seemed to know her stuff about what could be found in the forest.

Meanwhile, I tried to refill my gosling core with the natural magic in the air. A lot of it was pretty rotten, and I had a feeling that my poor gosling was having to work to separate the good stuff from the chaff, but it was better than nothing. I was even tempted, once or twice a night, to swallow one of the corrupted cores and double down and see what I could get from it. It could be quite the boost right when we needed one.

But… I think Annika had a point. This could very well be some sort of weird test from Ash. And if that was the case, he had left those cores behind for a reason. Likely to see if I was the type of fool who would take chances and end up deforming himself. The more I thought about it, the more sense that made.

That realization didn't really cool my anger towards Ash, because I wish that people would just be straight up with me, but at least I think I understood him. A little. Maybe.

Russell… was not doing well. He barely made it to the forest. Apparently, walking hurt his elbow somehow, no matter how softly Annika ended up binding the arm.

I didn't know how Russell was going to make it the next day, but he had to buck up. At least he hadn't complained much about Annika doing what he deemed as 'womanly things'. Probably because she was taking on a more phantom, motherly role, but I'd enjoy the silence while it lasted.

The next day, we packed up all our materials, including what Annika had scavenged from the forest. She assured me that one good thing the roadrunner had done was to corrupt the hell out of the fauna, which was good for our needs.

Then, we hit the road and started following the trail to our third, and hopefully final, corrupted beast.

Not to go all ancient movie, but: I had a bad feeling about this.

The first thing that tipped me off we were in for a bad time was the smell. There was this pervasive scent of rot that wouldn;t go away. It was just like smelling active decay, even though the forest broken by field and grasslands weren't showing much of anything.

Right up until the point that it did.

It wasn't that the grass and trees died; it was more that they were covered in this slimy substance. Like everything was covered in a thin layer of scum. We stuck to the road as best we could because none of us wanted that crap to get on us.

Then we found the first of the destroyed villages.

The less said about that, the better. All I'll say is that we only found one body, and it was that of a deformed. Seeing how by now all the trees and the bushes were all covered with that slimy layer, and some kind of gray-green lichen that did not look healthy at all… I wasn't that surprised. It was definitely done by the corrupted beast, and it was a big mother. It had rampaged through the village and literally taken a dump on the remains.

I did not like this beast.

And I worried, taking a look at a paw print that was bigger than one of my outstretched arms… this might be way above my pay grade.

It was a wolf track.

"I bet Ash is going to come in at the last second and save us right when we begin to get overwhelmed," I muttered to myself. "And of course, he'll expect us to thank him, and then lecture us with some kind of wise lesson that we should've learned."

"Seth, did you say something?" Annika asked.

"No."

We had just exited the village, and kept on heading down the road, figuring that we would meet up with its lair sometime or another. That was when it, unlike the other spirit beasts we'd faced, decided to meet us instead.

The first hint was an earth-shattering howl that came from what sounded like the next mountain over. It was hard to tell where the howl came from, considering it seemed to bounce off all the mountains and the valley. We all froze.

I hadn't heard a howl like that in real life. Nobody in our old village had a wolf totem, and they were considered to be fearsome warriors which didn't really mesh with our agriculturally minded small town.

And the media back on old Earth had really done wolves a disservice. I never thought that a howl could be a war cry before, but it the howl seemed to cut me right to the bone, and even my fierce little inner gosling core seemed to shiver.

I turned to Annika to see her face turned toward me. I guess it was showtime.

"Russell," I said, "you have to stay back, buddy."

“Annika… Please don’t go," he said, in a whining little kid voice. “Don’t leave me.”

Annika only shook her head.

"Do as Seth says. It's my duty to help out with this. We will see you soon," she said firmly.

Wonder of wonders, Russell actually stayed behind. Actually, what he did was flop on his ass on the gravel, and watch us with a pouting look on his face, but the kid was injured, so I gave him a little slack.

Annika and I, side-by-side, walked from one rise to another.

I fiddled with the pack that was slung over my shoulder, making sure that the flap was on tight, but not too tight.

"You think this will work?" I asked.

"I have no idea," she said. "But this feels right to me."

Hopefully it was because deep inside, some sort of crazy trickster had always been hiding within, and not because of some weird false confidence.

Ash is probably in the woods, waiting to step in when things go south, I told myself, and kept my feet moving forward.

The howl came again, and once more it was hard to tell where it was coming from, only that it was closer.

I was the one to spot the movement, right on the shoulder of the next hill. And even from far away, I could tell that this wolf was freaking huge.

“There it is," I said and was proud at myself that my voice didn’t shake.

It howled one more time and came charging right at us.

Shit.

We were committed now. There was no way that we could turn tail and outrun this thing. Each lope took up dozens of yards. It moved effortlessly, just like a wild thing should. It was fast, and tall enough that the bottom of its jaws could scrape the roof of a normal house. T-Rex size.

Oh fuck, I thought. There's no way. Just no way. Ash’s sent us into a suicide run.

But just as I thought that, I started to get angry. Geese didn’t  run. They pinched back.

"Ready?" I yelled to Annika.

She looked at me, her head still covered under a veil.

"Ready," she said, clutching her pack.

We spread out to either side, better to give the wolf two targets. That way, it would take five seconds to snap us both up, instead of maybe the one and a half it would otherwise.

The wolf came on at a dead run and should have basically rolled right over us. Honestly, the thing was so big it could've crushed us like a war elephant in a fantastical story. Ha. Imagine a corrupted elephant spirit beast – no, Seth, concentrate!

Instead of running us down, the wolf stopped about thirty feet away, cocking his head a little bit like a dog.

It’s probably confused why we hadn't run like normal people, I thought.

I met its golden eyes, its jaws flecked with spittle. Big mistake.

A moment later, I was somewhere else entirely.

I’ve said as much before, but my memories right before I had woken up as a naked toddler in the middle of the field were hazy at best. And even the memories before that, in my first life, were starting to get a little dim. I figured it was because at this point they had occurred more than a decade and a half ago. And also, they had little to nothing to do with my current life. I was becoming disconnected with them.

But as I looked into the wolf's eyes, the next moment I was lying down in my shabby bunk in the orientation barracks of the Evacuate Earth project.

Evacuate Earth was run by the government, meaning that any amenities that trickled down to me through layers of bureaucracy and corrupt officials were minimal at best. The bunk mattress was thin, and felt like I was sleeping directly on the springs. The sheets were scratchy, reminiscent of hospital or nursing home quality, suggesting they had been used by many before me. Maybe someone had died in them. And both sides of my pillow – which, by the way, had no pillowcase – carried a weird sour smell.

But it didn't matter. I was lucky to be here. My own personal golden ticket, and I was Charlie Bucket.

The domes were failing one by one – a combination of brain drain from the best and brightest being among the first waves to ship off this dying planet, and the 'job makers' leaving, it seemed that things were sinking faster back home.

My orientation class wasn't among the first waves to go out, but it still showed who was getting the best deal. The vast majority of the colonists were trillionaires, a few billionaires' sons with a sprinkling of scientists. Basically, people of importance. There was even a singer who had that one hit a few years back on the net. Though by his skeletal look and the pockmarked skin on his cheeks, he had fallen into some hard chemicals after failing to create a second hit song.

The only reason I was here was thanks to the lottery system. I had gotten lucky. But just because I was here didn't mean that my luck would continue to hold out.

Case in point: I was staring up at my personal holoscreen on the wall, which showed the current class rankings.

Seth Holland. Dead last.

Which was both baffling and frustrating because I knew I was doing better than the druggie popstar who was passed out half the time. And I had to be doing better than a couple of the rich kids who were just goofing around all day.

But the teachers knew which side their bread was buttered on. Likely, they were trying to get their asses shipped off-planet too.

Turning my head, I looked at the person in the bunk next to mine. Aisha was in the same boat as me, the other normie of the class. That was why we both had the bottom bunks. There was a third 'muggle' lottery-winner, but he was about as antisocial as they came.

"How did you do?" Aisha asked in a low voice.

"80 out of 80," I said. "You?"

"79 out of 80."

I rolled my eyes. Yep, knew it was rigged.

The class ranks were important, as the final rankings would give us first shot at the jobs we wanted once the colonists landed on our new world. From the looks of things, my job was going to be a toilet scrubber.=

Well hell, maybe I'll be a toilet scrubber, but if I can breathe the open air… Still worth it.

"Do you think there's going to be a cut?" Aisha asked.

A feeling of dread filtered through the memory.

Wait, this was a memory?

I shook my head.

"No, if there's gonna be a cut, it's not going to be us," I said. "They're going to need basic workers, plus, you know the propaganda people won't allow it. They need us to the very end."

But the anxiety continued to build in my chest. I pressed my hand against it, right over my stomach. Right over where my gosling core would be. Wait… This was Earth, I didn't have a gosling core here.

I closed my eyes, and though I knew this was a memory, it felt like only a few seconds had passed.

And I knew something terrible was about to happen. Klaxons suddenly rang, and I knew that whatever happens after this… It was bad. Really bad.

No, it's worse than that.

I had done something terrible.

Was that why none of the memories right before the time I had woken up as a toddler had come back to me? Was it that I didn't want to accept that I was a terrible person? That by all rights, I should have died back on Earth? That I didn't deserve this second chance?

What was I doing with myself? Why was I even trying to fight? I didn't deserve this second chance… I should just lay here in the bunk and die, let whatever was about to happen roll over me and end my stupid, useless life.

Anything was better than making that choice again.

Deep inside,  the gosling opened his eyes, honked, and blew the illusion away.

And the next thing I knew, I was back to my good old self… And staring down into the red throat of a giant ass wolf.