Totem 13: Am I A Cannibal Now? (Patreon)

Oh shit.

How many of those monster-core "pills" had I eaten? Six? Seven? It had been a while, but I was pretty sure that I ate one for a week straight hoping that it would grant me magic powers. I must have been functioning with baby brain at the time because I had been a god-damned idiot.

Did this make me a cannibal?

All this flashed in and out of my head as I stared at Ash, horror struck.

“Those… came from people?” I repeated like a complete idiot. Because duh. I was still trying to wrap my mind around it. “Wait, do they come from the Deformed, too?”

In answer, Ash stepped over to the closest body of the Deformed which lay a few feet away. I think it had been some kind of cat. A housecat, not Ash’s version of a Totem. The pushed-out muzzle and face were smaller, more delicate. And the orange tabby marking gave it away.

Ash repeated his motion to slash down, and the stomach parted. An orb floated out. This was different than the last, though. A dark streak was struck through the middle of the orb and the energy it spit out felt… wrong. I couldn’t see it, but it felt like mustard off-yellow puss.

Ash grabbed the core and I let out a breath of relief as the energy dissipated. It hadn’t been pleasant.

“As you can see, the Deformed have a core. All beings with a Totem do. But this one is cracked.” He turned the monster core in his fingers to show me the dark streak as if I hadn’t seen it before.

“Can you…” I swallowed, both at the thought that this had come out of people and also as an after-effect of feeling the disgusting off-ness of the monster core. Manning up, I continued, “Can you use that, too?”

“Consume it, you mean?” Ash’s smile was sardonic as if he knew my struggle. “Of course.”

He tossed both pills to me. Instinct had me catch them.

They felt sort of inert in my palm. Weird, considering the power that they represented and especially considering each of these had been in a body a few moments ago.

Ash continued, “The uncorrupted core is, of course, more potent. When you take the cracked core, you must be careful to filter out the impurities. That means if you take it at night, you must filter it with your Totem before you go to sleep. Otherwise, you risk internalizing those impurities and becoming corrupt yourself. I’ve known of a few ambitious students who have become Deformed that way.” He paused, considering. “Though it’s possible they were consuming a higher-grade core. Rich kids trying to run before they walk, you know?”

That was all well and good, but the law of supply and demand was screeching through my mind. I could see this going south so quickly.

“So, this is how you do it?” My voice came out as a rasp as I looked at the pills as if they were my doom. “You guys… harvest cores from each other?”

“That’s the fastest way to advance your Totem,” Ash said. He clapped me on the shoulder, and I jumped. I had been so busy staring at the little cores that I hadn’t realized he’d moved that close. “There’s no need to look like someone took a shit on your morning bread and called it butter, Seth. That’s not the only way.”

“But that’s what you want me to do,” I clarified. Oh shit, had I just blithely walked into the forest with some guy who thought harvesting cores from people was okay? Expected, even?

My hands weren’t clean — especially during the hard times on Earth — but I’d never looted corpses.

Moving into a dead guy’s home before the rental Corp in charge could clear it didn’t count. Probably.

“I want you to take the path that’s best for you,” Ash said. “But yes, these people are already dead. It would be a damned shame to let their cores go to waste. Crying over it isn’t going to bring them back.” He looked at me for a moment, searchingly. “I wouldn’t be worried just yet. You’re too weak to interest the real killers.”

That shocked some sense into me. My hands closed over the cores as I let my fist drop. “I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about — Look, if this shit is so potent, other people have to know, right? Do people regularly kill others for their cores?”

Ash smiled. “The Deformed are killing for these cores, Seth. Though their minds are usually so far gone they don’t know to harvest them. At least at the lower levels.”

Then he let out a sigh. “Strictly speaking, to kill for a core is forbidden, though when has that ever stopped someone determined enough? Out here in the lower-level areas, these cores are so weak there’s no point. Even the city we’re traveling to is a low-energy zone, though it’ll be fine for you. Once you reach a higher level, you’ll be able to defend yourself.”

That made me feel both better and worse.

So. Great. Killing others for their cores was a thing. And if I was going to follow this path… sooner or later, I’d find someone who advanced that way.

My attention was caught by the corpse of the non-Deformed man. The one who Ash had pulled the first core from. He’d had either a stag or a goat Totem judging by the face and antler buds. He hadn’t been very powerful, though.

“Will consuming the core of a different animal affect me?”

Ash smiled as if I had just passed an important test. “That’s why you filter even pure cores — though the filtration is much easier. You simply don’t swallow and continue your day.” He pointed at my closed fist. “Consuming that is a commitment until it’s gone. Your energy is now aspected to that of a goose, so if you consume another bird core, or even better, another waterfowl, filtering will be a breeze.”

Feeling a little ill, I looked at the cores. “So, this is how I advance?”

He laughed. “Fuck no. It’s a boost, don’t get me wrong. But most people hunt actual monsters.”

Then his face blanked.

“What?” I asked, wondering what was wrong now.

Heaving a breath, Ash shook his head. “I just remembered I’m in the ass-end of nowhere. You don’t have mana-monsters around here, do you?”

“Uh… no?”

“Ever heard of them?”

“No?” I repeated though hope was starting to rekindle in my heart.

“Wow, kid. No wonder you looked so green. Cores are universal. In normal places — as in not here — animals develop their own cores naturally. Some are peaceful. Most grow belligerent and crazed with time and must be culled.”

My eyes felt like they were going to cross. “Wait, so do animals have… uh, people Totems?”

Ash burst out laughing and I just waited silently, thinking he was a real asshole. If I ever mentored anyone from sticks-ville, I wouldn’t laugh at them for simple questions.

“No, the animal is already pure. Pure path, get it?” Again, Ash clapped me on the shoulder.

And, apparently thinking that he had done a stand-up job answering my questions, went around to harvest the rest of the cores. By the time we were done, he had four pure and five Deformed. He dropped them in my hand with a wink. “Don’t tell me I never gave you nothing.”

I was still iffy if I wanted to eat these. Though I was glad that the pills I had eaten as a kid may not have come from a person.

“You really don’t want these?” I asked.

Ash smiled like a predator. “Nah, it's too low level for me. I have richer food, Kid.”

**

Considering we’d confirmed Deformed running around in the woods, I was a little worried about Annika and Russel. Thankfully, they were fine. Russel had gotten the ostriches unhitched and they were pecking around with hobbles on. Annika had started a small campfire and was boiling water for tea over it. Pretty industrious of her considering she was wearing a flammable veil and she had to be healing.

“I didn’t tell you to set up camp,” Ash grumped, but then added, “Though I suppose I could use some tea.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Annika murmured.

She went about quickly pouring myself and Ash a cup. The smell wafting out of the tea was divine. Seriously, the woman had blended the herbs perfectly and, it seemed, added a pinch of sugar. Somehow, she knew my tea preferences. I suspected that had been my mother’s doing from… before.

Frowning, I thanked her and tried not to stare too hard at the flashes of her hands and arms as they peeked out from under her veil. Some of her wounds still had visible stitches.

The girl should be in bed, not serving me tea out in the middle of the woods. Aside from it being super messed up, I already owed her for failing to protect her. It was an obligation I would never be able to fulfill.

Unless…

An idea occurred to me, and my hand fell over my pocket where I kept the pills.

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