The Nature of Predators - Sovlin’s Transcript (4/13) (Patreon)

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Memory transcription subject: Srissi, Verin Exchange Participant

Date [standardized human time]: March 14, 2138

Standing by the docking station, with Verin and Onkari diplomats who already acclimated to humans there to assure us and oversee the civilian program, I could feel the tension building all the same. I knew Samantha Harris, the Terran ex-soldier I spoke to on voice calls, was a predator; I had always known. I wanted to tell myself that this would be easy enough, that billions of other sapients had gotten used to the binocular-eyed primates. That didn’t stop a shudder from running through my iridescent exoskeleton, at the thought of sitting next to her; the fear was building the more I contemplated it.

It is Sam. You know her. She won’t hurt you. Humans didn’t hurt any of these diplomats; every last one lived to tell the tale. In two years, they would’ve slipped up if they weren’t truly creatures with restraint and compassion.

I’d listened to descriptions of exchange partners first meeting their human counterpart to prepare myself, hearing the petrifying words through my audio headband. It had been with the hopes of steeling myself as they disembarked en masse; I had made myself wait by the transport shuttle, rather than hide away in my room. The Terrans were wearing nametags with Verin writing on their pelts, though seeing a whole pack of them filtering into the station was like a horror film. Their heads swiveled every which way—searching for their partners. 

That was it. 

This wasn’t as bad as the stories said, to feel like death was imminent and my heart would explode. I looked for a “Sam,” remembering how my friend described herself as short auburn hair.

“Sam?” I called, pleased to keep my voice steady. So what if she was a hunter that ate flesh? It would be…fine. “It’s me, Srissi.”

My puzzlement grew when I failed to locate my human friend. I waited as the last few Terrans trickled out of the bus, and noticed one female figure shuffling unwillingly onto the platform. Her auburn hair stopped about halfway down her neck; the pale skin and sharp green eyes, which seemed like they could cut through steel. I waved a leg at her, calling her name and trying to show enthusiasm. Her pupils jerked toward me in a way that was uncontrolled and frantic, giving me pause. Was Sam struggling with predator instincts? The other Terrans seemed fine, but I knew she wasn’t in a good emotional state; she looked wild and dangerous.

“Sam?” I asked, more hesitantly.

The human cleared her throat, pressing a tight fist over her lips and taking a deep breath. “Hi, Srissi. Give me a moment.”

“Are you…okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” Sam lowered her fist to her side and stretched her palm; I noticed the light shake in her fingers. It was almost like she was trying to refrain from grabbing me, and she was acting very different from on the phone. Maybe I should be worried, or at least signal the other humans to ask if she was safe to be around. “There’s a lot of Verin out here. You’re…quite big and shadowy. Ugh, what am I doing? It’s n-nice to meet you. Yeah.”

I forced myself to stand my ground as the predator walked toward me, keeping her distance. She was avoiding pointing her binocular eyes at me, and her head was bowed down in a submissive posture. She held her lanky arms close to her body, as if forming a shield in front of herself. I noticed her reddish lips curve up in that infamous smile, though it was wobbly and forced. There was water forming on her eyelids; was the effort of reeling herself in hurting her? If Sam was struggling, she needed to admit it.

The fact that she has an impulse that is that strong is worrying. The internal struggle is written all over her face. I need to wind her down and remind her that I’m her friend, appeal to her compassion. 

“It’s me, Srissi. You…don’t have to pretend you’re not going through something n-now. I’m here for you.” Hoping to ground the increasingly wide-eyed primate, who was making me feel very concerned, I reached out with a leg to touch her elbow. “Just—”

The human screamed in a high-pitched register when I touched her, jumping backward as if I’d set her on fire. Samantha crashed into the chest of a larger predator who was walking behind her, which sent them both tumbling to the ground. All eyes, including binocular ones, were on this scene. I worried that the duo were going to fight, though the male dusted himself off; he went to check that my friend was okay. I stared at my grasper in confusion, reconsidering what was wrong with the primate. She’d jumped like I electrocuted her, then released a scream of terror and panicked on an impulse that seemed like fleeing. Was the predator afraid of me?!

I never considered the laughable idea that an apex predator was struggling not with the urge to attack, but with the prey voice that screamed to get away at all costs. It clicked in my head why the humans avoided the Verin; for some reason, they feared us. I couldn’t imagine the reason, given that we had no natural weapons and hadn’t perfected killing techniques like them. It wasn’t that we were once omnivores, given that they were the least likely species in the galaxy to care about that. Samantha seemed to be freaking out, sucking in deep breaths and trying to temper her emotions.

The predator who was bumped into tilted his head. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. I feel like such an idiot. I’m so sorry,” she sputtered to the male human. “I’m just…creeped out to the bone. Not by you!”

I burst out laughing, pointing a leg at Samantha. “Oh my paradise! You’re afraid of us. You—”

“Don’t laugh at me! I thought I could handle it better, but the little fucking hairs on your arm sent goosebumps shooting up my arm. You had to touch me.”

“You never told me that you were afraid of us! It never would’ve crossed my mind, Sam. Why on Combai would humans fear us?”

“A lot of people are scared of insects, especially giant ones; I think you’re cool though!” the unfamiliar male exclaimed. “I’m Trevor O’Brien. I hear in your accent that you’re a fellow Aussie, so you should be used to everything up to venomous spiders. Big shiny beetles are nothing compared to that!”

“I wouldn’t let nonsapient insects walk up to me. I apologize, Srissi, giant bugs just tickle something in our brains and—I didn’t want you to know. I joined because I wanted to…get the hell over it. I shouldn’t let that control me like some fucking Feddie; I’ll be fine.”

Trevor pointed at her forehead. “You’re not fine. You have a welt growing right between your eyes. Least I can do is take you to the medical bay and get you patched up.”

“Let’s not make a big fuss. You have your own partner to meet—”

“He asked for a moment. I didn’t dodge you fast enough, so sorry about that! But this will give me something to do, and this is the perfect opportunity to make new friends. I’m crashing your exchange meetup for a moment; I’ll get you through this!”

“You’re way too cheery. I don’t trust happy and bubbly people,” Sam grumbled.

I snickered at the human, who scowled; I could see a discolored lump forming in her skin which looked nasty. “I vote for Trevor to stick around. I can’t corral you if you stampede away.”

My exchange partner’s binocular eyes focused straight on me with hostile intent, tightening my chest. “I am not going to stampede!”

“Why would you? You’re way scarier than me.”

“How? I have two legs and you have…too many!”

“So much for getting over your fears.”

“Oh, fuck you!”

Trevor chuckled. “Damn, fiery words. That’s how you talk to your exchange partner?”

“It’s how she talks to everyone,” I commented.

“I guess I can’t ever get on your bad side. Energy and spirit, a streak of irreverence: I like that! You’re going to have to tell me more about you, Sam, because you have my full attention.”

I expected Samantha to backtalk the other human, but she gave him a look that seemed smitten: that had my suspicions piqued. “It’s rare to meet someone who actually…likes that. What do you want to know?”

“Hm. Why don’t we start with what you’d like me—sorry, a dreamy man to cook you for dinner tonight?”

“I like mystery, uh…but we can’t just ditch our exchange partners.”

I snickered at Samantha. “Don’t use me as an excuse. You’re going, and I’m getting all the gossip and juicy details.”

“My partner will need time to recharge anyway! It’ll work for everyone involved, don’t you worry!” Trevor said cheerily.

Meeting the predator who I’d been speaking to over the voice call had gone nothing like I thought, but after feeling like she’d be alone forever after Michael Harris’ death, I thought a romantic date that’d make her feel special might be good for her. Sam needed some of that bubbly happiness that she didn’t trust. Besides, now that I knew the reason the humans seemed to avoid the Verin, it might be good to give her some space. Somehow, I was handling this smoother than my binocular-eyed counterpart. Of all the emotions that I had considered that predators might have, this was the most surprising…and the most disarming.

With my final reservations about the Terrans alleviated, I was looking forward to how the continuation of our friendship might play out.

Memory transcription subject: Sovlin, Gojid Retiree

Date [standardized human time]: May 2, 2151

“And that’s how we met! Our kids call Srissi ‘Aunt Srissi;’ she and Sam have yearly meetups, alternating planets,” Trevor finished, tacking on the hastiest epilogue I’d ever heard.

I narrowed my eyes at the camera. “Sam, I would’ve helped you. You wouldn’t have been the first full-grown adult to move here for life.”

Hunter dumped the last crumbs of a pretzel bag into his mouth, before shaking the empty plastic at me. “I can’t make it on my own in the 22nd century! We need more pretzels, Dad.”

“We? That implies that I get to eat any of them,” I spat. “See, Sam? You can’t make my life worse. I would’ve had a spectacular time watching you be afraid of the Verin; it was hilarious with the Tilfish, seeing you squeamish—after all you made fun of me! And seriously, I’m happy you turned things around. I know how grief can consume you.”

Samantha yawned, stretching her arms out over her head. “Well, now you’re not the only one with your feelings laid out for dissection. In another timeline, we would’ve fucking given up, and neither of us would be here. There was a lot of good that came from turning shit around, Baldy, and don’t you ever forget it.”

“Humans calling me bald and not seeing the irony; your backs are much balder. Why don’t I get to call you that? Or Patches?”

“Because Patches sounds like we’re quitting nicotine,” Tyler commented helpfully.

Vysith turned her snout back toward us. “Sovlin had worse insults for you than Baldy, anyway. Always about the eyes.”

I was quiet for a long moment, contemplating Samantha’s story. I’d known the suffering she felt during the war with Carlos, and I remember how she reacted on then-Venlil Prime after the bombing: wrathful and furious. There was a lot of myself in the female primate, and it had been calming to hear her story. I wish I had known how serious her suffering was, but with Sam pushing us all away, it would’ve been difficult to see the truth. It felt odd to hear earlier that she felt that I had paid for my crimes and turned my life around. After hearing vivid retellings of my old Federation shipmates, I realized that I’d only faced justice for what I’d done to Marcel. I’d never made amends for the harm I caused to my crew and my people. 

I deserted the personnel on my ship, leaving them to fend for themselves. The least I could do was track down the individuals who’d been influenced by me in the old days and apologize. I knew full well, even without skipping ahead to my final stretch in the captain’s chair, that the list started with Rumi. Had I listened to the comms technician who heard the truth, in the Terrans’ radio chatter, billions might have lived. What had become of the young Gojid who wanted to talk to them, believing they might stand down and show mercy?

“I have a…request for a birthday gift, if Tyler and Sam still have connections,” I mused. “Can I give you a list of people, and you help me track them down? I want full closure for past Sovlin’s wrongs.”

Tyler pursed his lips. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“I lost my entire planet, in large part due to my own actions. I never fully addressed that, and it’s not right. I did move on, but I don’t know that…the sapients I hurt did. It’s enough guilt to bear the burden of what happened to Marcel and Slanek. I’d like to at least…know what became of the people around me back then. Like I did with Sam.”

Samantha blinked her eyes sleepily. “I’ll see what I can do, but not tonight. I have a bed and a warm blanket calling my name. Happy Birthday, Baldy.”

“Good night, predator,” I grumbled.

I sat on the couch in a bit of a stupor, as Samantha clicked off and my friends suggested a celebration. The pain of reliving my time as a torturer had subsided, though it had showed me that I hadn’t moved on fully from my checkered past. The memory transcripts might be therapeutic in a way, and thus have been a beneficial undertaking. It’d encouraged me to learn the stories of those I had long forgotten, and having that subconscious liberation might be the greatest gift I could give to myself.

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A/N - We conclude Sam’s story (a character I always thought should be explored deeper) with learning how Srissi learned humans were afraid of the Verin, and the fateful run-in with Trevor. Sovlin then reacts to the story by suggesting he never would’ve abandoned Sam, and also decides that he wants to learn more about what happened to old crew and other people from his past: starting with Rumi. How do you think the comms tech who wanted to talk to humans has gotten on with life, and how will Rumi react to Sovlin? What do you think of Sam finding a friend in Srissi?

As always, thank you for reading and supporting!