The Nature of Predators - Star Crossed (5/?) (Patreon)

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Memory Transcription Subject: Kelvanis, Kolshian Asylum Seeker

Date [standardized human time]: January 5, 2150

In the human’s absence, I began to notice how famished I was; my stomach rumbled for a morsel, though I knew impatience wouldn’t bring Chloe back any sooner. Part of me was hoping it’d take her a while to navigate the food halls up here. I paced across the room, questioning how I was going to live on Earth if I couldn’t handle the most unassuming Terran imaginable. Maybe my sister’s warnings about what the predators could do had gotten into my head, despite my awareness that they were nonsense. I considered punching the mattress, if only to expend those feelings in a flash of rage. However, the primate would be at a loss, walking into that sight; while I was steaming at my unyielding nerves, I didn’t want to cause any damage to her place of residence.

The last thing I want is to hurt Chloe by treating her like a monster. We were enjoying our time together—she’s finally opening up to me—and now, I’m going to ruin it because I can’t control my brain, like some animal. If I can’t get a grip, maybe Kolshians really aren’t sapient.

I was wringing my tentacles in front of myself when the human returned, balancing an oval-shaped plate on her elbow. Politeness took over, and I propped open the door as she entered. I’d thought the anxiety was starting to subside, but it rose up anew as she strolled within inches of where I stood. Chloe’s eyes sparkled, while she settled down on the carpet. My throat felt dry when she patted the floor beside her; I managed to plop myself down next to her, even though I was weak-kneed. Distracting myself with the food, I grabbed a handful of tree nuts and dried berries. The Terran flavors were unique, melting into my taste buds.

Chloe grabbed some triangular cracker, running it through a green dip. Flecks of the nourishment smeared by the corner of her lip, though she didn’t seem aware of it. Without thinking, I reached out to brush it away with a tentacle. My touch was as gentle as I could make it, like she was a fragile thing that might break with a push. A breathtaking jolt rippled up to my heart, causing my breath to hitch; the world was becoming a fuzzy haze, as our skin connected. That knee-jerk response was bizarre, if I was frightened of her. My fury at myself began to dissipate, musing over my own contradictory responses.

“Try it,” she said, running a grainy chip through the dip and holding it toward my mouth. I parted my lips to accept the offering, feeling my eyes light up with pleasure; the healthy fats and starches blended together perfectly. “What did you think? Did I do alright with the food search?”

I plucked another cracker for myself, scooping up the green spread. “This is heavenly, Chloe. The mush is moist and flavorful, but the salt and grains elevate the flavor profile; it feels like it puts all the minerals in one, and you want to keep shoveling it down.”

“I guess guacamole is the perfect party snack for Kolshians too! I don’t know much about vegetarian food, so I tried to just go with the classics.”

“To be real with you, I’d move to Earth just for this. Wow. If all predator food pops this much, I see why you wouldn’t quit your standard diet.”

“I assume by ‘predator food,’ you mean meat?”

“Hm?” I paused mid-bite, realizing the oversight in my word choice. I really wasn’t thinking clearly, and I had to figure out why. “I’m sorry, I meant no offense! Humans don’t like or use those words; I should’ve known better. It’s an oddity to me, but I have no problem with what you are…I mean, with what you eat.”

Chloe grinned. “Relax, Kelvan, I’m not upset. You probably want to ask about that, since it was at the heart of Federation ideology, but you’re worried about offending me. I don’t mind answering whatever you want to know.”

“Okay then. Here goes. What do you personally think about, you know…other species fearing humans for being predators? Seeing you foremost as a predator?”

“How the Federation sees me is a little mind-boggling. It’s not something I’d ever think of myself as. It’s not like I’ve ever gone out hunting, or like I have some big fangs and claws.”

“But you could hunt, right? If something happened and you had to.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Kelvan, if I was dropped out in the woods with no electricity, holopad service, or basic amenities, not having a clue how to get back to civilization—I doubt I’d make it a week. It’s a very good thing I was born in this time period.”

“Same here. Hard as life is on Aafa, I can’t imagine being stuck in the wilds, with none of the advancements we have today. Running water. Public transit. A warm place to sleep.”

“Then I hate to tell you, but I think camping just might not be your thing.”

“Camping?”

“It’s how some humans like to take getaways. Venturing far out into the great outdoors with nothing more than tents and a fire. There’s people who could survive in the woods, and who see it as a good time.”

I downed another guacamole-coated chip to buy some time to gather my thoughts; it was taking longer than normal to digest information and decide how I felt about it. I’d never heard about this “camping” hobby in my research on humans, though it made sense that they wouldn’t publicize the topic. Others would use pastimes like that as an excuse to brand them as wild predators, still clinging to the barbarism of primitive times. Rather than branding it as an uncivilized release, I tried to assess what benefits Terrans might derive from the practice. It might be useful for me to identify those considerations, in order to determine the closest thing Kolshians had to it.

These humans are out in nature, away from modern comforts. Perhaps they like that simple experience, free of distractions, to focus on the world around them.

“I think I understand,” I decided, hoping my interpretation was unprejudiced. “Kolshians have a practice of visiting places of solitude, with some sort of beautiful vista. It can be as simple as centering yourself on the stars outside; letting life’s troubles flow away. Calming the mind is something we consider vital to maintaining personal well-being.”

Chloe tilted her head. “Nature meditation.”

“Yes. We would keep nature journals, just describing the smallest details we experience. It makes you notice things you never would’ve thought of, otherwise. One of the last things I ever did with my father was sit on a hillside, when he tried to journal with me and Volani. Back then, we just wanted to get it over with.”

“There’s no need to feel guilty about that, Kelvan. Kids don’t tend to slow down and soak it all in, or to realize the gifts they have.”

“Oh, I know. Still, I get what he was teaching us now. I would love to keep a journal, in his memory, but Kolshians don’t exactly have time to escape to places of solitude these days. You know how you asked what I’d do, if I made it to Earth?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe it’d be that. I’d find somewhere pretty and just sit there. I’d write about all the lovely things I could see in your world until I’d filled up far too many pages.”

“There’s no reason to wait. Why don’t we try it now? You said the stars are a potential vista. I could really use hearing a little of what you see.”

“Well, okay, but we’re facing away from the viewport.”

“We’ll move, silly. C’mon.”

Chloe set the empty platter on the floor, and hopped to her feet. Her fingers wrapped around my wrist, hauling me to a standing position and dragging me after her. I chuckled at her enthusiasm, more than willing to accompany her, even as it wreaked havoc on my insides. The pieces of why I’d feel afraid of her, yet act the opposite of the Federation’s instincts, finally fell into place. I fancied her, didn’t I? It would’ve clicked sooner, if she wasn’t from a binocular-eyed species that I’d been taught was repulsive to us on an instinctual level. Volani would be horrified, if I told her that I’d fallen for a predator.

I wish I realized the actual problem sooner. That’s something I know how to deal with. Chloe just wants a friend; she was frightened of you not too long ago. She’s special and fun to spend time with, so let’s nip those what-ifs in the bud.

I laughed, amused that I’d thought I was afraid of the human, when the nerves were a result of quite the opposite.

“What is it?” Chloe asked, a quizzical look in her gorgeous brown eyes.

“It’s nothing.” I settled down beside her, and sucked in a sharp breath as she rested her head on my shoulder. “I’m just thinking about how most Kolshians would find it hard to live on Earth. The vast majority of people evolved a…disgust response to binocular eyes, because of a damn plague.”

“But not you?”

“Not me. I felt a little fear at first, but it was more mental than biological. I’m broken, very broken, I guess.”

“Don’t say that. For what it’s worth, I think it’s everyone else who are the broken ones. If hating someone by default is normal, do you even want to be fixed?”

“Definitely not. I’m glad that I feel anything but hate for you, Chloe.” That was flirty, Kelvan—especially dropping your voice to a whisper at the end. Knock it off, before you ruin this. She wanted to look at the stars. “Sorry for getting distracted. Um, so why do you feel like it’d be helpful for you, hearing my descriptions of the stars? Comparing how we see the world, or…”

“This is my first time visiting space, and I feel like a fish out of water. It looks bleak and empty to me; even the stars are meager specks of light. How can you not feel unease, staring at a void that’s cold and unending? How can you feel like you belong here?”

“Oh, the stars are anything but empty. Think of the stars like a fire when you’re camping, giving light and warmth in the greatest wilderness. Because of them, there’s life everywhere you look. That infinite void is teeming with living beings and plant growth, similar and unique all at the same time! Each of those ‘specks’ shines down in the sky of a planet somewhere—like Sol or our Haf.”

“Haf. I didn’t know your star’s name. I thought they were calling it a half-system or something.”

“Nope, that’s its name; also the source of the hafflower’s name—it glows in the dark—but you don’t want to hear me nerd about flowers. Anyway, just think about how much life there is in our corner of the galaxy, and how it’s barely a wave in the stellar ocean. Would you call a field with flower patches everywhere you look empty? We are those patches, and we’re able to find others. Here in space, you’re in good company. You’re not alone.”

“Somehow, I feel like you could make anything sound beautiful and alive,” she murmured.

“My descriptive abilities only go so far. You can’t compare everything to flowers, and in those cases, I’d be shit out of luck.”

Chloe laughed. “You’re something, Kelvan, you…sorry if this is a dumb question, but what even are you?”

“I thought we’ve been over this. I’m a talking chair.”

The human rammed a fist playfully against my arm. “No, really!”

“We’re nature’s weirdos—something I imagine humans can relate to—but we’re technically classed as cetaceans…marine mammals. Don’t feel bad if you thought I’m some kind of amphibian; it’s a common mistake. We are descended from amphibians, but somewhere down the line, we’d evolved into mammals. And no, I don’t know why we’re the only land walkers that bear resemblance to cephalopods. We’re an anomaly.”

“I’m supposed to gloss over the fact you lumped us into the ‘nature’s weirdos’ category?”

“Pfft. You already know that. If you humans haven’t gotten that message from all of this, I can’t help you.”

“Other than the eye whites, not having a tail, and furlessness, what’s that weird about us?”

“You bare your teeth to show you’re happy.”

“Okay, that’s one thing. What else?”

“You’re gonna make me list everything? Well, let’s see: you have to burn flesh to eat it, unlike every other predator. You exude ridiculous amounts of sweat to cool off, which is why people call you oily. Your face turns the color of your blood with your emotions. Oh, and this might be a rumor, but you can throw things in a split second with pinpoint accuracy.”

“No, that’s true. Want a demonstration?”

“Sure.”

Chloe hopped to her feet, retrieving a single berry left on the plate. “Stand up, Kelvan, turn to face me, and open your mouth nice and wide.”

Curious, I rose to my feet; there was a mattress of distance between Chloe and I. The human held a berry between her fingers, flexing her wrist to test out the weight of it. I was a bit skeptical of the stories that her ancestors dominated by throwing sticks to impale animals, often from great distances; it would make sense if they had some kind of tool to help. I kept my mouth parted, grasping what she intended to do. She lobbed the berry through the air in a perfect arc; I tracked it, only having to move my head ever so slightly to catch it between my teeth. The Terran pumped her fist in the air in a victory dance, as I crushed the fruit with my molars.

For a human that says she’d be incapable of hunting, I think even Chloe could, if she can translate that to heavier objects. I don’t think she’s actually aware of what this ability is a relic of, but it’s nice to see her happy,

“I guess that’s ‘weird.’ It’s cool to be human, actually,” she said. “Thank you for not only mentioning predator stuff. Our quirks can be as fun as playing ‘catch the berry’ too.”

“That was the most fun I’ve ever had eating fruit; I’ll say that much.” Don’t tell her why she can do that. It doesn’t matter—not to me, anyway. “I’m afraid I can’t pull that off in reverse. You’ll have to be the cool one.”

“You’re way cooler than me. You’re suave, intelligent, philosophical…resilient. You have a kind of strength and confidence that is captivating. I don’t think I have enjoyed anyone’s company the way I’ve felt with you today.”

My heart ached, as those words all but teased my eager ears. “Same, Chloe. I’m very glad that I could be the first alien you met. I want to be special to you.”

“You already are. I’m not sure what you meant by that.”

I stared at Chloe in silence, not knowing how much longer I could hold back my feelings; it seemed wrong to blurt out how much I yearned to be special to her, especially if it would make her feel uncomfortable…if it would push her away.  Wasn’t it weird to feel so drawn to someone who was helping me out of kindness, and who I’d only known for a few hours? Granted, those were several of the best hours of my life, but that was no matter. The right thing to do was not to sour the evening because of my haywire brain, and to let her enjoy a little peace and quiet after a stressful day. It was getting late, and I needed to find my way to the visitors’ area sooner or later.

“Poor choice of words, I guess. You have no idea how happy it makes me that I’m someone you’ll remember.” I scurried toward the door, in spite of how that caused the twinge in my chest to deepen. I had to get out of here, before I said something stupid. “Thank you so much for having me over, but I’d best be going now. I think we both can use some sleep.”

“Oh?” Chloe responded. “Er, yeah, of course. I wouldn’t keep you, if you’re ready to head out, but I’ll definitely miss having you around. I had a great time with you today, Kelvan.”

“Likewise. I hate that we have to go our separate ways too, but I’ll be thinking about you.” A lot. Nonstop. Fuck. “Bye then. Good night.”

“Good night.”

I jogged the rest of the way, like the carpet was burning my feet; I was desperate to get out of the room. How could Chloe think that I was suave, after I’d bumbled over my words multiple times since we got here? I hoped there wasn’t disappointment in her gaze, like when I’d withdrawn when she patted my arm. That had been a stupid reaction too. My eyes sealed shut to block her from my periphery; it was driving me mad to depart, after hearing that she’d miss my company. I exhaled for the first time when my arm reached the door handle, and I began to tug it open. Just before I could make a clean getaway, the human’s voice called out to me.

“Oh, dammit. Wait!” Chloe hissed. “Kelvan…do you feel it too? The spark between us?”

I froze, caught off guard by the direct question. “I…um…yes. I hope I’m not misinterpreting what you mean, but yes. Chloe de Vries, I am madly, illogically, hopelessly in love with you.”

“Wow. Okay, I…I had to know. Now I do. I thought I was imagining it.”

“You’re not. My heart skipped a beat, hearing that question. I didn’t realize that it was mutual: that it could be mutual.”

“It is. I’ve never met anyone as sweet and radiant as you.”

“That’s because you can’t meet yourself.” I opened my eyes long enough to catch a glimpse, noticing her cheeks were redder than ever before. “I don’t know where we go from here, but that’s okay. You somehow made my evening even happier than it was before. I’ll be thinking—”

“Don’t go, Kelvan. Stay here.”

My mind began racing at an even more frantic pace, as my heart begged for me to blindly agree. I had come here in search of asylum, but I never would’ve imagined that I’d feel like I belonged at a human’s side. Hearing Chloe ask me to remain here, I didn’t know how I could refuse. My arm slipped off of the door handle, and I swiveled back to face her; how it must feel to hold her in my arms, and to see her toothy smile facing back at me. With any willpower to leave long since evaporated, I gave in to the unstoppable force drawing me toward the predator. My asylum status, guards finding me up here, or our lack of long term prospects: none of it mattered. As long as we were together now, tomorrow’s concerns could wait until tomorrow. 

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A/N - Part 5! We get some brand new Kolshian lore, from the Haf system’s name, nature journaling as a response to camping, Kolshians’ cetacean ancestry, and how Kelvanis is missing the standard disgust response to predatory features. Chloe shares some Terran food with him and they look at the stars together, while Kelvan realizes his nervousness isn’t prejudice against humans, but a crush on his caseworker. As our narrator tries to leave and stop himself from admitting his feelings, Chloe calls after him to profess her own, asking him to stay.

Will their newfound passion for each other result in consequences for Kelvanis’ asylum bid and his treatment on the station? Do you support the two becoming a long-term couple…and do you think they can make it?

As always, thank you for reading and supporting!