Immortal Freeloader 41 (Patreon)

I was excited when the darkness finally arrived. Once I reached my room, I checked a dozen times to make sure there was no one around before I finally pulled it off, trying to read the scrap parchment. 

It was an interesting experience. It looked like a bunch of meaningless scribbles that nonetheless hurt me just by looking at it. I might have even treated it as a practical joke if I didn’t receive the System return, confirming it as a genuine article. 

Then, I noticed that every time I looked, I saw a different pattern. Like it wasn’t confusing enough. 

Of course, there were many problems. Cultivators were rare. Ridiculously rare. And, if they were simply recruited from the rich and powerful, or kept insular, that would be easy to understand. But that wasn’t the case. There were enough stories about the sects picking a random orphan as a disciple, claiming fate and talent to suggest that cultivation required a rare talent. But, whether such talent only made things easier or actually critical, was harder to access. 

If that was the case, I doubted that it would help. 

Then, there was the other problem. The parchment was missing a lot of critical information, to the point that even multiplying it ten times didn’t complete it. Not that I blamed the Queen, as even a scrap was a treasure. 

Cultivation information was not something that could be purchased at the market. 

It was even more true for the improved version that was safely resting in my Inventory, but I dared not to remove it yet. Instead, I kept reading, hoping to find out something. After all, I was able to improve easily when reading Tiger Fist. 

… Then, I remembered a critical detail. I had improved because I had received a very valuable pill from the cultivator, which then had been improved by my biggest multiplier yet. And, with my advanced apothecary knowledge, I had no idea how expensive the original pill was. But, I had a feeling that both Elsana and Marana would be willing to sell everything they owned for it, and still think that they profited from the deal. 

I highly doubted I would be able to receive an equivalent pill for cultivation talent easily, and that assumed that they existed in the first place. No, that seemed like an unwise process. 

That didn’t prevent me from spending the whole night, trying to understand despite the painful headache. And failed, utterly and completely. 

The next day, while I brought her the breakfast, I decided to pull another risky trick. “Please thank the Queen for her generosity,” I said. “It helped more than I could ever imagine. I saw a Thousand Petals while reading that endlessly.” 

“Really,” she said, her shock palpable. “How!” 

I had only planned to impress her slightly by faking some understanding by giving the impression of the name. Unfortunately, her reaction showed that it was a bigger problem than I had realized. “Just an impression. Thousands of petals, dance in the wind. I felt that it was very similar to my Forest Dance,” I said, trying to undervalue my achievement and create a valid excuse for my comprehension at the same time. 

It looked like my quick adjustment worked well, and she lost some of her shock. “Remove the talisman, and give me your hand,” she said. I did, trusting her not to harm me. From my impression, the biggest danger was for her to lose her pity. 

The moment I removed it, I felt the subtle energy against my essence once more. 

I didn’t expect to feel anything, which was why I was surprised to feel the slightest movement in my essence like something barged through one of the eight gates. It was a subtle shuffle, like a whisper, but it felt much different than the corrupt energy that infected.

I had a feeling that, the only reason I was able to even feel that was the extreme awareness I had of my essence due to a combination of my martial talent, and multiple martial arts. 

Whatever she had been searching for, she didn’t find. When she stopped, I put the talisman back on. 

Just like that, pity returned to her beautiful blue eyes. “So, it helped you to comprehend your martial art better. The Queen would love to hear her gift worked,” she said. 

“Do you mind explaining some more,” I said as I pulled it. “Maybe it can help me comprehend my martial arts further. Maybe I can even recover completely,” I declared passionately even as I smiled.

The smile was one I practiced many times, one that gave an excellent combination of boyish charm and attractiveness, which tickled both the maternal instincts and sex drive of a bored middle-aged housewife. I had used that exact expression to coax several expensive gifts, including a beautiful convertible back in my world. 

Against a Queen who was under house arrest, starved out of human contact, the impact was even more intense. 

“Maybe,” she said with the attitude of a kind teacher, promising to her student that Santa promised to visit the next year with double presents. Clearly, she didn’t believe that it would help to cure me. 

Yet, she had nothing to do. “Never reveal even a word to anyone,” she said. 

“Of course. My lips are sealed,” I promised. 

“Thousand Petals Meditation is a wondrous technique that requires years of dedicated practice to even begin to understand. It takes its name from the way it gathers Qi motes around the practitioner. By forcing them to dance in a cycle, the practitioner could identify the exact type of mote they require and avoid taking an unwanted one …” she started. 

That started a long lesson, half of it filled with philosophies and other stuff, but none of them meant the slightest thing to me. Either she was a terrible teacher, or my lack of talent was even worse than I presumed. 

“And, that’s all I could tell you about Thousand Petals Meditation. I hope it has been useful,” she said. 

[Pity Bonus - 10 (Capped)]

[10x Return - Thousand Petals Meditation Technique Lesson, Beginner]

“Oh, believe me, madam. It has been very helpful. Let me show you,” I said as I once again took the stance, and went through the Forest Dance. I started displaying the competence of Major Accomplishment at first, but as I showed, I visibly increased both my competency and the intensity of my Essence, a level of improvement that would require months for another martial artist.

”Impressive. Maybe I should tell you more,” she said. 

“Later,” I said. “It would be rude of me to delay her Highness’ lunch for my personal errands.” 

No harm buttering her up while she was disguised. 

Once I returned, I made sure to take a little break and visited my room before triggering the System reward. I still had some time to visit the kitchen, and I wanted to see if the enhanced lesson worked as well as I had hoped. 

I closed my eyes, sat on the bed, and triggered the information, waiting for it, fingers crossed. 

The understanding flooded my mind, along with the ability to manipulate Qi … but that didn’t give me the ability to sense it. In a way, it felt like having a ghost limb after amputation. 

Unsettling. 

Not that I was complaining. I realized that without the System turning the information I received into a nice bundle, I wouldn’t have understood it, no matter how much the Queen explained. 

No wonder she felt pity. She must have assumed that I had some kind of super comprehension, but wasted due to my inability. 

I ignored her decision-making, and pulled out the parchment once again, trying to understand what was written. This time, it worked better … slightly. It was still not easy. I felt like trying to read something, but everything but vowels had been erased thoroughly. 

Still, an improvement. 

I realized that, without the assistance of the System, I could have never started it. And, if cultivation talent was as rare as everything implied, no wonder cultivators were as rare as Bigfoot. I studied a bit more before I waved my hand in surrender. 

Technically, I might receive some benefits from the scrap, but not in a timescale that would matter. Maybe months, maybe years… 

No, it was much easier to convince the Queen to continue giving me lessons. After all, she was bored enough to treat that as entertainment. The only problem … the return was limited. Seducing her to trigger the Pampering effect was tempting, but ultimately, it wouldn’t be very efficient. 

Teaching her was tempting, but I was afraid that helping her train would make her feel like it was an equal exchange, which would ruin the opportunity. 

But, my experience with Marana gave me another excuse. Helping her was an option. She just needed to think that the source was different. 

All I needed was a convenient disguise to teach her martial arts.