All Aboard the Bang Bus! (Crossover) Chapter 6 (Patreon)

Chapter 6: Pickle Bus VI: Morty Guy Edition

Rick Sanchez was busy tinkering in his garage. He was always making something new and exciting. The latest toy he was making was no different. Not that that wasn't unusual, but this device was special.

The rest of the Smith family was sitting together eating breakfast. Rick opened the door to yell down the hallway. “Morty! Hey Morty!”

“Aw jeez Rick, what is it now?” Morty said.

“I have a surprise for you Morty! Come quick! It's the invention of a lifetime!”

“Yeah, and I'm guessing the reason you have to show him whatever this thing turns out to be is to use him as a human guinea pig right?” Jerry said.

“Hey, he said it, not me,” Rick said. “So what do you think Morty? Do you just see yourself as a human guinea pig? Or someone willing to go to new horizons?”

“Well I've been to all kinds of dimensions where I nearly died, and the only real time that was cool was when I had sex with a mermaid in Atlantis. And even that involved some fish guy coming here later on, and me nearly getting trapped in Narnia! Though that didn't suck nearly as much as when I blew all my chances with Jessica!”

“Hey Morty, you crashed into the ocean and got Mr. Nimbus all riled up enough to come here. Don't blame me for what happened. Besides, you know that kind of thing wasn't really a big deal,” he said, burping loudly all of a sudden. “It's how you take care of your problems that really matters.”

“Yeah, because you're really good at taking care of your problems.”

“And he wasn't so bad,” Jerry said. “He definitely taught me a thing or two.”

“I didn't think his skin would feel so good either,” Beth said.

“Ewww, TMI!” Summer said.

“I don't know who you're talking about, but I think I want to meet him,” said Space Beth.

“Yeah,” Rick said. “Who do you want to take advice from Morty? Your cool grandpa that has made a new toy that will change your life? Or do you want to listen to your dad, who is such a fucking cuck that not only does he approve of his wife and their self cest thing, but now he wants another dude to have threesomes with them instead of him? Hell, maybe he just wants to suck fish man's dick in front of them to try and get one up on Space Beth here, I don't know. It's Jerry, ignorance is bliss when it comes to his mental process.”

“Wow,” Summer said.

“Does Mr. Nimbus even exist in this universe?” Jerry said.

“Yes, you goddamn nimrods,” Rick said. “This reality is the exact same as the one we left except everyone says 'Parmesian,' instead of, 'Parmesan.' Other than that, same Mr. Nimbus, same memories of what went down with the exact same human-fish sex that happened.”

“Yeah, me and Rick were tangling with him on some island fortress like The Expendables,” Morty said. “Same day Piss Master showed up.”

“Oh him,” Jerry said. He hung his head low.

“Yeah, 'Oh him,'” Rick said. “It's good to know Jerry has some shame. Can't get stiff for fish man now, huh? Nice job blowing that Flamingo Dad thing by the way. You would think Jerry would have a supervillain stage before he loses his power, but no, he can't even do that. That was your moment of glory, and the way you played it, your little alter ego was barely better than some shitty Mega Man ROM hack.”

“Ice cold,” said Space Beth with a smile.

“So go knock yourselves out, weirdos. And you, Morty. There are infinite versions of Jessica across the multiverse but there's only so much of what I'm going to show you. Your choice mang.”

“Fine, whatever,” Morty said, getting up and going into the garage. “But this better be good!”

“Oh it will be Morty, it will! It's gonna be so meta!”

“Metal?” Morty said, stepping into the garage. “No offense, but I don't wanna see you headbanging. I don't think you have the hair to do it.” The main thing that caught his attention was that Rick's car was covered by a giant tarp.

“First of all Morty, you don't need any hair to headbang, the same way you don't need a head to just relax and get schwifty. Second of all, not metal, Morty. Meta. You know like that anti-meta device I made to fuck with the Self-Referential Six.

“And look how that one turned out.”

“Fine, Morty, I know when I screwed up, but right now? You're killing my buzz and the upcoming reveal.” Rick cleared his throat before he said loudly. “This is my latest invention! Behold!” he said, taking off the tarp. The UFO car had been fitted with a small clear tube on the underside of it filled with glowing blue fluid not unlike how the portal gun always had a cylinder of green fluid. “You know portal fluid Morty, but do you know self insert fluid? It will allow us to enter the reality of any fictional world we want to!”

“Fictional worlds? You mean like video games?”

“Video games and TV shows, Morty! And movies! And books! Is that the coolest idea or what?”

“This isn't that interesting. We were part of a Simpsons couch gag cameo and several advertising campaigns way back in the day. I don't see how this one is any different.”

“Morty, those were barely even pocket dimensions with no continuity or character arc to them and usually have a life span of about two or three days, the average time it takes for a Meeseeks to go crazy if he can't fulfill his life's purpose. You can't really consider us as having gone anywhere. Those were PR stunts, created by cold soulless businessmen for the sake of advertising bullshit, and are probably long gone by now. Anyone with portal fluid and way too much time on their hands can get there if they get lost or they're just really bored.” He burped. “You know, it's the kind of thing your dad would be making if he wasn't such a cuck that even cucks look down on him. He's gonna be beating it to seeing both his real wife and the clone android whatever thing getting rammed by fish dicks instead of getting any of that action. This time, we can actually live out our lives as part of the story, and things will continue long after we're gone. It's like interdimensional cable, just without all the weird stuff going on in the background! Isn't that the coolest idea ever?”

“How did you even get that?”

“It's made from the air around the Headquarters of the Self-Referential Six. Well before it all went poof. So you gonna interrupt my gravitas and make another stupid quip about how this really isn't that cool when you know deep down that it is? Because if you do, you can go right back and hang with your dad who's apparently such a groveling cuckold that if you filmed it, it would be featured on some Youtube documentary about the dark web.”

“Dark web is nothing compared to all the stuff I've been through. And I mean, I'm down. But I'm only coming along if I get to play out and be part of episodes or something. Like I can play as Luke Skywalker and be a Jedi as part of a VR role playing thing.”

“Oh more than that, Morty! It's not imaginary, it's real! So you can go and be BFFs with Luke Skywalker! Just don't get too handsy with Princess Leia. Remember how he kissed his sister.” Rick had to burp really loud before he said, “He's a farm boy with a laser sword, and he still has daddy issues after the guy actually fucking cut off his hand. Going by his standard, Jedi Knight just seems like another term for complete dumbass, and you already being such a...Morty...isn't helping your case.” He burped again real loud. “Listen, we're lucky that sequel trilogy didn't end up with him and Leia becoming redneck drug lords in the desert, growing whatever the hell people snort to get high in Star Wars and popping out several inbred kids. Jar Jar Binks was bad enough.”

“Alright, fine, I get it. Let's just go already.”

“Let's just go already? Is that what you actually said? I'm giving you something like interdimensional cable but something you kids today can actually relate to, something that isn't flat out weird 24/7, and you can't be more enthusiastic than that? It's been every writer's dream to go to a world they created or the world of their favorite movie or book! But they've never succeeded until now. Go science!”

“Okay boomer.”

“Oh Morty, using outdated internet cliches to seem cool! Yeah, you are your father's son alright. Let's just hope we don't pop into some tentacle hentai or I know you'll be getting slimed and slithered up all over and liking it. I still remember all that bullshit with the snakes from Season Four.”

“Can I come along?” Summer said, popping in. “I wanna have an adventure too! I heard everything, Grandpa Rick was really loud.”

“Summer, I have to warn you about what you're gonna be running into,” Rick said. “We're not gonna be meeting any sexy werewolves or vampires, or whatever the hell teenage girls are into these days. You know with how many girls love those Twilight books, I'm surprised Coach Feratu didn't have a legion of frothing underage sex slaves back when I transferred my mind into a teenager's body.”

“I'm taking this from a guy who fucked a planet?”

“Oh snap!” Morty said.

“And then had some magical bonding sex experience with a slut dragon?”

“You were part of that too, remember?” Rick said. “You both were! Speaking of which, you kids should probably get yourself checked or something. I mean it was a soul orgy and not an actual orgy, but it might explain why the two of you are being such a pain in the ass when it comes to the possibility of me giving you a chance to explore your favorite fictional worlds. You figure some people would be up at the chance for it and wouldn't be dicking around with a lot of bullshit over whatever past slights we've had.”

“Grandpa Rick, is there a reason for all these call backs? Talking about past adventures and stuff, it's almost like you're planning something.”

“Summer, I am a sci-fi mega genius, but the universe is a cold and unforgiving thing I have no control over. So what better way to get away from it all then going to other worlds?”

“Yeah, regular old Rick,” Morty said. “He's not planning something, he's just being an asshole.”

“See, he gets it,” Rick said, opening the large garage door.

“And he's not so menacing when you remember that for awhile, he was Piss Master.”

“Nicest thing I've ever done and people still give me shit about it.”

“He's talking about shit now. I should stop talking before I give him ideas.”

“And plotting something behind our backs is also something he's liable to do,” Summer said. “Though you're right, he probably is into shit. He never went into the specifics about why he's such a shy pooper.”

“So help me, you better not be comparing me to Doofus Rick or I'll...” Rick went on.

“Whatever, can we just go?” Morty said, getting inside.

“You still up Summer, or do you want to go back to your super cool parents?” Rick said, glaring in the direction of the living room. “Who knows what they're up to right now?”

“Pfft, no way,” Summer said, getting inside.

“Oh yeah! Let's go to some fictional worlds!” Rick got into the driver's before he started up the car started up and blasted off into the sky. It was fast already which wasn't a surprise, but the self insert fluid in the new canister attached to it started glowing brightly, and before long, the car simply vanished in a flash of blue light.

***

It was a quiet afternoon in Quahog, Rhode Island, the sun shining through the windows. It was still in the early morning before the predawn light when Peter had left for work due to a new shift he was starting today. Alone and unsatisfied in the shower, Lois remembered her time in Miami. It had been a week since she got back but she still thought back on it like it was yesterday.

She knew the men there would be horny enough to fuck her without any hesitation. After all the waiting for a good dicking, the two guys railing her in the Bang Bus were exactly the type she was hoping for, giving it hard to her and Meg. And the sight of her own daughter getting plowed righteously by two random guys turned her on way more than she expected.

But nothing had prepared her for how Meg had come onto her when they got back to their hotel room. Lois was stunned by Meg's boldness, their brief kisses in the Bang Bus on Lois' part was just pent up energy from getting it so good from two strangers in a different place where nobody would hold them accountable. Save the internet after the two guys uploaded all the racy contents of that video.

Yet in the safety of the hotel room, resistance gave way to curiosity, and soon Lois found herself responding to her daughter's affections. Maybe it was the novelty of the situation or that they had just been involved in a gangbang together, but it all felt so right. After their first orgasms together on the bed, naked and willing, she beckoned Meg to join her in the shower.

Meg practically jumped up at the sight of her hot mama naked, beckoning her daughter to shower with her. Meg ran into the bathroom with her, and they embraced again, almost falling into the shower. They started making out again, before Lois took her daughter's glasses and threw them somewhere on the bathroom floor. In their forbidden act of passion, Meg was now completely blind and at the mercy of her mother, a beautiful woman that could torment and tantalize her as she pleased, as she had done so many times before.

Not that Meg seemed to mind. Her eyes were completely closed and kissing her like they were happily married, engaged in an mutual act of delicious and sinful bliss as she grasped all over her mother's perfectly slender and wonderful body. Lois didn't mind either, and inwardly she had to chuckle to herself. Her daughter's craving, her sheer wanton lust, it all just proved how devoted Meg had become, and Lois was more than happy to give her exactly what she needed.

The hot water rained all over each other's bodies. They were locked together, lips against lips, tits against tits, and their cunts grinded against each other all the while, not too gentle but not too rough either. Lois already knew Meg was getting off on this plenty since she had initiated this encounter in their hotel room to start with, but the feeling of her daughter's ample breasts and big swollen nipples rubbing up against her own smaller teats was starting to drive her mad.

Lois broke the kiss, and the two of them looked tenderly at each other. Even with Meg's vision so blurry, she could read her mother's expression perfectly, she looked so beautiful under the soft light and with the both of them naked and holding each other, she never felt so safe with another person before.

“M-mom...” Meg said.

She put her finger to Meg's lips. “Shhh. Just this one time, you can call me Lois.”

“Yes...yes Lois.” Meg smiled fondly before Lois pushed her back against the wall and took of the erect nipples into her mouth. Meg cried out feeling feeling those lips and tongue latch onto her sensitive caps, it was all she could do to hold her mother close and run her fingers through her wet red ginger hair.

Despite her mother being married to Peter and bearing three of his children, she had fooled around with women in the past. Kissing the girl that Meg brought home while she played at being a lesbian and that one time she gave Cleveland a show by going at it with Bonnie before he left for Stoolbend had both been enough to reawaken a hidden side of her. But she never thought she'd be fully letting it out with her daughter.

As Lois was sucking on the teat, Meg had reached her hand down to her mother's vagina. She started rubbing on it gently at first, but when she felt Lois' clitoris swollen with arousal, together with the way her tits were being skillfully worked with the perfect mix of lips, teeth, and tongue, was bringing out the predator in Meg again. Her fingers reached down to the enlarged nub and pinched on it lightly, before she started stroking it more vigorously.

Lois had to stop sucking on Meg's tit to moan. With her head already down, servicing her daughter's massive chest and a pair of hands working her sweet spot, Lois who was ordinarily so proud and confident was now submissive and defenseless. And Meg liked that.

While Meg worked her mother's clit, Lois held her by the shoulders to keep steady. She looked up at Meg, still without her glasses. Even though Lois could see clearly and Meg was still squinting her eyes to see, her daughter had a sinister grin on her face, knowing exactly what was going on. Her limited vision barely allowed her to see her mother looking so weak before her, but it wasn't at all helped by feeling her down there and knowing she was making her wail so badly.

She slowed down a bit to give her mother some time to take it all in while still touching her most sensitive part. Lois' moans had simmered down a bit, but she was still murmuring sweetly to herself. Meg dipped one of her fingers inside Lois' wet snatch. Tight and hot down there, her mother was truly the epitome of desire to make so many people want her, and any woman want to be her, something Meg loved and hated her for. Lois' grip on Meg's shoulders was tightening, digging her nails into her skin so hard that her knuckles were starting to turn white. Finished teasing her, Meg resumed playing with her clit, faster and faster.

Lois screamed out loud when she came. Meg held her so she could keep her footing, feeling her whole body quivering as she melted into the orgasm. Eventually Lois slumped to her knees, unable to take it anymore. That just allowed Meg to be standing over top of her.

Lois looked up and without another word, started eating out Meg's juicy vagina. Meg enjoyed the feeling of being so dominant then. Even though she couldn't see most of it, she felt it acutely, it brought out a sadistic feeling to have her mother, one of her biggest bullies, servicing her so.

Meg softly put her hand on Lois' head, encouraging her to do it. Just as Lois was moaning in deep satisfaction, now Meg was doing it. She started playing with one of her tits, desperately wanting to cum.

Lois tasted Meg's pleasure the moment she came. A small dash of fluid from the nub squirted right on her face. She kept on eating her daughter's pussy, she had experimented a bit when she was younger and knew exactly how to do it, digging her tongue deep inside. But Meg, both unused to this amount of pleasure let alone it coming from her mother, found herself helpless on the receiving end of it. She found herself becoming so giddy that she slipped on the wet floor, falling down right on her butt before she realized it.

Lois smiled at this turn of events. Meg was fumbling around, trying to get up without her glasses. Taking the soap, Lois grabbed her naked daughter like she was a bratty little child in need of punishment, and started washing her fast and rough all over her body, her tits and legs and ass, while liberally fingering her pussy and anus, quickly asserting her dominance over Meg once again.

Not that it lasted very long. Even without her glasses, Meg was able to find her bearings and quickly pulled herself close to her mother so that their bodies were joined again. This time she wrapped her legs around Lois' hips, not letting her get away, the both of them sitting upright on the floor. Grinding hard against her, Meg grabbed Lois' small petite ass hard. Unable to escape Meg's grasp and the heightened feelings of pleasure she was being put through, Lois submitted to her daughter completely at that moment, throwing her head back in ecstasy.

They were grinding against each other so hard on the shower floor that their butts were starting to feel it. But they were both so horny that they didn't care. They were each so close to cumming again already, but it hit the both of them at the same time when their erect clits touched each other again at the right moment. It was an almost electric sensation of pleasure and release all at once.

Meg shuddered first, unable to hold it in any longer. Lois had been feeling it pretty bad too, but it was only due to her confidence and experience that she was able to contain herself as well as she did. Meg had to lay her head on her mother's shoulder as her confident demeanor faded and she clung to her, feeling submissive and cared for, and wanting nothing else in the world. She was faintly aware Lois had climaxed too, and that only made her hold onto her harder.

Her mind wracked in a state of delirium, Lois slowly coaxed Meg until her face was at her mother's vagina again. Without awaiting any command, Meg did exactly as she was told, obediently licking Lois' snatch. It didn't even occur to her that this was the vagina that gave birth to her, she was completely focused on pleasuring Lois. As Meg was performing her task, Lois reached around her daughter's curvy body and started fingering her anus again.

For several amazing minutes they were like that, both locked in a lurid act of shameless and forbidden pleasure. Lois came first, and Meg felt her mother's vagina spasm on her mouth. But with the finger still working her anus, she didn't stop, and Meg even started playing with her own cunt, until she felt two powerful orgasms surge in her asshole and her pussy.

When the two of them had finished cumming, Lois leaned over and retrieved Meg's glasses and set them back on her face. Meg squinted a bit, catching herself, before Lois kissed her gently. They both moaned into it, holding each other. When they stopped, Lois cupped her face.

“L-Lois...” Meg said.

“Clean me off,” she said, handing her the soap. Meg nodded, and slowly went to work with care and precision. She rubbed the lather onto her mother's soft breasts, down her flat stomach, and Lois raised her arms up. Taking the hint, Meg scrubbed onto her sides and armpits, up her arms, and then went to work on her mother's legs, washing all over the thighs, calves, and her feet.

It stirred something in Meg's heart when Lois turned around. With just as much care, Meg washed all over her mother's shoulders, her lower back, and her bum. The thrill of touching and tasting Lois' skin, lips, and vagina was nothing compared to the warmth in Meg's heart at these tender moments together with this woman. No judgment or lingering animosity remained between them, just pure love.

As she finished cleaning her up, Lois turned off the faucet. She took a towel and dried herself off from head to toe before turning to Meg and doing the same to her. Her daughter closed her eyes blissfully as she let Lois slowly and softly touch every spot with care, she never felt so right just then.

Then Meg was shaken out of it by another devastating kiss right on the lips. Lois closed the gap between the two of them, the heat of their bodies together accompanied by what residual moisture was left. Meg let her mother's tongue inside her mouth, returned it eagerly with no complaints whatsoever.

When their lips parted, there was a faint line of spit between their mouths barely visible in the overhead light.

“Go out there and teach Connie a lesson. Then get back here.”

After giving Connie a spanking so good that she actually came from it, Meg got back and snuggled in the nude together with Lois again, fingering and eating each other again and again, worshipping their naked bodies under the light of the moon for what seemed like forever, until finally they couldn't take it anymore and fell asleep in each other's arms. But the next morning, their stay was up and they had to go back to Quahog.

Lois couldn't take it anymore. Being in the shower now, all she could think about was that time. Her heart was beating in her chest, her head felt light, and her whole body was on fire. Feeling an intense pleasantness in her vagina, she looked down at how wet she was, and realized she needed to satisfy herself.

She probed her lubricated swollen vagina with her fingers. Her clitoris was already swollen with arousal, and closing her eyes, she pressed down on it with her thumb while she fingered herself. She closed her eyes and moaned deeply while she reached up to her tits until she climaxed. She felt it in her whole body, shaking for a good several minutes under the stream of water, and naughtily sucked her finger, tasting her pleasure.

Doing it with her daughter wasn't the only thing she thought about either. She easily understood now why Bonnie had cheated on Joe several times already, she was just experimenting down in Florida, but that had easily been some of the best sex she ever had. But the moment she got back home and shut the door behind her, she knew reality had set in. And so life went on.

Her brother Patrick was currently paying them a visit. The one time Quahog Fat Guy Strangler turned innocent when he helped Joe and Peter solve the case of the serial killer at Chris' fat camp still made her more than a little nervous. He still hadn't accounted for where he'd gone after that. Still talked about his invisible wife Marian too.

Drying herself off, Lois switched into her regular clothes, then went downstairs. Patrick was watching TV on the couch, with an arm around “Marian,” while Stewie was in his room fiddling with some weird toys she still didn't understand. She was still oblivious to her youngest son's true nature as an evil genius, Chris was probably beating it in his room, Peter was either still at work or hanging out the guys, Meg was out with her friends, and Brian was busy keeping an eye on her brother.

“I'll be going out,” Lois said.

“Sure thing,” Patrick said. That answer should have made Lois uneasy, but all the chaos of Quahog seemed humdrum to her by now. The chicken, Quagmire and Herbert's antics, she never thought all that could get boring to her.

She had planned on going out with Bonnie and Donna when she saw a white van go by on the streets. First thing she thought of was the Bang Bus. She sighed dreamily remembering it before she continued on her way. But all that changed when the van stopped.

“Hey!” said a familiar male voice, the voice of the driver. “Long time no see!”

She almost jumped hearing his voice for real.

“It's really you?” she said, going up close.

“Damn, I never thought we'd be running into you again,” said the man in the backseat. “Come on in. I've been thinking about you for awhile now.”

“Oh hell yeah!” She opened the door and got in. Both of the guys were smiling at the sight of her. The driver leaned forward and gave her a passionate kiss before she gave another wet one to the guy right beside her in the back seat. “I've missed you, boys!”

“Where's your daughter?” the driver said. Meg's big tits still gave him nightmares.

“She's out with her friends right now. But don't worry. I'm all you need,” she said, licking her lips. She already started unbuttoning her shirt. Then there was a loud thump outside.

“What in the world?” she said, looking out the window.

***

It was only for an instant that Rick's car vanished in the sky in a blaze of blue light, but they reappeared over the skies of Quahog, Rhode Island, right above the Griffin household. Morty and Summer looked around in amazement. They all heard a familiar jingle for three seconds Morty and Summer couldn't quite place. Rick on the other hand knew it quite well.

“Where are we?” Morty said.

“Morty, look at the design of that house, look at the angle we're looking from all the way up here. Remember that jingle we just heard? Can't you see this is a familiar cutaway sequence between story sequences to show a recurring location? And remember all those references to random past episodes we were doing before we came here, even though it had nothing to do with the main plot of my newest invention? No wonder we came to this place first!” He smiled and laughed, cheering to himself. “We're in the world of Family Guy, bitches!”

“Whoa...”

“Yep, you definitely planned this,” Summer said.

“It worked!” Rick said, ignoring her. “Who else can fucking do that but me? I'm the best Rick ever!” He started laughing really loud.

“Okay, okay!” Morty said. “So if we're really in the world of Family Guy how about we set down and do some stuff?”

“Sure thing Morty. Just be careful about what you do or say here. We're in the world of Family Guy, so you know about those cutaway jokes. If you say the wrong thing or ramble on about something that is completely incoherent and unrelated to the situation, you might find yourself trapped in some weird repeating loop of a joke that goes on for way too long.” His eyes widened and he looked at Morty real close. “Or it might go on forever.”

“Yeah, point taken. Can we just go now?”

“Alright kids, hold onto your pants while we set down. Oh yeah!”

They did set down then, only for the car to suddenly konk out just right before they landed. Rick tried starting it up again but no go. Getting frustrated, he kept at it, and then there was a loud sonic boom that could be heard all over Spooner Street.

“Uh, what was that?” Morty said.

“Oh shit.” They got out and looked at the canister, and the self insert fluid looked like it was boiling inside. “Well, I had only run a few preliminary tests on organic matter and artificial matter going through self insert portals before pitching this idea as an adventure, so it's not really a surprise something like this happens.”

“Are you telling me we're trapped here?”

“No Morty, I have a portal gun, remember?” He took it out and tried shooting out the familiar green wormhole. Instead the portal gun made a static noise before it short circuited.

“Did I just see what I think I saw?”

“Uh, fuck me right. Well we are in an actual fictional world and not some PR stunt bullshit so I thought this might happen but...”

“You thought it might happen and you didn't bother to bring some failsafe to bail us out? What about all that talk about the portal gun being fixed?”

“Interfiction travel is still a new field Morty. Now I know my portal gun doesn't work in fictional universes. Or there's just some kinks I still need to work out.”

“Are you telling me we're trapped here?” Summer said.

“Summer, I thought you'd be happy. You've been giving me shit about having some nefarious master plan in the background and now it's been established that I clearly don't have one. I mean, score one for you, if that's what gets you off.”

“So what do we do now?” Morty said, sounding increasingly panicked.

“Relax Morty, relax.”

“Relax? I'm trapped in the world of Family Guy where I might never see my parents again?”

“Morty, it's not that bad. I know of a way to get us out of here. Just stay here and protect the self insert fluid in case something happens to me while I'm gone.” He started walking off before he stopped and looked back at Morty. “And whatever happens, don't go wandering off. We're in the world of Family Guy where weird stuff happens all the time and there's all sorts of wacky characters. It's like going back to the dark ages, fucking around with some old rich guy's hot young trophy wife, and then being surprised when you come back to the present and people are treating like a king because you're now royal blood. Things can blow out of proportion very fast, and then even I can't save you. They have a talking dog who actually has sex with humans! You ever see something like that in all our travels?”

“Well there was this one time...”

“Morty, it was a rhetorical question. Remember what I said about the rules of this world. Cutaway jokes and all that.” He unfastened the tube of self insert fluid from the car and gave it to Morty. “Keep this on you. That stuff's volatile, and where I'm going, if something bad happens, I don't need anymore problems.”

“But what if you don't come back?”

“Don't worry Morty, I have this covered. That's why I'm a Rick and you're just a Morty. And uh, if shit goes south just...” He burped and said, “Stay in the car. It'll keep you safe. Just ask your sister.”

“Keep Morty safe,” said the droning voice of Rick's car.

“As long as she's not feeling like a drama bomb,” Summer said.

“Whatever that's supposed to mean,” Rick said. “Summer, you're coming with me. I know I've been giving you shit all day, but at the same time, even you on your worst day with your period going crazy and crying over a boy who dumped you is still far more competent than your brother on his best day.”

Summer smiled at Morty and said, “And I've still got wolverine claws.” She extended them out then retracted them right back in.

“Don't go nuts with those Summer. I know you're all about that badass chic these days, but I don't need any extended fight scenes with any bipedal birds that are chronically angry.” He held out his arms and smiled in triumph. “See? That's how it's done. Be vague enough and you can avoid those cutaway jokes like a boss.”

“I'll put this in your car, since I'm just a Morty right?” he said with a small bit of anger creeping into his voice.

“No! No Morty, for fuck's sakes don't do that. That car already got messed up bad from having it attached to it. Keep it in your pocket, keep it safe.”

“But it got us into this mess in the first place! Shouldn't I just get rid of it?”

“No, it's too important to be treated like trash. But hey, if it explodes or something while in your safe and capable hands, the worst thing that'll happen is that I lose a Morty. Big loss right?”

“Aw jeez...” Morty put the canister in his pocket and looked downcast.

Rick knew exactly where he wanted to go. He made a beeline for the Griffin household, he hoped Stewie would be helpful instead of them having a ten minute sci-fi showdown with effects too good for any network TV cartoon. He knocked on the door. Brian opened the door with a martini in his hand.

“Can I help you?”

Rick sighed loudly in irritation. “I wanted anyone else to open the door except for this fucking pretentious word nerd.” He took a sip from his flask and pushed his way past, Summer following close behind.

“Uh excuse me, who are you?” Brian said, smiling as cordially as he could and managing to keep his irritation in check, shutting the door and turning to Rick, who was making his way through the house as if he was an invited guest.

“Don't worry about it you little basic bitch Dan Brown wannabe, I won't be here for too long.” He walked past the couch, not even noticing Patrick.

“Who are you people supposed to be exactly?” Brian said to Summer.

“Summer, don't actually talk to him,” Rick said. “He acts all refined but he's the kind of little shit just waiting for an excuse to hump somebody's leg.”

“Okaaaay,” Summer said, following Rick, going past the couch.

“Hey there,” Patrick said. “You knocked into my wife Marian, and I think she deserves an apology.”

“What?” Summer said, arching at eyebrow at him.

“Wait, wait, wait, this throwaway barely recurring character is here?” Rick said. “Oh wow, I really am in a filler episode, huh.” He kept on going, Summer still right behind him.

“Excuse me, I think she deserves an apology!” Patrick said, hollering after them.

“I'm sorry you think your too cheap to buy a real doll ass wife deserves an apology,” Rick said, not even giving Patrick a glance and instead going straight upstairs and went to Stewie's room.

***

In the Bang Bus, the three of them had watched the situation intently. Neither of them were honestly fazed that much by what was happening. Lois' family life was already pretty crazy, and after dealing with Demona back in New York, the two guys were a little more open minded on this kind of situation.

“Is that a UFO?” said the man in the back.

“Yeah, I wish I could get me something like that,” said the driver.

“You think they're aliens bro?”

“How about we find out?” Lois said.

***

Outside Morty had been standing by the car. He watched Rick go in the Griffin house, but he still didn't know what his grandfather intended to accomplish. He figured it had something to do with Stewie, and if that was true, given the egos of both his grandfather and the baby, it could go really good or really bad.

“Hey there,” said a whispy high pitched voice. Morty looked in the direction of the voice to see Herbert. “I say you're not looking too good young man. How about you come in for a visit. I can treat you just right.”

“Uh...n-no thanks.” Morty wasn't the biggest fan of Family Guy but he knew Herbert and his sexual orientation, for lack of a better phrase.

“Come on out Jesse. We have ourselves a visitor.” Jesse the dog stepped out and looked at Morty with an almost human intelligence eyes like he was sizing him up, then made his trademark creepy little growl. “Don't you want to pet my adorable little dog?”

“Really, I think I'm good!”

“But he's getting old and isn't feeling too well these days. I'm sure some companionship would make him feel much better.” Morty was honestly torn. He knew what kind of person Herbert was, but he also knew that ignoring him right now would be a real Rick thing to do.

Morty, you gotta watch out! said the phantom voice of Rick in his head. We're here in the Family Guy world, Morty! All kinds of bad things can happen if you decide to fuck around, Morty! And besides, if you wanna goof off, don't do it with creepy old men.

Wolverine claws!said the phantom voice of Summer.

Living rent free in your head like a comedy cartoon inner monologue of some doofus that can't make up his mind! Oh and also, you're still just a Morty. Sucks to be you huh?

Wolverine claws bitch!

“Screw you, I can make my own decisions!” he said looking up at the sky. “You ARE a creepy old man! And I'm not taking shit from my dumb bitch of a sister either! I'm in the world of Family Guy and I'm gonna do all kinds of crazy shit if I want to!” Morty started walking towards Herbert, who was both bewildered and intrigued.

“I would say my mission directive is 'Keep Morty safe,' but apparently not even I can keep Morty safe from his own stupidity,” said the loud droning voice of Rick's car.

“Oooh, this kid will be a fun one,” Herbert said. But just then, Morty was stopped.

“Hey kid! You wanna play with an old man or get some of this tail?” said the voice of Lois behind him. Morty looked in the direction of her voice and saw the Bang Bus with one of the doors wide open. Lois looking at him with her eyes lidded seductively and her mouth crooked in a wicked smile. She had already unbuttoned her shirt so that her cleavage was visible.

Remember what I said about the rules of fucking around in fictional worlds, Morty,said Rick's phantom voice again. That's a hot married woman, Morty. All kinds of bad things can happen, Morty! Like uh, shit, I don't know, you having a good time, and I'm definitely the kind of asshole that will try and stop you from doing that. Wubba lubba dub dub. Remember when I said that at least once per episode, Morty? Man that takes me back.

Compared to his jerk of a grandfather and this creepy old man, a hot older redheaded woman coming onto him was a dream come true. Even if she was looking like a honey trap straight from a creepy nondescript white van. And it was one thing watching Lois on TV and beating off to all kinds of fan art of her on the internet, but it was another thing to see her in person and have the chance to fuck her for real.

“Kid, if you don't take up that offer, like everything Rick ever said about you was true,” said Rick's car in that same monotone drawl.

He didn't need to think twice, he immediately ran in Lois' direction.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!” he said happily as he opened the van's door and shut it behind him.

As soon as Morty got in and the van drove off, Herbert sighed to himself. “Well ain't that a cryin' shame Jesse.” The dog made a disappointed sigh along with his master. “Guess it's back to watching Nickelodeon.”

***

Inside the Bang Bus, Lois pulled Morty forth as soon as he gotten in. He barely had time to react and shut the door behind him before they were off again. Lois pulled him forward by the collar of his shirt and spun him around so he was in the middle of the back seat. He had eagerly complied without thinking, he was smiling the whole time. And then she rewarded him for his obedience with a passionate kiss.

The man in the back had moved up front to give Lois some room as soon as she proposed the idea. Both of the guys had been disappointed at first, they were more than eager to get their freaks on with Lois a second time. But after they watched Demona assume her true form as a gargoyle, and then get some horny kid around the same age as Morty to put on a dress before she pegged him, they were curious to see what might happen this time when this random kid came straight out of a UFO.

And it was a great marketing strategy too. They already filmed one video of them fucking Lois Griffin. But having her be a sexy dommy mommy on top of some hapless kid would be a whole new avenue.

Morty was just looking to have some fun and defy Rick in equal measure. But for Lois, it was the predatory aspect that drove her to single him out. The adventure in Miami had been such a success, that now she was looking to up the ante. She had seen so many weird stuff that a UFO was chump change, she just wanted to dominate someone so young and horny.

As Lois and Morty were sucking face, she was rubbing his crotch the whole time. Morty hadn't kissed too many girls, he had only got some of that mermaid puss because he was with Rick, and the short time he was banging redheaded cougars in New York was when he was Healthy Morty, and all his memories of that seemed like a dream as opposed to something that actually happened. So the more she fondled the growing lump in his pants, the harder it became for him to concentrate on kissing back.

Eventually he had to break the kiss, both because of how aggressive she was being as well as to take a breather. That didn't stop her, she pressed on, pushing him down on his back against the car seat.

“I like your car,” Lois said, holding him up close.

“Actually it's my grandpa's,” Morty said.

“You from Mars, kid?” said the man.

“Nah we're a little ways off Seattle,” Morty said.

“Really,” the driver said, nonplussed.

Lois shrugged her shoulders. This kid was weird enough as is, she wanted to see just how much weirder he'd be in the sack. She resumed kissing him, pushing her tongue deep on top of his. He tried to kiss back as best he could, but the woman on top of him was insatiable, moaning deeply as she raped his mouth.

“I wish that was me,” said the man.

“Totally,” said the driver.

She was holding him down by one of his shoulders, grinding up against him and humping him all the while she moaned like an animal. He was so powerless against her that he had to stop kissing her back again. Not that his inability to give it back to her stopped Lois at all, she still went at him, kissing and sucking on his neck before she went back to his lips. She unbuttoned his pants and yanked down the zipper on his fly.

Her hand landed on his erect penis, now only protected by his boxer shorts. She was surprised by how big he was, it was practically bulging at the seams, and she felt his head peeking out the the hem. He was starting to become content with letting her take the lead, he had never been with a woman with such a potent libido, but the minute he felt her palm on his junk rising to life so close to the skin, his mind snapped back alert. He kissed back with an untamed passion that made his technique especially awkward against her smooth and refined kissing style, but she enjoyed bringing out this side of him, of knowing how badly he wanted her. Then she broke the kiss and looked him in the eyes.

“Guess he really is just a normal kid,” the driver said. “No tail, no antenna, nothin.”

“Oh yeah, and that is a normal reaction for anyone to have under such a fine woman,” the man said.

“Anybody's dick would be that big around her, right?”

“Yep, when he grows up, he's gonna have trouble walking, swinging that thing around.”

Morty nervously licked his lips as she stared down at him with a feral smile. He could feel her hot breaths on his face. He was acutely aware of her hand having reached down his undershorts, stroking his bare sensitive skin with her soft palms and fingers, but he dared not look away from the hungry gaze of the woman on top of him. She lowered her face to his crotch and freed his cock of it's last confines. It almost sprang out, hitting her hard in the face.

She looked down at his erect cock and for a moment was simply lost. She had never seen such a big dick before. She wanted to mess it up so bad.

He was so horny already but feeling her stroke him, it was unbearable. Her hand slowly worked the shaft with the perfect amount of pressure while she would rub her thumb on the opening of the head everytime she reached the top of the shaft. As he was struggling to contain himself, she reached one of her hands under his shirt and started playing with his nipples.

He was so unused to this pleasure that he was losing control. He was ready to lunge at her but then she stopped beating him off and held him down by his chest. As much as she wanted him inside her, right now she wanted to dominate his prick. Her fingers enclosed around his nipples, pinching them hard enough just short of being painful and then gently brushing them after. She put her lips to his ear.

“Be a good boy. Or I'll have to spank you.” She faintly blew on his sensitive earlobe while humming a small sound like a moan.

“O-okay!”

“Good boy,” she said before she kissed his ear and resumed beating him off. Her pace was slow as she licked down from the ear onto his cheek, until her mouth was on his neck.

Her hand stopped on the shaft, holding it tight without moving an inch. She considerably lessened the strength of her grip as she hungrily kissed and licked all over his neck. She could tell how tense he was and let go of his penis, knowing he was about to bust a nut if she kept it up, he was that sensitive.

She teased him, pinching his nipples again for several seconds and enjoying how much he was willingly becoming submissive to her, before she lowered herself and he felt the first of her hot breaths on his penis. His heart was beating in his chest at such a raw and timeless moment and then a big smile lit up his face as she teased himwhen she first licked the underside of his shaft. She licked up and down the shaft multiple times, feeling him get stiffer on her tongue in a matter of seconds.

While she was licking his shaft, she was gently tapping her fingers on his large scrotum. She enjoyed the feeling of his balls swelling up on her hands, of him being at her mercy. While she prodded his sack, she decided to tease him by slurping on the base of his shaft right before his balls. As she continued fondling him there, she felt his whole organ tensing up. Just like she wanted.

Lois gave another long and slow lick back up the shaft until her tongue was right under his cock head. She moved her tongue to the sides of it, all over and around it. The smell of his skin and the heat in his penis was directly in her nostrils, she knew how to stimulate a man but the libido of the young ones was something else.

She took his cock head in her mouth. Morty yelped in surprise and pleasure, it wasn't just the act that shocked him but her enthusiasm. She was only sucking on the head like it was a sweet piece of fruit, moving her lips up and down on the crown and moaning loudly. That alone was driving him crazy, but his whole shaft was tingling too, both from the tease as well as how she had licked him there moments earlier. He wanted it so badly.

Too soon for the both of him, Morty screamed and spasmed as he came right in Lois' mouth. No stranger to guys cumming in her mouth, she sucked down all of his semen for almost half a minute as his dick spurt way more semen than either she or the two guys would have given him credit for. Not that she minded, she knew how badly he had wanted it and was more than happy to reward him.

When he was finished cumming, she started kissing all over his cock. Lois had felt him soften as she was guzzling down every drop of his cum, but such small affections were more than enough to get him randy again as he reeled from such a powerful nut while he was lost in the throes of helplessness. She smiled as he was hardening again on her face. To reward his ardor, she started nibbling on the shaft, gently pulling on the skin using her teeth with just enough pressure to drive him wild.

He was fully erect again in virtually no time at all. Then she stopped and sat up. She took one of his hands, and he followed her lead, sitting up on his knees with his boner sticking out for everyone to see, her and the two guys in front. He didn't care that he was naked, he didn't even feel their eyes on him, he was just ready for more. He had a big dumb grin on his face, eager to see where this meeting would go.

“Undress me,” she cooed to him.

“Yes ma'am!” He started unbuttoning her shirt, his hands were jittery with excitement, and each button was taking longer than he liked. Lois and the two guys were smiling at his performance, the nervous anticipation he had before they got to the real thing would make this session a good one.

She liked his nervous enthusiasm. He steadied his breath and concentrated more on the job at hand. Down the shirt came to her beautiful flat stomach, before it was undone completely and the front of her body was exposed before him.

Lois around so her back was before him and held her arms out. Understanding her meaning, he slowly took off her shirt, sliding it down her shoulders and off each of her arms. The only thing keeping her torso from being completely naked was her bra. She looked back at him and smiled, batting her eyes sweetly at him.

Morty didn't even bother trying to fight the grin coming onto his face. He fiddled with the clasp on the back of the bra for a bit longer than he liked to, but once it was off, he pulled the straps off her shoulders. She lowered her arms to make it easier for him.

Once it was off, she undid her pants, with a far more practiced hand and graceful speed than he had. It was a testament to her experience as well, she was just as ready to get her freak on, but after Morty's awkwardness, the ease in which she was getting herself naked now was like a work of art. Her pants off, she turned around to look at him. He was caught between gawking at her lovely breasts and sexy legs completely bare before him, but his eyes diverted straight to her crotch when her hands went to her white lace panties. She teased him, outlining her fingers on both sides of the panties, before she slowly pulled them down, bringing her legs up so the underside of her smooth and shapely thighs was before him. He watched her bring the panties up off her legs, and then they were off. He tried to sneak a glance at her naked vagina, but before he knew it, she had flung the panties right in his face.

Morty jumped in his skin when that happened. The two guys in front started laughing before he managed to get the panties off his face. He stared at them in awe. That was before Lois pulled him forward by the collar of his shirt, both of them falling down onto the car seat with him on top of her, and put his head straight between her legs.

He barely had any time to react when he felt her hot naked wetness right on his face. She was holding down the back of his head. He was stunned at first, but when she didn't let him go, he quickly got back in gear.

He started licking at her vaginal lips slow at first, tasting the first of her residual wetness but her grip was still tight. He knew he'd have to step it up a bit, and he did. He licked deeper and faster, he didn't know if he was doing any good, but her whole body was starting to shake a bit.

Her grip started to loosen a bit on the back of his head from the power of his cunnilingus. Understanding that he was doing it right, Morty continued eating her out at that same pace. Eventually she let go of him and lay back on the seat as she let him go at it.

Lois' nipples were getting harder as he kept at his job of clamdiving. She put her hands under head contentedly and started moaning deeply. She had her cunt worked better before, namely by the driver and her own daughter, and the big guy was getting jealous of this kid too. Despite everything he had done with her back in Miami, he still had yet to eat out that pussy, and if Morty hadn't shown up, he would have happily done so as soon as he spotted her here in Quahog. For Lois, his technique left something to be desired but that's what was making him so fun right now. It all felt so new and exciting even if she wasn't getting off as much as she liked.

“Don't forget about my clit,” Lois said, looking down at him and reaching down to the clitoral hood to bare her nub before him. The clit was hard and pink, a clear sign of her arousal, and he looked up at it admiringly. Morty did exactly as he was told, moving his mouth up to Lois' beautiful jewel.

“O-okay...” Morty said, tapping it for a few seconds in awe with his fingers, enjoying the soft texture and consistency to it before he licked her there for the first time. Lois bit the underside of her lip, she was so glad she had taken a chance and snagged him up when she did. He was awkward and unsure of himself but that's why someone like him would be so much fun to dominate and control. Just like when he was directly eating out her vagina, he wasn't the best when it came to using her clitoris either, but what was driving her crazy was his dedicated submission.

She started playing with her nipples to speed up her impending orgasm. As Morty continued working her, she was surprised to feel him become more aggressive with his cunnilingus. He started moving his tongue in and out of her snatch so that he slurped at her clit with each lick. Lois laughed seductively at his improving technique, and realized she was going to cum sooner than she expected.

She squealed in delight when it happened, her whole body jerked. But she was so horny that neither of them expected her to squirt right on his face. The guys up front were surprised too, and they didn't mind that her spray was so wild that a few stray drops got right on their faces too.

She kept squirting on Morty's face and he could only look up dumbfounded. The fluid dripping down his face, on his lips and him faintly tasting it's sweetness, the strange smell, it left him dazed and awestruck. They all looked at him, snickering at the lost look in his eyes.

“Clean yourself up,” Lois said. Morty nodded awkwardly, licking his lips and taking what juice he could into his hands and licking at his dewy fingers.

“Now it's onto the next step,” she said. She cupped his head and slowly directed his attention a few inches below. He didn't understand at first, but when she took both her hands and spread her anus wide open.

“Whoa...” he said. He thought he was going to be fucking her ass at that moment, but she surprised all of the guys there when she grabbed the back of his head again and this time, shoved his face onto her rosebud.

She held him there tightly with a vicious smirk on her face before she let him go. He backed his head out, with a big blush on his face.

“Did you like it?” she said.

“Um...I, I don't know,” he said.

“You'll eat out my pussy, but you won't eat my ass?”

“That is messed up,” said the bigger guy up front. “If you won't do it, then I guess I will.”

“And then we can do so many other things too,” Lois said, looking up at him. Morty looked between them, and they were smiling at each other. He looked at the driver for support but he just shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay, okay!” Morty said. After getting a blowjob from her and eating out her pussy, he was not going to be pushed to the sidelines like Rick liked to do with him.

He slowly put his head back at her anus. She spread open her ass cheeks again, making the hole visible for him. He licked at it, awkwardly at first, just like he had been doing so with her vagina. Lois was filled with another thrill akin to domination. But she furrowed her eyebrows when he stopped and looked up at her.

“I can't do it,” he said. “Not like this.”

“Oh,” Lois said flatly.

“Yeah, I need you to sit on me while I do it!” Morty said, lying down.

“Damn, little man ain't too bad,” said the big guy.

“Oh really?” Lois said. “Well I hope you don't mind,” she said, rising herself up so her butt was hovering right above Morty's face and spanked one of the cheeks so hard it jiggled. “I am getting older and people tell me all the time I still look like a teenager, but I don't know. Do you think my ass is too fat like my neighbor Bonnie and that I should I take up yoga or pilates or whatever's popular these days with all the girls my age?”

“No, your ass is not too fat! I love it!” Morty said, licking his lips.

“Good boy,” she said, and sat down right on top of his face. She was positioned so that her cunt was on top of his chin, while her cheeks covered up the rest of his face. She started squirming in pleasure when she felt his tongue wriggling in her anus. Nor did she mind his hands grabbing and squeezing her tight rear end.

While Morty was eating out her asshole, the big guy hung his head in disappointment. The driver elbowed him to look up at what was going on, and he did. Lois was humming in delight wearing a contented grin on her face with her eyes closed blissfully. She looked at both of the guys just watching her ride this little boy, and she mouthed, He's such a good little slut.

“Lucky bastard,” said the man.

“Don't worry buddy,” said the driver. “Plenty of fish in the sea.”

Lois had started moving back and forth on his face. Morty had started out by simply licking around her anus, her butthole was so tight and clean that he didn't know how to actually get his tongue directly in there. But just like when he was eating her pussy, he started getting into it, sticking his tongue right in there unashamed and without any fear. With Morty firmly holding her ass, she started playing with her nipple again and worked her clit with the other hand.

She rode his face with more gusto. Her moans became louder and more helpless, she was looking and acting like a sex kitten you'd find at a strip club, not a bored housewife with three kids. It was good for Morty too, he happily inhaled her scent, the taste of her, everything. He was getting hard again, feeling her ride him the way she was, knowing that she was liking everything he was doing to her, and he loved her tight sexy ass crushing his face every time he tasted her anus. Whatever hesitation he had left was gone, he was perfectly content to serve her right now and not think of anything else.

As he was munching on her rosebud, Lois was awe of how big and hard he was getting. His rimjob was playng a role, but all she could think was how good his hot prick would feel inside her. She naughtily licked her lips, fantasizing about it.

Not that she was able to think straight for too long. Lois came again in that instant, crying out. She kept riding his face, melting into the afterglow of her climax, not giving any thought to the safety of the teenager who just drove her to ecstasy. Morty felt her pussy getting wet on his chin and moaned in satisfaction at all of it.

She got up off of his face and looked down at him. His eyes were lidded dreamily and he had a big dumb grin while his skin was beet red. He was flushed too, both from all the sex they had so far and from the pressure of her butt on top of his head. In addition to all of Lois' juices fresh on his face, a little bit of drool had formed on his lips. Nowhere near as bad as his grandfather's ever present drunken slobber, but still noticeable.

“You gonna be okay there?” said the driver. Morty just moaned an, “Uh-huh,” in response.

“Goddamn kid, you don't know how good you have it,” said the man.

“I didn't hurt you did I?” Lois said. Morty groaned something unintelligible again. “Well you know, you did make a mess. Let me clean you up.” She lowered her face to his and started gently hungrily licking his chin, his cheeks, his whole face. Then she closed the distance again and kissed him deeply on the lips. The way she was over him, it was like she was kissing her child goodnight despite how lewd she was being. Morty returned it as best he could but he was lost in a state of absolute bliss, and he simply closed his eyes and savored all of it.

When she was done, she rose up and looked down at him again. She loved the taste of her juices in his mouth, his complete passivity before her. She started pinching his nipples a bit, yanking and twisting them a bit, but even though he felt it, he was too mesmerized to respond.

Smirking to herself, Lois stood over him and began taking off his already undone pants, tossing them onto the car seat. Nobody noticed the canister of self insert fluid falling out of the pocket, and if they had, they would had thought it was a miniature lava lamp or something like that. Before long, he was completely naked down there. His penis was just as hard as when she had first sucked him off, but now she had a different idea in mind.

Lois flipped him over so that he was laying on his stomach before she lowered her head before his small ass, and pulled his buttcheeks open so that his anus was visible before her. She gently poked his genitals and perineum for a response, admiring how he had probably never had anyone touch him in his sweetest spot. He barely took any notice of it, still lost in his fantasy land of happiness before he felt her tongue dive inside of his asshole.

It shook him out of his blazed over stupor. It was both the first time he had ever felt such a thing even with his memories as Healthy Morty, but also because of how good it felt. He felt his balls swelling up almost immediately, and it was like his dick was being filled with electricity. He had to grab onto the seat to keep himself steady.

Lois knew exactly how to give a good rimjob. She also knew just how sensitive guys were in that spot. The best of it all though was that she knew no matter how experienced someone like Morty might have been, there was no way someone his age must have gotten it often in such a vulnerable spot, let alone from someone as skilled as Lois Griffin. He was completely submissive before her in these exquisite moments.

On his end, Morty couldn't contain himself. The pleasure Lois was giving him didn't just feel good, it felt unreal. Even though she wasn't touching his dick at any point in those moments, it felt like she was doing exactly that even as his swollen junk was currently mashed up on the soft car seat. More than that, it felt better than her hands and her mouth, it felt like something else altogether, and all he could do was lie back as she worked him.

Morty started crying out. He was so horny that he was vigorously humping the car seat. And the seat was soft enough that it didn't chafe his naked genitals at all despite how fast he was going. Lois' drop dead gorgeous beauty, her experience in pleasuring him, and being away from Rick, it was all so good.

Her tongue hit all the way to the end of his anal cavity, touching his g-spot just right, and he felt a jolt of pleasure all the way from his balls to his dick, through his spine and up into his brain. He started moving faster and faster, he couldn't control himself anymore, until finally all the power left his body. He came hard just then, screaming helplessly as his dick erupted large gushes of semen, splashing all over his stomach and on the car seat just below.

Not that Lois cared. She knew he had cum just then, felt him quivering and heard his screams, and knew she had just driven him to a nut. She kept on massaging his sensitive prostate with her tongue all the while she held his hips, stimulating him even while he was in immersed what was easily one of the strongest orgasms, if not the strongest orgasm, he ever had in his entire life.

Morty held onto the edge of the car seat as she ruthlessly licked inside his anus. He couldn't move or think, all he could do was surrender to her powerful mouth and the magic she was working on him. His mind blanked out as she licked him again and again.

It wasn't long until he came again. A cry barely escaped his throat this time, he was totally at her mercy then. It didn't make the next nut any weaker. After he was done jizzing all over the place again, he moaned deeply. His body was twitching, he couldn't think of anything then, all he wanted to do was let her work him.

When she did stop licking him, he didn't even feel it. The only sensations he was cognizant of were a pleasant electricity constantly running through his body and an amazing lightheaded bliss in his skull. He smiled at all of it.

She raised herself over him. Just like before when she first sucked him off, she looked down on him in his weakened stupor. She grinned and felt his naked butt, squeezing his small rump before she started spanking him. He was faintly aware of it and when he did start to feel it more as her hits got rougher, all he could do was think that it was good pain.

She put her lips to his ear again. “Wake up little boy. There's so much more fun to be had before this is all over.” She started tracing her nails down his back, and after the way she worked his butthole, her touches sent electric sensations through his spine. He rose up and flipped him over to look at her.

She kissed him again, moaning lusciously in all of it. Her tongue scoured every corner of his mouth just like before, she loved having him under her like this. His dick was still ramrod stiff and hot, she felt it near her vagina, she knew she could have so much more fun with him before she was done here in the Bang Bus.

As she continued smooching him, she picked him up under his armpits and set him up so that he was sitting upward with his back against the car seat. Behind her, the two guys were watching with big grins on their faces. Seeing the back of Lois Griffin's naked body sauntering over this just as naked young boy, her lovely ass hovering over his prick and legs jiggling with every movement she made, was a sight from heaven, and they couldn't wait to see her ride him like crazy.

Morty had slowly been coming around. Just as he had gradually began kissing her back, she broke the kiss. Looking him straight in the eyes, he had a dreamy look on his expression.

“L-Lois...”

It didn't even register to her that he knew her name and she never told him. She just put a finger on his lips. “Call me mommy.”

“Mommy...”

She locked lips with him again before she sank her juicy twat down on his hard cock. His eyes almost bugged out feeling her tight and wet embrace on his bare penis. After the way she worked his anus and drove him to orgasm several times that way, the soft and wet embrace of her cunt onto his cock felt unreal, it was like he felt like he was a virgin all over again.

He pumped into her almost instinctually. Fast and sloppy, he had no control of himself. He started screaming, “Mommy!” over and over again. Lois lifted herself off of him. Morty was shaking, breathing fast, his hard and hot cock tingling with almost agonizing pleasure. It was only the submissive state his mind was in that kept him from grabbing her hips and fucking her again.

“Take your time and fuck my pussy slowly,” she said. “Mommy loves her little boy's big dick.”

“Yes...yes mommy!”

Satisfied with that answer, she lowered herself slowly down to his penis. She had a naughty smile on her face, hovering over his cock for several seconds before in one fast strong motion, she dove her pussy down onto his penis again. He was tempted to go crazy inside of her again, but after her warning, he kept himself steady.

Lois was moving up and down on top of him at a slow but steady pace. He was thick enough that he was pushing against her wet insides and she loved it. And with every thrust, he hit to the end of her vagina.

It was great for Morty too, and he was hitting her back slowly. As he calmed himself down, he looked at the beautiful woman on top of him, locked eyes with hers and adjusted the rate of his thrusts to match the speed she was humping him. They had reached a sexual sync with each other, not too hard, not too fast.

She started moaning, louder and more energetically as they continued rocking back and forth with each other. The sight of her breasts jiggling before him, her face lost in pleasure, and her tight vagina cradling his cock as she rode him, it was all so good. After those anal orgasms broke him so completely, the familiar heat of lust and passion concentrating solely in his dick gave him control again and he gave it back to her just as good.

Becoming comfortable with his resilience and stamina, he reached his hands up and started fondling her small breasts. He enjoyed how they squished on his hands, they were just as supple and tight as her ass was, and he loved the feeling of her hard nipples on his palms. Their stiffness was a testament to her arousal and he enjoyed the way they flicked up against his hands. The more he played with them too, the tighter her snatch got on his dick hitting inside of her.

Feeling bolder, he leaned forward and started sucking on one of her tits while he cupped one of her buttcheeks with the other hand. As they continued fucking each other, she picked up the pace of how fast she was riding his cock. She surprised the both of them when her thrusts stopped for an instant as she came right on his penis. But despite how her vagina milked and squeezed at his prick harder than ever in those moments, Morty was able to keep his cool.

It was in no small part due to the multiple orgasms he had at her hands before. His sexual energy was far from dampened, but despite how good it felt this time, he had gotten used to the ecstasy. And he intended to enjoy the feeling of her cunt on his cock as much as possible.

As he kept pumping into her, he increased his pace too. He was feeling more confident and hornier than ever, completely in charge of the delicious older woman on top of his member. He bit and sucked at her breast like he owned it, embracing his masculine power and energy.

Yet for all that, it was no substitute for experience. As he rammed inside of her harder and faster, he found himself near his breaking point. He had to stop sucking her tit to start crying out louder and louder.

“Are you gonna cum?”

“Yes! Yes mommy!”

“Then cum for mommy!”

“I'm cumming! I'm cumming!” he said, as his whole dick tensed up, head and shaft, before he shoot several powerful blasts of semen deep inside of Lois' vagina.

Feeling his penis spasming inside of her and cumming inside of her in quick seconds between each other, she laughed deeply in satisfaction before she pulled his head and took it to her bosom. “Yes! Yes! It's so good!” she said as she herself came again with him. His dick pounding inside of her, the rush of jizz deep inside of her, and the thrill of dominance made for a particularly potent orgasm on Lois' end.

He kept pumping into her for a minute or two before he finally had to stop. Even after he was finished, he was still clinging to her and she kept holding him, planting small kisses on his head. He looked up at her.

“Did you like that?”

He looked up at her. “Yes...it was so good, mommy.”

“It was good for me too.” They started making out, the both of them moaning into it. As they were kissing, what surprised the both of them the most was that Morty was still hard even after such an intense orgasm.

Lois broke the kiss and looked at him. “There's one more thing mommy wants you to do.”

“Okay...”

She smiled and propped herself off of him. She turned around and got on all fours, wiggling her ass before him. She looked back at him with a lewd smile. “Mommy loved it when you ate her ass. Now mommy needs you to fuck her ass.”

“Yes mommy!”

“Maybe we should rethink the alien angle,” said the driver. “That kid has a fucking wonder cock, still getting stiff after all that action.”

“He's something special alright,” said the man. “His grandpa might have some super boner pills on that UFO of his.”

Morty raised himself up on his knees and grabbed Lois' hips. He wedged his cock in between her plump ass cheeks for a few seconds, enjoying the soft and pliant texture of her donk on his hands and penis before he rammed his prick inside of her anus. She moaned loudly at the sensation of his meat stabbing it's way all inside of her. As he was pumping inside of her, she was not inactive herself and was hitting her ass right back up against his hips.

He had been plenty horny from the get go and was more than eager to fuck her tushy. But he was unprepared for just how tight her asshole really was. With each thrust of his inside of her, she was giving it back to him at the same time, and he found it more difficult to maintain his staying power, all the while she was able to give it back to him with just as much strength, no problem.

More than that, it was the way she was using her anal muscles that was pushing him to his breaking point. Body and mind, Lois Griffin was a perfect seductress. He had long fantasized about having her whenever he watched Family Guy, a beautiful older redheaded woman who knew exactly how to please a guy, but he never thought it would feel this good for real. Everything he had done with Lois had been amazing, but her ass might as well have been the best part. Morty could easily come to love being trapped here in Quahog as long as he got to do it with her for the rest of his life. Rick's self insert fluid might as well have holy water that took him straight to heaven.

Then she clenched herself down on his prick. She hadn't come through her butt yet, but she was so skilled with using her anal muscles that she could make any man feel like she actually had. But she wasn't doing this to fake an orgasm, she wanted to have more pleasure in dominating the young boy penetrating her. She was so tight that at first Morty was so shocked and in awe that he couldn't keep plowing her. Lois on the other hand had no problem resuming her part in their tryst, and she hit her fine behind back up against his hips every time.

She was giving it to him so good that his meat was already plumping and tensing up, and he felt like he was near another orgasm. Yet he wasn't just going to take it. Morty regained his composure just then and resumed earnestly pumping inside of her. Lois smiled at his newfound vigor and moaned louder and deeper than ever. Her voice sent a thrill down his spine and he smiled, hastening his pace inside of her.

He came inside of her sooner than either of them expected. He was so out of control that he started jerking himself in and out of her as a clumsy and wild speed before his dick released several shots of semen inside of her. But the rate at which he was using his hips was so jerky that his cum was being released in every bit of her rectum, from the end of her anal cavity to the beginning. He was so into it he didn't feel her anal orgasm just then either. And his jizz was a great lubricant for how quickly his dick was bouncing back and forth inside of her.

Though he just came, Morty was determined to still fuck Lois like crazy. He knew he couldn't last much longer, but he wanted to stuff her as long as he could. She wasn't ready for him to be this into it though, and her arms gave way as she collapsed on top of the seat with her ass sticking up. He continued pounding her until his stamina surprised the both of them and he had a second nut in quick succession.

Finally exhausted, Morty sighed and pulled out of her, laying back down on the car seat. He had a big grin on his face. Lois also had to rest for several minutes after being wracked by such powerful orgasms. She was plenty excited to have him pound her butt, but the novelty and newness of Morty's clumsy thrusts coupled with his youthful energy at the end there was what made her cum through her asshole in the end. She softly sighed feeling it, enjoying the feeling of his jizz seeping out of her holes.

The two guys just smiled seeing it. They only wished they could be Morty right then, laying down there after eating and fucking all of Lois Griffin, but what they liked even more was seeing Lois lost in a state of post orgasm with her ass still up in the air, moaning blissfully, cum still leaking out of her. Now they were both glad they let her direct this adventure.

When she finally came to, she put her clothes back on, and then the three of them looked down at the still dazed Morty.

“Luckiest fucking bastard alive,” said the man.

“Hey kid, that your first time?” said the driver.

Morty was silent, breathing listlessly before he said, “N-no...” He looked up at Lois. “But it was the best.”

“And you got me real good too,” Lois said. “Now come on and get dressed. Mommy has something to show you!”

That woke him up fast. He got his clothes back on too, not noticing the vial of self-insert fluid lying next to his pants on the floor of the car, and walked out of the Bang Bus. Lois held out her hand, and Morty's heart skipped a beat. He took it, and they walked hand in hand back to the Griffin household. Morty thought he heard a whooshing sound behind him, like something zapping at the speed of light, but he was so high on life that it barely registered to him.

If he had been paying attention, he would have realized that the Bang Bus just vanished in a blue flash to another reality.

“Did you pay for all that tail with Rick's new toy?” said the car to Morty, still just as monotone as ever. “It's your ass that's on the line right now.” Neither of them paid any attention to it.

When they got back, Rick was sitting on the couch watching interdimensional cable with Brian and Stewie. Lois showed a bit of surprise, seeing this strange old man around her youngest son. They also noticed a long green vegetable next to them. Morty squinted real hard and saw that it had a face.

The situation was weird enough that it shook Morty out of his sexual stupor. “Rick, what are you doing here?” Morty said.

“Hey bro!” the vegetable said with Summer's voice. “I'm Cucumber Summer!”

“Oh wow,” Lois said. “I should be surprised, but my dog can talk to me, so eh, just another day right?”

“What?” Morty said, genuinely surprised, now forgetting all about Lois. “Summer, why the hell would you do that?”

“Don't be such a buzzkill Morty, we had to do it,” Rick said. “Stewie was the only one who could help me, and it was a tit for tat deal, an 'I wipe your ass, you wipe mine,' kind of situation. He wanted to do an experiment, and normally I wouldn't take that from a goddamn baby who's so in the closet that he's actually gay for his stuffed teddy bear and even with all his brains and mildly evil megalomania I could probably still kick his ass, but then again I remembered we are in the world of Family Guy and we wanted to do some wild shit so...here we are, Cucumber Summer. Best idea I've ever had. Hitting all those notes with the fanbase without going too far off the rails.”

“You got that right old man!” Stewie said. “Shame you people have to go, this is the most fun I've had in ages! Though if we ever square off, I assure you that victory is mine!”

“And it's nice to talk to another super mega genius, just without the downside of being a major asshole like I am.”

“It actually kinda sucks though,” Summer said. “I know I was all like, 'I'm Cucumber Summer!' but I can't move or anything.”

“But why?” Morty said.

“Unlike you Morty, your sister is willing to make sacrifices for the important things in life,” Rick said.

“But why?” Morty said, still incredulous.

“Well, in exchange for me turning Summer into a cucumber, Stewie here is going to help me refine the portal fluid to get the hell out of here when we're finished fooling around.”

“But why?” Morty said, becoming increasingly irritated.

“Oh yeah. Lois' brother still thinks he has a wife named Marian that nobody else can see, and Stewie wanted to fuck with him, see if she actually pickles. So here we are.”

“You turned my sister into a cucumber for that?”

“Morty, we had to get out of here, and Stewie is the only other person here who actually has perfected interdimensional travel.” He burped. “Oh yeah, and fun fact. Turns out that Lois' brother didn't have an imaginary friend at all, Marian is actually a non-corporeal alien and can only be interacted with or heard by people they choose. Kind of like God, and I mean depending on who you ask, God is an asshole, so yeah.”

“So he's not crazy?” Lois said, taking an interest.

“Oh sorry to get your hopes up. Definitely crazy.”

“Lois, your brother is a serial killer that targets fat people,” Stewie said, deadpan.

“I mean, don't get me wrong, Marian here was the bitch that put the idea in his head in the first place but he still acted on it, so yeah, sorry Lois, but your brother's still...” Rick twirled his fingers at his head and started whistling like a bird. “It's not like she's really hot or anything either. And if you're wondering how I know that Morty, it turns out that one of the uses for a plumbus is that I can actually see and hear Marian with it, don't ask how that works, it would take far too long and I only brought it with me for scientific curiosity at best and maybe we might actually solve some unresolved plot threads in wherever fictional world we ended up in, you know it might be the equivalent of a legendary sword from the gods against some long standing villain with ridiculous plot powers up the wazoo and we make some new canon. Which I guess we are kinda doing.”

“I like the shape of that plumbus though,” Stewie said. “It reminds me of something big and long with just the right amount of wrong.”

“And we've talked to her, she's even less convincing and interesting than Jerry is. Bitch is so dumb she doesn't even notice us talking shit about her right now. Or that there's something big and hard between her legs right now.”

“Fuckin A, I came here to get away from my parents and their weird sex stuff, and now I'm kinda doing weird sex stuff,” Summer said.

“Did you find all that out before or after you turned my sister into a cucumber?” Morty said.

“After, Morty,” Rick said. “After. Fuck's fakes bro, I'm not a monster.” He leaned over to Morty's ear and whispered, “We're not strictly in the world of Family Guy either, turns out this reality is more of a weird fanfiction crossover thing. I don't get it either, but yeah Morty, we're in a fanfiction. Looks like I hit the mark with naming that shit self insert fluid.”

“Oh, okay,” Morty said, feeling around in his pockets for the canister of self insert fluid. He gulped when he felt them empty. Then he remembered that it messing up the car is what got them into this mess in the first place.

“So uh, you ever find out why that junk messed up your car?”

“It's just a weird little side effect,” Stewie said. “Interfiction travel makes it so that any inorganic material is temporarily rendered inert after a successful gateway is opened. Doesn't even last that long, about thirty minutes or so.”

“Yeah my car should be back to tip top shape in no time at all!” Rick said.

“You don't say, huh...” Morty said. He suddenly remembered the weird sound behind him when he got out of the Bang Bus, that it sounded exactly like when he got here in the Family Guy world. And then he thought about the car AI's last retort.

“Rick and Morty on crossover adventures! Rick and Morty going to all kinds of places! Maybe we'll even find some weird gender swapped world! Rick and Morty going to the Game of Thrones world and giving the fans the ending they wanted all along! And then we make George RR Martin finish the damn books already too! Rick and Morty fanfiction forever!”

“Um yeah, about that...I lost the self insert fluid so...”

“You lost it? How? I told you to keep it in your pocket!”

“Well, when I was um...” He looked at Lois nervously. “When I was learning things from her, it fell out of my pocket.” He paused and said, “And it was in a van that drove off so...”

Rick groaned and took another drink from his flask. “I swear, I don't want to say you're the worst but...” He burped. “Well good for you anyway Morty. You got to score with that piece. Prioritizing the important things in life.”

“What?” Brian said, shocked. He just noticed Lois and Morty were still holding hands.

“Just starting to catch up huh?” Stewie said.

“If it makes you feel any better Brian, I might have accidentally put horse cock serum in his dinner last night,” Rick said.

“What?” Morty said.

“Yeah, Jerry wanted me to do it for him as a favor without letting anybody else know, and I mean I wasn't going to do it at first, but it's Jerry, he's so pitiful you have to kowtow to his every demand. He wanted to try and impress both of the Beths so they'd feel bad for underappreciating him, he told me he was gonna drop his pants and tell them to bow before their new king and I mean, if those two saw it after I gave him that serum they definitely would bow to him even if it's Jerry, you know they're ridiculous freaks, but instead...”

“They were both laughing so hard last night I could hear it through the walls,” Summer said.

“Yeah they sure were...” Morty said.

“But he was so big,” Lois said, grinning at Morty.

“You got any orange juice?” Morty said, smiling dreamily at the thought of everything he just did.

“So I figure that's why you were away for so long just now,” Rick said. “Having the time of your life huh.”

“That just makes it worse!” Brian said.

“You know I'm loving this, right Brian?” Stewie said.

“Can't you just make some more?” Morty said.

“What, you mean horse cock stuff?” Rick said. “Wow, Morty, you know there's an entire industry based on selling pills for that sort of thing, you know your grandpa has better things to do.”

“No, I mean the self-insert fluid!”

“I could Morty, I could, but if I do, all I'll be able to think is how badly you fucked up this adventure, and never let you do all the cool stuff you wanted on any other worlds we go to. So your call I guess.”

“Maybe we can go on journeys instead,” Stewie said. “Rick and Stewie crossover adventures!”

Rick smiled at that. “Rickandstewie.com!”

“Rick and Stewie kicking all kinds of ass!”

“Rick and Stewie kicking the shit out of alien overlords!”

“Stewie goes to a universe where there's only hot studs around!”

“Not exactly my thing, but not exactly opposed either!”

“My kinda guy!”

“And Rick is still running from all his responsibilities!”

“I'm a baby and I have no responsibilities so I'm onboard!”

“Hell yeah!”

“Aw jeez...” Morty said.

“How much longer do I have to do this anyway?” Summer said. “I mean, I still have wolverine claws.” She tried extending them forth. “Just give me a sec...”

“That's not a good idea honey,” Rick said. “You're a cucumber right now so you'll probably end up destroying your insides all the way. I don't make the rules, it's just science. I mean, don't get me wrong, if you wanna fuck Marian up, go nuts. Just know you'll get pretty wrecked too.”

“That sounded all kinds of wrong...” Stewie said.

Brian rolled his eyes. He still couldn't look away from Morty and Lois holding hands. “Lois, you and him didn't really...”

“He's just a friend,” Lois said. “He didn't know a lot of things before, but he does now.”

“Yeah,” Morty said dreamily, smiling and remembering all of it.

“Oh yeah we did all kinds of fun things like...”

“No, no, no!” Brian said. “I don't need to know!”

Rick smiled. “Oh yeah, forgot about that cutaway joke rule.”

“Good save, I don't want to see that either,” Summer said.

“Don't be like that Brian,” Lois said. “It's not like it was the first time I've fooled around.”

“What?” Brian said.

“Well there were these two guys down in Florida, then I did it with Meg and...”

“What!”

“Wow, and I thought my parents were messed up,” Summer said.

“This is definitely someone's fanfiction alright,” Rick said.

“Yeah Brian, if Meg is scoring better than you, looks like you're the new bitch of the house, huh?” Stewie said.

“So where did Patrick go anyway?” Lois said.

“Don't worry about it,” Rick said. “First off, Chris, Peter, and whoever else is important here who's also fat has plot armor so nobody you care about is gonna bite it.”

“That's your only reaction?” Morty said, wanting to impress Lois.

“Hey I didn't say he was going out to farm, I'm just saying if he was out killing someone, it's nobody else's business but his own. Secondly, none of this is canon bro, so you know, big whoop.” He had to burp really hard before he looked at Morty again. “Besides, when have you been the beacon of moral purity? Every single time you've tried to do the right thing, you've gone ahead and fucked it up. Like that one time...”

“No, I don't need a play for play recall of my life right now!” Morty said. “Unless you wanna talk about that one time that Rick decided to...”

“Shut up Morty! Fine, you win alright? I don't need people seeing all my shit either.”

“I still don't feel right leaving things like this though. It's really fucked up.”

“He's right, I'm gonna go do something,” Brian said, leaving.

“Don't get lost chasing your tail,” Stewie said.

“That's it, we're just gonna leave him to go alone after a serial killer?” Morty said.

“Hey man, it's your call,” Rick said.

“So Lois, I loved being with you, but I can't let this go just like that,” Morty said before leaving to follow Brian.

“Oh okay,” she said, dejectedly.

Rick took another drink. “Morty's going with a talking bipedal dog capable of something resembling rational thought. And this is after he just fucked the hot redheaded mother that said dog has been obsessing over. Two characters with plot armor and a big conflict of interests really lacking in self-awareness of just how shitty they can be when they want something. I see no reason whatsoever to believe how this could ever go wrong.” He burped. “Or maybe they just act like some weird Scooby and Shaggy duo where the both of them try and outdo each other and look like chicken shits when they inevitably get into trouble because they're both passive aggressive idiots that always think with the wrong head.”

“I don't know what you're talking about except for that bit about Brian because even the rapist neighbor next door knows he's an asshole.” Stewie said.

“True that. And in my defense, I'm too busy watching over my granddaughter until she pickles to give a shit about either of them because that's how we're gonna get out of here,” Rick said.

“So where is Chris anyway?” Lois said. “I know Peter's out, but I haven't seen him all day.”

“I don't know,” Stewie said. “This bitch just can't keep an eye on her own kids, huh?”

“Look on the bright side, he's got plot armor though, so he's safe,” Rick said.

“Yeah, go plot armor,” Stewie said.

Then there was a loud grunt from upstairs followed by a pleased sigh and a deep male voice saying, “Oh, that was so good.”

Everyone started laughing hard, even Lois. “There's Chris!” she said.

“This is definitely a smut fic and not some grand adventure,” Rick said. “Hey Lois, before we get out of here, how about you and me do a little something? It's kind of a good thing Morty left when he did. That horse cock serum is only temporary, no way does Jerry get a perma upgrade, and I mean, I'm sure my experience in using mine beats all the ways he was wiggling that thing around.”

She got a naughty grin on her face. “Sure, maybe. You know, you kind of remind me of my dad. Kinda gets me hot and bothered!”

“Yeah, and you remind me of one of the versions of my daughter I abandoned in another reality except it's not weird.”

“You're still cool old guy Rick, and I still hate you Lois,” Stewie said.

“And mommy still loves you too sweetie!” Lois said.

Summer was getting weirded out on so many levels just then from everything that was happening and and needed to change the subject fast. “Hey Grandpa Rick, did you ever find out the deal behind Mr. Poopybutthole?”

“What's that now?” Rick said.

“You know, that long time family friend who keeps showing up? We still don't know much about him but he's always there.”

“No, I didn't but hey, Mr. Poopybutthole still makes more sense than how people here are okay with Herbert the pervert creeping on kids and...oh shit, two concrete out of the way references that have nothing to do with the plot right on the nose. So hey, hate to disappoint you people but this chapter's coming to a close, might as well do this random crossover cutaway joke.”

Stewie looked at Summer. “Hey, wait, wait, I think she's pickling!”

“Not before I teach this bitch a lesson!” Summer said, extending wolverine claws out the top of her cucumber head. “Summer for the fucking win!”

“Oof. that's gonna leave a mark,” Rick said.

Just then Patrick came in the front door. “I heard Marian screaming! Is she okay?” And right after, both Brian and Morty bumbled into the door, collapsing on top of each other. “Lois, we found him!” they both said at the same time.

Rick groaned. He looked at Stewie. “Hey, you still up for getting me and my grandkids out of here?”

“Sure, you're pretty cool old timer!” Stewie said. “Come back and visit sometime?”

“I'll try to, but don't count on it. I have abandonment issues. As in, I tend to abandon people and things and entire realities whenever it's convenient for me. And now on that note, this last scene with us is looking like a real ending, and the upcoming cutaway joke makes sense because instead of coming out of nowhere, it's like an actual after credits scene! It's the end of the fucking chapter! Woo!”

***

“Ooo-weee, what an adventure huh! Morty really did have the time of his life, and even Summer played an important role! Stay tuned for the next chapter! You're not gonna believe where the Bang Bus goes to this time! See you around!”

Herbert had been happily watching Nickelodeon when the TV switched on it's own to Mr. Poopybutthole just going on like that. He watched, perplexed, not knowing what the small creature was supposed to be.

“Jesse, this is the most confused erection I've ever had in my life.” The old dog just groaned. Then Mr. Poopybutthole pointed right at Herbert.

“I'm your best friend, and I always will be, ha-ha!” he said before he started dancing, wiggling his butt all over the place.

Herbert smiled. Jesse growled with satisfaction too. “Now we're getting somewhere!” Herbert said, putting some lotion on his hands.