19. Dressed Like a Common Trollop (Patreon)

It was the damnedest thing that Ken had ever seen, and he'd seen quite a bit in his time.

Monkey's plan was simple enough - get the girls to lure the bastard in by dressing like prostitutes, and then give him the chance to surrender (as honor demanded) once he was entrapped. If he offered the slightest hesitation or resistance, they'd kill the poor bastard.

Ken didn't feel good about killing folks with no provocation, even the Dark Riders, who were pretty much a known quantity. Ideally, you would give them a chance to face you in honorable combat, but that wasn't happening - not when the city's crime boss had already ordered his men to kill one of your members. So, technically, Black-blade had already broken the rules of honorable combat first and all Ken and company were required to do was offer surrender or death, which is what they did.

And the absolute idiots chose death. Both times. Sure, they probably thought they might fight their way out of a brawl against slim Ichika and sinuous Lynn, but there was no fighting your way out of Monkey Yang's poised knife turning your kidneys into chop suey. Ken was just there as backup, to make sure things didn't go to complete shit if Monkey Yang fucked up. Ninety percent of the scheme was up to the women.

"I do not feel comfortable with this plan," Ichika had stated - and for good cause.

"Me, either," Lynn agreed. "It seems really dangerous…"

"Dangerous? Are you not concerned with the fact that you're dressed like a common trollop?"

Lynn furrowed her brow in thought - it was vaguely preposterous to consider that Lynn's pleasant features, which wouldn't have looked out of place on a storybook princess, belonged to a transmigrator with ambivalent feelings on dressing like a harlot. "Oh… the clothes?" Lynn asked, reaching down to tug at the hem of her dress, which barely went down to her knees. "I think it's cute. Might be cuter as a romper, but this is like hot girl summer cute, you know?"

"Lynn… these are the attire of frontier town prostitutes recovered from Lee Dan's bedchambers," Ichika replied, sheer disbelief having banished any other emotion. "Have you no shame?"

Needless to say, Ken enjoyed the hell out of having two beautiful women dressed up that way, and it was pretty clear that Monkey Yang shared the sentiment - though he didn't care for it when Ken's eyes wandered toward the Lady's supple calves, so he kept his eyes mostly to the exposed contours of Lynn's taut physique. There was a lot to like. Still, Ken couldn't help the slight tension in his chest, the worry he got whenever his Lady, Tankano Ichika, knowingly went into danger. But she was a grown woman and a sublime warrior - she could defend herself against street trash.

Lynn was unfazed by Ichika's accusation of immodesty. "I dunno… where I come from, this stuff is like… maybe average modesty? Honestly, it's probably a teensy bit conservative. But I don't like the idea of just… going out there and trying to seduce Black-blade's dude into coming in here."

"So you don't think you can do it," Monkey stated with mock-concern.

"I didn't say that," Lynn said quickly. "It's just… it seems dangerous is all. Make sure you do your part, okay?"

"I'll do my part," Monkey said coolly. "You ready, Ken?"

"Of course. I'm injured, not deaf," Ken said with a bit more snark than was strictly necessary - Monkey might be a virtuoso with a knife, but Ken had five times the fighting experience. If you counted sect duels, that is.

Ken then watched on in mounting disbelief as Ichika's distaste and Lynn's anxiety seemed to melt away just as the Dark Rider thumped on Lee Dan's front door and demanded that the man come out.

"Lee Dan! You're late for your heavens-damned shift and Black-blade is vexed enough without your drunk ass failing to show up! Get your ass out here!"

The door groaned open. The two women slinked out of the house, sidling along either side of the bewildered man. Given his state of mind, they could have killed him with a slow knife then and there, in full view of the eavesdropping neighbors that Ken could hear crouching near their windows or wandering out into their gardens to take a gander at the latest Lee Dan drama.

Ichika giggled behind her hand like a coy schoolgirl. Lynn smirked like an inveterate seductress. She ran her fingers in little titillating trails along the man's burly arm. As one, both women pouted.

"Mister Lee already left for duty and the two of us are all alone in his big, empty house," Lynn groaned.

"Maybe you could keep us company, Master Cultivator… have you any yao?" Ichika added, running her slim fingers through his sweat-matted hair.

The man chuckled and patted at the change purse dangling suspiciously close to his crotch. "Oh, I've got yao. You say Lee Dan's already gone off for his duty?"

"Oh yes! It must have been ten minutes ago! You'll keep us company, won't you?" Lynn cooed. In that moment, Ken had no doubt that the transmigrator had at least a little experience with seducing men, and he was frankly a bit creeped out to see the normally-earnest woman become a velvety seductress as easily as turning her hand.

"I suppose I could spare a few minutes," the Dark Rider said and, without a care in the world he strolled right into Lee Dan's house and the door slid shut.

"Now… I hope you aren't trying to trick me," the man chuckled, "because I won't pay a wu more than what you're worth…"

Ichika took that moment to show the man her sheathed Red Harvest. "Surrender now and I shall spare your life, knave," she spat.

The man's dopey lust quickly shifted to shock and then rage. "Do you know who I am, bitch? I'll take what I want and gut you like a-"

Sadly, the world would never know what the man would gut Lady Ichika like, because Monkey Yang's knives found their way to the man's kidneys and he slowly collapsed with a disturbingly soundless scream. Monkey carefully positioned the body to prevent too much blood from spilling and then wiped his disgustingly gory blades against the man's dark leather armor, which had done precisely nothing to protect him from a quick and easy death but made for a pretty good wipe rag.

"I'd say that went well," Monkey said happily - if Monkey Yang had one virtue, it was that he didn't dwell on things. If he had two virtues, the second was that he moved so stealthily he should have called himself Panther Yang. "I'll just-"

At that moment, there was another banging on the door. "Lee Dan! You're late for your spirits-damned shift and Mister Feng is pissed enough without your wino ass playing hookie! Get your ass out here!"

Monkey glanced at the women. The women glanced at one another. Everybody shrugged.

"Ken, can you?" Monkey gestured toward the body.

"Yeah," Ken said, and he dragged the body off toward the kitchen while Monkey and the women reset for a repeat performance.

Wincing at the pain sparking from his still-regrowing fingers, Ken grabbed the body by the wrists and hauled it to the back of the kitchen. He dumped it on top of Lee Dan's grisly corpse. Beyond the damage that Lynn's spirit (who apparently shared her name, for some reason) had done, the kitchen was infested with mice, some of whom had already started to nibble at what Ken could only assume were the most delectable bits of dead fake-cultivator. Then he crept back toward the hallway in time to hear the ending of the encore.

"Do you know who I am, harlot? I'll have my way with you and gut you like a-"

Ken popped his head out just in time to watch the man contort in a rictus of pain and collapse on the exact spot the first guy had died on. That made three Dark Riders of Ieyasu killed in the late Lee Dan's house in the course of a single night.

At the rate things were going, they could just hunker down and wait for the rest of Black-blade Feng's men to wander in, one by one, and serve themselves up on a platter.

It was the damnedest thing that Ken had ever seen. Of course their luck couldn't last.

--------

For a minute, I thought we might catch all of Black-blade Feng's guys with the old honeypot scam - use a pair of pretty girls to draw Dark Riders into their doom ad infinitum. The fact that we did it with two guys in a row was pretty impressive in of itself, if you ask me. My understanding was that Feng didn't have more than seven or eight minions in total, so we'd taken out a full half of his guys already, maybe more.

Still… I felt kind of bad about killing all those guys. I mean… I hadn't personally killed any of them, but I was pretty clear on what Monkey Yang was going to do. Apparently, he used to be a house guard for some clan on the far end of the empire… I'm not sure I'd want to live in the kind of house that employed a guy like him.

"Those guys weren't very strong," I said. "How is it possible that Black-blade or that other guy…"

"Gentleman Liu?" Monkey asked.

"Yeah, that guy. How could they hold a whole town of six thousand people hostage by themselves? Does that make sense to anybody else?"

"You realize, Lynn, that these are just the lieutenants of Cold-blood Ieyasu, don't you?" Ichika asked. "Yes, I imagine any of the towns might rise up against Cold-blood's lieutenants, but Cold-blood would not be kindly disposed. His host in Divine Respite consists of two dozen false cultivators and two or three legitimate ones, and at least half a dozen among that number are a match for Black-blade. Ieyasu himself is a cruel knave, but a powerful and talented one. If any of the frontier towns were to upend his order, they would soon face his retribution."

"So Rushing Rivers is going to face retribution?" I asked.

"Perhaps. Why do you think Mayor Shan was so eager to bring the imperial inspector to his doorstep? No administrator wishes to unduly prod the powers that be, but when the options are hoping that the local cultivators who beat Ieyasu's minions will hold Ieyasu off and hoping the inspector and his staff will be there to assist the town, I know which one I'd prefer…"

"Is it us?"

"It is not, Lynn. Imperial inspectors are required to be in the fourth realm, and their retinue contains a dozen men in the second and third realms. We're a thorn in Ieyasu's side, but the forces of the empire would bury the bastard. That they haven't speaks poorly of the legate."

"Aw. I was hoping we'd, uh, liberate Emerald Vale…"

"Sadly, we'll probably have to flee from here in a few days' time. We can't fight Cold-blood, not directly, but we've been quite good about evading him. I daresay-"

Ken hurried back from his lookout spot in the front of his house. I rolled my eyes, expecting that there might be another Dark Rider who we'd have to entice and kill. I fixed the sash of my cute summer dress kimono thing and checked my face in the mirror. Thanks to being a cultivator, I had a near-perfect complexion, but I wouldn't turn my nose on a decent cosmetic kit. Did the empire even have cosmetics kits?

"Hey, Ichika, does the empire have-"

"Black-blade and two of his men ride upon us. I don't think they're gonna fall for the tittering harlot act," Ken said.

"Then we fight," Ichka said, placing her hand upon Red Harvest's pommel. "Perhaps after Lynn and I get dr-"

"Come out and face Black-blade Feng, you bastards, or I'll burn this heavens-damned house to the ground. You have until the count of ten to make yourselves known and face my blade!" Black-blade Feng boomed from outside, his voice loud enough to clearly hear from the house's front hallway.

"No time to get dressed, I guess," I shrugged. "Can I borrow a weapon from anybody?"

Ken pressed a sheathed knife into my palm. "I looted this from Lee Dan's things, but if it properly belongs to anybody, it's you," he said.

The sheath was black lacquer with filigree in gold leaf. "Thanks, Ken. That means a l-"

"Five seconds!" Black-blade Feng boomed.

"Ken, stay inside and protect the mortal girl," Ichika said.

"I can fight," he insisted.

"I know - that's why I'm asking you to protect the mortal girl."

"Fine, but I-"

"Your time is up, cowards!" Black-blade shouted. "If you won't make yourselves known, I will-"

"Cool your tits, asshole!" I shouted, storming to the door. "We're coming out!"

Monkey Yang pointed out that Black-blade wasn't exactly an honorable guy and might well have archers ready to skewer us when we exited. He didn't see any, but that didn't mean they weren't there. Archery sniping was apparently looked down upon by cultivators - something about killing people from a distance without letting them prepare was dishonorable, I guess? But I agreed with Yang - the amount of faith I had in Black-blade's honor wouldn't fill a smoothie sample cup.

Instead, we ran out the kitchen exit and into the back yard, bottles clinking underfoot. I almost tripped on the pile of very-bloody bodies near the back of the room but managed to not embarrass myself. We rushed into the dark of the yard, and I realized that, if we really wanted to, we could just run away… but that would mean leaving Hana and Ken behind. Ken was kind of a grumpus but a pretty decent dude overall… and Hana was my disciple. No way could I leave her behind.

"Hey, they're in the back courtyard!" one of Black-blade's men shouted. His observation was almost immediately inaccurate, because we vaulted over the six-foot stone wall separating the yard from the street side of the house and came in along Black-blade's flank.

To his credit, Black-blade Feng didn't have archers stationed to snipe at us. Maybe he just hadn't been able to get them arranged on such short notice.

Upon spotting us, he leapt from his horse and unsheathed his eponymous black blade in a single fluid motion, the corners of his lips quirking up. I couldn't yet tell how strong a cultivator (or fake cultivator) was just by feeling how the world's qi bent around them, but I could sense enough to tell that Black-blade was about as strong as Monkey Yang and the other two were a bit behind, no further than the early body-refinement stage. Did these assholes really think they could take us?

I mean… Monkey Yang could almost definitely kill me, and I was apparently like a quarter of a realm past him. But I was pretty sure I could take either of the weaker guys no matter how many decades of fighting experience they had. There's only so much you can do against somebody who's twice as fast and strong as you, as long as they aren't a complete maroon.

"Three against three seems a fair fight," Ichika stated, drawing Red Harvest from its sheath. "I am most eager to test her mettle against your black-blade."

Black-blade Feng sneered at us, his eyes taking in Ichika's taut, uncovered legs. He and his men stood in the street in front of their horses and the three of us stood several paces in front of the stone wall that ran along the side of Lee Dan's house. The night was quiet, the quarter moon and a bevy of stars and nebulae casting their faint glow upon us. Something was wrong, very wrong, but I couldn't quite put a finger on what it was.

A dozen windows in the nearby houses flickered to life as the neighbors crept about, trying to get a good look at what was transpiring outside. They were smart enough to stay indoors, though.

"As much as I would enjoy trading pointers with a fiery nymph, tonight is not my night," he said. With a crooked grin, he backed away toward his horse, the black blade returning to its sheath. "You have the honor to face my master."

A dozen torches flared to life, ignited by potent techniques. A dozen men rushed in with inhuman speed and practiced coordination, spears lowered and swords drawn. We were outnumbered and completely surrounded. A tall, slim man sauntered through their ranks, long, dark hair wavering in the breeze.

"The Iron Flower of Karu," came his smooth, deep voice. "So my cousin finally sent one of his weak-blooded whelps to pursue his little vendetta… I must say I'm disappointed it wasn't the boy. Disappointed but not surprised."

"My… my father doesn't know I'm here," Ichika said, her voice wavering with uncertainty.

What kind of utter nonsense family politics was I getting myself into?

The man chuckled, but his eyes only twinkled with malice. "Then I imagine he will find out soon enough, when I serve him your bloody, severed head. Come, little niece, and trade pointers with Cold-blood Ieyasu."